[Vaideekam] Is it true that anybody who has lost their near ones should not worship in a temple for an year ?

July 1, 2006

Respected Vasu Vadhyar, Thanks a lot. It's very clear to me. What is so amazing is the speed at which you have replied to my mail. It's almost coming back from a computer. Really amazing. Thank you very much. Pranams Maha Maha Devan <maha302 wrote: Respected Vasu

Vadhyar,Pranams !My name is Mahadevan. I am a silent reader of the vaideekam group's mails. Really appreciate your knowledge in our customs and the pain you take in answering hundreds of questions. Hats off to you.May God Bless You !I have a doubt. Normally if a death happens, the near ones are advised not to visit any temple for one year. What do you think about this custom ?In fact, everybody is adivised to go to the temple on the 13th day and after that they are not supposed to go for one year. I really don't understand as to if they can go on the 13th day, why not after that ?From another angle - I think, the visit to a temple gives you peace of mind and while you are in some agony that's exactly when you need to visit a temple and if that's banned for someone who is feeling the agony of the loss of a dear one - I feel it's a little cruel.Please let me know what you think about this.With

RespectsMaha*** Dear Mr.Mahadevan,I bow down to accept your blessings.What your feeling about the matter is correct. But there is no restriction to go to temple after 12th day ceremony. If anybody insists you can ignore it. Some of my views for futher knowledge about it :-God is not avoiding the 'theetu person' - we assume it. But humans are required to do Bhagavath Kaaryams with some Madi & Aacharam as per Sastram and as per custom. When we do some pooja, do we allow a person with theetu? We think that they are disturbing us and our pooja. 'Not disturbing others is better than doing a pooja'. Using this logic the theetu person should not go to the temple for that period while he is performing a theetu kaaryam.Kovils are maintained uneder some special Agama rules, as per that rule also theetu persons should not enter the temple.Let it be.Now we have to decide the theetu period for human which is very well

defined in Sastras and Prayogas.As per Sastras : Brahmins are doing the funerial ceremony upto 12 days and non brahmins are ending it on the 16th day. So, theetu period also has come to end on that 12th / 16th day.So no man is considered as a theetu person after that and he is eligible to go to temple and have dharshan but some other restrictions are there for the main Karthas as per Sastras.Note:- All these things have been already well clarified in Tamil by me an year before.As per sastras the 12th day Kainkaryam (Sapindee karanam) should be done only on the exact thithi and month which will occur after one year. But it is prephoned by Sastram itself by considering the longivity of the Kartha for one year. So, they allowed the kartha to complete it on 12th day onwords (on any convenient day). After the completion of the 12th day ceremony he will get relief only from the theetu. But he is not eligible for doing any punya karyams upto the end of

that one year. If a person go to a temple he may wish to do all the things like : Archanai, Mottai, Kaadhukuthal, Kalyana Uthsavam, Thirumanjanam etc. etc. which will not yield any punyam for him. For this reason elders are simply telling no need to go to temple for one year.After knowing this reason, the pp can go to any temple (including Thirumala), can Take Shatari, Dheertham etc. etc. but no prarthanas and archanas.regards,nvs

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