AT THE FEET OF BHAGAVAN

November 27, 2004

THE MAHARSHI

September/October 1993Vol. 3 - No. 5

Produced & Edited byDennis HartelDr. Anil K. Sharma

At The Feet Of Bhagavan by T. K. Sundaresa Iyer

T. K. Sundaresa Iyer, an especially devoted and sincere sadhaka of the highest order, enjoyed in a special way the graciousness and guidance of Bhagavan. Sri T. K. S. lived continuously in the presence of the Maharshi and passed away in 1965 in Sri Ramana Nagar after a lifetime with Bhagavan. In the following article, taken from the book of the same name, his heartfelt devotion is expressed in beautiful, simple language as he pays homage to his Guru.

IT WAS IN 1908 that I first contacted Sri Ramana Maharshi, then in the Virupaksha Cave, when I was a boy of twelve. Had you seen him in those days, you would hardly have taken him for a mere human being. His figure was a statue of burnished gold. He simply sat and sat, and rarely spoke. The words he spoke on any day could easily be counted. He had an enchanting personality that shed a captivating lustre on all, and a life-giving current flowed from him charging all those nearby, while his sparkling eyes irrigated those around him with the nectar of his Being.

Peace, peace, peace. Now you have lost your individuality in him; he absorbs you, is your all, is the All. I remember (how well!) the first song I sang before him at that time: it was the famous Namasivayapadikam commencing "Matrupatrenakkinri", the gift of the great Saint Sri Sundaramurti Swamigal. From then on he had me linked inseparably to himself. I know one and only one thing, and that is that he alone exists as the Divine and all else has only the appearance of existence, but in reality is not.

I never had to leave Tiruvannamalai after my nineteenth year. Sri Kavyakanta Ganapati Muni was at that time in Tiruvannamalai; his Vaidika Sabha Society was very active and he gave a series of discourses on the Vedas. His magnetic personality and exposition of the greatness of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi so deeply impressed me that I decided to study the Vedas at his feet and was gladly accepted as a student. He was then living in the Mango Tree Cave below the Virupaksha Cave on the hill. For eight years I studied the scriptures under him; daily we visited the Maharshi together and enjoyed the benefit of his presence.

After the Maharshi's mother, Alagammal, passed away, Sri Maharshi came down the hill and the present Ashrama came into being. Sri Kavyakanta and his pupils would come down to the Maharshi's abode, where there would be memorable and scintillating discussions. When the Muni was in the hall, Sri Maharshi could be seen in the full bloom of his being. The discussion ranged across various schools of thought and philosophy and it was a period of great literary activity at the Ashrama. Besides Kavyakanta, a host of others used to be in the hall which was open all hours of the day and night. Among them were Kapali Sastry, Muruganar, Lakshmana Sarma, Arunachala Sastriar of the Madras Gita fame, Munagala Venkataramiah (the late Swami Ramanananda Saraswathi, the author of Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi) and Sivaprakasam Pillai. It was then the world of freedom of Sri Ramana, our Lord, Guru and very Self. Our lives were based and turned upon that one central Personality. Nothing gave us greater joy than to be in his presence as often as possible and to do his bidding.

Thus did time pass until 1929 when, on leaving Tiruvannamalai for good, Sri Kavyakanta made me over to the care of Sri Maharshi and in the very first letter he wrote asked Bhagavan to take particular care of me. I was at school when that letter was received and the Maharshi tucked it under his cushion. He pulled it out, read it to me when I returned from school and said, "Look here, you must not run away from here. I am answerable to Nayana; he may come at any time and claim you from me."

Our happiness in the presence of Sri Bhagavan was comparable to the joy of the hosts of Siva on Mount Kailasa. Sri Bhagavan used to say, "Kailasa is the abode of Siva; Arunachala is Siva Himself. Even in Kailasa things are as they are with us here. Devotees go to Siva, worship Him, serve Him, and hear from him the interpretation of the Vedas and Vedanta day in and day out." So it was Kailasa at the foot of the Arunachala Hill, and Arunachala Paramatma in human form was Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi.

In May 1933 on my 36th birthday, after the usual bath and prayers, I sat in Sri Bhagavan's presence in a pensive mood. I addressed a prayer in the Tamil viruttam style to Sri Bhagavan complaining, "O Bhagavan, I have completed three-and-a- half decades and yet have not had the experience of the real you. Pray let me have this day the touch of your grace." Handing over this slip of paper I prostrated before him. Bhagavan bade me sit down and gazed steadily at me; I was still in a pensive and meditative mood. All of a sudden I lost body-consciousness and was absorbed in Sri Maharshi. I was turned inward and the voice of Bhagavan bade me see whatever I desired. I felt that if I could have the darshan of Sri Rama my life would be fruitful, as I was very much devoted to Sri Rama. I had then immediately a darshan of Sri Rama, with Sita, Lakshmana, Bharata, Satrughna and Hanuman. The ecstasy of the vision defied description; I simply sat on with Maharshi perhaps gazing on me without my being aware of his gaze. Two hours may thus have passed in pin-drop silence, lost in the vision, until it vanished. I prostrated at the feet of Sri Maharshi, with tears of ecstasy in my eyes and my hair standing on end. To Bhagavan's enquiry I replied that I, of course, had seen my dear Rama.

Bhagavan asked me to fetch the book Dakshinamurti Ashtotra, which I had not read, and opening a page therein he gave it to me to read. The fifth name from the last read "Om Sri Yoga Pattabhiramaya namaha." Bhagavan then said, "Sri Rama is Dakshinamurti, and Dakshinamurti is Sri Rama. Do you know where Ayodhya is? The Vedas say it is in the sun, and describe it is as ashtachakra navadwara devanam purayodhya (the gods' city is Ayodhya with eight corners and nine gates). Arunachala is also ashtachakra puri (eight-cornered city), and Lord Arunachala is Sri Rama as well as Dakshinamurti. One has no need to go to the sun to see Ayodhya or Sri Rama, but one may see them here and now."

Thus did Sri Ramana once appear to me as Sri Rama, proving once again the age-old adage that Mahatmas can give darshan as any beloved form (see Sri Ramana Gita, Ch. 18, v. 26). In the Sri Krishna Avatara, did not Bhagavan grant Hanuman the vision of Sri Rama? Later I realised that the vision was given to me as painted in Sri Tyagabrahmam's picture of Sri Rama, though not for a moment can I equate myself with Sri Tyagaraja.

How the Mantra Came

The mantra "Om namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya" fascinated me greatly in my early days; it so delighted me that I had always a vision of Sri Krishna in my mind. I had a premonition that this body would pass away in its fortieth year and I wanted to have a darshan of the Lord before that time. I fasted and practised devotion to Vasudeva incessantly; I read Sri Bhagavad Gita and Srimad Bhagavatam with great delight. Then when I read in the Gita, "Jnani tvatmaiva me matam" ("In my view, the Jnani is my own Self") I was greatly delighted. This line of thought came to me: "While I have at hand Bhagavan Sri Ramana, who is himself Vasudeva, why should I worship Vasudeva separately?" Be it noted that all this was in my early days before settling with Bhagavan at his Ashrama. So I wanted one single mantra, a single deity (devata ), and a single scripture, so that there might be no conflict of loyalties. Sri Ramana Paramatman became easily the God to worship, his collected works easily became the gospel; as for the mantra, it struck me intuitively that "Om namo Bhagavate Sri Ramanaya" might be an exact parallel to "Om namo Bhagavate Vasudevaya."

I counted the letters in this new mantra, and was very happy to find it also contained twelve letters; I told this all to Sri Bhagavan, and he gave the mantra his approval.

Advanced practicers (sadhakas) and thinkers may laugh at this and say, "Why do you need a mantra while the Ocean of Bliss is there to be immersed in directly?" I confess that in this I was trying to conform to the traditional method of practice (upasana) which forms one of the main elements in bhakti (devotion). Bhagavan has revealed his true nature as the All-Witness, yet there is the explicit injunction that Advaita must be only in the attitude and never be interpreted in outer action. This is how the mantra first came out.

Where is the Divine World?

When studying the Upanishads in my early days, I always visualised the divine abode in the sun god and was performing the practices enjoined in certain texts. Even later, after settling at the abode of Sri Maharshi, I continued this practice (upasana). It proved very hard to succeed in this process and I had to undergo very trying experiences, so I referred the whole matter to Bhagavan. "So you want to go to the divine world ?" asked he. "That is what I am trying to obtain; that is what the scriptures prescribe," I answered. "But where are you now ?" the Master asked. I replied, "I am in your presence.Poor thing! You are here and now in the divine world, and you want to obtain it elsewhere! Know that to be the divine world where one is firmly established in the Divine. Such a one is full (purna); he encompasses and transcends all that is manifest. He is the substratum of the screen on which the whole manifestation runs like the picture film. Whether moving pictures run or not, the screen is always there and is never affected by the action of the pictures. You are here and now in the divine world. You are like a thirsty man wanting to drink, while he is all the time standing neck deep in the Ganga. Give up all efforts and surrender. Let the 'I' that wants the divine world die, and the Divine in you will be realised here and now. For it is already in you as the Self, not different from the Divine (Brahman), nameless and formless. It is already in you, and how are you to obtain that which ever remains obtained? The Self (atman) in you is surely not different from US." Thus spoke Bhagavan.

"So then, Bhagavan says that he is the Self, (kutastha) in this, the field of this soul (jiva), that this is already established in Bhagavan as such, so this soul need do nothing but give up the sense of being a separate soul?" I asked, prostrating before Bhagavan.

"Yes, yes," he replied, "that is what one must do to drop the ego-sense. If that is done the Self will be experienced as 'I-I' here and now and at all times. There will be no going into the divine world or coming out of it. You will be as you really are. This is the practice (sadhana) and this is the perfection (siddhi) too."

This teaching of Sri Bhagavan, himself being the divine world, is recorded for the benefit of all who are ever in Him. Our hearts were kindled to deep affection while he taught us by word and example, while he silently showered the nectar dew of grace upon us all. Today they turn to Him within, by day and night, no less of old; and they rejoice to find that grace wells up from the fountain of the one Self who alone is all wisdom, love and power.

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