Guest guest Posted February 26, 2008 Report Share Posted February 26, 2008 actually three....can someone explain these things to me?! -when I sit to meditate, I often feel pins and needles under my left shoulder, right next to the spine. I keep trying to crack my back in that area, but it is only really when I am sitting to meditate. -when I stretch my life nerve (sitting touching my toes), I often feel panicky and I want to cry. Also I get what feels like tons of electricity in my feet when I sustain the position. -when I sit straight in a meditation pose (lotus) (after years of slouching and suffering from kyphosis) I actually can't get a deep breath in. I have to sort of slouch my back to get a full and deep breath. I imagine this is because my inner organs have actually taken the shape of my slouch, and now that i am sitting striaghter, and opening my third chakra (which is so compressed) that my body is not used to a proper position. So...the question is....should I take a slight slouch to get a full breath, or is it better to practice with a shallow breath, trying to reshape the inner organs? Or is this something else entirely. Any understanding as to what these phenomena are would be great!!! Thanks, Reba Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 26, 2008 Report Share Posted February 26, 2008 Dear Reba: > Pins and needles under my left shoulder, right next to the spine > only really when I am sitting to meditate. I would use total body awareness and include this experience while meditating. Give a lot of space to that area (meaning, allow this pins and needles feeling to take as much space as it wants, allow the energy to move where it wants to, don't be afraid of it). > > -when I stretch my life nerve (sitting touching my toes), I often > feel panicky and I want to cry. Also I get what feels like tons of > electricity in my feet when I sustain the position. That's great! It shows that some trauma got stored in your muscles that get stretched doing that posture. Allow the energy to move, allow yourself to cry but don't get involved emotionally, instead keep feeling the sensations rather than the emotions. As with the pins and needles give that area where the trauma seems to be coming from a lot of space, as though you were allowing the energy of the trauma to be shared with the rest of your body. Let the energy go where it wants and again, do not let yourself be scared of it. > > -when I sit straight in a meditation pose (lotus) (after years of > slouching and suffering from kyphosis) I actually can't get a deep > breath in. I have to sort of slouch my back to get a full and deep > breath. I imagine this is because my inner organs have actually > taken the shape of my slouch, and now that i am sitting straighter, > and opening my third chakra (which is so compressed) that my body is > not used to a proper position. So...the question is....should I take > a slight slouch to get a full breath, or is it better to practice > with a shallow breath, trying to reshape the inner organs? Or is > this something else entirely. I think that here the reason you started to slouch is because you got scared or felt threatened. This may have come to you from a past life and you may not remember the fear or threat, or it may have been passed on to you from your ancestors and it is yours to clear. Shallow breathing is usually associated with fear or anxiety. Slouching was probably a way to protect the heart. When you felt protected you could breathe better. Now if you want to heal, you need to let go of that need for protection, a bit at a time, going through the experience of the difficulty of breath that you experience when you do not slouch. it is not about reshaping the inner organs it is about freeing the trauma stored close to your heart or in your heart. I wonder if all 3 experiences aren't related somehow. I'd love to hear from you what happens when you start releasing these trapped energies. If you don't understand what I suggest, please write privately. Best wishes, Awtar Singh Rochester, NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 29, 2008 Report Share Posted February 29, 2008 I do know the connection between them.... I grew up in inner city DC, by parents who were very commited to urban renewal and intergration. I was put into a school where I was pretty much one of the only handful of white students. My mother in particular was very adamant that I live be her ideals, no matter how they were being played out in reality.....for instance, she refused to buy me stylish clothes, refused to let me grow my hair (and cut it herself in very obvious ways), never taught me about hygeine (deoderant)..... Also, she was very insecure in herself, and anything that I said or did that was different to how she saw things, she took it VERY personally and would act as if I had injured her deeply. She often told me, " you were sent here to destroy me " and " you are so domineering and cruel, you will never have a successful relationship " . Basically, sending me to this school in this community was a way for her to show the world that she was progressive, an activist (not that these are bad things....but all things that ultimately harm a child are bad). So picture this....here I was a terribly awkward, unkempt white girl...who had been told that she was not likeable....the end result was that I was an easy target. I was picked on relentlessly, and often threatened and also jumped (beat up, punched in the face, etc...). I was terrorized daily for smelling bad, not dressing cool, and mostly for being white. When I told my mom that I wanted to go to a different school, she told me that she was giving me a gift of a " minority experience " , and that she was not going to be one of those moms who tows the mainstream line and sends her kid to a private school, etc.... Often that would turn into her melting down into accusations that I don't love her, that I jsut want to hurt her, that I want to strip her of anything good.... As I grew into adolescence, I began to lose that " natural " ability of a child's body to play, run, be brave and agile. This just made another thing for me to be targeted for....I would refuse to try and catch a ball in kick ball because it seemed like a lesser evil to missing the ball and looking like a failure. During this time, I began to slouch. I couldn't touch my toes. I spent these crucial years, when I should have been open and adventerous, trying to hide inside my body so I wouldn't be teased or threatened. By the time I was finally allowed to go to another school for high school, I was so certain that no one liked me, that I spent most waking hours worried about what people thought of me. I was always very outspoken and creative, and would sometimes actually " hide " behind my ability to speak and debate. I became known for my verbal skills, and began to use this to actually create and control reality to a certain degree. I would gossip, compare, complain, try to confuse people or convince them to see reality as I saw it.... Then came college, and I was so overly gregarious and " funny " as a way to try and get people to like me. I drank heavily, and was the life of the party....all the while feeling completely inadequate and unlikeable. I majored in theatre and french. I began to put on weight, and my body seemed to " slow down " in a way. Since this time, my body has formed benign cysts in my body, and I have terible lymph drainage. After damaging the underside of my jaw 10 years ago, one side of my jaw is swollen...giving me another reason to exist in " the shame of who I am " and feeling like a " monster " . When I am good about my diet and yoga, it goes down, and the minute I get rageful and hateful (mostly towards myself), I blow up like a balloon. It has been because of this health problem in particular that I started trying to have a daily practice of kundalini yoga. I feel like all of these " wierd " things that I experience during meditation and yoga, and my health problems, are all pictures of the histrory I have described above. I think that the swelling of the jaw has to do with my speech, that the tightness in my body has to do with trying to not fully exist for others to scrutinize or terrorize. I think that a life of bad energy, bad thoughts, bad words, etc.....has pretty much depleted my etheric body (spiritual body) of much of its lifeforce. I know that yoga is starting to uncover and unravel all of this muck. I got my yoga teacher certification a few years back (hatha yoga), but I don't even do hatha yoga anymore...kundalini just makes soooooo much more sense, and it seems to access the spirit directly. So there is the rest of the story....any other suggestions on particular kriyas, diet, herbs, meditations, etc...that anyone has based on learning more about me is welcome. (actually, much desired). Now at 35, as a mom to three children under four....I am finally seeing that fulfillment and optimal health are possible...I just have a lot of work to get there. I am also seeing how the way a parent reacts to you and treats you as a child creates a body memory. Even though I always swore that I would never feel about my children the way my mom did about me, I see it happening towards my daughter already (and she is only three). I often take her moods personally, I can't seem to smile or make things fun. I feel like I am an awful mom. Then I get up the next day thinking, " today is the day I get over myself " . The yoga helps...I can see how it is possible....if I can just stick to it. This is why I joined this group, so I could have some sense of community and support. I need to stay on track. I know I don't have to live like this. I can get " untrapped " . Any comments/suggestions are welcome. yogahs <kundalini_yoga Kundaliniyoga Tuesday, February 26, 2008 5:09:53 PM Kundalini Yoga Re: two wierd experiences.... Dear Reba: > Pins and needles under my left shoulder, right next to the spine > only really when I am sitting to meditate. I would use total body awareness and include this experience while meditating. Give a lot of space to that area (meaning, allow this pins and needles feeling to take as much space as it wants, allow the energy to move where it wants to, don't be afraid of it). > > -when I stretch my life nerve (sitting touching my toes), I often > feel panicky and I want to cry. Also I get what feels like tons of > electricity in my feet when I sustain the position. That's great! It shows that some trauma got stored in your muscles that get stretched doing that posture. Allow the energy to move, allow yourself to cry but don't get involved emotionally, instead keep feeling the sensations rather than the emotions. As with the pins and needles give that area where the trauma seems to be coming from a lot of space, as though you were allowing the energy of the trauma to be shared with the rest of your body. Let the energy go where it wants and again, do not let yourself be scared of it. > > -when I sit straight in a meditation pose (lotus) (after years of > slouching and suffering from kyphosis) I actually can't get a deep > breath in. I have to sort of slouch my back to get a full and deep > breath. I imagine this is because my inner organs have actually > taken the shape of my slouch, and now that i am sitting straighter, > and opening my third chakra (which is so compressed) that my body is > not used to a proper position. So...the question is....should I take > a slight slouch to get a full breath, or is it better to practice > with a shallow breath, trying to reshape the inner organs? Or is > this something else entirely. I think that here the reason you started to slouch is because you got scared or felt threatened. This may have come to you from a past life and you may not remember the fear or threat, or it may have been passed on to you from your ancestors and it is yours to clear. Shallow breathing is usually associated with fear or anxiety. Slouching was probably a way to protect the heart. When you felt protected you could breathe better. Now if you want to heal, you need to let go of that need for protection, a bit at a time, going through the experience of the difficulty of breath that you experience when you do not slouch. it is not about reshaping the inner organs it is about freeing the trauma stored close to your heart or in your heart. I wonder if all 3 experiences aren't related somehow. I'd love to hear from you what happens when you start releasing these trapped energies. If you don't understand what I suggest, please write privately. Best wishes, Awtar Singh Rochester, NY ______________________________\ ____ Never miss a thing. Make your home page. http://www./r/hs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 1, 2008 Report Share Posted March 1, 2008 Dear Reba: > > I do know the connection between them.... > These experiences you describe are difficult... but they are not the source of your trauma, because if they were, your trauma would be released. Different people could experience these exact same experiences and respond to them very differently. The real source of the trauma is how you chose to receive/see/interpret these experiences, and that's what is stuck in you. Once you become aware of the story you created and the emotions that are stuck in the story and you choose to accept that reality may have been quite different, then you will start releasing the trauma. I'll give you an example because I know this is not easy to understand. When I was an infant my parents turned up the music very loud whenever I was crying. I didn't remember this. They told me. Since I did not remember, I did not have conscious emotions attached to it either and did not make anything of it except that I did feel that when people touched me, my body was startled. I was wondering if that experience wasn't related to my sense of disconnectedness from the world and people. I started to learn different healing techniques and during one of them I experienced that a lot of tension was trapped in my lower spine as if I did not trust the world to support me. When I laid down on a massage table my lower back did not connect with the table. Also my feet were cold and we discovered that the two were related because when I was able to relax my lower back my feet got warm like never before for the rest of the day. The process of releasing the tension in my lower back resulted in something totally unexpected. I felt how I felt as an infant when my parents turned up the music when I was crying. And I loved the music and I felt abandoned at the same time. I chose as an infant to focus on the pain of being alone, but during the healing session I realized I had a choice to focus on my love of music instead... I would have integrated a very different experience in my lower back! Therefore what my parents did or did not do was not the source of my pain, it was what I chose to do with it. Blessings, Awtar Singh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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