Maharaj at Work by Alexander Smit

[Guest guest]

Q: What happened with you exactly?

The second day he asked if I had any questions. Then

I began to ask a question about reincarnation in a more

or less romanticized way. I told that I had always had a

connection with India, that when I heard the word 'India'

for the first time it was shock for me, and that the word

'yoga' was like being hit by a bomb when I first heard it

on TV, and that the word 'British India' was like a dog

hearing his boss whistle. And I asked, could it mean that

I had lived in India in previous lives? And then he began

to curse in Marathi, and to get unbelievably agitated, and

that lasted for at least ten minutes. I thought, my god,

what's happening here? The translator was apparently

used to it, because he just sat calmly by, and when

Maharaj was finished he summarized it all together;

'Maharaj is asking himself if you are really serious.

Yesterday you came and you wanted self-realization, but

now you begin with questions that belong in kindergarten'…

 

In this way you were forced to be unbelievably alert.

Everything counted heavily. It became clear to me within a

few days that I knew absolutely nothing, that all that I

knew, all the knowledge that I had gathered was book

knowledge, second hand, learned, but that out of myself

I knew nothing.

 

I can assure you that this put what was needed into motion.

And that's how it went every day! Whatever I came up with,

whether I asked an intelligent question or a dumb question,

made absolutely no difference. And one day he asserted this,

and the following day he asserted precisely the opposite

and the following day he twisted it around one more time

even though that was not actually possible.

 

And so it went, until by observation I understood why that

was, and that was a really wonderful realization. Why do I

try all the time to cram everything into concepts, to try to

understand everything in terms of thinking or in the

feelings sphere?

And, he gave me tips about how I could look at things in

another way, thus really looking. And then it became clear

to me that it just made no sense to regard yourself —

whatever you call yourself, or don't call yourself — in that

way. That was an absolute undermining of the self-

consciousness, like a termite eating a chair. At a certain

moment it becomes sawdust. It still looks like a

chair, but it isn't a chair anymore.

 

Q: Did that lead to self realization?

He kept going on like this, and then there came a moment

that I just plain had enough of it. Really just so much … I

would not say that I became angry, but a shift took place

in me, a shift of the accent on all authorities outside of

myself, including Nisargadatta, to an authority inside

myself. He was talking, and at a given moment he said

'nobody'. He said : 'Naturally there is nobody here who

talks.' That was too much for me. And I said: 'If you don't

talk then why don't you shut up then? Why say anything

then?' And it seemed as if that is what had been waiting

for. He said: 'Do you want that I should not talk anymore?

hat's good, then I won't talk anymore and if people want

to know something then they can just go to Alexander.

From now on there are no more translations, translators

don't have to come anymore, there is no more English

spoken. Only Marathi will be spoken, and if people have

any problems then they can go to Alexander because he

seems to know everything.' And then began all the trouble

with the others, the bootlickers and toadies who insisted

that I had to offer my apologies! Not on my life. Yeah, you

can't offer excuses to a nobody, eh?!

 

And to me he said; 'And you, you can't come here anymore.'

And I said: 'What do you mean I can't come here anymore.

ry and stop me. Have you gone completely crazy? ' And the

translators were naturally completely upset.

They said nothing like this had ever been seen before. And

he was angry! Unbelievably angry!. And he threw the

presents that I had brought for him at my feet and said:

'I want nothing from you, Nothing from you I want.'

And that was the breakthrough, because something

happened, there was no thinking because I was.. the shift

in authority had happened. As I experienced it everything

came to me from all sides: logic, understanding, on the one

hand the intellect and on the other hand at the same time

the heart, feelings and all phenomena, the entire manifest

came directly to me from all sides to an absolute center

where the whole thing exploded. Bang. After that everything

became clear to me…

 

The next day I went there as usual. There was a lecture, but

indeed no English was spoken. I can assure you that the

tension could be cut with a knife, because I was the guilty

party of course. He wanted to push that down my throat and

the translators just went along quietly. There was not even

any talking. And the next day, there was not even a lecture.

 

He arrived in a car, and drove away when he saw me and

went to a movie… Then I wrote him a letter. Twelve pages. In

perfect English. I had someone bring the letter to him.

Everything was running over. I wrote everything. And his

answer was: let him come tomorrow at 10 o'clock. And he

read my letter and said: ´You understood. This confrontation

was needed to eliminate that self-consciousness. But you

understood completely and I am very happy with your letter

and nothing happened.' Naturally , that cleared the air. He

asked if I wanted to stay longer. 'From this situation that took

place on September 21, 1978, I want to be here in love .' And

he said; 'that is good.' From that day on I attended all the talks

and also translated sometimes, for example when Spaniards,

or Frenchmen or Germans came. I was a bit of a helper then.

 

Q: So actually you apply the same method as he did: the cutting

away of the self-consciousness to the bone and letting people

see their identities. Was that his method?

 

Yes. Recognizing the false as false and thereafter letting the

truth be born. But the most wonderful thing was, MY basis

dilemma, and if I say 'my' I mean everyone in a certain sense, is

that if at a certain moment you ask yourself: what did I come

here for, that seems to be something completely different from

what you thought. Everyone has ideas about this question, and

I had never suspected in the farthest reaches of my mind that

the Realization of it would be something like this. That is the

first point. The second is, it appears that a certain point you

have the choice of maintaining your self-consciousness out of

pride, arrogance, intellect. And the function of the Guru, the

skill with which he can close the escapes from the real

confrontation was in his case uncommonly great, at least in my

case. And for me that was the decisive factor. Because if there

had been a chance to 'escape', I would certainly have taken it.

Like a thief who still tries to get away.

 

Q: Did he ever say anything about it?

He said that unbelievable courage is needed not to flee. And

that my being there had almost given him a heart attack, that

he no longer had the strength to tackle cases like mine as he

became older. So I have the feeling that I got there at just the

right moment. Later he became sick. He said: 'I have no

trength anymore to try to convince people. If you like it,

continue to come, maybe you can get something out of it,

but I have no strength anymore to convince people like him

(and then he pointed to me). I am so grateful to him, because

it only showed how great my resistance was. There has to be a

proportional force that is just a bit stronger than your

strangest and strongest resistance. You need that. It showed

how great my resistance was. And it showed how great his

strength was, and his skill. For me he was the great Satguru.

 

The fact that he was capable of defeating my most cunning

resistance — and I can assure you after having gone into these

things for 15 years — my resistance was extremely refined

and cunning, was difficult for him even though he knew who

he was dealing with. That's why I had to go to such a difficul

t person of course.

 

It says everything about me. Just as he said in the beginning

that it said everything about Frydman. But I have never seen

the skill he had in closing the escape routes of the lies and

falsehoods so immensely great anywhere else.

 

Of course I have not been everywhere, but with Ramana

Maharshi you just melted. That was another way. With Krishna

Menon the intellect could just not keep it together under the

gigantic dismantling, but by Nisargadatta, every escape was

doomed to failure. People who came to get something, or

people who thought they could bring something stood naked

outside the door within five minutes. I saw a great many

people there walking away in great terror. At a certain moment

I was no longer afraid, because I felt that I had nothing more to

lose. So I can't really say that it was very courageous of me. I

can only say that in a certain sense with him I went on the attack.

And what was nice about it is that he also valued that. Because,

he sent many people away, and these really went and mostly

didn't come back. The he would say: 'They are cowards. I didn't

end them away, I sent away the part of them that was not

acceptable here.' And if they then returned, completely open,

then he would say nothing about it. But during those happenings

with me, people forgot that. There was also a doctor, a really fine

man, who said; 'don't think that he is being brutal with you; you

don't have any idea how much love there is in him to do this with

you.' I said: 'Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that.' Because I didn't want

any commentary from anyone. After all, this is what I had come

for! Only the form in which it happened was totally different from

what I had expected in my wildest dreams. But again, that says

more about me than about Maharaj, and I still think that.

 

Q: So, his method was thus to let you recognize the false as false,

to see through the lies as lies, and to come to truth in this way?

Yes, and that went deeper than I could have ever suspected. The

thinking was absolutely helpless. The intellect had no ghost of

chance. The heart was also a trap. And that is exactly what

happened there. That is everything. And I know that after that

day, September 21, 1978, there has never been even a grain of

doubt about this question, and the authority, the command, the

authenticity, has never left, has never again shifted. There is no

authority, neither in this world or in another world, that can

thrust me out of the realization. That's the way it is.

 

Q: Did Maharaj say that you had to do something after this

realization?

 

I asked: 'It is all very beautiful, but what now? What do I do

with my life?

Then he said: 'You just talk and people will take care of you.'

And that's the way it has gone.

 

Q: Did you go visit him often?

 

Various times. As often as I could I was there every year for

two or three months. Until the last time. And when I knew

that I would never see him again there was entirely no

sadness or anything like that. It was just the way it was.

It was fine that way,