Guest guest Posted April 11, 2006 Report Share Posted April 11, 2006 .... The best advice that I heard from a teacher on these issues was from Byron Katie! When replying to someone who complained of not being loved by his parents, Katie said: How do you know, your parents should NOT have loved you? ...Because, they didn't! When replying to someone whose husband was a womanizer and slept with other woman, Katie said: How do you know that your husband SHOULD sleep with other women? ...because, he Does!!!* She further says: --------- Reality is my God because it RULES! --------- I am a Lover of Reality! --------- When you fight with Reality, you lose... but, only 100% of the times! --------- How do I know I don't need your approval... because, I don't have it! --------- How do I know that I need your approval when I have it... because, I already have it! The way I understand it is we NEVER really get to " choose " Reality! But, with some awareness and presence... we do get to choose our *relationship* with it! There is one kind of *relationship* that we choose... that brings us peace! There is another that creates More Pain and Suffering! Neither can really change that which has ALREADY happened! Yet, our *thinking* about what has already happened can [and DOES] greatly change our Present Moment Reality that we experience Now! Second thing that I learnt from this is... many times, our *suffering* is caused by thoughts like... *he shouldn't have done it*, *she shouldn't do it*, *they shouldn't have done it*! But, the reality is THAT we don't really get to *think* and make decision for *others*! He, she, they... do whatever they do irrespective of what I *think* that they, he, she *should* have done [or, should do]! *Thinking for others* doesn't really work and in words of Katie, doesn't leave ANYBODY *HOME* to think about... *what I should do*, *what I would like to do*, *what I would love to do NOW*, *what I would enjoy doing now*, *what I would choose to do NOW*! When I ask these questions... I find out that I wouldn't really like to spend my time *thinking* what *others* should or should NOT have done... [because, in reality, others ONLY do what they do irrespective of what I think they should do [or should have done]]! When I ask these questions... I find out I will rather spend my time doing what I like, enjoy, love doing NOW and let others *think* what they think, do what they do... Sometimes... I might find it necessary to do something that involves others such as spending time with a person I greatly enjoy spending time with or divorcing someone whom I find careless, irresponsible and quarrelsome or ... filing a case [or do whatever else I find needed] against someone whom I find criminal... yet, I do it because... I know this is what *I* *SHOULD* be doing... and, I understand that what they do or *have done* is strictly *their* business! I ONLY focus on doing what I think... *I should be doing*! and, that lets EVERYONE live their own life and be responsible for their own *thoughts* and actions! I am NOT going to *waste* my own time *thinking* what someone else *should* be doing or *should have* done! That is NONE of my business... and, doing that ONLY creates pain! I would rather be *Free* and just think *what I should be doing* and focus ONLY on doing *what I should be doing*! ---- *Now, if you want to live with someone who is monogamous and only sleeps with his wife... you can choose to marry a different person. But, doing that doesn’t need to be based on the FIGHT with the *Reality* which is *already* the case! You can love the man and feel happy that he is doing what he *should* be doing [and possibly, is doing what makes him happy] and yet, choose to leave him and live with a man who is monogamous because, you know... that is what you *should* be doing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2006 Report Share Posted April 11, 2006 Nisargadatta , Adithya K <adithya_comming wrote: > > ... > > The best advice that I heard from a > teacher on these issues was from Byron > Katie! When replying to someone who > complained of not being loved by his > parents, Katie said: > > How do you know, your parents should > NOT have loved you? ...Because, they > didn't! > > When replying to someone whose husband > was a womanizer and slept with other > woman, Katie said: > > How do you know that your husband > SHOULD sleep with other women? > ...because, he Does!!!* > > > She further says: > > --------- Reality is my God because it > RULES! > > --------- I am a Lover of Reality! > > --------- When you fight with Reality, > you lose... but, only 100% of the times! > > --------- How do I know I don't need > your approval... because, I don't have > it! > > --------- How do I know that I need > your approval when I have it... > because, I already have it! > > > The way I understand it is we NEVER > really get to " choose " Reality! But, > with some awareness and presence... we > do get to choose our *relationship* > with it! > > There is one kind of *relationship* > that we choose... that brings us peace! > > There is another that creates More > Pain and Suffering! > > Neither can really change that which > has ALREADY happened! Yet, our > *thinking* about what has already > happened can [and DOES] greatly change > our Present Moment Reality that we > experience Now! > > > Second thing that I learnt from this > is... > > many times, our *suffering* is caused > by thoughts like... *he shouldn't have > done it*, *she shouldn't do it*, *they > shouldn't have done it*! > > But, the reality is THAT we don't > really get to *think* and make decision > for *others*! He, she, they... do > whatever they do irrespective of what I > *think* that they, he, she *should* > have done [or, should do]! > > *Thinking for others* doesn't really > work and in words of Katie, doesn't > leave ANYBODY *HOME* to think about... > *what I should do*, *what I would like > to do*, *what I would love to do NOW*, > *what I would enjoy doing now*, *what I > would choose to do NOW*! > > When I ask these questions... I find > out that I wouldn't really like to > spend my time *thinking* what *others* > should or should NOT have done... > [because, in reality, others ONLY do > what they do irrespective of what I > think they should do [or should have > done]]! > > When I ask these questions... I find > out I will rather spend my time doing > what I like, enjoy, love doing NOW and > let others *think* what they think, do > what they do... > > Sometimes... I might find it necessary to do > something that involves others such as > spending time with a person I greatly > enjoy spending time with or divorcing > someone whom I find careless, > irresponsible and quarrelsome or ... > filing a case [or do whatever else I find > needed] against someone whom I > find criminal... > > > yet, I do it because... I know this is > what *I* *SHOULD* be doing... > > and, I understand that what they do or > *have done* is strictly *their* business! > > > I ONLY focus on doing what I think... > *I should be doing*! > > > and, that lets EVERYONE live their > own life and be responsible for their > own *thoughts* and actions! > > I am NOT going to *waste* my own time > *thinking* what someone else *should* > be doing or *should have* done! > > That is NONE of my business... > and, doing that ONLY creates pain! > > > I would rather be *Free* and just think > *what I should be doing* and focus ONLY > on doing *what I should be doing*! > > > > ---- > > *Now, if you want to live with someone > who is monogamous and only sleeps with > his wife... you can choose to marry a > different person. But, doing that doesn't > need to be based on the FIGHT with the > *Reality* which is *already* the case! > > You can love the man and feel happy that > he is doing what he *should* be doing [and > possibly, is doing what makes him happy] and yet, > choose to leave him and live with a man > who is monogamous because, you know... > that is what you *should* be doing! > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2006 Report Share Posted April 11, 2006 [...] > >hello Adithya ...have you seen the video of the dialogue between > Byron Katie and ug Krishnamurti available as streaming Real Player on > the ugK website? Just curious. > ......bob Yes, Bob... I have! Regards, ac. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2006 Report Share Posted April 11, 2006 Nisargadatta , " Arvind " <adithya_comming wrote: > > [...] > > > >hello Adithya ...have you seen the video of the dialogue between > > Byron Katie and ug Krishnamurti available as streaming Real Player > on > > the ugK website? Just curious. > > ......bob > > Yes, Bob... I have! > > Regards, > ac. > that's great ac. good for you and good for me.and good for byron and something else for ug. (:-o)----- ....bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2006 Report Share Posted April 11, 2006 Nisargadatta , " Bob N. " <Roberibus111 wrote: > > Nisargadatta , " Arvind " <adithya_comming@> > wrote: > > > > [...] > > > > > >hello Adithya ...have you seen the video of the dialogue between > > > Byron Katie and ug Krishnamurti available as streaming Real Player > > on > > > the ugK website? Just curious. > > > ......bob > > > > Yes, Bob... I have! > > > > Regards, > > ac. > > > that's great ac. good for you and good for me.and good for byron and > something else for ug. > (:-o)----- > ....bob > Yes. I think I understand what you mean here! Regards, ac. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2006 Report Share Posted April 11, 2006 Nisargadatta , " Arvind " <adithya_comming wrote: > > Nisargadatta , " Bob N. " <Roberibus111@> > wrote: > > > > Nisargadatta , " Arvind " <adithya_comming@> > > wrote: > > > > > > [...] > > > > > > > >hello Adithya ...have you seen the video of the dialogue > between > > > > Byron Katie and ug Krishnamurti available as streaming Real > Player > > > on > > > > the ugK website? Just curious. > > > > ......bob > > > > > > Yes, Bob... I have! > > > > > > Regards, > > > ac. > > > > > that's great ac. good for you and good for me.and good for > byron and > > something else for ug. > > (:-o)----- > > ....bob > > > > Yes. I think I understand what you mean here! > > Regards, > ac. > ;-) .....bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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