MAHARSHI 1-2/1999

December 27, 2004

THE MAHARSHI

January/February 1999 Vol. 9 - No. 1

Produced & Edited byDennis HartelDr. Anil K. Sharma

Eternal BhagavanBy Shantammal - Part III

When I first came to Bhagavan, I saw a bright light, like the sun, and Bhagavan was in the midst of it. Later on I used to see a light between my eyebrows. Once I saw a big light come out from Bhagavan's head and fill the hall. In that light everything disappeared, including Bhagavan. Only the feeling of 'I' was floating in the luminous void.

When I related these experiences to Bhagavan, he said: "Yes, such visions do occur. To know how you look you must look into a mirror, but don't take that reflection to be yourself. What is perceived by our senses and mind is never the truth. All visions are mere mental creations, and if you believe in them, your progress ceases. Inquire to whom the visions occur, who is their witness. Free from all thoughts, stay in pure awareness. Out of that don't move."

When I cooked, Bhagavan would come to the kitchen to taste the food and see whether the seasoning was just right. Once he said: "The Maharajas employ special taste experts and pay them huge salaries. I wonder what will be my pay."

"I am a beggar, Bhagavan, and all a beggar can offer is her life," I said, and Bhagavan nodded lovingly.

One of the visitors was leaving the Ashram. He stood before Bhagavan with folded hands and prayed: "I am going far away. I do not know when I shall be coming back, and if at all I shall be allowed to see your holy face again in this life. I am so much less fortunate than those who have the benefit of your constant presence. How can you help me, a sinner in a distant corner of the world, unless you think of me? I implore you, give me a place in your mind."

Bhagavan replied: "A Jnani has no mind. How can one without a mind remember or even think? This man goes somewhere and I have to go there and look after him? Can I keep on remembering all these prayers? Well, I shall transmit your prayer to the Lord of the Universe. He will look after you. It is His business."

After the devotee departed, Bhagavan turned towards us and said: "People imagine that the devotees crowding around a Jnani get special favors from him. If a guru shows partiality, how can he be a Jnani? Is he so foolish as to be flattered by people's attendance on him and the service they do? Does distance matter? The guru is pleased with him only who gives himself up entirely, who abandons his ego forever. Such a man is taken care of wherever he may be. He need not pray. God looks after him unasked. The frog lives by the side of the fragrant lotus, but it is the bee who gets the honey."

One day, when I was still new in the kitchen, I served Bhagavan with a few more pieces of potato than the rest. Bhagavan noticed it and got very angry with me. He turned his face away and would not look at those who were serving food. I could not make out the cause of his anger and wondered who it was who had offended him. The women who worked in the kitchen would collect around him to take leave of him in the evening after the work was over. Usually he would exchange a few words with us, inquire who was accompanying us, whether we had a lantern, and so on. That evening he gave me a sign to come near.

"What did you do tonight?"

"I don't know, Swami, have I done something wrong?

"You served me more curry than others."

"What does it matter? I did it with love and devotion."

"I felt ashamed to eat more than others. Have you come all this way to stuff me with food? You should always serve me less than others."

"But, Bhagavan, how can I treat you worse than others?"

"Is this the way to please me? Do you hope to earn grace through a potato curry?"

"Out of my love for you I committed a blunder. Forgive me, Bhagavan, I shall respect your wishes."

"The more you love my people, the more you love me," said Bhagavan, and the matter was closed. A good lesson was learned and never forgotten.

Two devotees of Swami Vilakshananda, a husband and wife, came to Bhagavan. They told Bhagavan that their guru had asked them to repeat Rama's name constantly and surrender the merit of it at the guru's feet. Bhagavan laughed, and said: "If the guru takes the benefit, what remains with the devotee? It is like keeping the capital, but abandoning the interest." Muruganar, who was present, said: "Their guru takes the name, which the interest, and leaves the mind, which is the capital. Bhagavan robs us of both the interest and the capital." As he talked tears were flowing in a stream from his eyes.

Two women came from Kumbakonam to meet Bhagavan. One of them was a guru and the other her disciple. They were leaving by train the same evening. In the afternoon the disciple brought her guru into the Hall and made an elaborate seat for her in front of Bhagavan. Every now and then the disciple would go up to Bhagavan's sofa and whisper. "In everything, she is just like you, Swami...she is in the same state as yourself.... Please let us have your blessings.... Will you teach us briefly the path of salvation? What is attachment? How to be free from Maya?" She was going on like this for quite a long time. Bhagavan never replied. Evening was nearing. The disciple felt hurt. "Swami, please instruct us...Swami, proceed with initiation quickly, it is getting late.... Be quick, Swami. You know we have to catch the train. Hurry!" The poor lady was getting desperate. "At least tell us something. They all speak of ignorance, what is ignorance?" Bhagavan turned to Muruganar and, in his mercy, said: "Ask her to inquire within. Who is ignorant?" Muruganar told them: "Now you go, your initiation is over." And they went away.

Bhagavan talked about it later: "Everything must be done in a hurry. Everybody has some train to catch. They visit Swami in a rush and want to carry away a parcel of liberation. They read something here and there and think they are quite learned." (Whenever there was a chance to snub our ego, Bhagavan would never miss it). He continued: "Before the people come here, everyone has the most sincere desire to work for his own liberation, but when they settle down, the ego goes to their heads and they forget why they came. They imagine they are doing me great service by feeding me and think altogether too much of themselves. The feeling of self-importance that they have when they serve their guru destroys their hope of enlightenment. Only humility can destroy the ego. The ego keeps you far away from God. The door to God is open, but the lintel is very low. To enter one has to bend. Are you doing me greater service than the man who for years was like my shadow? What was the good of it? The same man went to court against me and got me cross-examined! Even if a trace of ego is left in the mind it will rapidly increase and ruin you spiritually."

(To be concluded) - from Ramana Smrti Souvenir

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