fixation

[Guest guest]

QUESTION:

 

Posted by: " racapellan " racapellan racapellan

Sun Sep 13, 2009 3:46 pm (PDT)

 

 

hi; i need your help. i've been practicing kundalini for the past few years

and i've been able to enjoy it's multiple benefits, both physical and

espiritual. nevertheless, there is this one aspect i haven't been able to

surpas thru practice. it is my fixation when it comes to people with whom i

feel a great deal of incompatibility (apathy). i've complemented my practice

with some reading about reincarnation and the only explanation i find is

that maybe i still hold some sort of " unfinished business " with some of

these people.

 

currently i have this particular case with my brother in law, with whom i

have a limited level of tolerance for his actions. i feel extermely

unconfortable when i'm arround him since i see him as an arrogant person,

who shows little gratefulness to the universe for the blessings he's

received (no humbleness at all). this all goes against my actual believes

and values. the thing is, i don't know if this feeling of mine has a

particular espiritual base, or if it's just a simple case of mental

fixation, and how to solve it?

 

if it were about any other person maybe ignoring him would be the wisest

choice, but in this case it's about a close family contact with whom i have

to deal with frequently. i've tried to discuss this with my wife and assess

the possibility of even speaking frankly about this with him, but the way we

see it, it's a mather of carachter, and it's all very difficult to change.

besides, why would it be my quest to change this person? this situation is

the anti-thesis of my line of thinking and the things i believe and value

out of life, i even see this person as a bad influence for my dearest and

closest ones.

 

i would truly appreciate any insights you might be able to provide in this

matter.

Sat Nam! Rafael.

 

REPLY:

Satnaam Rafael.

 

Baba ji taught me to remember that absolutely no-one is our enemy. Only our

five thieves (anger, greed, attachment, lust and pride) are our enemies.

When these thieves get aroused within us, they make us point the finger at

others. But we have to remember " I am not good and no-one is bad. Praying

like this #nanak has been ferried across. " And turn the finger inwards and

identify which if thieves is getting aggravated. In this caase it is your

ego that is getting offended which leads to anger towards the other person.

The solution is very simple, in your meditation become relaxed and get into

a loving state. Then bring this person into your mind, bow to their soul

(the God-part) in them, and wash their feet whilst reciting " no ego , only

YOU SatNaam , only You " . Keep doing this until you actually only see

SatNaam in them or your spiritual mentor/Guru. And keep doing it every day

in your meditation until this thorn of ego leaves you. Otherwise everyday

it will just prick you more and more.

You may find it very difficult to even imagine bowing to this person in your

mind, but that show how thick your ego has become.

So that is the real battle, the inner struggle with ego and anger, and not

with any other person in the world.

Then also pray for the upliftment of the other person, think good for them,

try and focus on even 1% of good they have, rather than the 99% of seemingly

bad.

Then also thank them for being in your life, because they are also your

teacher, for they have shown you that you have ego and anger still to deal

with.

 

We have been through the same thing with our own family, wife and

community. Its a stage we all have to go through. So keep going through

all these levels of lower consciousness and reach Truth (SatNaam)

consciousness where there is nothing but love and compassion in your heart

for one and all.

 

God Bless You

Harjit

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam Rafael,

 

Through your practice you've started to become aware of your mind's

judgements, and because you have become an authentic human being,

inauthenticity in people's behaviour seems distasteful. The key is that

your brother-in-law is also just another part of you, so if you help

him, then you also help yourself. There's two ways to deal with this.

 

One way is to call him up and express how you feel about it to get it

off your chest. You can just be very simple and direct about it without

trying to make him wrong or getting into an argument, but just that from

your point of view the way he acts is very ungrateful and that it

affects you negatively. This way requires courage but if done correctly,

its impact can change both your lives. The key learning is not in

changing him, its in how you change yourself in learning to express the

truth.

 

The second way is usually used for those not close to you, or who you

don't have permission enough to tell them they are not acting right.

Here, you would silently bless the person as they are being ungrateful

by saying Sat Naam. Eventually, the impact of the blessing will change

the person's destiny and bring the person on the right path, in their

own way. This doesn't require courage, but it does require compassion

and kindness.

 

Both ways are effective, but for this particular situation, the first

way will be the most effective and have the greatest learning. Please do

whatever your intuition tells you is right.

 

Sat Naam,

 

J.

Kundaliniyoga , " racapellan " <racapellan

wrote:

>

> hi; i need your help. i've been practicing kundalini for the past few

years and i've been able to enjoy it's multiple benefits, both physical

and espiritual. nevertheless, there is this one aspect i haven't been

able to surpas thru practice. it is my fixation when it comes to people

with whom i feel a great deal of incompatibility (apathy). i've

complemented my practice with some reading about reincarnation and the

only explanation i find is that maybe i still hold some sort of

" unfinished business " with some of these people.

>

> currently i have this particular case with my brother in law, with

whom i have a limited level of tolerance for his actions. i feel

extermely unconfortable when i'm arround him since i see him as an

arrogant person, who shows little gratefulness to the universe for the

blessings he's received (no humbleness at all). this all goes against my

actual believes and values. the thing is, i don't know if this feeling

of mine has a particular espiritual base, or if it's just a simple case

of mental fixation, and how to solve it?

>

> if it were about any other person maybe ignoring him would be the

wisest choice, but in this case it's about a close family contact with

whom i have to deal with frequently. i've tried to discuss this with my

wife and assess the possibility of even speaking frankly about this with

him, but the way we see it, it's a mather of carachter, and it's all

very difficult to change. besides, why would it be my quest to change

this person? this situation is the anti-thesis of my line of thinking

and the things i believe and value out of life, i even see this person

as a bad influence for my dearest and closest ones.

>

> i would truly appreciate any insights you might be able to provide in

this matter.

>

> Sat Nam! Rafael.

>