Help - Clear the Mental Mess!!!

[Guest guest]

Appalled by my lack of spirituality and purity of thoughts and actions

someone within me burst out with the below appended poem. Mailing the

same to the group hoping someone out there might be able to understand

what i am going through and suggest corrective measures .

 

I searched for God couldnt find proof for existence of one

Longed for a guru but found none

Read many books and confused myself and my brethren

Became skeptic and argued about everything from tantra to zen

 

Nothing seemed to be right and no one in flesh seemed realized

In my hunt for enlightenment i got demoralized

Why do i want liberation, How can i be a bhaktha if god is a myth

The questions are huge and so is my frustrations width

 

Greed came in under the guise of survival essential,

Then anger, lust and every sin you can name seemed inconsequential

Bah Karma is a bluff and we are but specks in a large universe

I did tell myself and reread richard dawkins every atheist verse

 

But oh mother i feel ashamed of myself when i see your picture on the

wall

Although every claim of your presence a bluff i would call

What am I going through and where am I headed

What do i do to get my ego shreded

 

Bhagawan Ramana said so do vichara and I tried

But the mind resists and every few seconds i cried

Am i filled with so much filth that purification is impossible

Or am i such a genious that abating my thought storm is not feasible.

 

Nah this mind should be silenced and the thoughts stopped

All that destroys calmness and equanimity must be dropped

I might not believe in god nor in realization

But there is a better way to go through life and thats through

de-ramification

 

What do i do to maintain the calm

When for bread and existence I ship in the storm

I dont want to give up and say realization is through prarabdha or destiny

If i cant calm my mind now, my having sown seeds in a previous birth

to calm it seems funny.

 

Guide me oh masters and my mother, if you do exist

I dont want intellect or siddhis through which i can persist

Just one boon i need and all the evils of this world i will resist

Tell me how my when thoughts arise upon them silence i can insist.

 

--Badri--

[Guest guest]

Hi Badrinath!

 

Sit down with a cup of tea or coffee in a quiet place

and quit the search, quit the panic, quit reading,

quit thinking there's anything more to do than sip the

coffee or tea and FEEL the fact that at this moment

you exist. Forget about " spirituality " ,

" purity " ...just SIT for a little while, just taste the

beverage, feel your butt against the chair or floor,

feel your breath in/out, feel a breeze against your

skin, listen to whatever sound comes to your

ear...give up that other stuff for a little while.

It'll all still be there after you've let it go.

Your're running and hitting a stone wall. Back away

from the wall and sit down in front of it. After the

coffee or tea you might see that you can walk around

the wall. Or you might see that there are steps in it

so that you can climb over. Or...it might disappear

completely...best wishes from one who's also run into

a stone wall and found the wall always wins until I

quit running into it, Steve.

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Pranams Badri-ji,

First of all - wonderful poem.

A few things came to mind reading it - my apologies for the long time-

lag in replying.

 

Will start with the opening line, " appalled by my lack of

spirituality " . There are two qualities which are best avoided by a

seeker - one of course is abhimana or an exaggerated sense of self-

worth, but at the same time, the other is atma-ninda or self-

depreciation. What Vedanta stresses is a healthy does of self-esteem.

 

Abhimana or Ahankara is related to external features- real or imagined

(– as in the case of vanity). Self-esteem and self-worth are

attributes that have for their basis my

own view of myself. It is an intrinsic self-acceptance, unrelated to

anything I possess materially. Self-image is enhanced by a life lived

with values. So " dharma " becomes extremely important.

 

Now, with regards to our attitude when we fail to meet up to our

ideals - what is stressed is three things - objectivity, non-

judgementality and cheerfulness. IN the words of the Bhagawad Gita

Uddhared atmanatmanam natmanam avasadayet - By your Higher Self, buoy

your lower self, your ego.

Swami Chinmayananda-ji would say - the spiritual path is a process of

evolution and not revolution - so hasten slowly! Be non-judgemental

about your ego's slip-ups. Be forgiving - most of all of yourself.

And no - this is NOT complacency but objectivity, and there is a world

of difference between the two.

So there is really no room for despondency in Vedanta. There has to be

a very healthy dose of cheerfulness - prashantachittaya - is the

expression in the Mundaka Up to describe this very important quality.

If Vedantic or spiritual pursuits are leaving someone feeling

frustrated, dejected, and despirited, then it is most unfortunate -

samsara can do this job much more effectively!

 

A well-known parable Swami Chinmayananda would talk about is about a

young lad who finds a letter written by his grandfather, telling him

about a grand treasure buried deep in one of the rooms in the old

family farmhouse. The letter is very detailed, all the descriptions of

the house are accurate and there is no doubt in his mind that was

written was true. SO he starts digging, and then some. After three

days of digging day and night, there is nothing. Just dirt.

What should this boy now do? Simple - gird up and dig! The story may

be too simplistic but the message is clear.

 

Another example Swamiji would give for this would be about a person

who is tightly holding onto a tree and shouting - " I am bound; help! " .

A passerby sees him wailing in agony and very goodnaturedly asks him

what is the problem. " I am stuck to this tree. Please save me. " this

guys sobs. The passerby smiles and says " - my good friend, you are not

really stuck to this tree - it is simply your notion that there are

some ties that are binding you to this tree. " " What! " - exclaims the

man - somewhat indignant - " cant you see all these ties, these

numerous ropes, - it easy for you to say - after all you have no

fetters that bind, you are standing a safe distance away from the

tree, and naturally do not quite understand my difficulty " The passer-

by replies " Sir, trust me, the only things binding you are in your

mind. Let go "

 

The simile I am sure is quite clear. These relationships we have

cultivated to this world, are simply notional binding

ties. " tyagenaike amrtatvam anasuh " the Upanishad thunders - yet we

lament. If not external, at least internal sannyasa to begin with, has

to be slowly cultivated.

 

Now someone else(nonduel-ji i think?) had asked - " I understand I am

awareness - now what? what do i do now? "

Similarly Nair-ji had also talked candidly about " understanding " I am

Brahman and in the same breath " getting irritated at my coleague " or

something to that effect.

This is where there is basically a mixing up of levels in this. If

understanding that I am not a karta/bhokta is clear, then " what do i

do now? " is a meaningless question;

What is needed is to further anchor that very understanding, ingrain

it - only then does it result in a transformation of one's

personality. Swami Paramarthananda-ji gives a beautiful example - you

put a spoon of sugar in a cup of your morning coffee. Now the cup of

coffee has sugar in it - you taste it and to your surprise it is not

sweet! Perhaps it is needs more sugar and so you add two more spoons -

it is still not sweet. Very frustrating. What is needed is " stirring "

( " kalarufication Swamiji will say smilingly) - The very first spoon of

sugar was enough. What is needed is to stir it - till the sweetness is

amalgamated into every drop of the beverage. Similarly, tat tvam asi

once understood has to be internalized. Nair-ji very rightly warns us

about complacency - understanding " aham brahmasmi " and shouting it

aloud ten thousand times is futile - one has to do mananam and

nidhidhyasanam to make sure that one gains " nishta " in that very

Jnanam, and perfunctory modes of thought/action are nullified.

 

And for this, shatsampatti becomes very crucial - building up of

qualities such as shama, dama, etc - which will enable the mind to

dwell on this teaching, and not get distracted. Now - most effective

of all is prayer. Our Mother ParAshakti is no myth - She is as Real as

You are - dont look for proof of Her existence - know She IS because

You ARE - the " search " is only to understand that you are nonseparate

from Her - so dont suppress your thoughts - you can't - but instead

channel them to Her - Surrender to Her in action and in thought - as

Nairji beautifully says - become a prayer yourself! - it is the

veritable " Brahmastra " in the war you are waging on samsara - the

benevolent Mother IS verily the Mukthi Nilaya!

 

Hari OM

Shri Gurubhyoh namah

Shyam

 

 

 

 

 

advaitin , " Badrinath.V.S " <badrinath wrote:

>

> Appalled by my lack of spirituality and purity of thoughts and

actions

> someone within me burst out with the below appended poem. Mailing the

> same to the group hoping someone out there might be able to

understand

> what i am going through and suggest corrective measures .

>

> I searched for God couldnt find proof for existence of one

> Longed for a guru but found none

> Read many books and confused myself and my brethren

> Became skeptic and argued about everything from tantra to zen