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In a message dated 4/17/2006 1:23:01 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

Nisargadatta writes:

 

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 16:05:56 EDT

epston

Krishnamruti & Self Love

 

In a message dated 4/17/2006 12:48:56 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

ADHHUB writes:

 

>

>

> In a message dated 4/17/2006 3:37:31 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

> Nisargadatta writes:

>

> Mon, 17 Apr 2006 00:50:19 EDT

> epston

> Re: Krishnamruti -Bad Teaching

>

> In a message dated 4/16/2006 9:03:29 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

> ADHHUB

> writes:

>

> > Sun, 16 Apr 2006 22:08:31 EDT

> > epston

> > Krishnamruti -Bad Teaching

> >

> >Love is something which the mind can not possibly

> >>conceive. Love is something which cannot be formulated. And without

> >>love, you become related; without love, you marry. Then, in that

> >>marriage, you " adjust yourselves " to each other. Lovely phrase! You

> >>adjust yourselves to each other, which is again an intellectual

> > >process, is it not? .'' Krishnamurti.

> >

> >L.E: I'm sure this makes sense to some of you, but not to me. After

> all,

> >

> >nazism and racial hatred made sense to millions as well as the

> inquisition.

> >

> >Of

> >course that's a very different issue, but no matter how ignorant and

> > hateful,

> >many people will accept and advocate it. He leaves no room for

ordinary

> >experience. Why does he say, " without love, you marry. " How many

> >newlyweds

> > would

> >accept an idea like that? Most people who marry, love each other and

> don't

> >

> >just " adjust. " And then there is getting along with an intimate

partner

> >who

> >

> >has their own personality and needs, so of course there is adjustment.

 

> >Adjustment to leaving single life and living with another. Why does he

> >find

> >fault

> > with that?

> >He says, 'lovely phrase, " but its his phrase unless he read it

somewhere

> >and

> >finds fault with naturally adjusting to living with another. And he

says

>

> >it

> > is an intellectural process, and uses the negative for, 'is it not. "

> Well,

> >

> >no

> >it's not. Living with another is an emotional process, an accepting

> >process,

> >a loving process. To say it's an " intellectual " process shows me, he

> knows

> >

> >nothing about living with someone you love, but he's down on it,

> >disapproves

> >and

> >is critical as usual.

> >I object to his advice and find it faulty and insensitive. If you like

> it

> >fine, there's something for everyone, but this teaching is not for me.

 

> > " Even if

> >the whole world did agree, there's nothing to hold onto in this

reality:

> (a

> >

> >line from one of my songs)

> >I remember at his lectures, there were many people, and many people

> bought

> > his books, but then how many read and approved of Mein Kamph.

> >I could go on and on about the problems with his teachings but if you

> like

> >them you won't care what I say, or what I like or dislike. On the

other

> >hand,

> >perhaps some will see it my way and agree with me. And that's how it

> goes

> > in

> >life. Some agree and some don't, and so the world goes on.

> >

> >

> >Larry Epston

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >For the overwhelming majority of folks (what you call " ordinary

> >experience " )

> >love is experienced as need, and this is what's being said, which is

why

> K

> >won't be found in the self help section next to " How to improve your

love

>

>

> >life " .

> >

> >As we mature spiritually, we learn to release self judgment and achieve

 

> >self

> >acceptance, which is self love. It's recognized that the self is the

> source

> >

> > of love rather than the 'other', at which point one's intimate

relations

> >shift

> >and we draw people into our lives who also understand the source of love

> >within. The other then becomes a mirror for our own expression of love

> >rather

> >than an object of need.

> >

> L.E: Well, I understand what you write and it makes more sense than what

K

> wrote. And I don't think what you write is very related to what he

wrote.

>

> You

> seem concerned with end-points that are in the future rather than what is

 

> present as to " as we mature spiritually, " someday in the future is we do.

 

> But in

> the present people love each other as best they can and accomodate each

> other

> to a degree. I don't think that is an intellectual process and therefore

 

> not

> emotional and not loving as does K. Do you have a problem giving me

direct

>

> responses to the issues I raise, or do you think you are doing that

because

>

> I

> don't. For a person who wasn't a guru and claimed not to be a leader, he

> talked

> way too much and basked in the adoration of his un-followers. Perhaps

> profound denial is what how he managed to do that for so many years.

>

> Larry Epston

>

> p.s. " self love " implies a split between ego and self which I don't think

> exists. So the concept of self-love is faulty and impossible. Or it is

an

>

> expression of narcissism a personality disorder.

>

>

>

> Well, that was what I got out of what K wrote. Maybe someone else has a

> different interpretation.

>

> If one is paying attention to what is occurring in the present, the

> spiritual maturity occurs on it's own. I didn't suggest that people don't

> love each

> other as best they can, I only implied that change is a good thing.

>

> I no longer have the original text we're discussing, but my recollection

is

>

> that K was saying love is not a thought; not an idea, but a state of

being.

> The thought for most folks, whether verbalized or not, is 'How can I be

> loved?'

> With maturity, the thought becomes, 'How can be loving?' Later, the

> question

> becomes, 'How can I be love?'

>

> I don't understand your comment about not giving you direct responses. I

> think I've been very direct with you. Maybe an example would help.

>

>

> Self love is self acceptance. It implies the healing of a split rather

than

>

> the cause of it. It's also the opposite of narcissism since it ends the

> intense need to focus on the self in self defense and self deception.

> Narcissism

> arises from too much inner conflict which results from denial. Denial is

> the

> unwillingness to look at one's own self created ego processes.

>

>

L.E: Your explanation is reasonable and thoughtful and I respect that.

Perhaps K could have explained it better than he did, but he still reads to

me as

negative and critical. Some, like and need that. I don't. He is really

putting down everyone who says they love as " intellectual " which reads as

false and

insincere. No need to make K the major issue, there are many teachers, some

that appeal and some that don't or that make sense in part, but not as a

whole.

I still think there's a better way to explain self-love although your effort

is admirable. I like the idea of changing self-love to being loving. That

gets rid of the verbal dichotomy.

Concerning Narcissism, what it is and how it works is a large issure, as

well as who embodies it, and to what extent. For instance, Bob Nixon seems

really screwed up. Is it narcissism or some other kind of abberation? As I

said,

his assault is unkind, mean-spirited and obsessive.

That is a characteristic of narcissism. To become really angry over small

slights or any impingement on his ego which he takes as a life or death

threat.

Perhaps he defines himself by those he hates, his enemies, and uses his

anger

to give himself a sense of false reality.

 

Larry Epston

 

I'm sure it sounds odd, but I see Bob as passionate, open and sincere. He

doesn't like you and he hasn't tried to hide that. " Life and death

threat....hate.....false sense of reality " ? No, I don't think so.

 

 

BTW, your hand slapping by private email was never appreciated here either,

so I understand where he's coming from.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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