All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies: Kurt Vonnegut

[Guest guest]

" Life is like a mop. Sometimes life gets full of dirt and crud and

hairballs and things and you gotta clean it out. You gotta stick it

in here and rinse it off and start all over again. And sometimes life

sticks to the floor so much that a mop, a mop, it's not good enough.

You gotta get down there with like a toothbrush, you know, and you

gotta really scrub 'cause you gotta get it off! But if that doesn't

work, you can't give up! You gotta stand right up! You gotta run to a

window and say, " Hey! These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not

gonna take it any more! "

---Stanley Spadowski, UHF

 

" Life...it's like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless

perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable because all

you ever get back is another box of chocolates. So you're stuck with

this undefinable whipped mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when

there's nothing else left to eat. Sure once in a while there's a

peanut butter cup or an English toffee but they're gone too fast and

the taste is fleeting. You end up with nothing but broken bits filled

with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts. If you're desperate

enough to eat those, all you've got left is an empty box filled with

useless brown paper wrappers. "

---Smoking Man, The X-Files