Hunting the 'I',

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Many of them are blessed with various glimpses ofthe higher life, which they have entered. These carrythe stamp of a genuine change of consciousness, andof course the sadhaka is happy, and convinced that hehas made real progress. There is no harm in it, becausehe soon has to face the fact that his 'experience' is fadingaway, never to return. When this happens again and again,he learns to understand these sparks as what they are,glimpses from another dimension which want to teach himto discriminate between the different dimensions but whichalso lure him on in his spiritual endeavour. They only becomea pitfall, when he, by vanity or impatience, gets stuck in oneof them, taking it for final Realisation. Then his further progress is blocked.The mark by which this pitfall is recognised is 'I' have realised...'This 'I' can only be a 'wrong I', because it is not the 'I' that realises....With this idea he gives his 'personal I' a strong chance todevelop into a 'spiritual I', which is much worse than hisoriginal quite ordinary 'I', strenghtened by all his previousspiritual effort. The result is a spiritual pride, the worse themore advanced the sadhaka has become, because his attainments,

serve only to confirm his 'right' to be proud of his success.But even if he perceives the gentle Voice from within, warning himagainst his trend going on in him and reminding him of the secretof real 'attainment', silent humility, and even if he is quite prepared toaccept the warning, there is still the risk that the cunning ego now isconcealing itself behind his pride in his humility!There is only one remedy against these and all other pitfalls onthe Path to Realisation: Alert Awareness, relentlessly focussingon the treacherous ego-I.....The most cunning pitfall on the path of sadhaka is the last one,hidden in Realisation Itself.The first Revelation of the Self is temporary."Jnana, once revealed, needs timeto steady itself." (Talks, 141)The danger is not in the sliding back; it is natural to most sadhakas and is metquite naturally by continuing one's practice faithfully, which in its turn willlead to further Revelations of the Self until finally there is no sadhaka left,but the Self only.If, on the other hand, the sadhaka tries to 'hold on' to that firstRevelation, in spite of his Inner Guide warning him, (Who is holdingon?), then the ego-I slinks again in where the Self is veiled again and distortsthe Revelation of the Self into the cry of victory: 'I have realised!'Blindfolded by the Bliss of the final 'success' (whose success?) henever stops to scrutinize his condition and thus never finds out the truth; Thathe became a yoga-bhrashtha, one who has fallen out of his yoga, his 'union'.The new and definitive disguise of his ego-I is 'the Guru', and thislast and most powerful pitfall never releases him, because henever recognises that he is its victim.There are nowadays many whose Guru-pitfall caught them evenmuch earlier on their path.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Lucy Cornelssen: Hunting the 'I', from pp.48-51~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~