Meeting Nisargadatta in '78. ..what a guy

[Guest guest]

Discovering Nisargadatta Maharaj

by Dr. Lakshyan Schanzer

My name is Lakshyan Schanzer. I have been practicing and teaching

yoga and meditation since 1971. I am also a psychologist and practice

a meditative approach to psychotherapy. This is my first writing

about my experiences with Nisargadatta Maharaj.

 

By 1978 I had been practicing and teaching for about 7 years

(primarily Integral Yoga) and had reached a `wall' in my practice. I

was having wonderful experiences/results on a daily basis. Yet, for

me, these experiences were just that: only experiences. Yes, they

were important and healing ones, bringing revelations and insights

into my history, release of deep feelings, or guidance about the

coming day or accurate premonitions about the future.

 

However, as I became accustomed to `pushing the buttons' that

generated these experiences, I began to ask myself: " Was there any

value beyond these temporary conditioning effects of regular

practice? That is, if we experience ourselves as the product of

conditioning, and if practice is just to create a `sattvic' body-mind

condition, does cultivating one condition over another give any real

freedom?

 

In spite of my pessimistic reasoning, of course I continued my

practice. Obviously it is better to condition yourself to have

positive life experiences rather than to have negative ones. Yet

because of my sense of truth or maybe because of a scientific bent, I

really wasn't satisfied in thinking that the result of practice was

just a kind of conditioning. I focused heavily on these kinds of

thoughts: Was I just `luckier' than someone who didn't practice? What

if my conditions changed so that I couldn't keep up this sadhana

practice (i.e. if my health or means of survival changed)? How would

my sattvic state really be any different than anyone else's non-

sattvic suffering? I began to ask my teachers these questions,

inquiring if something was lacking in my practice. Most really didn't

understand my problem. At best, the answer was: " Just practice more. "

 

I believe it was this kind of self-examination that led me to

Maharaj. I had already begun a career in integrating meditative

practice with the world of mental health and health psychology.

Interested in continuing my studies (especially regarding the

integration of yoga into health care settings) and hoping to take

these questions to some known or unknown guru, I planned a trip to

India for December 1978.

 

I arranged to visit various centers, ashrams, even hospitals, and of

course, gurus. I did not know that Nisargadatta even existed, let

alone that I would be directed to see him. Yet, within two days of my

arrival in Bombay one of the head monks (I think his name was Pierre)

in Swami Muktananada's ashram said: " Since my guru isn't here right

now, you really should meet a fully enlightened master. Here is his

address " .

 

What follows are some of my first impressions of my first meeting

with Maharaj that I kept as notes during the trip:

 

" The taxi driver was having trouble locating the address. Maharaj's

apartment was located at Ketwadi Street, a humble residential area,

not far from the prostitute district. Neighbors could not tell where

to find this Jnani Yogi, even though he had been residing and

teaching there for many years. Finally after finding it, one of

Maharaj's devotees spotted the taxi and was directing people upstairs

to a tiny (maybe 12 x 12 ft) room. There were about ten people

already sitting with a wiry little old man. Maharaj inspected each

person as they ascended the loft where he gave satsangh

 

As I sat down I felt a tremendous pressure of feeling around my

heart. I felt like crying. I decided I would just sit there and stay

with this feeling.

 

Maharaj sat there in dialogue with Mularpattan, a translator.

 

It was an open and lively discussion with Maharaj responding to

questions by the group.

 

The topic was about how the mind can be made to remain unidentified

with perception. The subject and discussion was so in tune with my

own thinking and my struggle to understand the effects of practice. I

was right at home. And in spite of my decision to sit still and

reflect, I found myself just jumping in, asking questions.

 

Sitting with Maharaj was a riot! There was so much fun and mirth in

his manner of expression, and the response of the group. I was

captivated by the energy around him.

 

At the end of one of the visits Maharaj asked: " How many of you have

understood what I have been saying? " A few of us would raise our

hands. To those he would say: " Then you need not come back. " Then he

announced: " And those of you who have not understood, you also should

not come back. " Finally he raised the question: " and who will be here

tomorrow? " Everyone would raise his or her hands!

 

 

There was something about the PLACE from which he spoke that was so

impressive intellectually and so attractive because of it's lucid,

frank, and spontaneous manner. I also had read Ramana Maharshi and

was drawn to his teachings. My own practice was along these analytic

lines. Yet here was a man who was constantly experiencing it.

 

 

 

Maharaj was the most unpretentious guru I have ever met. He chain-

smoked bheedis, Indian cigarettes.

 

He wore simple and sometimes slightly stained clothes and then would

joke about how he was well known for his elegant appearance.

 

In the mornings each would arrive at the small apartment with

offerings of fruit and flowers. I observed Maharaj decorating his

altar preparing for meditation and chatting with his wife. He would

exit for the bathroom and I could hear his sounds from there… He was

completely normal and human in his behavior.

 

Yet within this appearance of everyday normalcy, was the guru who was

in answering my questions about practice and conditioning with

uncanny precision, even though he did not speak English. Here are

some of my findings from near the end of the visits:

 

1. Body-Mind beingness is not reality, i.e. any subjective experience

or thought, or object, is time bound, is changeable and therefore by

definition not real.

 

2. What is real is permanent, changeless and is untainted by the

unreal. i.e. what is real can never combine with the unreal.

 

3. Reality is in the sense of `Self', and That is the reality we seek

in the practice of yoga.

 

4. Non-attachment begins right with perception. This is a more

profound grasp of non-attachment than the idea of non-attachment as

weaning oneself from desires. That is, subjective experience

(perception, thoughts, and feelings) is also a changeable object, and

therefore also not reality.

 

These points might appear as " preaching to the choir " . Yet for me,

they were the answer to my concerns about conditioning, and have

become the foundation of my approach to yoga. That is, `practice' is

not conditioning. Rather than creating a condition of bodymind,

practice is the removal of conditioning. Practice is really a

restoration, bringing one back the original, prior-to-conditioned

sense of self.

 

My experience with Maharaj was not always serene. One day a group of

disciples of one of the most popular guru's of the time had come for

satsangh. Maharaj took delight in challenging these students. Maharaj

boasted how good his talks were: " You'll never find anyone talking

like me! " I also observed him telling other students to " remember me

like Lord Krishna " as a part of their practice. Having sat with quite

a few gurus, my mind was shaken. Since when does a Jnani tell seekers

to worship him? Why this fascination to run down students of other

teachers? I left the satsangh feeling disgusted and disturbed.

 

The next morning I resolved to confront Maharaj. However wonderful I

felt about the points about the real and unreal, these doubts needed

to be cleared up! I asked Maharaj why he had said these things to the

visiting students. Maharaj said: " What I teach others is not for you

to use " . However, Maharaj also picked up on my anger. He said that if

I had such questions I should leave. People in the group were shocked.

 

Yet, something in me clicked. I saw Maharaj modeling being completely

non-attached. He was not actually asking me to leave (which I could

have, if I were attached to being angry about the perceived

hypocrisy). He was modeling not being at the mercy of any subjective

state. I thanked him, saying my speaking up was to be able to be

silent (i.e. with my silent self). Maharaj paused, seemingly taking

it in, and then went right on to the next questioner.

 

I felt another shift within myself, of letting go and feeling

completely in the spontaneous " Now " . My initial excitement of being

with this guru was back again and with more force of clarity.

 

This sense of spontaneity of presence was lasting. I felt I had

connected with some sense of source that the man we called Maharaj

was operating from. I remember another incident toward the end of my

stay with him that illustrates this. At one point Maharaj was

prodding people for questions. (He always seemed to want to engage

visitors from their sense of self.) He asked a fellow with a

beard: " You have a beard. You must be wise. Ask some questions! "

Absorbed in the sense of spontaneous source, I found my mouth opening

and saying: " The beard grows itself! Wisdom is in that spontaneous

being! " Maharaj seized on my comment: " That's exactly it! Every

event happens this way!

 

In all, from the beginning of my brief visit with Maharaj I felt

validated as a seeker, having found something that was never lost.

And for which I have been ever grateful.

 

Nice lttle memoir here......bob