A Sadhu's Reminiscences of Ramana Maharshi, #9

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After I had been meditating in the presence of Bhagavan for some months, I reached a certain stage when I would be overcome by fear. I asked Bhagavan about this. I was assured by some of those present in the Hall at the time, not of course by Bhagavan, that this was all wrong and quite absurd. In fact they laughed at me for my foolishness. Bhagavan was not so amused. He explained that it was the ego that experienced the fear as it felt that it was gradually losing its grip. It was, in fact, dying, and naturally resented it. He asked me, "To whom is the fear? It is all due to the habit of identifying the body with the Self. Repeated experience of separation from this idea will make one familiar with this state and fear will then automatically cease." Since then I have come to realize that Bhagavan mentions this fear in the second verse of the Ulladu Narpadu:

 

"Tis only those who fear death intensely take refuge at the feet of the Lord."

In fact it is really a good sign when one is following the method of self-enquiry, though it must be overcome.

 

Afterwards some of the scoffers came up to me secretly and said that they had the same trouble and what were they to do about it? This conversation of mine with Bhagavan must have been recorded somewhere, for still people come to me to ask about it. There is the one and only answer to this in the method taught by Bhagavan: enquire to whom is the fear, get behind it to the witness and fear will automatically cease.

 

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---A Saddhu's Reminiscences of Ramana MaharshiBy Saddhu Arunachala (A.W. Chadwick)

(pp. 46-47)