'I' and 'I-I' - A Reader's Query

July 8, 2005

written by David Godman from: 'I' and 'I-I' - A Reader's Query

(First published in The Mountain Path, 1991, pp. 79-88.)

As a conclusion, it will be appropriate to include an extract from Guru Ramana. In one of his conversations with Bhagavan, S. S. Cohen asked several questions about the nature of the 'I-I'. In his answers, Bhagavan made several interesting comments, many of which are not recorded elsewhere in the Ramana literature.

Mr C: Vivekachudamani speaks of the 'I-I' consciousness as eternally shining in the Heart, but no one is aware of it. Bhagavan: Yes, all men without exception have it, in whatever state they may be - the waking, dreaming and dreamless sleep - and whether they are conscious of it or not. C: In the 'Talks' section of Sat Darshana Bhashya, the 'I-I' is referred to as the Absolute Consciousness, yet Bhagavan once told me that any realisation before Sahaja Nirvikalpa is intellectual. B: Yes, the 'I-I' consciousness is the Absolute. Though it comes before Sahaja, there is in it as in Sahaja itself the subtle intellect; (27) the difference being that in the latter [sahaja] the sense of forms disappear, which is not the case in the former.

This answer suggests an interesting distinction between the 'I-I' consciousness and kevala nirvikalpa samadhi, both of which, according to Bhagavan, are temporary experiences of the Self. Nirvikalpa means 'no differences', so in kevala nirvikalpa samadhi no names or forms are perceived. However, on the basis of this answer, one can say that forms are still perceived during the 'I-I' experience. In his writings Bhagavan has said that self-enquiry leads to the experience of aham sphurana, and that abidance in the aham sphurana leads on to a full realisation of the sahaja nirvikalpa state. He was less positive about kevala nirvikalpa samadhi, often saying that it was a temporary state, and that the mind would eventually re-emerge from it. He generally tried to discourage devotees from trying to reach this state since he regarded it as something akin to an unproductive detour.(28) One can infer from his remarks and writings that self-enquiry, properly undertaken, bypasses this kevala nirvikalpa state completely and reaches the sahaja state via the alternate route of the aham sphurana experience. Mr. Cohen received confirmation of this as he continued his conversation with Bhagavan:

C: Bhagavan, you said yesterday that there exists in the human body a hole as small as a pinpoint, from which consciousness always bubbles out to the body. Is it open or shut? B: It is always shut, being the knot of ignorance which ties the body to consciousness. When the mind drops away in the temporary Kevala Nirvikalpa it opens but shuts again. In Sahaja it remains always open. C: How is it during the experience of 'I-I' consciousness? B: This consciousness is the key which opens it permanently.

This opening process may be the same one that was described by Bhagavan in his letter to Ganapati Muni, which I quoted earlier. Part of it read: 'When the mind having pure sattva as its characteristic remains attending to the aham sphurana, which is the sign of the forthcoming direct experience of the Self, the downward-facing Heart becomes upward-facing and remains in the form of That.' If 'the Heart becomes upward-facing' is the equivalent of this small consciousness-emitting hole opening, then this is another instance of Bhagavan saying that abidance in the aham sphurana is the way to make the Heart open permanently. When the Heart is permanently open, the world, which was previously assumed to be external, is experienced not as separate names and forms, but as one's own Self, as the immanent Brahman. In nirvikalpa samadhi, according to Bhagavan, the Heart temporarily opens to admit the mind, but then closes again. Thus the nirvikalpa experience of the Self is both limited (in so far as it is temporary) and 'internal'. Because the Heart remains closed, the sahaja experience of the world being Brahman is absent. There is merely an internal awareness of one's real nature that lasts as long as the duration of the samadhi. As mentioned before, in the aham sphurana experience, external awareness is retained, but names and forms continue to be perceived as names and forms until the 'I' finally dies in the Heart. One final point needs to be stressed. In Ulladu Narpadu, Upadesa Undiyar and Vichara Sangraham Bhagavan makes the point that it is self-enquiry that leads to aham sphurana. Nowhere is it mentioned in these texts that other methods lead to this state. This point is made again in the concluding section of Mr. Cohen's talk with Bhagavan:

C: How to reach that Centre where what you call the ultimate consciousness- the 'I-I' - arises? Is it by simply thinking 'Who am I?' B: Yes, it will take you up. You must do it with a calm mind - mental calmness is essential. C: How does that consciousness manifest when that Centre - the Heart - is reached? Will I recognise it? B: Certainly, as pure consciousness, free from all thought. It is pure unbroken awareness of your own Self, rather of Being - there is no mistaking it when pure. C: Is the vibratory movement of the Centre felt simultaneously with the experience of Pure Consciousness, or before, or after it? B: They are both one and the same. But sphurana can be felt in a subtle way even when meditation has sufficiently established and deepened, and the ultimate consciousness is very near, or during a sudden fright or great shock, when the mind comes to a standstill. It draws attention to itself, so that the meditator's mind, rendered sensitive by calmness, may become aware of it, gravitate toward it, and finally plunge into it, the Self. C: Is the 'I-I' consciousness Self-realisation? B: It is a prelude to it: when it becomes permanent Sahaja it is Self-realisation, Liberation. (29)

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