Maangalya dhaaraNam – part 2

[Guest guest]

Similarity in marriage practices!

 

One

of the popular notions is that Mangalya dharanam or tying of the thaali

was

a practice prevalent in Tamil culture only.

This

practice spread to the north from Tamilnadu and its adjoining states.

But

this notion is not supported by the practices as revealed in Tamil texts.

Nor

can it be said that Vedic marriage of the type of Sita

kalyanam

was

not part of Tamil culture.

Vedic

marriage as described in Valmiki Ramayana was also practiced in Tamilnadu.

Thol kappiyam talks about the same 8 types of

marriages.

It

also talks bout the PuL nimittham –

the

sakuna indications as done in Vedic marriages.

 

From

Choodamani nigandu,

we

come to know that though marriage types were eight,

the

choice of groom was done only by two methods (1)

 

They

were 'ara nilai inbham' and 'mara nilai inbham'

 

The

former is about the marriage of the two

having

similar characteristics in terms of age and kulam

and

conducted in the presence of relatives and friends in front of Agni.

This

is Vedic marriage and the marriage of Kovalan and

Kannagi.

was

strictly done by this Vedic method only.

The

details of this can be read in Silappadhikaram

 

The

second type is the marriage in which

the

groom wins the hand of the bride

by

winning some game such as a bull-fight or a shooting game.

 

The

bull fight was popular in Mullai lands of Tamil nadu

where

the Aayar girl married the winner of her bull.

The

shooting game was popular among the soldier clan - maravar

clan

who

had a stake in getting the most valiant person as the son-in-law.

 

This

is similar to Rama's and Arjuna's marriage.

The

scene was that of a Swayamvaram –

the

girl choosing her groom – but from among the persons of similar traits

who

proves himself to be supreme among others.

 

These

two types on choice of groom, as mentioned in the Nigandu

were

very much prevalent throughout India

in those days –

with

no regional difference.

This

is because, as is told in several places in the Tamil texts,

this

entire country was known as " Naavalam theevu "

or Jhambhoo dweepa

All

the people moved around this Jhambhoo dweepa

and

followed the same culture.(2)

 

In

not less than 3 places in Silappadhikaram,

there

is mention of Naavalam theevu referring to the whole land mass

of

which Tamilnadu was also a part.

The

marriage practices were the same.

The

religious practices were the same.

For

all the people of this Jhambhoo dweepa,

Ganges

was the holy river. Vedas were the authority.

 

The

Cheran king, Senkutuvan who went to the Himalayas

to

get the rock for constructing a temple for Kannagi

had

made a trip to the North even before that.

That

was a pilgrimage trip he undertook with his mother

to

take a holy dip in the Ganges (3)

 

The

similarities extend to war practices

and

social practices too.

Needless

to say the marriage practices were also the same –

without

Mangalya dharanam!!

 

Sita

kalyanam was a 'Prajapathi' marriage whereby

the

duo belonged to the same kulam, gunas, status (in every sense of the term)

and

were united in marriage by Vedic rituals facilitated by

the

" Prajapathi " or 'Brahma'

who

guides and directs the marriage ceremonies.

In

any Vedic ritual there will be a senior officiating priest

who

is designated as Brahma to authorize the proceedings.

It

is because of this, such a marriage is known as Prajapathi.

 

We

find that the Kovalan – Kanangi marriage also

was a Prajapathi marriage –

similar

in description to Rama's marriage.

Writing

his commentary on such a marriage as told in Thol kappiyam,

Nacchinaarkkiniyar justifies the name Prajapthi in Prajapthi

marriage as told above.

Such

a marriage is praised by all as 'Nonbu'

or a tapas that has come true,

because

it is very pleasing and joyous to see such a marriage.

The

spectators, while blessing the couple with sacred rice

used

to think what kind of nonbu or tapas

they

must have done to see such a marriage. (4)

 

Another

commentator, Adiyaarkku nallar coins the Tamil

term 'voppu'

for

this Prajapathi marriage.

This

means the marriage is between the persons of the same clan having similar

traits.

Since

it is 'voppu', it also includes marriage within the already related ones.

 

Such

a marriage described in Silappadhikaram was done in Vedic way.

There

was PAnigrahanam but no Mangalya dharanam.

There

is mention of 'ashta mangala' things such as

auspicious

things that include water pots (kumba) carried by auspicious women.

There

is mention of the vedic practice of growing nava dhanya

(9

types of grains – called paaligai)

There

is mention of comparing Kannagi to Arundhathi,

the

sacred bath to the bride, the sacred music and so on.

 

Ilangovadigal

used the word " mangalam " in a couple

of places

while

describing the marriage ceremony (5)

But

that was about auspicious ornaments and auspicious decoration.

But

mangalya dharanam was conspicuously absent in the description.

 

Not

only in Silappadhikaram, we find mention of simple weddings

with

or without Agni-saakshi in Aga nanuru also.

But

whatever description is given, it tallies with Vedic marriage rituals only

For

instance we find in Rama's marriage, the thread ceremony done before the

marriage.

A

sacred thread was tied to the wrist of both the bride and the groom.

This

ceremony is mentioned in Agananuru also, wherein it is stated

that

a white thread specially prepared from some plants

(the

process of preparing is mentioned )

is

tied to the bride's wrist by her relatives. (6).

After

the 'thread' ceremony only,

the

bride is brought to the decorated marriage platform

and

given in marriage to the groom.

The

description after this is indicative of 'dattam'

that Janaka did (7)

 

Seeing

Nimitta and muhurtha formed an important part in Vedic weddings.

The

same customs prevailed in Tamil lands too.

The

auspicious day of the moon joining Rohini as a

suitable day for marriage,

seeing

Sakuna or Nimittha and

holding

of the hands as a mark of the bride being given to the groom in marriage

are

found in other Tamil texts such as Kali-th-thogai.

 

But

in all these descriptions,

the

tying of the thaali or the sacred thread around the neck is missing.

 

There

is mention of wearing jewels – auspicious jewels -

but

no mention of this specific ornament as Mangalyam.

 

It

will be interesting to know about the love marriages in those days.

The

popular opinion in Tamilnadu is that love marriages were common in those days.

They

quote the 2 states of marriage, namely 'kaLavu' and

'karpu' –

This

is told in Thol kappiyam.

Thiruvalluvar also divided the 3rd part of Thirukkural

on Kaama into these two.

 

But

they were not like the love marriages of today.

The

KaLavozukkam is not about " kaLLam "

It

is defined by Parimelazhagar (in his commentary

to Thirukkural)

as

the relationship between a healthy (no disease and no old age) boy and a

girl

who

match each other in physical looks, in tendencies,

in

financial status, in age, in kulam, in characteristics and in love.

The

coming together of these two without the presence of

relatives

and

friends is known as 'kaLavu'. (8)

 

Inter-caste

marriages are not suggested by this.

The

marriage is between the people of same clan

but

consummated without the presence of parents.

By

this it is known,

that

an Aayar boy married an Aayar girl and not someone from another clan.

The

mobility was not approved – a trait continuing till today

but

the mobility of a girl to an upper strata was approved.

It

is because marriage is about the 4 purusharthas,

of which

Moksha or emancipation is the Final goal!

Every

act in human life is expected to train and divert one

to

spiritual growth - towards Realization of the need to get released

from

the cycle of birth.

Movement

to a clan that was better evolved in such practices was acceptable

But

movement to a clan that is yet to incorporate such practices

for

Final emancipation was discouraged.

 

These

practices were the same throughout the Jambhoo dweepa

and

not confined to one area as to claim that it was Tamil culture or so.

 

In

fact the kaLavu and karpu of Tamil lands

have

their Sanskrit counter parts in

King

Bhoja raja's 'Shrunghara prakasham' as

'sambhogam for kaLavu and

'vipra yogam for Karpu.

 

We

can locate a verse of kaLavu nature in Agananuru (9)

which

is about a girl eloping with her lover.

The

mother expresses in that verse her wish

that

the lover bedeck her in all jewellery.

There

is again no mention of thaali

but

the girl missing the joy of getting beautified with jewels is indicated.

From

this and from other verses on marriage,

it

is known that bridal jewellery was part of

marriage.

Such

decoration is done before the marriage ceremony begins.

But

there is no indication of a specific ornament to be compulsorily worn

or

gifted at the time of marriage.

If

the tying of the thaali is a major event of the marriage as it is

nowadays,

then

it would have been certainly mentioned somewhere.

But

that it is not so, makes us wonder

whether

this event was a later addition.

Till

Silappadhikaram times,

Mangalya

dharanam was not in vogue –

this

is something we can say with certainty.

 

According

to Silappadhikaram, Madurai

was burnt on a Friday

with

moon in Kaarthgai star,

in

the Krishna paksha, in the month of Aadi. (10)

If

this date can be identified,

we

can know for sure until what times,

the

purely Vedic way of marriage –sans Mangalya dharanam

was

in practice in Tamil lands.

(to be continued)

 

***********************

Reference:-

 

(1) " koorumOr

paruvam nlla kulam otthadaaga thee-vEttaar

iyalil

irutthal ara nilai inbhamaagum

yEru

thaan thazhuval villai ilakkam aithiduthal ellam

maarudau

neriyil kootta mara nilai inbhamaamE "

Choodamani

nigandu 12- 63

 

(2)

Silappadhikaram -25-174, 29-9, & 17

Manimegalai

– 2-1

Paripaadal

– 5-8

 

(3)

Silappadhikaram – 25 -160-62

 

(4)

Chapter 1 of Silappadhikaram

 

(5)

" mangala aNi " – silappadhikram – 1-47

" mangala

nal aMaLi " 1-59 (amaLi- cot)

 

(6)

" VeN nool katti " Aga nanuruy -136

 

(7)

" thamar namakku 'eendha' thalai naaL " Aga nanuru - 136

 

(8)

" kaLavaavathu piNi, mooppu, irappugaL indri, engyaandrum voru

thanmaiyaraai, vuruvum, thiruvum, paruvamum, kulanum, gunanum, anbhum

mudaliyavattraal thammuL voppumai vudaiyaraai, thalai maganum, thalai magaLum,

pirar koduppavum, aduppavum indri, paal vagaiyaal thaamE yethir pattu,

puNarNthu varuvadhu " –

ParimElazhagar

in Thirukkural vurai for KaLaviyal of Inbhatthu-p-paal

 

(9)

Aga nanuru – 35

 

(10)

Silappadhikaram 25 – 133-35