Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 With enough conscience vanity is eventually annihilated in the fires of real and decent shame. Vanity is the emotive need to be looked upon with approval by others in order to satisfy an artificial sense of self-worth, usually an unwarranted and inflated sense of self-worth. Vanity needs feedback in the form of positive recognition and if possible admiration. Vanity particularly desires admiration. The appetite for recognition, approval and admiration is the primary motivation for most of the activity occurring in social circles throughout civilization and throughout the history of civilization. This form of self-illusion is so prevalent in modern society, it is so completely accepted as a normal condition of being, that those not motivated by vanity are often considered maladjusted. There are very few genuine altruists in the stream of humanity, it is exceptional that a man's motivation in life is not his own self-aggrandizement. In particular it is vanity that fuels the enormous effort people pour into social refinements. Vanity needs to feel in some fashion better than the common majority, vanity needs to feel superior. The intricate and amazingly elaborate stratification 'system' of social station and position is one indication of how powerful a force simple vanity is in the affairs of human machines. Intimate to the feature of vanity is the quest for wealth and social privilege. Unadorned with fine cloth and jewels vanity slowly starves, without an exclusive setting vanity has little to feel aristocratic about. However, even a lack of pomp and circumstance hardly quells the ambition of this feature to find something about itself that distinguishes it from those around it. This sense that there is something exclusive about this single individual as he circulates through the crowds of strangers and acquaintances is what lies at the core of that brand of false personality that is commonly known as vanity. Of course those vanity- driven characters who come together and call themselves 'friends' all share the state of illusion that " we " are somehow something more than the rest of these unfortunates. The truth of the situation for most men in the world is that their sudden death would hardly genuinely disturb more than a handful, and even those few for hardly more than a few days. On a higher scale, most men could disappear from existence causing not so much as a single ripple of consequence to the scheme of society or history, much less to the universe. Vanity never contemplates such scales, vanity avoids such scales of thought. What is important to vanity is the almost desperate inner sense of self-importance it constantly needs to feel, coupled with some appreciable and apparent success in gaining the attention of others. This is the drug vanity sustains itself on: attention from others. The sense that a man is generally accepted and liked because of his particular qualities, the superficial sense of security such acceptance generates in what the citizen calls 'his heart', this sense of belonging that when examined almost always, at least in part, depends on judgmental comparisons and disparagement of other groups and those outside the particular circle, all this is the mentality of the feature of vanity. Rarely is any one man genuinely psychologically important to more than an immediate handful, usually only to those directly economically connected or dependent on him, but sometimes it so happens that a particular citizen is beautiful and brilliant, desired and loved, in such rare cases the self- admiration, the isolating self-absorption and selfishness of vanity spoils the very essence that draws the world hither. There is a marked difference between an essence attraction and the convoluted entanglement involving vanity features interdependent upon one another for sympathetic company. There is always an unspoken contract between vanity features: feed us your attention and in return we will feed you our attention. The simple rules of this arrangement invariably become complicated beyond comprehension. The addiction for attention as a proof of legitimacy and as an indicator of self-worth is typically the motivation behind most successful people. People will make enormous effort to draw attention to themselves. To distinguish himself and therefore join the ranks of the socially acceptable, most citizens will endure virtually any torture. The certainty that a particular citizen is a relatively significant being, an at least somewhat important, unique, sought after, admired and desired individual, is a common illusion that originates in the mechanical story of the emotional center. It is an illusion because just under the surface of those a man counts as his admirers is a covert distain, a rejection that is born from the habit of jealous comparison and envy. In the farcical drama of vanity the seemingly open admirers are secretly and very soon overtly the most vicious critics and detractors. This particular plot-twist plays itself out so frequently and predictably that it can be counted on as a psychological law. In the realm of vanity the 'kingdom' of a man's self-esteem is constantly besieged by those he mistakes as his own personal body guards, whether they directly inform him of their condemnation or not. They will certainly in ies the other is interested in promoting about himself. From the perspective of what might be considered objective mental health, the compulsive need for attention is a disease. Vanity itself is a disease of the emotional function, a disease that imposes upon the sufferer a sense of worth and position among the other characters in the ward. Vanity is the most common chief feature for most human machines. It is almost everyone else's secondary feature. There is a form of vanity ready to infect every one of the four basic human functions. Intellectual vanity prides itself on the ability to successfully argue others down and employ superior 'reasoning' to refute the opinion of detractors and opponents; debates are often the feature of vanity expressing itself loudly. A silver-tongued capacity to present personal opinions over the opinion of others, to dismiss them with irrefutable rhetoric, is one of vanity's favorite satisfactions. One cannot help but picture the British Parliament or the American Congress in this context. Emotional vanity prides itself on the 'social arts,' for instance, the art of 'putting people in their place' through the use of clever, snide remarks designed to humiliate. Physical vanity is obvious in the pride people take in expressing their 'body language' to the opposite sex, to competitive rivals, and in attempts to get sexual approval. Vanity is a necessary buffer for the general social comfort of the majority of citizens. We believe that the accidental accumulation of layers of personality that we collectively call 'I' are legitimate and substantial. We need to feel this affirmation of our legitimacy because eternally beneath the surface of the obvious self-confidence is the perpetual anguish of self-doubt. If the illusion of 'imaginary picture' were suddenly made clear to the comprehension of a man without psychological preparation it would do permanent damage to his psyche. The illusions the citizen has about himself need to be peeled away slowly, carefully, and replaced immediately by the substantiality of householder. One of the attributes of householder is that he understands that his accomplishments in life are the result of his service to what needed to be done, he understands that circumstances, the random presentation of fortunate opportunities coupled with his determination to act effectively, are what brought his success, if he enjoys any unusual success. Vanity somehow always assumes that what comes his way is owed to him by virtue of his natural pre-eminence. It so often is the case that those with the most intractable vanity are born into a long established lineage of privilege and material opportunity so that they are seldom actually tested by the rigors of survival. If such a man's vanity is directly and effectively assaulted by the truth about himself before there is a development of genuine householder he will become psychologically damaged. Too much force against the illusion of vanity is destructive. If vanity is assaulted with too much effective force the initiate is left with no sense of self to support the growth of genuine will. Except in rare cases, he becomes a pleasant, willing chameleon, or a broken, depressed pity. This is one of the first assaults cults use to enslave recruits, the destruction of vanity in the subjects so that they are left with an entirely vacant sense of self. Citizens broken in this way no longer possess any discrimination or resistance, they are entirely compliant and subservient to those who know how to manipulate them. In real psychological work vanity is replaced by the genuine values of householder, a man gains more self-reliance not less. Vanity needs to be replaced with the genuine individuality that comes from sustained efforts to take personal responsibility for all the details necessary to sustain life. Generally vanity prides itself on how smooth and easy life has become, although there is even a sense of vanity about the troubles a man has faced and survived. A practitioner of psychological work strives to arrive at a sense of individuality through the realization that this false self-image instilled into men by some invisible force of the community is unnecessary and even debilitating from the point of view of the aim to directly experience the truth of our condition on this world. Vanity is an effective buffer against the understanding that an ordinary life that is entirely oriented toward material accomplishment alone ultimately lacks any deeper satisfaction. Those pursuing such a life become the slaves of their own sense of self- worth, which in any event is subsequently enslaved by everyone else's opinion. Vanity is a seemingly irrefutable opinion a man has about himself that governs his every perception, this self-estimation is a fragile illusion, an illusion that can usually be shaken by almost every disbeliever who passes by. A man with the chief feature of vanity feels that his concerns and interests come first before the concerns and interests of everyone else, because he feels that he is more important than everyone else. This attitude is not even formulated in the mind, it a conviction built right into the very foundation of the illusion. When people react unfavorably toward an open manifestation of vanity from an incautious self-admirer, what it is that they do not like is the implied selfishness, an inherent indifference to the difficulties of others. As long as it does not undermine the security of its conceited constructions, vanity often even enjoys the misfortunes of others. Vanity especially enjoys the misfortunes of those it considers his rivals in the competition for attention, the misfortune of others seem to prove to vanity that providence is with him. Oddly enough, misfortune is often the most effective cure for vanity. Vanity is an active feature, it also typically manifests through the positive halves of centers. In general vanity feature is pleased with himself. Vanity is loathed to be seen in any condition other than invigorated and positive. The favorite word of those with the chief feature of vanity is 'I'. In every interaction, in every conversation, the central reference point that the feature is tethered to is 'I', me. Somehow vanity assumes that the spotlight of existence is brought down on him, and that the real world is just that square few cubits that are occupied by " me, " and those who have " me " in their lives. Irrationally vanity is the center of the universe, but a universe shrunk down not only to the size of a culture existing only in the modern now, but a universe shrunk down to the size of a few miles or a few blocks in only one of the ten thousand cities of the world. Out of six billion human dramas breathing on the surface of this globe, my friends and myself is where providence places its interest. These others are there only as nonentities, the cast of background stand-ins who help set the stage for my life. The illusionary mentality of vanity mistakes its own experiential references as exclusively objective, when a subject is brought up or mentioned that is outside the experience of a particular vanity feature he dismisses it as unimportant. The only way vanity can relate to people and events in the world is through its own set of familiar encounters. Vanity is unable to project its perceptions into other backgrounds, into other situations or into the reference of other cultures. If vanity cannot say to himself: 'yes, that is a familiar experience' he cannot intellectually or emotionally connect with what others are trying to express. In other words, vanity lacks empathy. The people, places and things outside a particular vanity feature's references are ignored, they are buffered, they are dismissed and even ridiculed. Those races dissimilar to the race vanity is born into are somehow inferior, flawed and corrupt. Those people living lives dissimilar to the life vanity leads are caught up in values and beliefs that are clearly mediocre and ill conceived. Vanity is both shortsighted and small- minded. The feature is uncomfortable when it does not have a point with which to one-up the experiences of others. Vanity is surprised by the fact that others may have some insight that it has not considered. When vanity hears something new, an unfamiliar yet obviously valuable idea, it reacts with surprise that someone else had an idea that he did not think of first. It is typical of vanity to steal the idea, pretending he thought of it first, or to try to suppress the idea and vanquish or defame the person who originated the idea. Vanity is envious, jealous and revengeful. Vanity is the basis of most forms of social discrimination. Through vanity the citizens of life judge themselves in relation to others and so are forced to judge everyone else to maintain the illusion of elevation. Vanity features form cliques. Those who imagine that they are equally superior find one another and maintain this mistaken impression by denigrating everyone else. When vanity is slighted its judgments become irrational, a wounded vanity feature reacts by lashing out to wound others. Vanity even realizes that its judgments of others are lies, but he does not care. When vanity feels slighted he wants retribution. To openly suggest that a man with the feature of vanity might not be capable of effective functioning at a particular task is grounds for open hostility and long-term resentment. Vanity prides itself on its competency. Particularly in the function that the man with the feature is centered in, he will feel himself an expert in all aspects of that function even in the face of evidence to the contrary. Vanity is often accompanied by an irrational sense of social competitiveness, so that a man refuses to accept that he is ill suited to a particular task unless and until there is an overwhelming demonstration of incompetence. Failure of any kind in any endeavor is devastating to vanity. Even when the facts are inescapable the vanity feature will find some excuse to prove that he was not at fault. Vanity is obsessed with securing the favorable opinion of others, it almost cannot exist without the appreciation of others. Often vanity will attempt to distinguish itself from the imitation and uniformity of the crowd by experimenting with novel appearances. Vanity is a peacock. Vanity dresses itself up, it paints itself, vanity creates a stage to present itself in the best light, but insecurity enslaves the feature to the reaction and reception of the imagined admirers. Virtually all community, ceremonial or ritual social activities exist for no other reason than to perpetuate vanity, most gatherings are arranged as a stage for the feature of vanity to parade itself out in public. The disease demands that everyone be psychologically arranged in a social pecking order. The most vain, those with the means to substantiate their vanity, are at the core of the influence and prestige, while the lesser slaves of the illusion hover at a distance awaiting an invitation like polite dogs hungry for scraps of consideration. Nearly all conversations are manifestations of vanity as well. Whenever there is a moment when nothing in particular is happening vanity begins to talk. It talks about itself, that is, it talks about nothing. Conversations of vanity are moments when vanity features huddle together to agree on one another's version of the social illusion. The social world of vanity is arranged and continuously rearranged through implications contained in the subtleties of the non-stop gossip. Vanity as a social disease is spread through the contagious, unclean practice of gossiping. People talk about their own position in the social pecking order that the centrifuge of false personality has arranged their world into. They gossip about their rivals and those above and below their own station in life. Vanity's chief preoccupation is the infinitely fine science of what everyone thinks of everyone else. The dark side of the coin is the feeling of not being as much as someone else, of being an inferior. For vanity nothing is more agonizing than being second string, being left out, being judged by the mainstream as unacceptable. Through the feature of vanity people can experience horrific emotional suffering simply as a reaction to rejection, and all such suffering is entirely imaginary. Such suffering is the invention of a citizen's identification with a social conception that depends on false values. A vanity feature that accepts the illusion of being inferior flips into the other half of vanity, into the state of self-deprecation. Self-deprecation is vanity manifesting through the negative halves of centers. Turning introspective is the way vanity defends itself when its illusions become threadbare. Though one feels miserable, false 'I' is still the center of all one's thoughts. To constantly think about " yourself, " to think about yourself in relation to others, whether one feels equal, superior or humiliated, is vanity. Criticism and flattery are vanity's primary stimulants, either one will especially spark identification in those with this chief feature. Self-deprecation feeds on a steady stream of criticism. This aspect of vanity will sabotage everything it does to incur criticism and thus insure its tortured existence and its state of perpetual identification. Self- deprecation loves to belittle itself in front of others, because even though it receives negative attention, it is still the center of attention. Whether through praise or annoyance vanity wants attention, positive attention or negative attention almost doesn't matter. Always, whether the attention was good or bad, vanity insists that there is a special set of circumstances in relation to his own particular life. Almost everyone thinks in this egocentric fashion, it is the first illusion of vanity. The second illusion is that everyone thinks they are more than they are, everyone believes they are smarter than they actually are. The fact emerges here, there is a predicable, garden-variety pattern of human assumption that you are a special case, or that you are especially worthless. The reality is that most people are meaningless faces in a crowd of somnambulists whose expressions are one-by-one painted with the makeup of self- pride and pretension. Each mouth hollers 'look at me, I am here' into the deafened ear of his self-absorbed neighbor. There is another degree of vanity, a degree below the ordinary level of life. This dense, negative degree of vanity is called narcissism. Narcissism can tolerate no criticism. At this level of self- absorption vanity is nearly crystallized in the subject. A narcissist has grandiosity as a buffer against the appearance of any flaw. The narcissist is obsessed with becoming perfect. The narcissist imagines he is entitled to greatness and must be treated with deference. In ordinary life most of the high functioning, successful professionals are almost always narcissists. The hallmark of the narcissist is the inability to feel empathy for the misfortunes or suffering of others. The narcissist is emotionally damaged and is emotionally disassociated from the people around him. He lives in an empty, numb world where his only satisfaction is his own accomplishments. The higher, compassionate side of his emotional center has been severed, and only the inflammable self-obsessed part functions. To achieve his aims a narcissist will struggle to convince everyone of his profound sincerity. He is the cleverest of beasts. The narcissist has an eerie capacity to read the psychological needs and wants of people and to supply their particular brand of vanity with exactly what it wants as a method of manipulating them. What the narcissists wants is always the same, ultimately he wants to be worshiped as if he were a supernatural being of perfect character, in spite of his obvious selfishly motivated demands from everyone. Narcissists tend to flock, this is what gives them away. They migrate toward one another like guided projectiles through radar beams. In psychologically carnivorous packs they feed each other self-serving tidbits of veneration. Offering an unflattering observation, even a slightly critical opinion, about a faulty manifestation, something a narcissist will certainly interpret as a condemnation, is like searing him with a hot iron, he is devastated. Likely he will never speak to you again. The comment has done him a 'narcissistic injury'. Narcissists are driven by their grandiosity to achieve remarkable ambitions; they need fame, as the ordinary recognition around them is not enough to satisfy their greed for adoration. The narcissistic personality leads to that category of creatures that exist in the world with a crystallized, frozen heart. Vanity is susceptible to shocks. A moment of real suffering usually at least temporarily cures the disease of vanity. There is a rarefied level of the human emotional center where vanity cannot persist, such a level of emotion is awakened by the shock of real suffering. Vanity exists as such a pervasive illusion because people do not develop enough sense of scale. If individuals understood to what extent nature uses them for its ignoble ends they could never feel so extraordinary and clever. Humans huddle at the feet of nature, even at the feet of man-made disaster, and imagine themselves the master of events. History repeatedly swallows whole societies, eats them overnight, and still societies rise with citizens certain of their splendid and immortal nature. People forget the vanity of the past. They forget places like ancient Rome and people like the emperor Nero, or even a minor character like Mussolini, or a thousand other petty fools who were swallowed mercilessly by their own infamous vanity. The antidote for vanity is conscience. Real suffering is when a man remembers events in his life that were controlled by the sleep of his own vanity, there is almost nothing more painful than to recollect episodes of time wasted by the ignorance of arrogance. With enough conscience vanity is eventually annihilated in the fires of real and decent shame. * Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 Nisargadatta , " Judi Rhodes " <judirhodes wrote: > > > > With enough conscience vanity is eventually annihilated in the fires > of real and decent shame. > > Vanity is the emotive need to be looked upon with approval by others > in order to satisfy an artificial sense of self-worth, usually an > unwarranted and inflated sense of self-worth. Vanity needs feedback > in the form of positive recognition and if possible admiration. > Vanity particularly desires admiration. The appetite for recognition, > approval and admiration is the primary motivation for most of the > activity occurring in social circles throughout civilization and > throughout the history of civilization. This form of self-illusion is > so prevalent in modern society, it is so completely accepted as a > normal condition of being, that those not motivated by vanity are > often considered maladjusted. There are very few genuine altruists in > the stream of humanity, it is exceptional that a man's motivation in > life is not his own self-aggrandizement. In particular it is vanity > that fuels the enormous effort people pour into social refinements. > Vanity needs to feel in some fashion better than the common majority, > vanity needs to feel superior. The intricate and amazingly elaborate > stratification 'system' of social station and position is one > indication of how powerful a force simple vanity is in the affairs of > human machines. Intimate to the feature of vanity is the quest for > wealth and social privilege. Unadorned with fine cloth and jewels > vanity slowly starves, without an exclusive setting vanity has little > to feel aristocratic about. However, even a lack of pomp and > circumstance hardly quells the ambition of this feature to find > something about itself that distinguishes it from those around it. > This sense that there is something exclusive about this single > individual as he circulates through the crowds of strangers and > acquaintances is what lies at the core of that brand of false > personality that is commonly known as vanity. Of course those vanity- > driven characters who come together and call themselves 'friends' all > share the state of illusion that " we " are somehow something more than > the rest of these unfortunates. The truth of the situation for most > men in the world is that their sudden death would hardly genuinely > disturb more than a handful, and even those few for hardly more than > a few days. On a higher scale, most men could disappear from > existence causing not so much as a single ripple of consequence to > the scheme of society or history, much less to the universe. Vanity > never contemplates such scales, vanity avoids such scales of thought. > What is important to vanity is the almost desperate inner sense of > self-importance it constantly needs to feel, coupled with some > appreciable and apparent success in gaining the attention of others. > This is the drug vanity sustains itself on: attention from others. > The sense that a man is generally accepted and liked because of his > particular qualities, the superficial sense of security such > acceptance generates in what the citizen calls 'his heart', this > sense of belonging that when examined almost always, at least in > part, depends on judgmental comparisons and disparagement of other > groups and those outside the particular circle, all this is the > mentality of the feature of vanity. Rarely is any one man genuinely > psychologically important to more than an immediate handful, usually > only to those directly economically connected or dependent on him, > but sometimes it so happens that a particular citizen is beautiful > and brilliant, desired and loved, in such rare cases the self- > admiration, the isolating self-absorption and selfishness of vanity > spoils the very essence that draws the world hither. There is a > marked difference between an essence attraction and the convoluted > entanglement involving vanity features interdependent upon one > another for sympathetic company. There is always an unspoken contract > between vanity features: feed us your attention and in return we will > feed you our attention. The simple rules of this arrangement > invariably become complicated beyond comprehension. The addiction for > attention as a proof of legitimacy and as an indicator of self-worth > is typically the motivation behind most successful people. People > will make enormous effort to draw attention to themselves. To > distinguish himself and therefore join the ranks of the socially > acceptable, most citizens will endure virtually any torture. The > certainty that a particular citizen is a relatively significant > being, an at least somewhat important, unique, sought after, admired > and desired individual, is a common illusion that originates in the > mechanical story of the emotional center. It is an illusion because > just under the surface of those a man counts as his admirers is a > covert distain, a rejection that is born from the habit of jealous > comparison and envy. In the farcical drama of vanity the seemingly > open admirers are secretly and very soon overtly the most vicious > critics and detractors. This particular plot-twist plays itself out > so frequently and predictably that it can be counted on as a > psychological law. In the realm of vanity the 'kingdom' of a man's > self-esteem is constantly besieged by those he mistakes as his own > personal body guards, whether they directly inform him of their > condemnation or not. They will certainly in ies the other is > interested in promoting about himself. From the perspective of what > might be considered objective mental health, the compulsive need for > attention is a disease. Vanity itself is a disease of the emotional > function, a disease that imposes upon the sufferer a sense of worth > and position among the other characters in the ward. > > Vanity is the most common chief feature for most human machines. It > is almost everyone else's secondary feature. There is a form of > vanity ready to infect every one of the four basic human functions. > Intellectual vanity prides itself on the ability to successfully > argue others down and employ superior 'reasoning' to refute the > opinion of detractors and opponents; debates are often the feature of > vanity expressing itself loudly. A silver-tongued capacity to present > personal opinions over the opinion of others, to dismiss them with > irrefutable rhetoric, is one of vanity's favorite satisfactions. One > cannot help but picture the British Parliament or the American > Congress in this context. Emotional vanity prides itself on > the 'social arts,' for instance, the art of 'putting people in their > place' through the use of clever, snide remarks designed to > humiliate. Physical vanity is obvious in the pride people take in > expressing their 'body language' to the opposite sex, to competitive > rivals, and in attempts to get sexual approval. Vanity is a necessary > buffer for the general social comfort of the majority of citizens. We > believe that the accidental accumulation of layers of personality > that we collectively call 'I' are legitimate and substantial. We need > to feel this affirmation of our legitimacy because eternally beneath > the surface of the obvious self-confidence is the perpetual anguish > of self-doubt. If the illusion of 'imaginary picture' were suddenly > made clear to the comprehension of a man without psychological > preparation it would do permanent damage to his psyche. The illusions > the citizen has about himself need to be peeled away slowly, > carefully, and replaced immediately by the substantiality of > householder. One of the attributes of householder is that he > understands that his accomplishments in life are the result of his > service to what needed to be done, he understands that circumstances, > the random presentation of fortunate opportunities coupled with his > determination to act effectively, are what brought his success, if he > enjoys any unusual success. Vanity somehow always assumes that what > comes his way is owed to him by virtue of his natural pre-eminence. > It so often is the case that those with the most intractable vanity > are born into a long established lineage of privilege and material > opportunity so that they are seldom actually tested by the rigors of > survival. If such a man's vanity is directly and effectively > assaulted by the truth about himself before there is a development of > genuine householder he will become psychologically damaged. Too much > force against the illusion of vanity is destructive. If vanity is > assaulted with too much effective force the initiate is left with no > sense of self to support the growth of genuine will. Except in rare > cases, he becomes a pleasant, willing chameleon, or a broken, > depressed pity. This is one of the first assaults cults use to > enslave recruits, the destruction of vanity in the subjects so that > they are left with an entirely vacant sense of self. Citizens broken > in this way no longer possess any discrimination or resistance, they > are entirely compliant and subservient to those who know how to > manipulate them. > > In real psychological work vanity is replaced by the genuine values > of householder, a man gains more self-reliance not less. Vanity needs > to be replaced with the genuine individuality that comes from > sustained efforts to take personal responsibility for all the details > necessary to sustain life. Generally vanity prides itself on how > smooth and easy life has become, although there is even a sense of > vanity about the troubles a man has faced and survived. A > practitioner of psychological work strives to arrive at a sense of > individuality through the realization that this false self-image > instilled into men by some invisible force of the community is > unnecessary and even debilitating from the point of view of the aim > to directly experience the truth of our condition on this world. > Vanity is an effective buffer against the understanding that an > ordinary life that is entirely oriented toward material > accomplishment alone ultimately lacks any deeper satisfaction. Those > pursuing such a life become the slaves of their own sense of self- > worth, which in any event is subsequently enslaved by everyone else's > opinion. Vanity is a seemingly irrefutable opinion a man has about > himself that governs his every perception, this self-estimation is a > fragile illusion, an illusion that can usually be shaken by almost > every disbeliever who passes by. A man with the chief feature of > vanity feels that his concerns and interests come first before the > concerns and interests of everyone else, because he feels that he is > more important than everyone else. This attitude is not even > formulated in the mind, it a conviction built right into the very > foundation of the illusion. When people react unfavorably toward an > open manifestation of vanity from an incautious self-admirer, what it > is that they do not like is the implied selfishness, an inherent > indifference to the difficulties of others. As long as it does not > undermine the security of its conceited constructions, vanity often > even enjoys the misfortunes of others. Vanity especially enjoys the > misfortunes of those it considers his rivals in the competition for > attention, the misfortune of others seem to prove to vanity that > providence is with him. Oddly enough, misfortune is often the most > effective cure for vanity. > > Vanity is an active feature, it also typically manifests through the > positive halves of centers. In general vanity feature is pleased with > himself. Vanity is loathed to be seen in any condition other than > invigorated and positive. The favorite word of those with the chief > feature of vanity is 'I'. In every interaction, in every > conversation, the central reference point that the feature is > tethered to is 'I', me. Somehow vanity assumes that the spotlight of > existence is brought down on him, and that the real world is just > that square few cubits that are occupied by " me, " and those who > have " me " in their lives. Irrationally vanity is the center of the > universe, but a universe shrunk down not only to the size of a > culture existing only in the modern now, but a universe shrunk down > to the size of a few miles or a few blocks in only one of the ten > thousand cities of the world. Out of six billion human dramas > breathing on the surface of this globe, my friends and myself is > where providence places its interest. These others are there only as > nonentities, the cast of background stand-ins who help set the stage > for my life. The illusionary mentality of vanity mistakes its own > experiential references as exclusively objective, when a subject is > brought up or mentioned that is outside the experience of a > particular vanity feature he dismisses it as unimportant. The only > way vanity can relate to people and events in the world is through > its own set of familiar encounters. Vanity is unable to project its > perceptions into other backgrounds, into other situations or into the > reference of other cultures. If vanity cannot say to himself: 'yes, > that is a familiar experience' he cannot intellectually or > emotionally connect with what others are trying to express. In other > words, vanity lacks empathy. The people, places and things outside a > particular vanity feature's references are ignored, they are > buffered, they are dismissed and even ridiculed. Those races > dissimilar to the race vanity is born into are somehow inferior, > flawed and corrupt. Those people living lives dissimilar to the life > vanity leads are caught up in values and beliefs that are clearly > mediocre and ill conceived. Vanity is both shortsighted and small- > minded. The feature is uncomfortable when it does not have a point > with which to one-up the experiences of others. Vanity is surprised > by the fact that others may have some insight that it has not > considered. When vanity hears something new, an unfamiliar yet > obviously valuable idea, it reacts with surprise that someone else > had an idea that he did not think of first. It is typical of vanity > to steal the idea, pretending he thought of it first, or to try to > suppress the idea and vanquish or defame the person who originated > the idea. Vanity is envious, jealous and revengeful. Vanity is the > basis of most forms of social discrimination. Through vanity the > citizens of life judge themselves in relation to others and so are > forced to judge everyone else to maintain the illusion of elevation. > Vanity features form cliques. Those who imagine that they are equally > superior find one another and maintain this mistaken impression by > denigrating everyone else. When vanity is slighted its judgments > become irrational, a wounded vanity feature reacts by lashing out to > wound others. Vanity even realizes that its judgments of others are > lies, but he does not care. When vanity feels slighted he wants > retribution. > > To openly suggest that a man with the feature of vanity might not be > capable of effective functioning at a particular task is grounds for > open hostility and long-term resentment. Vanity prides itself on its > competency. Particularly in the function that the man with the > feature is centered in, he will feel himself an expert in all aspects > of that function even in the face of evidence to the contrary. Vanity > is often accompanied by an irrational sense of social > competitiveness, so that a man refuses to accept that he is ill > suited to a particular task unless and until there is an overwhelming > demonstration of incompetence. Failure of any kind in any endeavor is > devastating to vanity. Even when the facts are inescapable the vanity > feature will find some excuse to prove that he was not at fault. > Vanity is obsessed with securing the favorable opinion of others, it > almost cannot exist without the appreciation of others. Often vanity > will attempt to distinguish itself from the imitation and uniformity > of the crowd by experimenting with novel appearances. Vanity is a > peacock. Vanity dresses itself up, it paints itself, vanity creates a > stage to present itself in the best light, but insecurity enslaves > the feature to the reaction and reception of the imagined admirers. > Virtually all community, ceremonial or ritual social activities exist > for no other reason than to perpetuate vanity, most gatherings are > arranged as a stage for the feature of vanity to parade itself out in > public. The disease demands that everyone be psychologically arranged > in a social pecking order. The most vain, those with the means to > substantiate their vanity, are at the core of the influence and > prestige, while the lesser slaves of the illusion hover at a distance > awaiting an invitation like polite dogs hungry for scraps of > consideration. Nearly all conversations are manifestations of vanity > as well. Whenever there is a moment when nothing in particular is > happening vanity begins to talk. It talks about itself, that is, it > talks about nothing. Conversations of vanity are moments when vanity > features huddle together to agree on one another's version of the > social illusion. The social world of vanity is arranged and > continuously rearranged through implications contained in the > subtleties of the non-stop gossip. Vanity as a social disease is > spread through the contagious, unclean practice of gossiping. People > talk about their own position in the social pecking order that the > centrifuge of false personality has arranged their world into. They > gossip about their rivals and those above and below their own station > in life. Vanity's chief preoccupation is the infinitely fine science > of what everyone thinks of everyone else. > > The dark side of the coin is the feeling of not being as much as > someone else, of being an inferior. For vanity nothing is more > agonizing than being second string, being left out, being judged by > the mainstream as unacceptable. Through the feature of vanity people > can experience horrific emotional suffering simply as a reaction to > rejection, and all such suffering is entirely imaginary. Such > suffering is the invention of a citizen's identification with a > social conception that depends on false values. A vanity feature that > accepts the illusion of being inferior flips into the other half of > vanity, into the state of self-deprecation. Self-deprecation is > vanity manifesting through the negative halves of centers. Turning > introspective is the way vanity defends itself when its illusions > become threadbare. Though one feels miserable, false 'I' is still the > center of all one's thoughts. To constantly think about " yourself, " > to think about yourself in relation to others, whether one feels > equal, superior or humiliated, is vanity. Criticism and flattery are > vanity's primary stimulants, either one will especially spark > identification in those with this chief feature. Self-deprecation > feeds on a steady stream of criticism. This aspect of vanity will > sabotage everything it does to incur criticism and thus insure its > tortured existence and its state of perpetual identification. Self- > deprecation loves to belittle itself in front of others, because even > though it receives negative attention, it is still the center of > attention. Whether through praise or annoyance vanity wants > attention, positive attention or negative attention almost doesn't > matter. Always, whether the attention was good or bad, vanity insists > that there is a special set of circumstances in relation to his own > particular life. Almost everyone thinks in this egocentric fashion, > it is the first illusion of vanity. The second illusion is that > everyone thinks they are more than they are, everyone believes they > are smarter than they actually are. The fact emerges here, there is a > predicable, garden-variety pattern of human assumption that you are a > special case, or that you are especially worthless. The reality is > that most people are meaningless faces in a crowd of somnambulists > whose expressions are one-by-one painted with the makeup of self- > pride and pretension. Each mouth hollers 'look at me, I am here' into > the deafened ear of his self-absorbed neighbor. > > There is another degree of vanity, a degree below the ordinary level > of life. This dense, negative degree of vanity is called narcissism. > Narcissism can tolerate no criticism. At this level of self- > absorption vanity is nearly crystallized in the subject. A narcissist > has grandiosity as a buffer against the appearance of any flaw. The > narcissist is obsessed with becoming perfect. The narcissist imagines > he is entitled to greatness and must be treated with deference. In > ordinary life most of the high functioning, successful professionals > are almost always narcissists. The hallmark of the narcissist is the > inability to feel empathy for the misfortunes or suffering of others. > The narcissist is emotionally damaged and is emotionally > disassociated from the people around him. He lives in an empty, numb > world where his only satisfaction is his own accomplishments. The > higher, compassionate side of his emotional center has been severed, > and only the inflammable self-obsessed part functions. To achieve his > aims a narcissist will struggle to convince everyone of his profound > sincerity. He is the cleverest of beasts. The narcissist has an eerie > capacity to read the psychological needs and wants of people and to > supply their particular brand of vanity with exactly what it wants as > a method of manipulating them. What the narcissists wants is always > the same, ultimately he wants to be worshiped as if he were a > supernatural being of perfect character, in spite of his obvious > selfishly motivated demands from everyone. Narcissists tend to flock, > this is what gives them away. They migrate toward one another like > guided projectiles through radar beams. In psychologically > carnivorous packs they feed each other self-serving tidbits of > veneration. Offering an unflattering observation, even a slightly > critical opinion, about a faulty manifestation, something a > narcissist will certainly interpret as a condemnation, is like > searing him with a hot iron, he is devastated. Likely he will never > speak to you again. The comment has done him a 'narcissistic injury'. > Narcissists are driven by their grandiosity to achieve remarkable > ambitions; they need fame, as the ordinary recognition around them is > not enough to satisfy their greed for adoration. The narcissistic > personality leads to that category of creatures that exist in the > world with a crystallized, frozen heart. > > Vanity is susceptible to shocks. A moment of real suffering usually > at least temporarily cures the disease of vanity. There is a rarefied > level of the human emotional center where vanity cannot persist, such > a level of emotion is awakened by the shock of real suffering. Vanity > exists as such a pervasive illusion because people do not develop > enough sense of scale. If individuals understood to what extent > nature uses them for its ignoble ends they could never feel so > extraordinary and clever. Humans huddle at the feet of nature, even > at the feet of man-made disaster, and imagine themselves the master > of events. History repeatedly swallows whole societies, eats them > overnight, and still societies rise with citizens certain of their > splendid and immortal nature. People forget the vanity of the past. > They forget places like ancient Rome and people like the emperor > Nero, or even a minor character like Mussolini, or a thousand other > petty fools who were swallowed mercilessly by their own infamous > vanity. The antidote for vanity is conscience. Real suffering is when > a man remembers events in his life that were controlled by the sleep > of his own vanity, there is almost nothing more painful than to > recollect episodes of time wasted by the ignorance of arrogance. With > enough conscience vanity is eventually annihilated in the fires of > real and decent shame. > > > * > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 > The conceptual self is nothing other then vanity. > > > > toombaru but to whom are you speaking? certainly not to any " conceptual self " , which would be far too vain to regard itself as such! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2006 Report Share Posted May 30, 2006 Nisargadatta , " Judi Rhodes " <judirhodes wrote: > > > > With enough conscience vanity is eventually annihilated in the fires > of real and decent shame................ >SNIPPED.. for fun... and to save the shame that would come to one who is so vain as to define and preach against vanity. LOL!< .........With enough conscience vanity is eventually annihilated in the fires of real and decent shame. Hey!...the beggining and ending...there the same thing...oh how clever!NOT kisses hon! > > > * > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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