Guest guest Posted March 20, 2008 Report Share Posted March 20, 2008 Sat Nam to all The following comes from my journal. It is long, raw, not well written and desperate. I feel embarrased to post it on the web. My Music, I have always been a music lover: found a song line in response to conversations, danced around the house alone, drawn to many instruments and styles. Currently.. The last three or more years, there is a force not allowing me to enjoy music. My music devices cease to work, or become missing.. This happens the car, at home, on walks. I seem to loose specific cds when I yearn for them. Ive never been supported in my love for music. My husband complains when I hum. Recently he told me I had a bad voice. My health: In the last couple of years cold bugs turn to hoarse throats, loosing my voice. Ive had pnuemonia twice in a year. I have recently been diagnosed with hypothryroidism. I have been practicing KY for about three years without a steady commitment or teacher. I recently purchased Gurmukh’s KY dvd and broke down crying during breath of fire. Two years ago I injured my right shoulder walking my border collie. This year I injured my left slipping on the ice. But Yoga is helping them. My feet are a constant problem. Toenail fungus, athletes feet, planters warts are a constant battle: Left foot. My Emotions: emotional/psychological issues have haunted me for as long as I can remember. Depression and anxiety in particular. The Anxiety has become almost debilitating for me since November. Panic attacks in public have been overwhelming me. I have attended groups, individual therapy, Churches, More recently becoming aware of my intake (food, reading, television, news, vitamins and supplements) I have been practicing KY for about three years without a steady commitment. I am a Piscean with problems keeping others energy at bay even miles away. I lack boundries. I am sensitive to weather changes, wind, the moon cycles. I avoid the news because most of it makes me weep for the world. During the past 5 years I have been in battle for my autistic son. He has required three psych hospitalizations, group homes. He has put our lives in constant danger of physical abuse and life threatening situations. We all suffer PTSD. We tried four times to move him back home during these years and it was finally July of 07 when I had to accept I cannot care for him in my own home. I am still devastated, angry, and broken by this. My Career: I divorced my husband in 2000. He is a constant marijuana smoker, would not attend or support all the necessary meetings and therapies for our two children. When I divorced him, I had a small art Studio and talk classes to all ages in drawing, watercolor, acrylics, crafts. And I also offered Antique Art Restoration. I felt in control of my life and although still suffered depression and anxiety, I was active and busy. Since Josephs Psych issues I have become unreliable for employment. My time is spent attending PETs, IEPs filling out DHS paperwork. Teaching Joseph what feelings are. Teaching Nathan at age 14 how to ready for school without melting down and swearing at me when I ask him to brush his teach. In other words my children became so overwhelming and with the help of a significant other in 2003 that was very angry and jealous, drove me back to the relative safety of my Ex husband, who was willing to take us in no questions asked. Our relationship has improved, but I know I must work alone in with all the children relating matters, but at least I have a house, food and someone who loves me. I have shared in depth and sorry this is so long. I tried to add enough information about my path so that you may sort out what is unimportant as an issue. Everything to me is WAY TOO BIG as an emotional Piscean. I feel assaulted by all directions. Overwhelmed and confused on where to begin. This music thing is really bothering me right now though, as it is a wonderful release that somehow, I myself or the universe is keeping me from. Please also look up my blogs below, it will give more insight on my life. Any words of encouragement or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Sincerely Jeanette in Maine visit my blogs at www.larkinpath.blogspot.com www.artist-path.blogspot.com Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 20, 2008 Report Share Posted March 20, 2008 Sat Nam, Let me start by saying you are an amazing artist. May much light come into your creative way and through you may many great and wonderful feelings and beauty enter the world. On that note, your feelings make you who you are. Try surrendering to the way of everything and doing your best. Take joy in the fact that you can still do your best and everything is happening for a reason. The world is wonderful, the sky is beautiful. Smile, look up, look forward, know who you are. Love, Light, Life. Chad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 20, 2008 Report Share Posted March 20, 2008 Sat Nam. Focusing on your heart (your physical heart) and the words you're uttering, say the following prayer. (If your attention wavers, gently bring it back to your heart and the meaning of the actual words you're saying) I COMMIT MYSELF TO THE WILL OF GOD. I GIVE MY HEART AND SOUL TO GOD. I DESERVE THE BEST IN LIFE. I SERVE THE BEST CAUSE IN LIFE. I AM A DIVINE MANIFESTATION OF GOD. I PRAY TO BE ALIGNED WITH THEE OH LORD, I PRAY TO BE THY SERVANT, I PRAY TO FULFILL DIVINE POTENTIAL FOR THY GLORY. AMEN. Leave everything aside, let it all hang out, and concentrate on the prayer, if possible several times a day. Good luck. Kind regards, Glow Jeanette Larkin <lillithdancing wrote: Sat Nam to all The following comes from my journal. It is long, raw, not well written and desperate. I feel embarrased to post it on the web. My Music, I have always been a music lover: found a song line in response to conversations, danced around the house alone, drawn to many instruments and styles. Currently.. The last three or more years, there is a force not allowing me to enjoy music. My music devices cease to work, or become missing.. This happens the car, at home, on walks. I seem to loose specific cds when I yearn for them. Ive never been supported in my love for music. My husband complains when I hum. Recently he told me I had a bad voice. My health: In the last couple of years cold bugs turn to hoarse throats, loosing my voice. Ive had pnuemonia twice in a year. I have recently been diagnosed with hypothryroidism. I have been practicing KY for about three years without a steady commitment or teacher. I recently purchased Gurmukh’s KY dvd and broke down crying during breath of fire. Two years ago I injured my right shoulder walking my border collie. This year I injured my left slipping on the ice. But Yoga is helping them. My feet are a constant problem. Toenail fungus, athletes feet, planters warts are a constant battle: Left foot. My Emotions: emotional/psychological issues have haunted me for as long as I can remember. Depression and anxiety in particular. The Anxiety has become almost debilitating for me since November. Panic attacks in public have been overwhelming me. I have attended groups, individual therapy, Churches, More recently becoming aware of my intake (food, reading, television, news, vitamins and supplements) I have been practicing KY for about three years without a steady commitment. I am a Piscean with problems keeping others energy at bay even miles away. I lack boundries. I am sensitive to weather changes, wind, the moon cycles. I avoid the news because most of it makes me weep for the world. During the past 5 years I have been in battle for my autistic son. He has required three psych hospitalizations, group homes. He has put our lives in constant danger of physical abuse and life threatening situations. We all suffer PTSD. We tried four times to move him back home during these years and it was finally July of 07 when I had to accept I cannot care for him in my own home. I am still devastated, angry, and broken by this. My Career: I divorced my husband in 2000. He is a constant marijuana smoker, would not attend or support all the necessary meetings and therapies for our two children. When I divorced him, I had a small art Studio and talk classes to all ages in drawing, watercolor, acrylics, crafts. And I also offered Antique Art Restoration. I felt in control of my life and although still suffered depression and anxiety, I was active and busy. Since Josephs Psych issues I have become unreliable for employment. My time is spent attending PETs, IEPs filling out DHS paperwork. Teaching Joseph what feelings are. Teaching Nathan at age 14 how to ready for school without melting down and swearing at me when I ask him to brush his teach. In other words my children became so overwhelming and with the help of a significant other in 2003 that was very angry and jealous, drove me back to the relative safety of my Ex husband, who was willing to take us in no questions asked. Our relationship has improved, but I know I must work alone in with all the children relating matters, but at least I have a house, food and someone who loves me. I have shared in depth and sorry this is so long. I tried to add enough information about my path so that you may sort out what is unimportant as an issue. Everything to me is WAY TOO BIG as an emotional Piscean. I feel assaulted by all directions. Overwhelmed and confused on where to begin. This music thing is really bothering me right now though, as it is a wonderful release that somehow, I myself or the universe is keeping me from. Please also look up my blogs below, it will give more insight on my life. Any words of encouragement or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Sincerely Jeanette in Maine visit my blogs at www.larkinpath.blogspot.com www.artist-path.blogspot.com Never miss a thing. Make your homepage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2008 Report Share Posted March 21, 2008 Dear Chad Furman Take joy in the fact that you can still do your best and everything is happening for a reason. The world is wonderful, the sky is beautiful. Smile, look up, look forward, know who you are. beautifully said....touched my heart. so true.... Thank you for sharing (: in oness Jiwan Shakti Kaur ______________________________\ ____ Never miss a thing. Make your home page. http://www./r/hs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2008 Report Share Posted March 22, 2008 Sat Nam, Try doing more physical exercise and grounding exercises. You may need to get more connected to your body, the Earth and your lower chakras. Blessings, Guru Rattana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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