subhashithani-quotable quotes

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22. paropi hithavaan banDhuH bandhurapi ahithaH paraH

ahitho dhehajo vyaaDhiH hitham aaraNyam oushaDHam

 

Even a third person is a relative if he is a benefactor and one who does harm is an enemy even if he is a relative. A disease even born with is not good and a medicinal herb even though it is in the forest is beneficial.

 

A relative is someone about whom you do not have a choice. But a friend is one whom you choose. One may not be a relative but he may wish well for you and help you in need . he is a friend who is to be considered as a relative and not the one who, though he may be a relative by birth, even a close relative like a brother should be treated as one if he has no love lost for you and tries to harm you. He is to be treated like an enemy in reality, which means that you need have no loyalty towards him.

 

The analogy given is that of a disease that you are born with. You try to get rid of it even though it always existed with you and hence stands in close relation with your body than the herb that cures it which was from the forest and hence alien to your surroundings.

 

There is no dearth of examples in modern times to show this But even in the ancient times we know of Sugriva to whom Vali, his own brother was an enemy while Hanuman who was not related to him was more than a relative by looking after his welfare.

 

I will steer towards the spiritual significance of this sloka after dealing with the episode of Vibheeshana. To say Ravana was an enemy to Vibheeshana may look like an exaggeration since Ravana did not do any harm to him but only became angry with him when he advised Ravana to give Seetha to Rama. But here we should consider the concept of dharma. There is two kinds of dharma , namely, saadhaaraNa or common dharma and viSesha dharma. The coomon dharma here is that one should not leave his brother in time of need. But the visesha dharma that applies to a righteous and a devotee is that one can give up anything or anyone if they are against dharma or God. Vibheeshana was a dharmathma and a devotee of Lord Narayana and had the insight to see the real identity of Rama and hence he could not compromise.

 

Now we come to the spiritual significance of this sloka. Para also means an enemy besides the other or distant. It also means the highest as we say paramaathman. Hitham means that which is good for you. In this sense the Lord who is para , the highest is the hithavaan , one who does what is good for you and hence a bandhu, close relative. In fact he is the only permanent relative to man because by approaching Him we get the parama hitham, the highest benefit. The one who tries to stand between you and the Lord is the real enemy even if he is the closest relative like Hiranyakasipu was to Prahlada.