A short story

[Guest guest]

Truly, the saddest thing we must experience in life is the loss of a loved-one. When the tragedy happens, those people around us, who want to help, often feel totally inadequate - just not knowing what to say or do. My hope is that, this message will

reach those who need to receive it ...I came across this story in one of the mails I receive, being moved by the depth in the message, I am sharing it with all. As light workers, we often across requests to help come to terms with loss, this could become our guideline for helping those who need our help.The Giftby Steve GoodierHis parents acquired the washer when John Claypool was a small boy. It happened during World War II. His family owned no washing machine and, since gasoline was rationed, they could ill afford trips to the laundry several miles away. Keeping clothes clean became a problem for young John's household.

A family friend was drafted into the service, and his wife prepared to go with him. John's family offered to store their furniture while they were away. To the family's surprise, the friends suggested they use their Bendix while they were gone. "It would be better for it to be running," they said, "than sitting up rusting." So this is how they acquired the washer.Young

John helped with the washing, and across the years he developed an affection for the old, green Bendix. But eventually the war ended. Their

friends returned. In the meantime he had forgotten how the machine came

to be in their basement in the first place. When the friends came to take it away, John grew terribly upset -- and let his feelings be known.

His wise mother sat him down and said, "Wait a minute, Son. You must remember, that machine never belonged to us in the first place. That we ever got to use it at all was a gift. So,

instead of being mad at it being taken away, let's use this occasion to

be grateful that we had it at all."The lesson

proved invaluable. Years later, John watched his eight-year-old daughter die a slow and painful death of leukemia. Though he struggled for months with her death, John could not really begin healing from the loss until he remembered the old Bendix.

"I am here to testify," he said, "that this is the only way down the mountain of loss ... when I remember that Laura Lou was a gift, pure

and simple, something I neither earned nor deserved nor had a right to.

And when I remember that the appropriate response to a gift, even when it is taken away, is gratitude, then I am better able to try and thank God that I was ever given her in the first place."His

daughter was given to him to love and nurture. She never belonged to him, but he had the awesome privilege of sharing her life for a while. When he realized that simple fact, everything changed. He could now begin healing from the tragedy of her loss by focusing instead on the wonder of her life. He started to see Laura Lou as a marvelous gift that

he was fortunate enough to enjoy for a time. He felt grateful. He found

strength and healing. He finally knew he could get through the valley of loss.

We all experience loss - loss of people, loss of jobs, loss of relationships, loss of independence, loss of esteem, loss of things. What if you view that which is lost as a gift you were given for

a time? Perhaps that simple choice of trying to reframe your loss will change sad memories into thankful ones. And perhaps it will get you unstuck and back on the road to healing and wholeness.

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