Ego and Times of India

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http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Mind_over_Matter/Mind_Set_Is_ego_necessary/ar\

ticleshow/3508877.cms

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advaitajnana , " Tony OClery " <aoclery wrote:

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http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Mind_over_Matter/Mind_Set_Is_ego_necessary/ar\

ticleshow/3508877.cms

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Ego causes most of the problems we face in dealing with others. Once

we get rid of it, our true nature emerges, says John Bendix

Mind Set

Mind Set: Is ego necessary?

 

 

To analyse the breakdown of an intimate relationship is a daunting

task. Is it worth the effort? No one can answer this except the person

caught up in such a circumstance. Even then, no one can be sure if

their efforts will give them a better understanding of this complex

dynamics. By delving into the connections that people have in their

relationships, more mysteries than truths expose themselves.

 

We start to realise the many different lines of communication that are

available to each partner. Which ones are used and the manner in which

they are used are open to each individual and hence the complexity.

There is no formula to predict how a relationship may turn out. But

certain truths did present themselves to me.

 

By necessity, I researched all the available data and case histories

that dealt with the `walk away wife' phenomenon. I wanted all the

information possible to try and figure out why my wife of 21 years

wanted out of our marriage. Certain questions kept coming back to me.

Did she fall out of love with me just like that? Was it depression,

mid-life crisis, hormonal imbalances? Was I looking for reasons or

just excuses to explain a sudden marriage break-up? My sons and I were

at a loss to come to any cognitive reasons for such irrational events.

Then the truth hit me.

 

There were no real answers or solutions on the conscious level of the

mind. I had to go beyond the mind of thoughts to the core of the

problem, the ego. The ego that the mind creates in order to give it a

means to confront the onslaught of the outside world. A world that it

feels threatened by. Certainly, fear has its place in the dissolution

of relationships, just as it does in most of our activities.

 

I began to sense her fears. Fear of the future, of being inadequate,

of time slipping by. I examined my fear of the future, of being alone,

of divorce procedures, of isolation from my children or raising them

alone. I realised that time, contributes greatly to fear. The past no

longer exists except as bits of memory and the future is not here and

is only an image in our mind of what might be. The only time that

really exists is the present moment.

 

There are as many ways to view the world as there are persons in it.

The point of perspective is not how you view it but from where you

view it. Through the evolution of the brain of modern man, the mind

was created. A mind that is aware of its own thoughts. The mind is

also in-charge of protecting the organism it inhabits. Working with

the automatic system, which controls involuntary responses and

functions, it creates defence mechanisms, which ensure the organism's

survival.

 

To assist in the processing of the stimuli received from the senses

and the responses to the outside world, the mind has created what is

referred to as the ego. One that is geared to take on the onslaught of

the world. It has a defensive nature that is constantly on alert for

threats and attacks.

 

The ego interprets the information presented to it by the senses and

cognetively assesses them and through the mind, produces thought.

These thoughts are then transformed, by the ego, into emotions.

Emotions are the body's response to thoughts. Our emotions arise out

of these thoughts.

 

The problems created in man's responses to world are created by the

ego going too far in its nature to perceive what is threatening to the

organism and its self. It begins to believe it's who we really are. A

fallacy that creates untold damage to the world it inhabits. By

believing itself to be who we are, it will also defend itself against

all possible threats.

 

Mental threats such as verbal assault can be viewed by the ego as

possibly diminishing its foothold as the self. The thoughts created in

response can create emotions such as hostility towards the person

verbally attacking it. What real damage can the verbal assault have

upon the organism? None, for it is a imagined threat but the ego does

not differentiate between real and imagined and still feels threatened.

 

These type of emotions are fed back to the ego who now puts itself on

a higher level of threat alertness. A cycle has been created and

induces the ego to perceive more and more stimuli as possible threats.

That which we train our body and minds to do, can more easily be done.

The world is now perceived to be a hostile entity with imagined

threats all around us.

 

All of us go through life at a level of threat alertness designed by

our own egos. Some do not let such perceived threats dictate their

responses while others are ready to take offence to the point of

violence. It is the level of dysfunction that we allow the ego to

obtain that determines our reactions. A runaway ego may even go to the

state of mental paranoia. It is not what is said to us, felt, or

thought about us that does harm, it is the ego's reaction that creates

the damage.

 

The ego is in a constant state of self-enhancement to make itself feel

more secure. It seeks to acquire more material goods, power, prestige,

and so on. The emotional feelings, such as contentment, happiness, and

fulfilment, that it receives in feedback from its acquisitions further

push the ego to seek more. But just like drug addiction, this feeling

is temporary. It is an insatiable thirst. The ego wants more at any cost.

 

However, we can all do something to alleviate this dysfunction. But it

cannot be done on the intellectual level. The mind is ill-equipped in

this pursuit. By taking notice of how our mind and ego work, we can

begin to function at a higher level.

 

From the higher self, we begin to see the world as it really is

without the judgmental nature of the mind interfering. The mind

differentiates the world into groups with similar attributes, for that

is one of its purposes. But the ego goes further and separates them.

The higher self sees the world and its different features but does not

considerate them as separate entities. It sees the connection that all

things share. They are part of the whole all creation.

 

The higher self sees itself as a part of this whole. This underlying

truth transforms the way we interact with the world around us. This is

the essence of compassion. The deep rooted sense that we are all

connected. Who would do harm to someone or something that they know

they are connected to or a part of?

 

My search for answers led me to see that the ego causes most of man's

problems in dealing with one another. When we dispense with the ego,

our true nature is brought forth.

 

(John Bendix is a spiritual writer based in the US)