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Listening. . .

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GuruRatings , " adithya_comming "

<adithya_comming wrote:

>

>

>

> I know three modes of listening.

>

> Mode one, which also is most common,

> most frequent mode, is the mode of

> resistance and competition. In this

> mode, I hear everything with

> skepticism, resistance, suspicion,

> doubt and mistrust.

>

>

> This happens when

> my trust in somebody has been

> broken. It happens when listening to

> public speech of politicians like

> George Bush, Dick Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz,

> Gonzales; media men like Bill O Reilly,

> Michael Savage, some corporate executives

> and also many gurus in

> the areas varying from psychology and

> management to spirituality and enlightenment.

>

 

 

 

I realize that:

 

- trusting is far easier than

doubting. All trusting requires is an

initial agreement and belief; rest of

it is free and effortless. Whereas,

doubting, skepticism, suspicion

requires constant mental work and

energy expenditure. It makes psyche

weak and it feels like pain.

 

- Being a friend is far easier than

remaining an enemy. Again just an

agreement is required to be a friend

whereas being an enemy, a competitor

requires constant mental work and

energy expenditure. It makes psyche

weak and it feels like pain.

 

 

 

Do you know of a better way of

listening???

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Second mode of listening is based on

trust and friendship. In this mode, we

trust that the inner intentions of the

speakers are noble. We trust that the

attitude of the speaker is genuinely

kind, compassionate, respectful and

loving. IOW. . . we think that the

speaker a real friend and is genuine.

 

 

Once in this mode, we are very

receptive, open, welcoming, kind,

accommodating, compassionate, grateful

and forgiving. We forgive our friends

for many things, for many errors and we

generally get their meaning in spite of

the errors that might exist in

communication.

 

This is more a state of connecting

than of communicating. Here, we

communicate our intention far more than

our words. We share our love far more

than any external communication.

 

This is very smooth, nurturing,

enriching and easy way of listening,

connecting, learning and sharing. Words

lose their significance here and the

shared noble intentions and love

becomes far more important.

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Third mode of listening can be called

surrendered listening. In this mode, no

judgments are mode and no mental

commentary is done while listening.

Here we listen with all our heart, our

body and with a totally open mind. Mind

so open that we don't even realize that

it is there.

 

Both distrust and trust are suspended

here and listening becomes the only

thing happening. This state feels like

losing identity and initially we might

feel extremely vulnerable in this mode.

 

Very soon, we realize that there is no

distinct listener, neither there is a

distinct speaker. The difference between

you and me disappears and It all becomes One.

 

 

 

In this mode,

no attempt is made to 'understand' or

'process' what we hear. If any

processing takes place, it takes place

in the background and in our

unconscious. We just stay there, full

present, full alive, fully Available. . . in Love, as Love.

This is a moment of Grace!

 

 

But, is it really the right way of

listening???

 

 

Is it really the right way of being?

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Nisargadatta , " adithya_comming "

<adithya_comming wrote:

>

>

> I know three modes of listening.

>

> Mode one, which also is most common,

> most frequent mode, is the mode of

> resistance and competition. In this

> mode, I hear everything with

> skepticism, resistance, suspicion,

> doubt and mistrust.

>

> This happens when trust

> that I have with somebody has been

> broken. In listening to public speech

> of politicians like George Bush, Dick

> Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz, Gonzales; media

> men like Bill O Reilly, Michael Savage

> and also many gurus in the areas

> varying from psychology and management

> to spirituality and enlightenment.

>

>

> I realize that my trust for most of

> them is broken because of many

> instances of lies and deceit and in some

> cases simply because two sides talk of

> two totally different stories and only

> one of them can be true.

>

>

> In personal life too this happens

> though same process when trust that I

> had in somebody has been violated

> enough number of times. My trust is

> other human has been based on him/her

> being honest, truthful, fair as well as

> genuinely kind and compassionate - all

> of which are based on the person's

> ability to rise above petty selfishness

> and in being able to consistently

> choose principles over limited self

> interest. When that basis gets violated

> enough number of times, I lose trust in

> that person.

>

>

>

> However, I have realized that

> listening in this mode is one kind of

> pain and it makes me internally weak.

>

>

> In this mode, as if I internally build

> psychic walls myself and try to protect

> myself from what might come. Further,

> many times, when I listen in this mode,

> as if I am internally trying to build

> own verbal arsenal (arguments) by

> which, I can 'defeat' what I hear. It

> is as state of low mental war and

> unease and sometimes of inner ridicule,

> mockery and derision. All of which are

> just some form of. . . Pain because all

> of these are state Away from Love,

> Compassion and Acceptance!

>

>

>

> Do you know of a better way of

> listening???

>

 

 

*** Good description, good question, Arvind.

 

Perhaps there's no 'way' to listen.

Maybe intent precludes actually listening, or hearing?

 

Another point might be that 'Love, Compassion and

Acceptance,' as you put it, are not remedies. They

can't be established by any intent.

 

You could say they're already present, in open listening.

 

Anyway, we can only be intimately aware of our own

intent and meaning. It's just right there, when it is.

Nothing to do but understand its implications, how it's

constructed, what's being attempted, etc.

 

Often it manifests as assumptions and constructions about

the meaning and intent (open or surreptitious) of others.

But since there aren't any others (or 'self')-- except

by convention, it all comes back home!

 

 

Ken

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Nisargadatta , " adithya_comming "

<adithya_comming wrote:

>

> Third mode of listening can be called

> surrendered listening. In this mode, no

> judgments are mode and no mental

> commentary is done while listening.

> Here we listen with all our heart, our

> body and with a totally open mind. Mind

> so open that we don't even realize that

> it is there.

>

> Both distrust and trust are suspended

> here and listening becomes the only

> thing happening. This state feels like

> losing identity and initially we might

> feel extremely vulnerable in this mode.

>

> Very soon, we realize that there is no

> distinct listener, neither there is a

> distinct speaker. The difference between

> you and me disappears and It all becomes One.

>

>

>

> In this mode,

> no attempt is made to 'understand' or

> 'process' what we hear. If any

> processing takes place, it takes place

> in the background and in our

> unconscious. We just stay there, full

> present, full alive, fully Available. . . in Love, as Love.

> This is a moment of Grace!

>

>

> But, is it really the right way of

> listening???

>

>

> Is it really the right way of being?

>

*** Ha, good story. Can't wait for the next chapter.

 

Is everyone noticing the ever-expanding awareness? ;-)

 

Thanks, Arvind

 

Ken

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