Guest guest Posted August 16, 2009 Report Share Posted August 16, 2009 By any other name...An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him."What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor."Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?""A rose?" asked the neighbor."Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?" The one I want to Marry...A young man finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. He tells his mother he wants her to meet his fiance, but he wants to make a bit of a game out of it. He says he'll bring the girl over with two other women and see if his mother can guess which is the one he wants to marry. His mother agrees to the game.That night, he shows up at his mother's house with three beautiful young ladies. They all sit down on the couch, and everyone has a wonderful evening talking and getting to know each other.At the end of the evening, the young man asks his mother, 'OK, Mom, which one is the woman I want to marry?'Without any hesitation at all, his mother replies, 'The one in the middle.'The young man is astounded. 'How in the world did you figure it out?''Easy,' she says. 'I don't like her.' Cheapskate... After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle that cost $50.00. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That's still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror. Lost Cell Phone...... My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally, she said, "I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!" I replied, "Aren't you talking on it?" There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in, followed by, "You are not going to tell anybody about this!" "We may give without loving, but we cannot love without giving."~Bernard Meltzer A man should not act as a judge either for someone he loves or for someone he hates. For no man can see the guilt of someone he loves or the good qualities in someone he hates.--Ketubbot Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."--Unknown Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.--Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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