doubt

[Guest guest]

Dear brother Jake,Your reaction is totally understand able, you lost a precious friend, someone who sounds like a wonderful soul and it is very sad the way she chose to leave for those who stay behind and feel the empty space she once filled.But, I do believe she made her choice, I always see it as GoD has a job opening in another realm and calls out for angels, some people here receive the job alert and decide to apply, they then spread their wings and fly away.Your heart was grieving and in pain dear one, it all seems so sensless at times, and yet every single moment of life means so much, every drop of love and kindness adds to create a vast ocean, her love and your love create so much light, every thing we do is precious and meaningful, even if we never manage to complete a task or heal ourselves fully, the journey and how we went

about it was the real gift we gave. The gift of our being.Blessings to you at this time, and may Ira fly high, and may she look down upon us and sprinkle love and healing , perhaps moon walk with Michael across the heavensx x x elektra x x x

[Guest guest]

Dearest Jake,

 

To have it here - written - this glorious turn of the wheel. In a matter of

days, then in a message - a seed planted for all others.

 

The falling, the getting back up. The falling, the crying, the despair, the

magical moment of realisation. The continued journey.

 

How blessed we are to call you ours.

 

It seems to me, at these moments of hurt and incomprehension that we soften

enough to 'not know' and then, we seem to grasp it all a little better.

 

Cheers my friends. Let's raise our glasses, full of joy and laughter for the

Mystery. The sacred. Our journey. And for us - for our courage, our strength and

for our community (the commons in our unity).

 

Much love and tenderness of spirit

 

, Andrew Carney

<jakecarney36 wrote:

>

> Thank you my family.

>  

> Peace and love,

> Jake

>  

>  

>

[Guest guest]

Until we reach a place of specific understanding we cannot accurately account

for the dynamics of educations of ourselves and others and how these are given

and released from.

 

We, even in the unawakened state, walk within the grace of the divine and from

that grace do we live and shine and leave. Why does the blooming flower ever dim

its radiance? So that others, many others, may replace it.

 

The seeds of our journey here resonate for eternity. We leave because it is

time. If we wish to return we will do so when that time is best for us to

return. Irene knows this now. - blessings to her and you dear Jake! - chrism

[Guest guest]

Dear Jake,Silently walking through this time with you, holding you up when your wings fail. Blessings and love to you. Celebrate the life of your friend. Celebrate your own life, as we who have the privilege to "know" you, celebrate you in our lives.Peace of God be upon you, the soul of Ira, and her family,Julie--- On Fri, 7/31/09, Andrew Carney <jakecarney36 wrote:Andrew Carney <jakecarney36 doubt Date: Friday, July 31,

2009, 7:51 AM

 

 

 

After my friend Irene (Ira) committed suicide by overdosing on prescription medication a few days ago I lost my faith in God. She was frequently depressed for over 25 years and had a few close calls with overdoses and hospitalizations. She prayed to be released from her mental disorder, as well as for the healing and well being of others. She had made pilgrimages around the world to visit miracle icons for the healing of herself and others. I thought that she should be given peace sometime in her life. Her death made me feel that I could not conquer my mental disorder in this life and that I could not help others with the same problem, which is my life's desire.

 

My wife asked me to pray as we frequently do. I said that I couldn't because I just didn't believe anymore. When I awoke during the night, my fingers and tongue were in the habitual locked positions. I quickly released these locks, wanting nothing to do with the spiritual world that I lived for over 30 years. This change of heart seemed so strange to me. My world, up to this point, was totally spiritually explained and oriented. Now it was upside down.

 

We went to Irene's parents to visit and be of help. They are in their early 80's, and her mother is not in good health.Her father walks faster than me. For the first few minutes I was empathetic but could not pray or ask for some relief for them. I meditated about any messages that she had for us. I did not receive anything. I started to pray that her parents be protected, loved and helped through their ordeal.

 

When I arrived home there was only one place for me to go. No, I couldn't watch Ed Sullivan show re-runs, I had to go to my home here at the site. Instantly the posts of Chrism, Tiffany, Electra, Sparrow, Bruce,e and others seemed to warm me and make me feel at though I was back home. Every post, not only those mentioned, touched my heart. Sarita, in a healing reply, said that the choice to stay or go was hers. I started to slowly realize that she had to leave for a reason that I don't know. Now I am back praying to saints and sages of any religion, anybody that will listen, for all those in my care.

 

Thank you all for the high Divine qualities that are exhibited on this site. There is nowhere else on earth to learn to live at such a rapid rate. There is no place that is higher spiritually. If I go anywhere else I loose interest immediately. You are all a big part of my life, thoughts and prayers. Thank you my family.

 

Peace and love,

Jake

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Jake,

 

welcome back brother, and good to read your post. The first thing that comes to

mind is a quote from Joseph Campbell, where he says 'participate with joy in the

sorrows of the world'.

 

I felt sad for the death of your friend, and for your struggle and I wish she

could have found her healing, and I wish that you too can be healed. Did you

ever read a book called 'Grace and Grit' by Ken Wilber? He met his soulmate,

married her a few months later, and a week or so after their wedding she was

diagnosed with the worst form of breast cancer, and after a five year struggle,

she died.

 

I dont know why we suffer. I can speculate, and one way to define suffering is

(suffering = reresistance + pain), and from that position, its the ego's fault.

Yet, no matter how much I speculate, its always tough to live the paradox that

God is Love, Love is all powerful, yet in the midst of this loving universe,

suffering and sickness takes life. The promise of authentic spirituality is not

so much to end pain, bit rather, through the freedom grounded in recognizing the

True Self, to end resistance and open to what is, open to the pain and the

beauty and hold it within Oneself, within the mind of God. I looked at an old

lady in a wheelchair yesterday, who was shrivelled up and looked like she was

made of matchsticks and had sores on teh side of her face. She must have been

near death and her body was the size of a small child. From the outside, her

quality of life looked terrible, and I wondered what makes a human being find

meaning in that life. All I could do was breathe love to her, wonder if I rather

commit suicide if I reached that point, and hold her for a moment in my aching

heart. SOmetimes the suffering is too much, and I also wonder if God hears me,

and sometimes the nights have been very dark. The next moment, I let go and

dance with the laughter of child running on the street.

 

Coming back to Ken Wilber and his wife, the story was one of tremendous courage

in the face of death. Isnt that the condition we all find ourselves in? We are

asked to live a life of meaning, knowing we will die and it will all be gone and

that is a paradox to confront. We all have our limitations, and in the face of

that, what do we choose to embody, no matter how difficult? Do we choose to

embody peace, tolerance, love and light, in the midst of our suffering? Do we

participate with joy in the sorrows of this world, our world?

 

From what you say, I feel your friend lived the spiritual life. She took action

to meet teachers, to connect to God, to pray, to seek for her healing, to hold

the intention to serve others and she did her best to live those intentions.

Even if she was healed, there would be futhur challenges of service,

contribution and effectiveness to be faced. I feel the point is that she honored

the call of her Higher Self and seeked healing, and for whatever reason, in this

life, it wasnt to be.

 

The same with you, my friend; I get a sense that you are fighting the good

fight, struggling to overcome your limitations and seeking God, and that is

Eros, that is the creative impulse alive within you and directing your path..

 

My prayers are with you for your healing..

 

love and acceptance

Bruce

 

> Her death made me feel that I could not conquer my mental disorder in this

life and that I could not help others with the same problem, which is my life's

desire.

[Guest guest]

Hi Jake – I am sorry to hear about the loss of your friend – it is sometimes

hard to see clearly in instances like this where there are so many apparent

contradictions. Many of us have been there at different points in time and,

while at that specific point in time we are confused, have doubt, and feel like

little makes sense, things do happen later that `knit' together all that has

happened and then the lessons become apparent and we can see the purpose behind

what has occurred. Sometimes that time span for clarity to appear can be years

– it was so in several such instances in my life.

 

Irene is still here but in a more complete form, following her path in

existence, and considerably `more' than the Irene you knew in the physical. Her

death may have been preplanned prior to this incarnation, or she may have

reached a point where there was little more to be learned in her current format

in this physical life. While you will not know or understand the reasons or

logic behind her leaving this plane, know that she does know and that she is

moving forward as we all are. She will be at peace and `greater' for her

experiences while here as Irene.

 

Try not to grieve her leaving, but take comfort that she is indeed another step

further down the road of existence. It is not improbable that you will meet

again, whether in different form on the physical but most certainly on the

higher planes. In the meantime be at peace with yourself and do not lose your

own focus – there is much we do not understand or fully comprehend at this level

but all will become clear later. Blessings - Jonathan

[Guest guest]

Thanks to the wonderful people that posted concerning "doubt." Among them were Chrism, Jonathan, e, Electra, Linda, Sarita, Bradly, Bruce, Julie, Sparrow and Tiffany. I showed my wife, Eleonora, all your nice words before we went to bring food to Ira's parents. She finally got to see what high ideals were written on this site. You reiterated some of what she and I know and brought us comfort to see it in words. A new twist to the old Hari Christna epic song now echoes in my mind. "Is there an answer in their sweet postings that tells me why I live and die?" I really mean it, that song sturs me. I can't help being corny, I grew up with an Irish mother.

 

When we got to her parients' apartment I sat on the most gorgous little balcony that is off Ira's room. The apartment house is one of the many highrisers built cheeply called Kruchev, because they were built in his era. I felt better being there than being at the best resort. Her last cigareetts lay in a small can on the side. On your way through her room, on the wall, is every imaginable Madonna and Child rendition. Facing the balcony is a birtch tree with its thousand eyes. Sparrows wound there way through her hair. I asked it a thousand questions. The spot was as simple as she, shaded, breezy and still.

 

Her work was to bring new energy supplies to Ukraine. The funeral repast was at her work. The other night Eleonora told me that she never had a bad word for anyone and was never mad for any reason. When people toasted her they just expounded on this and said that they wished that they could be more like her. They went on to say that she would stay after her shift to comfort a comfort a supervisor or anyone that was disdraught or needed a friend. Everyone from jenitors to doctors spoke simply from the heart about her caring.

 

Again, my heartfelt thanks to all on this site. Hope that I can give to you what you give to me. I believe that you all benefit humanity by every stroke of your keys.

 

Love,

Jake

[Guest guest]

Hi Julia. Good Morning to you too.

 

 

 

What is Doubt? That constant nagging loud voice inside our head going over

and over the subject at hand. We tend to over analyze and " THINK " in every

angle.

 

What if this or that? Is this possible, blah.blah.blah. or the who, when ,

where and why's? These are the very words that keep me awake a night. I am

beyond help with this one..I grew up this way..I think ahead.way ahead of

all the possibilities. I could honestly say I am compulsive with this one up

to a point then I let it go. We can only hang on to it for so long. I used

to be so bothered by this but now I just know I am this way and I accept it

as the method of helping me to visualize the whole picture. Doubt is like

not knowing if we should go left or right, up or down, etc. etc. Frustrating

as all get out. I want to scream so loudly at doubt to get lost and get

right straight to the point . I don't have all day! I am attempting to

change but at this time I am not receptive. My old ways overrule any new

thoughts of change not all but a few. I am a analyzing thinker and doubting

just arrives on its own. I accept it as it IS.

 

 

 

Namaste'

 

Denny

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Denny... thanks for sharing your thoughts on doubt.... what is doubt?   

probably the word doubt does not really describe what doubt is.... or is not.  

There are probably different forms of doubt.. the particular doubt I experienced

recently was  one that  blocked  knowledge or wisdom from coming through.. but

when I gave the doubt  time, when I was present  instead of getting caught up in

the drama of frustration and non listening.... instead of screaming at the doubt

and being cross that it....something said triggered me to sort of let the

doubt speak to me.... something occured in the quiet...the doubt resolved  peace

returned and I now " know " .  The doubt was turned inside out and became part of

the new knowing. This has occured a couple of times recently and I guess I am a

bit excited by it...Hard enough to put words on this,because this  was

experienced rather than analyzed to resolution.

 

I have found that some doubts are really choices that I refuse to make.... some

forms of doubt are procrastionations in dusguise....and for me over analyzing

has definitly been a long detour at times.

I am realising for myself  that some forms of doubt like  circuling thoughts and

other mind battering forms are very destructive and I think perhaps " worse "  in

some ways than attachment to things or people.  I have been " working " on non

attachment for some time now  but I had not really and truelly realised that

attachment to some forms of doubt was very much here in me.     Anyway more of

my 2 cent worth thoughts on doubt.

Love Julia

 

 

 

 

 

________________________________

Denny Norton <dennynorton

 

Wed, November 25, 2009 11:57:22 AM

RE: doubt

 

 

Hi Julia. Good Morning to you too.

 

What is Doubt? That constant nagging loud voice inside our head going over

and over the subject at hand. We tend to over analyze and " THINK " in every

angle.

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

hi  sir this is rajesh  i am getting sleep while mediating  i usually sleep 8

hours per day but still i am getting sleep while doing mediation

my dediation type is chanting a mantra and concentrating in between eyebrows .so

please tell me  how to avoid it

thanku sir

 

 

 

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