A Stiff Upper Lip

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Srimate SrivanSatakopa Sri Vedanta Desika Yatindra Mahadesikaya nama:

 

 

 

A Stiff Upper Lip

 

 

We hold Sri Rama to be the Model Man, one who was the repository of all virtues,

one who was the ideal son, brother, friend, husband and monarch, portraying

model behaviour and setting an example in all that He did or omitted to do. Try

as they might, detractors have been unable to find even a speck of blemish on

this august personage, which might tarnish His unsullied image as the role model

for all humanity for all time to come. Biased critics may cry themselves hoarse

over the episode of VAli vadham, but those who go through the relevant verses of

VAlmIki would need no convincing that what Rama did was indeed correct, as the

aggrieved party (VAli) himself admits in the end. Thus, if a person's life

itself could be a shining model for all to emulate, it was indeed Sri Rama's.

When you come to think of it, Sri Raghava did not do much by way of upadEsam or

advice, though He did say a word or two to those who were around, as the

occasion warranted. All the unspoken homilies and sermons were contained in His

conduct and character, which shone through in all His actions. Considering the

propensity of people who are adept at preaching but not so particular about

practicing, here is a shining example of a person who did not preach much, but

let His flawless conduct speak for itself and to remain a role model for all to

follow.

 

 

 

Among the innumerable virtues of this Model Monarch is one, which is specially

worthy of emulation-Equanimity. The normal human reaction is to be joyous in the

face of glad tidings and to put on a long face when greeted by sad news. There

is possibly none who doesn't feel overjoyed when told of laurels in the

examination, of the birth of a bonny baby boy, of an advancement in his career

through a coveted promotion or posting and so on. On such occasions, our faces

beam and are wreathed in smiles, our hearts thump with joy, we feel like hugging

the nearest person and sharing the glad tidings with him (even if he is a total

stranger)-in short, the uncontainable happiness and joy we feel in our hearts is

displayed vividly on our faces.

 

 

 

If we take the other range of emotions, they too affect us considerably. When he

hear about the demise of a loved one, when something we expect eagerly doesn't

come about, when the promised rewards of hard work do not materialise, we are

crestfallen, our hearts beat feebly and in sorrow, tears well up in our eyes, we

feel unable to go about normally with our routine-in general, sadness and sorrow

make us beside ourselves with grief. Our long and lugubrious faces tell the

world plainly that some mishap has befallen us. Similarly, at the slightest of

provocations and at the merest of insults, actual or perceived, our faces become

suffused with anger, our eyes blaze, lips tremble with unformed words and we

become temporarily crazy with anger. Words, which we would never dream of

uttering normally, flow freely from our enraged lips, often inflicting

unhealable wounds. Even the severest of burn wounds would heal, but not those

caused by searing words, says Tiruvalluvar, depicting the extent to which anger

clouds our reasoning intellect and correct conduct.

 

 

 

These are the normal ways in which we react, when confronted by joy, sorrow or

insult. It is impossible for us to ignore these feelings, which rise up in our

minds automatically and involuntarily, in response to the aforesaid stimuli.

However, Shastras tell us that we should neither go overboard with happiness at

glad tidings, nor fall down in the dumps at sad ones. Our reaction should be

measured and appropriate, with reward and its absence taken in our stride. Once

we learn not to be affected by extremes of emotions, then life is one continuous

saga of peace and tranquillity. This is evident from the following Gita sloka,

which prescribes such equanimity as an essential prerequisite for

God-realisation and defines the virtue as being unaffected by happiness and

distress, heat and cold or honour and dishonour-

 

 

 

" JitAtmana: prashAntasya ParamAtmA samAhita:

 

seetOshNa sukha du:khEshu tathA mAna apamAnayO: "

 

 

 

It is such equanimity that we find in Chakravartthi Tirumagan.

 

 

 

Eloquent display of this virtue is provided in the Prince's reaction to His

stepmother's instruction, on the eve of His Coronation, that He leave

immediately for the forest, relinquishing all claim to the throne of Ayodhya for

14 long years.

 

 

 

What would be the normal reaction of a Prince, whose coronation is imminent,

when told that the event is being cancelled and that he is not to be Crown

Prince, but is to leave forthwith for the jungle? How would anyone feel, when

the promised post of heir-apparent to the throne is substituted by that of a

landless nomad? How do you expect a Prince to react, when he is told that

instead of the regal splendour and palatial comforts that he is used to, he

would have to assume the garb of a mendicant and roam the forests for 14 years?

Those who have read Tennyson's poem would recall how blissful the small girl is,

on being selected to play " Queen of May " in a school event. However, here is an

instance of a person who is to be the Crown Prince of the vast and powerful

kingdom of Ayodhya and has the coveted honour denied to Him at the very last

moment, when all preparations therefor are complete.

 

 

 

Is this not enough provocation for the most mild-mannered of persons to react

with violence? Not only is the promised Crown of Ayodhya denied, to add insult

to injury, Sri Rama's junior is chosen as the Prince-in-waiting. In what way

could Bharata be better than Rama, the eldest-born and acknowledgedly the best

of the lot, according to all those whose opinions counted? On top of snatching

away the throne at the last minute, when the added punishment of an extradition

to the inhospitable jungle is inflicted on the unsuspecting Prince, would not

any Kshatriya worth his salt rise up in arms, destroy or at least incapacitate

those responsible for the dastardly machinations, and snatch the Crown that is

rightfully his?

 

 

 

Thus, by all accounts, we would expect Sri Rama to react with 1) anger at the

palace intrigue, 2) frustration and disappointment at the denial of the

distinction, especially at the last minute 3) distress at His stepmother (whom

He had regarded with greater love and affection than His own mother) being

responsible for His banishment, 4) humiliation at His younger brother Bharata

being chosen in His stead, for no apparent reason than that he was born to the

scheming KaikEyI 5) determination to retain what was rightfully His, by virtue

of His being the eldest son of the Emperor and to destroy all those who dared to

oppose His claim.

 

 

 

However, Sri Rama displays none of these emotions. In fact, He receives the

revised instructions as calmly as if He were being told the time. There was

absolutely no sign of sorrow, distress or anger in the Prince, says Sri Valmiki,

even after these words of Kaikeyi, dipped in poison, as it were, fell on His

unsuspecting ears-

 

 

 

" itIva tasyAm parusham vadantyAm na chaiva Rama: pravivEsa shOkam "

 

 

 

" tat apriyam amitraghna: vachanam maraNOpamam

 

shrutvA tu na vivyathE Rama: Kaikeyim cha idam abraveet "

 

 

 

KaikEyI was after all a step mother, whose words Sri Raghava could have

disregarded: and even if the instructions had indeed emanated from His father,

Sri Rama could have very well ignored those too, as they were in contravention

of the earlier, considered decision to crown Him, taken with the full consent of

the RAjaguru, the erudite Council of Ministers and above all, the citizenry of

Ayodhya. As such, Sri Rama would have been on safe ground, had He chosen to

display anger, rebel against the patently unjust instruction for abdication of

the Crown in favour of His younger brother and assumed the mantle Himself as per

original plans.

 

 

 

However, He did none of this. He displayed no emotion at all on receiving the

tormenting tidings, least of all disappointment or distress. He hastened to

assure KaikEyi of immediate and implicit compliance, should she entertain any

doubts of her unholy efforts bearing fruit. Sri Rama's words bring tears to our

eyes, when He tells His stepmother, in all sincerity and without a tinge of

sarcasm or irony, that He would leave for the forest immediately and that she

need have no worry on that count, as He had groomed Himself to put up with

adversity and was more than a Rishi in practicing renunciation-

 

 

 

" nAham arttha parO dEvi! lOkam Avastum utsahE

 

viddhi mAm rishibhi: tulyam kEvalam Dharmam Astthitham "

 

 

 

The only words of chiding from Sri Rama were at KaikEyI professing to convey the

message from the Emperor. Raghava tells her, " Would I not obey implicitly, if

you yourself were to tell me so? Do you need to tell me that these are

instructions from father? To me, you are as venerable as father " . Here are the

glorious words of KambanAttAzhwar, describing Rama's model response- " Mannavan

paNi endrAgil num paNi maruppEnO, iLayanan pettra selvam adiyEn pettradu andrO? "

 

 

 

This episode also displays another glorious trait in the Prince of Ayodhya,

viz., Tolerance or " Porumai " or " KshamA " . Sri Ramanuja, in his GitAbhAshya,

defines Tolerance as remaining stoic and unaffected even in the face of the

grossest of provocations- " manO vikAra hEtou satyapi avikrita manastvam " . It is

not enough if one were to preserve a stoic and stony countenance , a stiff upper

lip and a poker face, when confronted by adversity and distress. If the control

stops with the physical features, with the inner feelings raging rampantly, it

would only result in bottling up of the true emotions, which would burst out

some time or the other, to the detriment of all. However, if one is able to

remain unmoved at the emotional level, having groomed oneself to accept good and

bad with dispassion, that then is the true test of Tolerance or " KshamA " .

 

 

 

It is this magnificent trait that Sri Raghunandana displayed in His aforesaid

interaction with KaikEyI. In doing so, He only lived up to the tribute paid to

Him by Sri Narada, comparing Him to Mother Earth in Tolerance- " kshamayA prithivI

sama: " Just as Mother Earth puts up with the innumerable transgressions Her

children commit against Her, Sri Rama too preserved His poise and received the

sentence of banishment from KaikEyI with extreme lack of concern and unmoved at

what it entailed.

 

 

 

Each and every word, gesture and action of Sri Rama stand eloquent testimony to

His absolute espousal of Dharma, in all its forms and facets.

 

We are told that it is often difficult to define Righteousness, with

circumstances determining what is correct and what is not ( " Dharmasya tatvvam

nihitam guhAyAm " ) While in absolute terms, Dharma might be constant and

unchanging, yet in tricky daily life situations where we find it difficult to

determine the right course of action, it is to role models like Sri DAsarathi

that we look up to, for providing us the requisite inspiration, guidance and

strength of character, for adopting the straight, narrow and often thorn-strewn

path of Dharma-

 

" MahA janA: yEna gata: sa panthA: "

 

 

 

Srimate Sri LakshmINrsimha divya paduka sevaka SrivanSatakopa Sri Narayana

Yatindra Mahadesikaya nama:

 

dasan, sadagopan