Sri Vedantha Desika Vidya

[Guest guest]

I reproduce below the editorial

in "Sri Vedantha Desika Vidya" (2nd issue dated July 2007) a monthly

journal . The Editor was

previously editor of "Sri Hayagriva Priya"

 

 

>From the Editor (Of "Sri Vedantha Desika Vidya")

Recently I had the occasion to attend the betrothal of a Christian

bride. Relatives of both sides have assembled in the hall of the three

star hotel. Elders were seated in the dais. The Christian Father was

there. The bride and bride groom were placed in two different places.

The Father was holding the prayer and then announcing the betrothal

according to their holy texts and customs. At the end of the ceremony,

some elderly members of the family requested the Father to permit the

bride and bride groom to take a seat on the dais. The Father stoutly

refused by saying "Not sanctioned by Bible." Every one obeyed and kept

quiet. The members of the bride and bride groom are economically and

socially well placed. But, the Father had the commitment to stick on to

his stand when it comes to the custom of religious practices. The bride

and bride groom join before the Altar during the marriage in the Church

and then a reception is held at a convenient hall. The marriage is

purely Christian function and they extend invitations for the post

marriage Reception to all. Among Moslem's, the bride didn't even look

at the bride groom's face till the marriage is over. Both the religions

are very rigid in their marriage customs.

But in our Hindu society, the recent trend of holding marriage

reception prior to real marriage is one such instance where convenience

takes precedence over customs. The idea of the bride and bride groom

joining together and getting the greetings of the visitors even before

they are recognized as husband and wife , at a promised marriage is not

sounding well. If cost of expenses in the marriage is the real reason

for such pre-marriage receptions, the we should have alternative ways

of celebrating the marriages. Marriages could be performed in holy

centers and reception in their place of living on any convenient date,

and this will definitely reduce the overall cost apart from providing a

homely atmosphere.

I was surprised at the command of the Father in the betrothal I

have mentioned. In the Hindu society, more so in Sri Vaishnava Society neither the Bruhaspathis have the commitment

nor the Grahasthas have the

respect for either the Bruhaspathi or the religious customs.We find a

lot of changes to the convenience of Bruhaspathis

as well as grahasthas. The

trend is alarming and every thing looks farce. There should be some

real inward rethinking . We waste a lot of money in marriage food. The

austerity has gone to winds. Luxury has set in. Every family vies with

each other in marriage spending. This is highly alarming. Heavy hall

rents, cooks bills coming to several lakhs and the total expense for

any middle class marriage running to several lakhs is not a healthy

sign.

In recent session, members of the Karnataka Assembly have expressed

their concern over the practice of having pre marriage receptions to

avoid hall rents for further hours on the evening of the marriage day

in Karnataka. The situation is same in Tamilnadu also. The hall rents

are exorbitant. The urge of the middle class is high to spend money o

these halls and a fancy food just for the luxury of it. The situation

is alarming. Economically they may even afford it. But should they make

mockery of the marriage mantras

----T.C. Srinivasan