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Do you remember sitting in your boss's

office discussing a very important and

urgent topic while feeling that... you

" have to go " [to the bathroom that is...]!

 

 

I do remember it!

 

 

Similarity, do you remember sitting in

a prayer, in a church, in a sermon, in

a temple, in a satsang...

 

while feeling that you " have to go " ...

 

 

Do you remember sitting with your

lover in a beautiful garden full of

roses, streams, green grass, singing

birds under the blue sky...

 

while feeling that you " have to go " ...

 

 

Or, rowing your beautiful canoe with

you lover in the lake under the

moonlight...

 

while feeling that you " have to go " ...

 

 

 

The whole joy seems to fade away...

 

the beauty seems to disappear...

 

you don't clearly hear...

 

you start missing the songs of birds...

 

you start missing the joke that your lover uttered...

 

Children playing around don't appear that

beautiful anymore...

 

The air doesn't feel that fragrant anymore...

 

Your lover doesn't seem that intriguing anymore...

 

 

you feel you " have to go " ...

and, the beauty and reality of " where you are "

seem to fade and start disappearing for you...

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>

> Do you remember sitting in your boss's

> office discussing a very important and

> urgent topic while feeling that... you

> " have to go " [to the bathroom that is...]!

>

>

> I do remember it!

>

>

> Similarity, do you remember sitting in

> a prayer, in a church, in a sermon, in

> a temple, in a satsang...

>

> while feeling that you " have to go " ...

>

>

> Do you remember sitting with your

> lover in a beautiful garden full of

> roses, streams, green grass, singing

> birds under the blue sky...

>

> while feeling that you " have to go " ...

>

>

> Or, rowing your beautiful canoe with

> you lover in the lake under the

> moonlight...

>

> while feeling that you " have to go " ...

>

>

>

> The whole joy seems to fade away...

>

> the beauty seems to disappear...

>

> you don't clearly hear...

>

> you start missing the songs of birds...

>

> you start missing the joke that your lover uttered...

>

> Children playing around don't appear that

> beautiful anymore...

>

> The air doesn't feel that fragrant anymore...

>

> Your lover doesn't seem that intriguing anymore...

>

>

> you feel you " have to go " ...

> and, the beauty and reality of " where you are "

> seem to fade and start disappearing for you...

>

 

The tension builds...

 

Division builds...

 

You feel divided...

you feel split between... the feeling

of being in this canoe under the

beautiful sky... versus you feeling the

need to go...

 

 

And, the need to go feels much

stronger than what you are actually

doing now, where you are actually

sitting now...

 

You physically stay at one place and

your mind keeps traveling to other

place and keeps reminding you that...

you " have to go " ...

 

 

That I realized is the source of constant

pain that most of us constantly feel...

 

It builds [inner] conflict, it builds

tension, it creates [inner] split...

and, it perfectly spoils even most

beautiful Moments!

 

You feel annoyed at your boss [for making

you sit in an " important " meeting while

you needing " to go " ]...

 

You feel annoyed at your lover [for making

you come on this canoe ride], you snap

at her...

 

 

It makes even the paradise a torturous Hell!

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[...]

 

>

> You physically stay at one place and

> your mind keeps traveling to other

> place and keeps reminding you that...

> you " have to go " ...

>

>

> That I realized is the source of constant

> pain that most of us constantly feel...

>

> It builds [inner] conflict, it builds

> tension, it creates [inner] split...

> and, it perfectly spoils even most

> beautiful Moments!

>

> You feel annoyed at your boss [for making

> you sit in an " important " meeting while

> you needing " to go " ]...

>

> You feel annoyed at your lover [for making

> you come on this canoe ride], you snap

> at her...

>

>

> It makes even the paradise a torturous Hell!

>

 

 

And, I realized that this " feeling "

of " having to go " ***... is a constant

companion for almost all of us!

 

 

It gives a constant feeling of inner unease,

an inner discomfort and pain that unless deeply

investigated, examined and revealed accompanies

us all our life!

 

It lives as a constantly present inner

tension that seems to keep " reminding "

us of the " need " of 'being somewhere else',

'doing something else'... the " need " of

'being someone else'...

 

 

It practically keeps us always divided,

always split... and, in constant pain that

results from this 'split'!

 

 

Split this way,

we pass through our entire life...

without really " living " it!

 

and, our life seem to have just passed

through the rear-view mirror of our

memory whereas, we have been always

[mentally] " running " to... be Somewhere else!

 

 

 

....in very few moments when this

background tension, this stress to

be somewhere else is not present...

 

the real beauty appears...

real laughter appears...

real love appears...

real happiness appears...

 

real freedom appears...

 

 

 

and,

 

when this [Momentary] " gap " appears...

 

it doesn't appear because of any " effort " ...

 

it appears because the constant

'reminding' effort [of being somewhere

lese, doing something else, having

something else, being someone else...]

ceased for a moment due to " surrender " ...

 

 

or,

 

the effort broke for a moment of a

" sudden " movement that ego couldn't cope

with and thus left...

 

 

 

 

---

 

*** " having to go " in real life is

also felt as " having to do " , " should do " ,

" need to do " , " need to be somewhere else " ,

" need to do something else " , " need to get

something else " , " need to achieve something

else " ... " need to feel some way different than

excatly how I am feeling right now " ,

" need to do something other than

EXACTLY what I am doing right now "

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