Guest guest Posted March 14, 2006 Report Share Posted March 14, 2006 hy is there only ONE Monopolies Commission? Why does " slow down " and " slow up " mean the same thing? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why does an alarm clock " go off " when it begins ringing? Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why are hemorrhoids called " hemorrhoids " instead of " asteroids " ? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? Does a fish get cramps after eating? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? You know how most packages say " Open here " . What is the protocol if the package says, " Open somewhere else " ? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Why isn't " palindrome " spelled the same way backwards? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- " objects in mirror are closer than they appear " , how can that be possible? Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC? Why is it called a TV " set " when you only get one? Why does your nose run and your feet smell? Why is it that doctors call what they do " practice " ? If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress? Why do they make cars go so fast its illegal? Why does " cleave " mean both split apart and stick together? Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same? Why is it called a " building " when it is already built? Why do they call them " apartments " when they are all stuck together? Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream? If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong? Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing? How can someone " draw a blank " ? Shouldn't there be a shorter word for " monosyllabic " ? Why is the word " abbreviate " so long? What is another word for " thesaurus " ? When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in? If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away? Why do 'tug' boats push their barges? Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there? Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting? ---- ---------- Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? How is it possible to have a civil war? If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons? If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Did ya hear? They took the word gullible out of the dictionary! Pessimist: Things couldn't be worse. Optimist: Oh yes they could! Even the gods enjoy humor...Socrates and bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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