neutral mind

[Guest guest]

Greetings everyone!

My work situation is similar with one co-worker along with the added bonus

of dealing with about 65 other individual entities everyday. It is a medical

situation so people are as a general rule not very happy. It has become my

profound duty/service to try & keep everything as smooth & positive as possible.

And of course, Yogi Bhajan has always kept me on track when the going is rough.

 

Number 1: " Recognize that the other person is you "

Nymber 2: " If you can't see God in all, you can't see God at all "

Sat Nam, Sally in Oklahoma

[Guest guest]

Sat nam Kartar Kaur,

your description of what is happening to you in your jobs was really interesting

to read. I tend to experiment the same phenomena: personally, I think it has to

do with trying too hard, of an unnatural striving for perfectionism.

 

For example, I use to see the person I´m working for as a perfect role model,

someone whom I really want to " serve " . In many ways, I give away a lot of power

over me, to this person. This is what you call the " honey moon " phase. I will do

everything to please this person and fulfill my job in the best whatever way.

 

Sooner or later, the flaws of the person will become more appearant and

eventually increase because of my accentuated servilitude - the person is

tempted to exploit my availability. As a response, there will come up within me

feelings of being a " victim " , of hidden anger - as well as physical signs of

tiredness that are the result of both, overworking and mental talk.

 

The characteristic beginning of this whole game that one is playing on one self

is some kind of " adoration " or enchantment for that boss whom one is working

for.

Things can go well for quite some time till it is all reversed up to the point

where I´m sabotaging my own interests of keeping the job.

 

There have been very meaningful answers to your post in the forum and little can

be added to it.

From a psychologic perspective, it would be good, perhaps, to look into the past

and try to understand why one is keen on inflicting suffering on oneself

(firstly by working so hard, later, by enjoying the desenchantment, the

deception about the person whom one has quasi divinized). After analysing my own

case, I think, that there is a problem with dealing with authorities/hierarchies

and the father/mother figure. In the end it culminates in the persecutor/victim

game which brings it all to a total crash, professionally. It is a perfect

method for sabotaging oneself.

Often, I have managed to artificially create a field of tension with bosses who

were especially fond of me and appreciated my work -- have you looked if your

descontent with the other person comes up especially once you have conquered the

other´s appreciation, confidence and friendship? It is as if one would not be

able to take in the love that is coming from the other and therefore finds any

reason to end that relationship, even though it is really a merely professional

one.

 

Best to all,

Betty

 

 

 

 

 

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