Fun @ Stephan Knapp

November 19, 2008

Dear All, I don't know whether you have heard of Stephan Knapp or not. But I know that for sure he is a Hindu Fenatic, and I am not. But for sure, reading him is informative, revealing and fun. You can start here: http://www.stephen-knapp.com/jokes_and_anecdotes.htm Then proceed to here and explore: http://www.stephen-knapp.com/ Some interesting extracts of Fun@ Stephan Knapp is given below. Source: http://www.stephen-knapp.com/jokes_and_anecdotes.htm Love and regards,Sreenadh=================================

MOST FAMOUS MAN WHO EVER LIVED

One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct."

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.

Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ." The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and I'll give you the $20."

As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know Jayant, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ." Jayant replied, "Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but business is business!"

MY COMPUTER GUY

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again?"

The computer guy grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No," I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out." So I wrote out ........ I D 1 0 T

I used to like Harold...

THE NOBLE KING AND SANSKRIT SLOKAS

There was a noble king who offered 1000 Gold coins to anyone who composed original Sanskrit verses. Lots of great scholars and Brahmins

came to his Assembly to present their works but every time they found that their work was heard previously. The king had four pundits : one who was Empathy - Who remembered after listening any thing once. Another was Dispatch - Who remembered anything after listening twice. The third one was Tripartite - who remembered anything after listening thrice. The fourth one was Chaturpathi - who remembered anything after listening four times.

So every time a pundit would come and recite a Sanskrit sloka, the Ekpathi would recite it again. Having heard it twice, the Dwipathi would say,

that this is not original as he also heard this.. and so on.. Thus, the king would not have to give out 1000 Gold coins to any one.

Once a poor Brahmin after unsuccessfully presenting his work to the king went to Kalidasa and sought his guidance. Kalidasa wrote him an original verse and asked him to present it to the king. The next day, when the Brahmin went to the King's Court and said his original sloka, none of the Pundits recited it back. So the king had to award 1000 Gold coins and then asked the pundits why did not they recite back?

The pundit told that the meaning of the Sloka was: "O King, please return the 1000 Gold coins that your father took from my father..." If they had recited back, then it would prove they had in fact been a witness to the king's father having taken 1000 Gold coins. And as they kept quiet, the king had to give 1000 Gold coins.

YOU ARE SPECIAL

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 2000, he asked. "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you - but first, let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple the 20 dollar note up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "what if I do this?" He dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. "My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.

"Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt........... by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless; but no matter what happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

"Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who love you. The worth of our lives comes, not in what we do or who we know, but by... WHO WE ARE. You are SPECIAL... d o n 't e v e r f o r g e t i t.

WHEN YOUR HUT IS ON FIRE The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for GOD to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions.

One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, "GOD! How could you do this to me?"

Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

The Moral of This Story: It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because GOD is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of GOD. DID GOD CREATE EVIL? Did God create everything that exists? Does evil exist? Did God create evil? A University professor at a well known institution of higher learning challenged his students with this question: "Did God create everything that exists?" A student bravely replied, "Yes he did!" "God created everything?" The professor asked. "Yes sir, he certainly did," the student replied. The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil. And, since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are, then we can assume God is evil." The student became quiet and did not answer the professor's hypothetical definition. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth. Another student raised his hand and said, "May I ask you a question, professor?Of course," replied the professor. The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?" The other students snickered at the young man's question. The young man replied, "In fact, sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460 F) is the total absence of heat; and all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat." The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?" The professor responded, "Of course it does." The student replied, "Once again you are wrong, sir, darkness does not exist, either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact, we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wave lengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present." Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?" Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course, as I have already said. We see it everyday. It is in the daily examples of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil." To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light." The professor sat down. The young man's name - - Albert Einstein....

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