having neither likes nor dislikes

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Day by Day with Bhagavan________22-11-45

Morning (concluded)"Even before I came here I knew of the power of tobacco.When the Periyar dam was constructed and the water firstallowed to pass in the canals, the water came on in a floodand there was plenty of fish in the water. The fishermen usedto divert the water by means of a side channel and let it into apond into which they had thrown a number of bundles oftobacco stems, i.e., the stumps after the leaves had been utilisedfor making cigars. The moment the fish got into the pondthey became unconscious or dead on account of the poison ofthe tobacco and began to float. And the fishermen got heapsof fish in this way. Afterwards I came across the followingstanza in (non-english script) (Thayumanavar) which alludes to theabove practice of fishermen (in n-e script).(n-e script)Translation: I am struggling like the fish caught in thepond whose waters diverted from the flood had been poisonedby flesh-eaters. Is it possible for me to understand your hiddenkindness. Oh Almighty, who lying concealed in my heart ismoving me about like a puppet?"After this, at Dr. Srinivasa Rao's request, Bhagavanexplained the stanza occurring at the end of (n-e s.)commencing (n-e s.) and the last four stanzasin (n-e s.) of (n-e s.) (Thayumanavar).Later in the morning, at Rishikesananda's request Bhagavanrecounted his first experience of the Self in his upstairs room atMadura. "When I lay down with limbs outstretched and mentallyenacted the death scene and realised that the body would be takenand cremated and yet I would live, some force, call it atmic poweror anything else, rose within me and took possession of me. Withthat, I was reborn and I became a new man. I became indifferentto everything afterwards, having neither likes nor dislikes." Dr.Srinivasa Rao asked Bhagavan how he first came to have bhakti.Bhagavan replied, "The first thing that evoked bhakti in me wasthe book `Periya Puranam', which I came across in my house,which belonged to a neighbour and which I read through. It washowever only after the experience described above that I used togo daily to the temple and pray that I should become devoted likeone of the sixty-three saints (Nayanmar) of `Periya Puranam'."