Guest guest Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 I have woken like this many times before... Emptiness, nothingness... the head like vacuum... no thoughts... the body like not existing... weightless... floating... It is the feeling which is free of everything... It is free of problems, troubles, worries... It is also free of me... no agenda, no plan, no goal, no mission, nothing to do, nothing to not to do... the absence of Conceptualization... I put on my shoes... devoid of any mental sensation... and pretty much devoid of any physical sensation too... as if my hands were just some mechanical device... I come home and my daughter tells me something... I feel overflowing and tears come immediately to my eyes! I seem to be too sensitive to joy... My wife shouts at me and accuses me of something that is untrue and my back physically burns as if I have been hit! Neither my child's words nor my wife's shouts required any interpretation from me in order to have some effect on my *body* just as... the feeling of warm water against my skin *works* without me thinking about it! Just as feeling of Very Hot water or burning coal too work against my skin without me having to think about it! As if there is something more than just *words* that came out of my child's and wife's mouth... As if the love, anger and hate is some real energy... as if it is Only Now that I am able to *really* *feel* it... as if *feeling* them is not a matter of my *choice*... maybe, this is how they really *work*, maybe this is how they really *interact*! Maybe, it is just the *nature* of these *energies* and *body*... and as like everything else in the *nature*... my *body* too is bound by this nature and rule... as it is bound by the hunger, thirst and everything else... [Felt about 10 days back...] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 --- Arvind <adithya_comming a écrit : I have woken like this many times before... Emptiness, nothingness... the head like vacuum... no thoughts... the body like not existing... weightless... floating... It is the feeling which is free of everything... It is free of problems, troubles, worries... It is also free of me... no agenda, no plan, no goal, no mission, nothing to do, nothing to not to do... the absence of Conceptualization... I put on my shoes... devoid of any mental sensation... and pretty much devoid of any physical sensation too... as if my hands were just some mechanical device... I come home and my daughter tells me something... I feel overflowing and tears come immediately to my eyes! I seem to be too sensitive to joy... My wife shouts at me and accuses me of something that is untrue and my back physically burns as if I have been hit! Neither my child's words nor my wife's shouts required any interpretation from me in order to have some effect on my *body* just as... the feeling of warm water against my skin *works* without me thinking about it! Just as feeling of Very Hot water or burning coal too work against my skin without me having to think about it! As if there is something more than just *words* that came out of my child's and wife's mouth... As if the love, anger and hate is some real energy... as if it is Only Now that I am able to *really* *feel* it... as if *feeling* them is not a matter of my *choice*... maybe, this is how they really *work*, maybe this is how they really *interact*! Maybe, it is just the *nature* of these *energies* and *body*... and as like everything else in the *nature*... my *body* too is bound by this nature and rule... as it is bound by the hunger, thirst and everything else... [Felt about 10 days back...] Interesting. Almost a dreamstate, choiceless but so very acute. Patricia ** If you do not wish to receive individual emails, to change your subscription, sign in with your ID and go to Edit My Groups: /mygroups?edit=1 Under the Message Delivery option, choose " No Email " for the Nisargadatta group and click on Save Changes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 >>[Felt about 10 days back...] ... I don't only feel Very New, Pristine, Fresh... In fact, I feel like 'not existing'... Not only I have no worries, [mental] troubles, [mental] problems... I don't even have floating dreams, imaginations or other recycling memories... As if my *thinking* and *memory* has been reduced to the minimum... picking up the key, driving the car, parking the car, picking up the laptop bag... Other than those essential ones, I seem to have no real *thoughts*... not even *spiritual* ones!!! I am not concerned about *God*, *truth*, purpose of the universe, purpose of my life... that all seem to have pretty much died along with me... Pretty soon, I notice something else... My memory seem to not working as it used to be... I tend to forget things much more frequently than I used to... and, when they ask me something at work, I seem to have some *delay* as if I have to *consciously* remember and fetch something... where before, it seemed to have been *automatic*!!! ...and, I think, *memory* is perhaps only formed by the *repletion* of *thoughts*! ...and, I remember why *spirituality*, so-called *awakening*, *enlightenment* is so *close to home* to me! Why it is not just a matter of *curiosity* and *guessing* why it is so *real* to me and why it is so close to *flesh*... If I was to really continue this way, not only I might literally fall out of family, profession and society in fact, I wouldn't even be able to live as a *spiritual* teacher or just a *spiritual* person... I don't even have any *spiritual* thought... nor do I have any question, answer, guess or speculation about... *God*... Nor I have any concern about... *who am I??*!!! And, I remember *how much* of our *lives* [including *spiritual* parts] are just based on *thoughts*!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 --- Adithya K <adithya_comming a écrit : >>[Felt about 10 days back...] ... I don't only feel Very New, Pristine, Fresh... In fact, I feel like 'not existing'... Not only I have no worries, [mental] troubles, [mental] problems... I don't even have floating dreams, imaginations or other recycling memories... As if my *thinking* and *memory* has been reduced to the minimum... picking up the key, driving the car, parking the car, picking up the laptop bag... Other than those essential ones, I seem to have no real *thoughts*... not even *spiritual* ones!!! I am not concerned about *God*, *truth*, purpose of the universe, purpose of my life... that all seem to have pretty much died along with me... Pretty soon, I notice something else... My memory seem to not working as it used to be... I tend to forget things much more frequently than I used to... and, when they ask me something at work, I seem to have some *delay* as if I have to *consciously* remember and fetch something... where before, it seemed to have been *automatic*!!! ...and, I think, *memory* is perhaps only formed by the *repletion* of *thoughts*! ...and, I remember why *spirituality*, so-called *awakening*, *enlightenment* is so *close to home* to me! Why it is not just a matter of *curiosity* and *guessing* why it is so *real* to me and why it is so close to *flesh*... If I was to really continue this way, not only I might literally fall out of family, profession and society in fact, I wouldn't even be able to live as a *spiritual* teacher or just a *spiritual* person... I don't even have any *spiritual* thought... nor do I have any question, answer, guess or speculation about... *God*... Nor I have any concern about... *who am I??*!!! And, I remember *how much* of our *lives* [including *spiritual* parts] are just based on *thoughts*!!!! ......................................... I hope it is all well for you. It feels a little like total disincarnation. How far can you go w/that ? P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 I notice that I am able to *last* in love- making for very, very long time... It seems to be kind of unlimited... but, I also notice that I have lost the *need* for it! It doesn't take me to any place higher or lower... I remain pretty much same place that I am... Even orgasms seems to pass like a 'no event'... During lovemaking, my gorgeous wife asks me, " how do you feel? " I say, Very good... which is kind of true but sex is hardly playing any part in that *feeling good*! I pay attention to different organs involved in the act... I try to look for any happening physical sensation... And, I notice that other some warmth... I am feeling pretty much feel no real sensation... ... I think, so even the *joy of sex* is pretty much my own creation... the product of my own thinking and imagination! First imagine it to be very joyous, a source of joy and then I imagine *having* it! Other than that, it seems... mostly Empty! ... One thing I notice though is in spite of knowing this so-called " reality " of sex, I still feel natural attraction towards opposite sex... as if that too is part of my Very Basic nature and as if it operates just out of *nature* and without needing my *permission*! I wonder if I TRULY don't *need* sex anymore... what is this *attraction* about??? I try to explain to myself, perhaps, the forces of nature and *evolution* operate at a level far below my *conscious* *choice*! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Nisargadatta , Adithya K <adithya_comming wrote: > > > I notice that I am able to *last* in love- > making for very, very long time... > > It seems to be kind of unlimited... > > but, I also notice that I have lost > the *need* for it! > > > It doesn't take me to any place higher > or lower... I remain pretty much same > place that I am... > > Even orgasms seems to pass like a 'no > event'... > > > During lovemaking, my gorgeous wife > asks me, " how do you feel? " > > I say, Very good... which is kind of > true but sex is hardly playing any part > in that *feeling good*! > > > I pay attention to different organs > involved in the act... I try to look > for any happening physical sensation... > > And, I notice that other some > warmth... I am feeling pretty much feel > no real sensation... > > ... > > I think, so even the *joy of sex* is > pretty much my own creation... the > product of my own thinking and > imagination! First imagine it to be > very joyous, a source of joy and then I > imagine *having* it! > > Other than that, it seems... mostly > Empty! > > ... > > One thing I notice though is in spite > of knowing this so-called " reality " of > sex, I still feel natural attraction > towards opposite sex... > > as if that too is part of my Very > Basic nature and as if it operates just > out of *nature* and without needing my > *permission*! > > I wonder if I TRULY don't *need* sex > anymore... what is this *attraction* > about??? > > I try to explain to myself, perhaps, > the forces of nature and *evolution* > operate at a level far below my > *conscious* *choice*! > > > It's like after masturbation.....it's the warm, soft, and cuddly part afterwards that will enlighten you even deeper, far below the level of your conscious choice, even below your bellybutton! That choice is so unconscious even bees do it, all the animals and trees do it. Join the crowd.....everyone is THERE in the BEYOND of themselves and all their choices or NEEDS. Good to see an Avatar on the Rise!(but whoo needs it anyway) ......bob > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 --- Adithya K <adithya_comming a écrit : >>[Felt about 10 days back...] ... I don't only feel Very New, Pristine, Fresh... In fact, I feel like 'not existing'... Not only I have no worries, [mental] troubles, [mental] problems... I don't even have floating dreams, imaginations or other recycling memories... As if my *thinking* and *memory* has been reduced to the minimum... picking up the key, driving the car, parking the car, picking up the laptop bag... Other than those essential ones, I seem to have no real *thoughts*... not even *spiritual* ones!!! I am not concerned about *God*, *truth*, purpose of the universe, purpose of my life... that all seem to have pretty much died along with me... Pretty soon, I notice something else... My memory seem to not working as it used to be... I tend to forget things much more frequently than I used to... and, when they ask me something at work, I seem to have some *delay* as if I have to *consciously* remember and fetch something... where before, it seemed to have been *automatic*!!! ...and, I think, *memory* is perhaps only formed by the *repletion* of *thoughts*! ...and, I remember why *spirituality*, so-called *awakening*, *enlightenment* is so *close to home* to me! Why it is not just a matter of *curiosity* and *guessing* why it is so *real* to me and why it is so close to *flesh*... If I was to really continue this way, not only I might literally fall out of family, profession and society in fact, I wouldn't even be able to live as a *spiritual* teacher or just a *spiritual* person... I don't even have any *spiritual* thought... nor do I have any question, answer, guess or speculation about... *God*... Nor I have any concern about... *who am I??*!!! And, I remember *how much* of our *lives* [including *spiritual* parts] are just based on *thoughts*!!!! ................................................. I don`t feel too good about your e-mail. Instincts! I have a tendencie to float also but have to be carefull not too float too much. My dad used to try to make me eat red meat...yeuk! Don`t go to high, do a little yoga, go plant some lavender and rosemary in the garden, Spend time w/your familie, Chew a piece of clay... but stay with us. As long as you possess a bodily existance, you need to be here also and function...like a bridge...over troubled water. Patricia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 .... I had woken like this many times before... First time that it has happened and I had *noticed* it... I was literally Blown Away! It was impossible for me to comprehend it, understand it or to figure out what had happened! I also didn't know many people that I could ask this about. Few that I approached and asked in person were not able to really help explain it. Few thought I was talking something crazy... few [who didn't know me in person] thought; maybe I was lying or making it up... Fearing that this might be very well be symptom of some real impending *physical* death... I bought term life insurance! I was afraid to fail the tests and to discover that I was suffering from some terminal disease. But to my relief, I passed it with flying colors! ... However, few others that I had talked to... had told me that I was *awakened* and this is how *awakening* was supposed to be and that it might indeed take some time to really *settle down*! I don't [still] really knew what *being enlightened* really mean... or whether it was right for me to make any claim to be the *enlightened* one, the *special* one... but, I also noticed that it will be a lie to *pretend* that I am *not enlightened*! It will be a lie to *pretend* to be *waiting* for something to *happen*! It will be a lie to say that nothingness, void, emptiness, formlessness... hasn't happened! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 --- Adithya K <adithya_comming a écrit : I notice that I am able to *last* in love- making for very, very long time... It seems to be kind of unlimited... but, I also notice that I have lost the *need* for it! It doesn't take me to any place higher or lower... I remain pretty much same place that I am... Even orgasms seems to pass like a 'no event'... During lovemaking, my gorgeous wife asks me, " how do you feel? " I say, Very good... which is kind of true but sex is hardly playing any part in that *feeling good*! I pay attention to different organs involved in the act... I try to look for any happening physical sensation... And, I notice that other some warmth... I am feeling pretty much feel no real sensation... ... I think, so even the *joy of sex* is pretty much my own creation... the product of my own thinking and imagination! First imagine it to be very joyous, a source of joy and then I imagine *having* it! Other than that, it seems... mostly Empty! ... One thing I notice though is in spite of knowing this so-called " reality " of sex, I still feel natural attraction towards opposite sex... as if that too is part of my Very Basic nature and as if it operates just out of *nature* and without needing my *permission*! I wonder if I TRULY don't *need* sex anymore... what is this *attraction* about??? I try to explain to myself, perhaps, the forces of nature and *evolution* operate at a level far below my *conscious* *choice*! ................................... if light didn`t attract darkness there would be no more natural cycles. I agree w/ what you say <about the forces of nature and evolution operating at a level far below conscious choice.> And for someone that is not sure how to communicate a state of being, you are doing very very well. Patricia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 >> However, few others that I had talked to... told me that I was *awakened* and this is how *awakening* was supposed to be and that it might indeed take some time to really *settle down*! ... In general, I was kind of happy to know that as I had imagined, read and heard that awakening was a very good thing... even though I had considered it kind of *impossible* to happen to me! However, the *burning back*, and kind of extreme sensitivity to emotions that I felt was not part of the descriptions that I had read [except in the teachings of Nirmala Devi whom didn't value that great deal]! Feeling of *no body* too was mostly missing in those descriptions, except in Ramana's whom I started reading sometime later... ... But, what was the real surprise to me was that... I still had capacity to create *ego*!!! I still had capacity to *suffer* and create mental pain... My immediate realities were totally transformed... but, I still had ability to create pain and suffering that I was able to create before... This was a real " news " to me as the way I had understood what I had read about enlightenment was that... with enlightenment, awakening one was to *permanently* lose the capacity of *ego*! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 --- Adithya K <adithya_comming a écrit : .... I had woken like this many times before... First time that it has happened and I had *noticed* it... I was literally Blown Away! It was impossible for me to comprehend it, understand it or to figure out what had happened! I also didn't know many people that I could ask this about. Few that I approached and asked in person were not able to really help explain it. Few thought I was talking something crazy... few [who didn't know me in person] thought; maybe I was lying or making it up... Fearing that this might be very well be symptom of some real impending *physical* death... I bought term life insurance! I was afraid to fail the tests and to discover that I was suffering from some terminal disease. But to my relief, I passed it with flying colors! ... However, few others that I had talked to... had told me that I was *awakened* and this is how *awakening* was supposed to be and that it might indeed take some time to really *settle down*! I don't [still] really knew what *being enlightened* really mean... or whether it was right for me to make any claim to be the *enlightened* one, the *special* one... but, I also noticed that it will be a lie to *pretend* that I am *not enlightened*! It will be a lie to *pretend* to be *waiting* for something to *happen*! It will be a lie to say that nothingness, void, emptiness, formlessness... hasn't happened! .................................................... <It will be a lie to *pretend* to be *waiting* for something to *happen*!> AAAHHH! This is of gold Arvind, the moment we stop to wait for something to happen, that moment is the Now. Birth has happened. Patricia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 --- Adithya K <adithya_comming a écrit : >> However, few others that I had talked to... told me that I was *awakened* and this is how *awakening* was supposed to be and that it might indeed take some time to really *settle down*! ... In general, I was kind of happy to know that as I had imagined, read and heard that awakening was a very good thing... even though I had considered it kind of *impossible* to happen to me! However, the *burning back*, and kind of extreme sensitivity to emotions that I felt was not part of the descriptions that I had read [except in the teachings of Nirmala Devi whom didn't value that great deal]! Feeling of *no body* too was mostly missing in those descriptions, except in Ramana's whom I started reading sometime later... ... But, what was the real surprise to me was that... I still had capacity to create *ego*!!! I still had capacity to *suffer* and create mental pain... My immediate realities were totally transformed... but, I still had ability to create pain and suffering that I was able to create before... This was a real " news " to me as the way I had understood what I had read about enlightenment was that... with enlightenment, awakening one was to *permanently* lose the capacity of *ego*! ................................................ Such precious sharing, thank-you for that, what a queen sense of observation you possess. re: with enlightenment, awakening one was to *permanently* lose the capacity of *ego*!. I see that there is a progressive loss of ego capacitie, don`t you? Also vitality takes a different turn, not so earthy, much lighter, more delicate..very vibrant. Patricia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 > --- Adithya K <adithya_comming a écrit : > > > > >>[Felt about 10 days back...] > > > ... > > I don't only feel Very New, Pristine, > Fresh... > > In fact, I feel like 'not existing'... > > > Not only I have no worries, [mental] > troubles, [mental] problems... > I don't even have floating dreams, > imaginations or other recycling > memories... > > As if my *thinking* and *memory* has > been reduced to the minimum... > picking up the key, driving the car, > parking the car, picking up the laptop > bag... > > Other than those essential ones, I > seem to have no real *thoughts*... not > even *spiritual* ones!!! > > I am not concerned about *God*, > *truth*, purpose of the universe, > purpose of my life... > that all seem to have pretty much died > along with me... > > > > > Pretty soon, I notice something else... > > My memory seem to not working as it > used to be... > > I tend to forget things much more > frequently than I used to... > > and, when they ask me something at > work, I seem to have some *delay* as if > I have to *consciously* remember and > fetch something... > > where before, it seemed to have been > *automatic*!!! > > > ...and, I think, *memory* is perhaps > only formed by the *repletion* of > *thoughts*! > > ...and, I remember why *spirituality*, > so-called *awakening*, *enlightenment* > is so *close to home* to me! Why it is > not just a matter of *curiosity* and > *guessing* why it is so *real* to me > and why it is so close to *flesh*... > > > If I was to really continue this way, > not only I might literally fall out of > family, profession and society in fact, > I wouldn't even be able to live as a > *spiritual* teacher or just a > *spiritual* person... > > I don't even have any *spiritual* > thought... > > nor do I have any question, answer, > guess or speculation about... *God*... > > Nor I have any concern about... *who > am I??*!!! > > > And, I remember *how much* of our > *lives* [including *spiritual* parts] > are just based on *thoughts*!!!! > You´ll be OK again, soon. You just had an overdosis of spiritual reading-matter ;-) Len Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 [...] > > You´ll be OK again, soon. > You just had an overdosis of spiritual reading-matter ;-) > > Len > I am still here, Len! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 Nisargadatta , " Arvind " <adithya_comming wrote: > > [...] > > > > > You´ll be OK again, soon. > > You just had an overdosis of spiritual reading-matter ;-) > > > > Len > > > > I am still here, Len! Sure. Len Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2006 Report Share Posted April 7, 2006 In a message dated 4/7/2006 3:51:48 PM Pacific Daylight Time, Nisargadatta writes: Fri, 7 Apr 2006 15:35:43 -0700 (PDT) Adithya K <adithya_comming Re: I have woken like this many times before... .... I had woken like this many times before... First time that it has happened and I had *noticed* it... I was literally Blown Away! It was impossible for me to comprehend it, understand it or to figure out what had happened! I also didn't know many people that I could ask this about. Few that I approached and asked in person were not able to really help explain it. Few thought I was talking something crazy... few [who didn't know me in person] thought; maybe I was lying or making it up... Fearing that this might be very well be symptom of some real impending *physical* death... I bought term life insurance! I was afraid to fail the tests and to discover that I was suffering from some terminal disease. But to my relief, I passed it with flying colors! .... However, few others that I had talked to... had told me that I was *awakened* and this is how *awakening* was supposed to be and that it might indeed take some time to really *settle down*! I don't [still] really knew what *being enlightened* really mean... or whether it was right for me to make any claim to be the *enlightened* one, the *special* one... but, I also noticed that it will be a lie to *pretend* that I am *not enlightened*! It will be a lie to *pretend* to be *waiting* for something to *happen*! It will be a lie to say that nothingness, void, emptiness, formlessness... hasn't happened! But, my friend, has the knowingness of Oneness occurred, without a shadow of doubt? Has nondualistic love, joy and peace occurred that can only be shaken in the illusory egoic identity that is clearly seen as false? Is it more complicated than that? Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2006 Report Share Posted April 8, 2006 Nisargadatta , OConnor Patricia <gdtige wrote: > > > --- Arvind <adithya_comming a écrit : > > > > I have woken like this many times > before... > > Emptiness, nothingness... > > the head like vacuum... no thoughts... > > the body like not existing... > weightless... floating... > > > It is the feeling which is free of > everything... > > It is free of problems, troubles, > worries... > > It is also free of me... no agenda, no > plan, no goal, > no mission, nothing to do, nothing to > not to do... the absence of > Conceptualization... > > I put on my shoes... devoid of any > mental sensation... and pretty much > devoid of any physical sensation too... > as if my hands were just some mechanical > device... > > I come home and my daughter tells me > something... I feel overflowing and > tears come immediately to my eyes! I > seem to be too sensitive to joy... > > > My wife shouts at me and accuses me of > something that is untrue and my back > physically burns as if I have been hit! > > Neither my child's words nor my wife's > shouts required any interpretation from > me in order to have some effect on my > *body* just as... the feeling of warm > water against my skin *works* without > me thinking about it! Just as feeling > of Very Hot water or burning coal too > work against my skin without me having > to think about it! > > As if there is something more than > just *words* that came out of my > child's and wife's mouth... > > As if the love, anger and hate is some > real energy... > > as if it is Only Now that I am able to > *really* *feel* it... > > as if *feeling* them is not a matter > of my *choice*... maybe, this is how > they really *work*, maybe this is how > they really *interact*! Maybe, it is > just the *nature* of these *energies* > and *body*... and as like everything > else in the *nature*... my *body* too > is bound by this nature and rule... as > it is bound by the hunger, thirst and > everything else... > > [Felt about 10 days back...] > > > Interesting. > Almost a dreamstate, choiceless but so very acute. > Patricia > acute choicelessness... how can one be so vibrantly alive so bursting with life and wonder if there is choice? choice is contemplation of choice [i.e. what is choice if no contemplation, if the choosing is automatic?] and contemplation of choice is itself a narrowing... a withdrawing from... in order to contemplate... when life is full, dynamic open, it just is... it is an incredibly intense choicelessness. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2006 Report Share Posted April 8, 2006 Nisargadatta , OConnor Patricia <gdtige wrote: > > > --- Adithya K <adithya_comming a écrit : > > > > > I notice that I am able to *last* in love- > making for very, very long time... > > It seems to be kind of unlimited... > > but, I also notice that I have lost > the *need* for it! > > > It doesn't take me to any place higher > or lower... I remain pretty much same > place that I am... > > Even orgasms seems to pass like a 'no > event'... > > > During lovemaking, my gorgeous wife > asks me, " how do you feel? " > > I say, Very good... which is kind of > true but sex is hardly playing any part > in that *feeling good*! > > > I pay attention to different organs > involved in the act... I try to look > for any happening physical sensation... > > And, I notice that other some > warmth... I am feeling pretty much feel > no real sensation... > > ... > > I think, so even the *joy of sex* is > pretty much my own creation... the > product of my own thinking and > imagination! First imagine it to be > very joyous, a source of joy and then I > imagine *having* it! > > Other than that, it seems... mostly > Empty! > > ... > > One thing I notice though is in spite > of knowing this so-called " reality " of > sex, I still feel natural attraction > towards opposite sex... > > as if that too is part of my Very > Basic nature and as if it operates just > out of *nature* and without needing my > *permission*! > > I wonder if I TRULY don't *need* sex > anymore... what is this *attraction* > about??? > > I try to explain to myself, perhaps, > the forces of nature and *evolution* > operate at a level far below my > *conscious* *choice*! > .................................. > if light didn`t attract darkness there would be no > more natural cycles. > I agree w/ what you say <about the forces of nature > and evolution operating at a level far below conscious > choice.> > And for someone that is not sure how to communicate > a state of being, you are doing very very well. Yes, and *differently* than before... now so much more *direct*. Bill > Patricia > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2006 Report Share Posted April 8, 2006 In a message dated 4/8/2006 4:37:15 AM Pacific Daylight Time, Nisargadatta writes: Sat, 08 Apr 2006 11:14:34 -0000 " billrishel " <illusyn Re: I have woken like this many times before... Nisargadatta , OConnor Patricia <gdtige wrote: > > > --- Arvind <adithya_comming a écrit : > > > > I have woken like this many times > before... > > Emptiness, nothingness... > > the head like vacuum... no thoughts... > > the body like not existing... > weightless... floating... > > > It is the feeling which is free of > everything... > > It is free of problems, troubles, > worries... > > It is also free of me... no agenda, no > plan, no goal, > no mission, nothing to do, nothing to > not to do... the absence of > Conceptualization... > > I put on my shoes... devoid of any > mental sensation... and pretty much > devoid of any physical sensation too... > as if my hands were just some mechanical > device... > > I come home and my daughter tells me > something... I feel overflowing and > tears come immediately to my eyes! I > seem to be too sensitive to joy... > > > My wife shouts at me and accuses me of > something that is untrue and my back > physically burns as if I have been hit! > > Neither my child's words nor my wife's > shouts required any interpretation from > me in order to have some effect on my > *body* just as... the feeling of warm > water against my skin *works* without > me thinking about it! Just as feeling > of Very Hot water or burning coal too > work against my skin without me having > to think about it! > > As if there is something more than > just *words* that came out of my > child's and wife's mouth... > > As if the love, anger and hate is some > real energy... > > as if it is Only Now that I am able to > *really* *feel* it... > > as if *feeling* them is not a matter > of my *choice*... maybe, this is how > they really *work*, maybe this is how > they really *interact*! Maybe, it is > just the *nature* of these *energies* > and *body*... and as like everything > else in the *nature*... my *body* too > is bound by this nature and rule... as > it is bound by the hunger, thirst and > everything else... > > [Felt about 10 days back...] > > > Interesting. > Almost a dreamstate, choiceless but so very acute. > Patricia > acute choicelessness... how can one be so vibrantly alive so bursting with life and wonder if there is choice? choice is contemplation of choice [i.e. what is choice if no contemplation, if the choosing is automatic?] and contemplation of choice is itself a narrowing... a withdrawing from... in order to contemplate... when life is full, dynamic open, it just is... it is an incredibly intense choicelessness. Bill Contemplation is not proof that volitional choice is being made. If a c omputer computes before producing a result, can we say the computer made a volitional choice, or was it's 'choice' entirely predictable before hand? (i.e. choiceless.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2006 Report Share Posted April 9, 2006 Nisargadatta , ADHHUB wrote: > > > In a message dated 4/8/2006 4:37:15 AM Pacific Daylight Time, > Nisargadatta writes: > > Sat, 08 Apr 2006 11:14:34 -0000 > " billrishel " <illusyn > Re: I have woken like this many times before... > > Nisargadatta , OConnor Patricia <gdtige@> > wrote: > > > > > > --- Arvind <adithya_comming@> a écrit : > > > > > > > > I have woken like this many times > > before... > > > > Emptiness, nothingness... > > > > the head like vacuum... no thoughts... > > > > the body like not existing... > > weightless... floating... > > > > > > It is the feeling which is free of > > everything... > > > > It is free of problems, troubles, > > worries... > > > > It is also free of me... no agenda, no > > plan, no goal, > > no mission, nothing to do, nothing to > > not to do... the absence of > > Conceptualization... > > > > I put on my shoes... devoid of any > > mental sensation... and pretty much > > devoid of any physical sensation too... > > as if my hands were just some mechanical > > device... > > > > I come home and my daughter tells me > > something... I feel overflowing and > > tears come immediately to my eyes! I > > seem to be too sensitive to joy... > > > > > > My wife shouts at me and accuses me of > > something that is untrue and my back > > physically burns as if I have been hit! > > > > Neither my child's words nor my wife's > > shouts required any interpretation from > > me in order to have some effect on my > > *body* just as... the feeling of warm > > water against my skin *works* without > > me thinking about it! Just as feeling > > of Very Hot water or burning coal too > > work against my skin without me having > > to think about it! > > > > As if there is something more than > > just *words* that came out of my > > child's and wife's mouth... > > > > As if the love, anger and hate is some > > real energy... > > > > as if it is Only Now that I am able to > > *really* *feel* it... > > > > as if *feeling* them is not a matter > > of my *choice*... maybe, this is how > > they really *work*, maybe this is how > > they really *interact*! Maybe, it is > > just the *nature* of these *energies* > > and *body*... and as like everything > > else in the *nature*... my *body* too > > is bound by this nature and rule... as > > it is bound by the hunger, thirst and > > everything else... > > > > [Felt about 10 days back...] > > > > > > Interesting. > > Almost a dreamstate, choiceless but so very acute. > > Patricia > > > > acute choicelessness... > > how can one be so vibrantly alive > so bursting with life and wonder > if there is choice? > > choice is contemplation of choice > [i.e. what is choice if no contemplation, > if the choosing is automatic?] > and contemplation of choice is itself > a narrowing... a withdrawing from... > in order to contemplate... > > when life is full, dynamic open, > it just is... > > it is an incredibly intense choicelessness. > > > Bill > > > > Contemplation is not proof that volitional choice is being made. If a c > omputer computes before producing a result, can we say the computer made a > volitional choice, Sorry, but must say.... irrelevant. Bill or was it's 'choice' entirely predictable before hand? (i.e. > choiceless.) > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.