Guest guest Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 SIVAPARADHA KSHAMAPANASTOTRAM-5 Sloka IV) Vaardhakye chendriyaanaam vigatagatimatischadhidaivaditapaih Papai rogairviyogaistvanavasitavapuh praudhihinam ca dinam Mithyamohabhilashairbhramati mama mano dhurjatedhyanasunyam Kshantavyo me paradhah siva siva siva bhoh srimahadeva sambho. Vaardhakye cha = and in old age indriyaanaam vigatagatimatih = the one whose sense organs and mind have lost their potential atah = therefore adhidaivadi tapaih = due to afflictions caused by phenomenal forces, etc. (sun, rain, cold, etc., things and beings around me; and my own self) paapaih = by sinful actions rogaih = by diseases viyogaih = by losses tu anavasitavapuh = having a weak, emaciated body praudhihinam = without the vigour of youth cha = and deenam = distressed Mithya mohabhilashaih = by delusions and fanciful desires Mama = my Manah = mind Bhramati = wanders (and) Dhurjateh dhyana sunyam = is devoid of meditating on the Lord Kshantavyah= is to be forgiven (by you). When the hoards of sins and excesses lived in youth and middle age had marched away, I came to the state of old age. Then my sense organs became weak and all my inner subjective world of sentiments discovered a new courage to persecute and tyrannize me. (All bodily sufferings caused by the outer world are together called by a generic term, ‘disease of the body’ (vyadhi); similarly, all the sorrows that arise subjectively from one’s mental disturbances are called ‘sickness of the mind’ (aadhi). With my body smothered by diseases and my mind riddled with nameless fears, my life became truly unenviable. One by one my dear and near ones, friends, and acquaintances started leaving the world, pushing me into deeper and deeper despair. I dared not live alone in the world, now peopled with strangers, and yet, I was afraid to die! These inexpressible secret tensions made my old age miserable, insufferable, unendurable. Under the continuous onslaught of painful diseases from outside and voiceless sufferings from within, my mind, living continuously in its silent agonies and cruel tensions, grew weaker and weaker. Memories became dim and broken. My ability to think and judge gradually diminished. A very pitiable condition indeed! Eruptions of desire continued to scorch my mind, ad delusory misunderstandings burned and tortured my heart. If, at that time, I had some faith in You and a little devotion toward You, O Lord, no doubt I could have brought a lot of comfort into my chaotic within. But alas! Due to the power of my negative vasanas, it was impossible then for me to remember You, O Lord, and turn my attention unto You. O Jagadisvara! May such a tragic state never come to me! If there are sins in me that might invoke such a terrible punishment as to make me live and suffer to such a gruesome state of old age, forgive them all, O Lord! Beloved Lord! Dear Paramesvara! Whatever faults I have committed in the past, forgive them all, O All Merciful One! Forgive me. Forgive me. May I never get condemned to fall again into the hapless sorrows of a lonely old age, neglected by all, suffering alone – a dry existence wrapped up in pain and regret. To be continued… Pranams, Vanaja Ravi Nair Explore your hobbies and interests. Click here to begin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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