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12. priyavaakyapradhaanena sarve thushyanthi janthavah

thasmaath thadheva vakthavyam vachane kaa

dharidhrathaa

 

All beings are pleased with pleasant words. Therefore only pleasing words should be spoken. Why should there be poverty in speech?

 

We often find people being miserly in using pleasant or kind words. Even animals respond to kind and soft words more than to harsh ones.

 

There is a Tamil verse similar to this , I think it is from a work called Naaladiyaar but I am not sure.

 

insolaal anRi iruneer viyanulagam

van solaal enRum magizaadhe

ponsei dhadhir vaLaiyaai pongaadhu azaRkadhiraal

thaNNen kadhiravaravaal pongum kadal

 

It means that the world surrounded by the sea and the sky,( meaning living beings in the world) will find happiness with sweet words but not harsh words. The sea grows into high tide by the cool rays of the moon but not with the hot rays of the sun.

 

This vachana dharidhrathaa is seen especially in offering praise. Many think that to praise someone is below their dignity. One should be generous in praise but not flattery, which is saying something which is not true. You can always find something to praise in others as everyone has a mixture of good and bad qualities .You can even turn a foe into a friend by finding something good to say about him. It is very essential with children. Always praise your child for some good quality he has and use pleasant words to correct his fault. It will have more effect than chiding him for a wrong doing.

 

ON eof the important virtues to cultivate for self evolvement , namely. Ahimsa, nonviolence, extends to the speech also. ThiruvaLLuvar says in ThirukkuRaL,

 

theeyinaaR suttapuNN uLLaaRum aaRaadhe

naavinaal sutta puN

 

The wound from fire will heal inside after sometime. But the wound by the tongue will never heal. It is easier to forgive than to forget. So when we inadvertently wound the feelings of someone we should ask forgiveness by saying sorry, which in no way demeans one's reputation as erratically believed but only enhances oneself in esteem to himself and others.

 

 

 

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