Facetious ISKCON humor: Parody on the Hari Krishnas

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ISKCON GITA - As It Is (sample verse and esoteric purport)

 

Verse:

Krishna to Arjuna (BG 12.9): My dear Arjuna, O winner of wealth, if you

cannot fix your mind upon Me without deviation, then follow the

regulative principles of bhakti-yoga. In this way develop a desire to

attain Me.

 

Purport: Here we can clearly hear Krishna telling

Arjuna to join Iskcon. Why? Because Iskcon is the center of the

universe. And only Iskcon people are humans. Until Arjuna joins Iskcon

he is an animal, because only Iskcon people are human. So Krishna is

telling Arjuna NOT to be an animal... he has only one option on the

battlefield, and that is join Iskcon OR remain an animal. What this

means to you and I is that we too should join Iskcon. Even Krishna is a

member of Iskcon. And when you have turned into a human being by

joining Iskcon then you too can not be an animal. Only Iskcon are

humans. Make no mistake: Non-Iskcon people are demons, the lowest of

man kind. So unless you want to be an unhuman animal demon then JOIN

ISKCON. When you have joined Iskcon you will become under the 10,000

year law books. Then you can rob and plunder, as long as you don't

drink tea, because rightfully EVERYTHING belongs to Iskcon only. In

Iskcon we have a new type of currency, called Lakshmi Points. The more

you get, the higher you go toward the goal, viz., Iskcon. So without a

doubt - any other interpretation of this verse that does not lead

directly to Iskcon is non-sense and Maya. Only Iskcon is real. All else

is illusion. All non-Iskcon unhuman-animal-demons, like your parents,

are condemned to eternal hell because they have not accepted the love

of Iskcon. Iskcon is a Sanskrit word, that when translated into English

means Iskcon. Iskcon means Krishna, therefore Iskcon is God, and the

GBC are the Angels of Paradise. Only the Iskcon GBC know what is real

and what is false. You are only a jivatma IF the GBC allow you to exist

in Iskcon. Otherwise you're an unhuman-animal-demon like Arjuna.

Therefore the conclusion is that Arjuna should join Iskcon, and then go

kill all his family members, except those who are members of Iskcon.

There is NO other possible meaning to this verse. Thus Iskcon is the

means and the end. There is NO other truth besides Iskcon.

 

---Yours truly ISKCON

 

 

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