Guest guest Posted September 2, 2006 Report Share Posted September 2, 2006 Nisargadatta , " adithya_comming " <adithya_comming wrote: > > Did Ramana love " love " mosquitoes especially at the moment... when > they bit him? > > > > If he did... > > Who the F* cares? > > I don't. > > > I would rather try to slap the mosquito then and there! > > and, that to me is " true " me! > In a way, there is no " true " anybody, because we are in constant flux. Killing the mosquito is a knee jerk reaction. No problem. But your wife is not an object. As long as you treat her like one, despite the fact that she's treating you like an object, you are really making yourself into an object. Your wife is really your own dark side: the side of you that you don't want to see, but that is perhaps even the biggest side of who you are. You are with her because of this, no matter how much you might insist that she's changed since you married her. From the moment you met, on an unconscious level, you knew she was your dark side. You have a lot of work ahead of you in accepting your dark side. I still think you and she should start with some kind of therapy. It isn't just she who loves to hate. Your having found her, even for one second, means that you yourself love to hate. Until you own that part, acknowledge and accept, and then transform, through love and understanding, that dark side, you will continue to have these problems. Even if you divorce her, never even see her again, that love of hate will resurface, and it will plague you, one way or the other: either as someone else in your life, or as your own struggle with yourself. So how is this accomplished? Again, through greater awareness of your body, commitment to sensitivity to your heart, your warmth, the subtlety of feeling, the huge spectrum between " right " and " wrong, " compassion for all sentient beings, starting with yourself, yes understanding, the marriage of mind and body. A continual relationship to your heart: its feeling, it's words, it's destiny, it's soul. It's intelligence and its stupidity. Therapy will clue you into how it is that the huge family drama that you growing up, continues. It continues until you understand the why's and wherefore's of the script. It's a huge play. Life's a stage and all of us players -- until we learn to read between the lines. Beyond its Karma to Subtlety. There's a Hindu fable about Krishna being chased by a demon who wasn't inherently " evil, " as no being is, but just needed to work off some bad karma. It chased Krishna as a cobra, so Krishna turned into a lion. Then it transformed into an elephant, so Krishna turned into a whale. The demon transformed into the ocean, Krishna into the earth. Solar system, galaxy. Then Krishna turned to subtlety: He turned into a subatomic particle and escaped the demon all together. This can be viewed as the hidden meaning of nonduality. That is our only " escape. " Sky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2006 Report Share Posted September 2, 2006 >>In a way, there is no " true " anybody, because we are in constant flux. >>Killing the mosquito is a knee jerk reaction. No problem. But your wife is not an object. As long as you treat her like one, despite the fact that she's treating you like an object, you are really making yourself into an object. >>Your wife is really your own dark side: the side of you that you don't want to see, but that is perhaps even the biggest side of who you are. You are with her because of this, no matter how much you might insist that she's changed since you married her. From the moment you met, on an unconscious level, you knew she was your dark side. >>You have a lot of work ahead of you in accepting your dark side. I still think you and she should start with some kind of therapy. It isn't just she who loves to hate. Your having found her, even for one second, means that you yourself love to hate. Hi Sky: Krishna story below is very nice. But, to just to clarify about me and my wife a little - we had NEVER met, talked or seen each other before getting married. It was an " arranged " marriage of the kind that perhaps, happens only in India. Even my parents [or anyone in my family] hadn't seen, met or ever talked to her before the marriage. It was quite likely that had we met each other and really talked - this marriage was extremely unlikely to happen. I really did have an affair before marriage that I would have readily acknowledged had my wife asked about it and she was extremely unlikely to marry me after knowing that I " did " love someone else once! I would have discovered after 10-15 minutes talk that our views on life are poles apart and thus, might have refused to marry! Regards, ac. >>Until you own that part, acknowledge and accept, and then transform, through love and understanding, that dark side, you will continue to have these problems. Even if you divorce her, never even see her again, that love of hate will resurface, and it will plague you, one way or the other: either as someone else in your life, or as your own struggle with yourself. >>So how is this accomplished? Again, through greater awareness of your body, commitment to sensitivity to your heart, your warmth, the subtlety of feeling, the huge spectrum between " right " and " wrong, " compassion for all sentient beings, starting with yourself, yes understanding, the marriage of mind and body. A continual relationship to your heart: its feeling, it's words, it's destiny, it's soul. It's intelligence and its stupidity. >>Therapy will clue you into how it is that the huge family drama that you growing up, continues. It continues until you understand the why's and wherefore's of the script. It's a huge play. >>Life's a stage and all of us players -- until we learn to read between the lines. Beyond its Karma to Subtlety. >>There's a Hindu fable about Krishna being chased by a demon who wasn't inherently " evil, " as no being is, but just needed to work off some bad karma. It chased Krishna as a cobra, so Krishna turned into a lion. Then it transformed into an elephant, so Krishna turned into a whale. The demon transformed into the ocean, Krishna into the earth. Solar system, galaxy. >>Then Krishna turned to subtlety: He turned into a subatomic particle and escaped the demon all together. This can be viewed as the hidden meaning of nonduality. >>That is our only " escape. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2006 Report Share Posted September 2, 2006 Nisargadatta , " adithya_comming " <adithya_comming wrote: > > >>In a way, there is no " true " anybody, because we are in constant > flux. > > >>Killing the mosquito is a knee jerk reaction. No problem. But your > wife is not an object. As long as you treat her like one, despite the > fact that she's treating you like an object, you are really making > yourself into an object. > > >>Your wife is really your own dark side: the side of you that you > don't want to see, but that is perhaps even the biggest side of who > you are. You are with her because of this, no matter how much you > might insist that she's changed since you married her. From the > moment you met, on an unconscious level, you knew she was your dark > side. > > >>You have a lot of work ahead of you in accepting your dark side. I > still think you and she should start with some kind of therapy. It > isn't just she who loves to hate. Your having found her, even for one > second, means that you yourself love to hate. > > > Hi Sky: > > Krishna story below is very nice. > > But, to just to clarify about me > and my wife a little - we had > NEVER met, talked or seen each > other before getting married. > > It was an " arranged " marriage of > the kind that perhaps, happens > only in India. Even my parents > [or anyone in my family] hadn't > seen, met or ever talked to her > before the marriage. > > It was quite likely that had > we met each other and really talked - > this marriage was extremely > unlikely to happen. > > I really did have an affair > before marriage that I would > have readily acknowledged had > my wife asked about it and she > was extremely unlikely to marry > me after knowing that I " did " > love someone else once! > > I would have discovered after > 10-15 minutes talk that our > views on life are poles apart > and thus, might have refused > to marry! > > Regards, > ac. > > > >>Until you own that part, acknowledge and accept, and then > transform, > through love and understanding, that dark side, you will continue to > have these problems. Even if you divorce her, never even see her > again, that love of hate will resurface, and it will plague you, one > way or the other: either as someone else in your life, or as your own > struggle with yourself. > > >>So how is this accomplished? Again, through greater awareness of > your > body, commitment to sensitivity to your heart, your warmth, the > subtlety of feeling, the huge spectrum between " right " and " wrong, " > compassion for all sentient beings, starting with yourself, yes > understanding, the marriage of mind and body. A continual > relationship to your heart: its feeling, it's words, it's destiny, > it's soul. It's intelligence and its stupidity. > > >>Therapy will clue you into how it is that the huge family drama > that > you growing up, continues. It continues until you understand the > why's and wherefore's of the script. It's a huge play. > > >>Life's a stage and all of us players -- until we learn to read > between > the lines. Beyond its Karma to Subtlety. > > >>There's a Hindu fable about Krishna being chased by a demon who > wasn't > inherently " evil, " as no being is, but just needed to work off some > bad karma. It chased Krishna as a cobra, so Krishna turned into a > lion. Then it transformed into an elephant, so Krishna turned into a > whale. The demon transformed into the ocean, Krishna into the earth. > Solar system, galaxy. > > >>Then Krishna turned to subtlety: He turned into a subatomic > particle > and escaped the demon all together. This can be viewed as the hidden > meaning of nonduality. > > >>That is our only " escape. " > Well, in that case, you married, not your wife, but whoever arranged the marriage. I take it, that was your parents. So, you are married to them. They are the dark side that you find in your wife. Make any sense? I hope so. Sky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2006 Report Share Posted September 2, 2006 > > > Well, in that case, you married, not your wife, but whoever arranged the marriage. I take it, that was your parents. So, you are married to them. They are the dark side that you find in your wife. But, even my parents hadn't met, talked to or really known my wife before my marriage. > > Make any sense? I am afraid, it does not. Woul you like to elaborate? Love, ac. > I hope so. > > Sky > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 2, 2006 Report Share Posted September 2, 2006 Nisargadatta , " adithya_comming " <adithya_comming wrote: > > > > > > > > Well, in that case, you married, not your wife, but whoever > arranged the marriage. I take it, that was your parents. So, you > are married to them. They are the dark side that you find in your > wife. > > But, even my parents hadn't met, > talked to or really known > my wife before my marriage. > > > > > Make any sense? > > I am afraid, it does not. > > Woul you like to elaborate? > > Love, > ac. > > > > I hope so. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Sky > > > Sorry. I suspected that it might be too vague. Maybe if I give you an example? Well, suppose God tells you to kill your son Abraham. And, instead of keeping it a secret, you announce to him exactly what you, as an obedient and holy man, are about to do. Abe, valuing his life, might argue and complain that this is just not appropriate. What's the problem? Is it Abe? Is it you? Where would you go first to inquire as to the core issue, here? Isn't it, first and foremost, your relationship to God, not your relationship to Abraham? The whole time you'd be with Abe, you wouldn't be thinking, why is Abe being like this, would you? You'd be thinking, why does God want me to do this? The same thing applies to your relationship to your wife. The core issue is, why did you commit to and marry someone you didn't know? The whole issue is, why did you submit to some higher authority? Let me know it this makes sense? Love, Sky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 3, 2006 Report Share Posted September 3, 2006 Nisargadatta , " adithya_comming " <adithya_comming wrote: >But, even my parents hadn't met, >talked to or really known >my wife before my marriage. Hi Adithya, maybe I will sound cynical in the context of your story, which has touched me deeply. Spontaneously I am reminded of that quote by Kazantzakis: " I fear nothing, I hope nothing, I am free " . (In Crete there is also still arranged marriage, haha!). Is it not the hope for a life without suffering which is the very chain that keeps us in prison? The stream of experiencing, as I see it, contains everything without choice. And life definitely can be utterly absurd, unfair and brutal. So, is our only escape hopelessness? Yes, I think so, but not the hopelessness of the victim. It is the hopelessness of the heroe which brings understanding, acceptance, and the glimpse of freedom. I am sure you remember how Osho many times has told us those jokes about nagging wifes who drive their husbands into enlightenement!? I know, everyone is responsible alone for his own life. And I wish you all the strength you need to find your own and best way in this situation. Maybe for now see your wife as a zen-master, hitting your head very hard! Love Stefan P.S. I am also talking to myself here, because I find myself again and again in difficult relationships. I deeply thank you for sharing your story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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