Fwd: Mercedes De Acosta Part 1

[Guest guest]

> HERE LIES THE HEART excerpts from her book of the same nameby

Mercedes De Acosta The author's first knowledge of the Bhagavan Sri

> Ramana Maharshi ...

>

> I used to go constantly to Adrian's. When we came from the studio

we often had dinner by ourselves in his house or he would give

parties and ask me to help him arrange the table or receive his

guests. At one of these dinners I met Paul Brunton who had written a

book called A Search in Secret India. When I read this book it had a

profound influence on me. In it I learned for the first time about

Ramana Maharshi, a great Indian saint and sage. It was as though

some emanation of this saint was projected out of the book to me.

> For days and nights after reading about him I could not think of

> anything else. I became, as it were, possessed by him. I could not

even talk of anything else. So much so, that as a joke, Adrian made

a drawing of me peering out from behind a group of Indians and wrote

under it A SEARCH IN SECRET INDIA.

>

> But nothing could distract me

> from the idea that I must go and meet this saint. From this time

on, although I ceased to speak too much about it, the whole

direction of my life turned toward India and away from Hollywood. I

felt that I would surely go there although there was nothing at this

time to indicate that I would. Nevertheless, I felt I would meet the

Maharshi and that this meeting would be the greatest experience of

my life.

>

> Voyage to India - Conversations with Meher Baba and Sri Aurobindo

And this time I wanted most of all to go to India to see the great

Indian sage and saint, Ramana Maharshi, and I felt that I must go at

once. I had very little money, far too little to risk going to

India, but something pushed me toward it. I went to the steamship

company and booked myself

> one of the cheapest cabins on an Indian ship, the S.S. Victoria

sailing from Genoa to Bombay toward the beginning of October. In the

meantime I flew to Dublin to see my sister Baba and her husband,

Freddie Shaw, and their two children Frederick and Mercedes. Like

many youngest sons, Fred

> die had no money, but he was a rem

> arkably good and fine man. They were living in a modest little

house and I never saw a family so devoted to each other or so happy

together. Alfredo Sides' wife Consuelo sailed with me to India.

>

>

Alfredo Sides' wife Consuelo sailed with me to India. She intended

to stay there several years with Sri Meher Baba, but Alfredo, when

he came to the station to see us off to Genoa, said, " Don't let

Consuelo do anything foolish and please take care of her. " Before

Alfredo, Consuelo had been married to Charles Nungesser, a dashing,

devil-may-care French World War I pilot of legend. He was reputed to

have spent more time in the hospital and in various women's beds

than he did in the air. He did however spend enough time in the air

to shoot down 43 German aircraft. He also talked himself into the

American Lafeyette Escadrille for one month, from July 14 until

August 15, 1916 where he relaxed and showed the American pilots and

crews his gold teeth, teeth that were necessitated after being shot

in the mouth during a dogfight with the Germans. After the war he

tried to fly west over the Atlantic at the same time that Lindbergh

flew east. Nungesser was lost on the flight. But it was not until

she married the unmarriageable Alfredo that we became close friends.

I will never know what made Alfredo suddenly marry. He was out of

character in doing so and was certainly not the husband for

Consuelo.

 

I had booked passage to Ceylon intending from there to cross over to

southern India and go directly to Tiruvannamalai where Ramana

Maharshi lived. But when the ship called at Bombay, Princess Norina

Matchabelli came on board to see me with a message from Meher Baba

saying that Consuelo and I must get off the ship and come to see him

in Ahmednagar, about two hours from Bombay. I did not want to do

this as my real purpose in India was to see the Maharshi, and I was

impatient to get to him. But Consuelo was going to Baba and she and

Norina pressed me to do the same. It was an appallingly hot day and

I had a migraine headache, so I let them pack my things and, in a

daze, followed them off the boat. I remember edging my way through

masses of people whose dark faces stood out in the brilliant

sunlight against the white which the men wore. There was also a

great deal of color among the crowds -- turbans and saris of

brilliant pinks, blues, greens, every imaginable color, and after

the incessant black one sees worn in occidental countries, Bombay

gave me the impression of a gay festival. The next day we motored to

Baba's ashram in Ahmednagar. This a place he had built a number of

years ago, even before he had European disciples. He had built it

for what are called in India " God-mad men and women " These are

people who become possessed by God and the spiritual life, and go

out of their minds. A great many of them had become insane at an

early age. Thousands of them wander all over India, sleep in the

fields and are fed by anyone who gives them food. Most of them are

harmless, but their physical condition becomes tragic. Although they

are considered holy and like the Sacred Cow allowed privileges, down

through the ages nothing had been done about them by the government

or by individuals.

 

Meher Baba is the first person in India who has taken care of them

and attempted to cure them. He sends his Mandali (men disciples)

throughout India to bring as many of them as they can to his ashram.

Here he puts them in order physically, and then works spiritually

and psychologically to cure them. He has cured hundreds of them and

many of them, after coming to their senses, have become his Mandali

and helped to cure others. When I arrived in Ahmednagar, Baba had a

great compound where about five thousand of these mad people lived.

I saw him bathe many of them, a technique he uses to work

spiritually through water, which seems to calm a great many of them

in an extraordinary fashion. I was very much impressed by these

sessions.

 

I was, however, not at all happy my first night in the ashram. Baba

had many times spoken to me about it, and he had always promised me

that if I ever went there I would have a room or a cabin of my own.

This point had been brought up because Norina had told me that all

the women slept in dormitories. I am a poor sleeper and I knew that

under these conditions I would not be able to sleep. Also I have a

horror of a lot of women herded together. This is one of the reasons

why I have always hated convents and the life of nuns and any kind

of dormitory school life. So I was extremely upset when I was told I

would have to sleep in a dormitory.

I mentioned this to Norina, who brushed my objections aside and said

that I had to be " like everyone else. " Looking back on it now I

realize that I had no right to expect special treatment. Baba was

possibly teaching me a lesson, but I felt that a man who was a

spiritual teacher should not break his word.

 

In any case I spent a miserable night. The heat was terrific, many

of the women snored, and all of them had pots under their beds which

they used during the night.

 

This was about the last straw for me. I arose at five and I was in

no good mood when Norina told me that Baba expected Consuelo and me

to stay with him for five years. Five years! " I cried. " Are you out

of your mind? I came to India to see the Maharshi and I am leaving

here today. " I went to Baba's cabin. He was sitting on the floor in

the Buddha posture with bare feet and a garland of flowers around

his neck.

He embraced me warmly and I sat down on the floor before him. He

spelled out on his board, " I see you have slept badly. " I shrugged

my shoulders. I was not going into all that again. He continued. " I

want you and Consuelo to stay here with me for five years. I hope

you will agree to this. "

 

" I regret terribly to have to refuse you this request. I could not

possibly remain here and I must not deceive you, Baba - In case you

don't already know it, I must tell you I came to India to see Ramana

Maharshi. "