Guest guest Posted March 5, 2010 Report Share Posted March 5, 2010 SatNaam - (SAT) Eternal Truth is The (NAAM) Infinite Divine Power. Dandauth Bandhna - please accept our prostration greeting at your feet. Dear Luke, thankyou for your email on the kundalini forum, we feel for you. This is the beginning of your journey to Truth in this life. All pain is medicine for us to wake us up out of the illusion and make us ask why am I in pain? What is the Truth? Only good is going to come out of what you are going through. First of all you will see through the illusion of false life, then with blessings you will be remade in Truth. All pain we suffer is due to our past deeds, past of this life or more likely in your past lives. Some things the doctors and yoga and lifestyle changes can fix, others only a blessed soul can fix. Baba ji (my guru) explained that depression is when your soul has to walk through the valley of death due to the attrocities you have committed in the past. The number of days you have to suffer is exactly according to what you have sown in the past. This is how the LAW OF KARMA plays out. This is why we are reborn, to pay our dues, before we can go back to the Source - Sat Naam, the Truth. The only way to reduce our karma is through the grace of the divine soul that you are destined to meet. Through His/Her blessings, our Karma account is reduced, when He blesses us wuth the Grace, the Eternal blessings of Naam, he takes on board all our pain, and lifts us up with the divine Light. Without a Guru like is just walking through the valley of death. With the Guru's blessings, we are given wings, which we call Naam, Sat Naam. But in the meantime, please start praying to God-Guru every day, all the time and pray for forgiveness for whatever it is that you have done in the past/past life which you are having to suffer for now. As soon as we ask for forgivness we are forgiven, God-Guru is that kind. You days in the valley of death will be reduced even faster when you find your Guru and start doing Naam simran (meditation on Naam) , that is the only way to wipe millions of sins clear. God-Guru Bless you always and forever to meet your God-Guru and be blessed with the Naam. Feel free to email us. Harjit === Severe Problem Posted by: " lukehutton " hutton.luke lukehutton Thu Mar 4, 2010 7:09 pm (PST) I'm not too sure what to say, or what could be said in responce, but it's been over 4 years now, from the age of 16 to almost 21 that i havn't slept properly, havn't been able to cry, release any stress/emotion. have become more and more detatched and completelty worn out and exhausted, with intolerable headaches and struggeling. it makes me feel sick to see life slip by. unengaged. i've done everything i feel i can, tried every therapy, tried to get my life back on track. doctors have diagnosed it as psychosis but its a broad term. but i admit it started with psychedelic drug use, not much but a few times, (mainly one nasty trip). (aged 16) i know drug use has no place in yoga, and quickly realised yoga was what i was looking for in psychedelics anyway. and 2 years ago drinking ayahuasca, which furthered problems. i'm only really writing this, as before i use to find yoga helpful, but today i attended a class and even though i found some mild benefits, i found myself more detatched than ever, and unable to connect with anything, rythem, breathing, sensations and no concentration. the best way i can compare it is the part of you thats wants to dance when you hear music, but not begin able to move with it, and it's moving further away. i'm just worried im becoming completely swallowed by this, coming to a place i might never come back from. i havn't really said much about it for at least a year or two hoping it was just after affects of ayahuasca or that'd it'd heal itself in time. but constantly getting overwhlemed by frustration and anger. burning out and exhausted, not to mention a long list of syptoms from severe insomnia, acute distress, migraines and dissociation. i find the frustration mainly stems from lack of perspective, i'v never encountered a problem i've been completely disabled by capable of handeling or understanding what to do, it's really taking its toll on all areas of my life and my personality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 5, 2010 Report Share Posted March 5, 2010 Wahe Guru! My sincere prayers to Guru Ram Das that a ray of hope be made visible to you soon. -Akkama http://omguru-reflections.blogspot.com/ Love,Light,Peace --- On Thu, 3/4/10, lukehutton <hutton.luke wrote: lukehutton <hutton.luke Kundalini Yoga Severe Problem Kundaliniyoga Thursday, March 4, 2010, 6:48 PM  I'm not too sure what to say, or what could be said in responce, but it's been over 4 years now, from the age of 16 to almost 21 that i havn't slept properly, havn't been able to cry, release any stress/emotion. have become more and more detatched and completelty worn out and exhausted, with intolerable headaches and struggeling. it makes me feel sick to see life slip by. unengaged. i've done everything i feel i can, tried every therapy, tried to get my life back on track. doctors have diagnosed it as psychosis but its a broad term. but i admit it started with psychedelic drug use, not much but a few times, (mainly one nasty trip). (aged 16) i know drug use has no place in yoga, and quickly realised yoga was what i was looking for in psychedelics anyway. and 2 years ago drinking ayahuasca, which furthered problems. i'm only really writing this, as before i use to find yoga helpful, but today i attended a class and even though i found some mild benefits, i found myself more detatched than ever, and unable to connect with anything, rythem, breathing, sensations and no concentration. the best way i can compare it is the part of you thats wants to dance when you hear music, but not begin able to move with it, and it's moving further away. i'm just worried im becoming completely swallowed by this, coming to a place i might never come back from. i havn't really said much about it for at least a year or two hoping it was just after affects of ayahuasca or that'd it'd heal itself in time. but constantly getting overwhlemed by frustration and anger. burning out and exhausted, not to mention a long list of syptoms from severe insomnia, acute distress, migraines and dissociation. i find the frustration mainly stems from lack of perspective, i'v never encountered a problem i've been completely disabled by capable of handeling or understanding what to do, it's really taking its toll on all areas of my life and my personality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 I just wanted to add, Luke, that severe detachment is a symptom of depression. Your depression is there for a reason, however. Treat your depression as if it were a person, and ask it why it is there, or what it has to tell you. Don't treat it as an adversary. Fighting and fear usually don't help. Accept it, then figure out what you need to learn from it. Also, I know you're probably afraid of any drug, but I bet a good antidepressant could help you. By the way, psychosis can also be part of a depression. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Hi Thanks for all the responces, I'm not sure if i'm depressed or not, i've experienced severe depression and anxiety in the past and it's not the same, some aspects are simular in terms of the pains purpose, but this is before the dissociation set in, now it's more like i'm just not here. I havn't mentioned i did have a brief spell in a psychiatric ward, for only a few weeks 3 years ago, when i completely couldn't sleep, also a few bizarre experience during that time such as burning my wrist simply by looking at it (literal burn which left a small scar). i took olanzapine for 3 months and felt i never came back from it, it's hard to remember what really happened, and i feel its heavily linked to the sleeplessnes, invloving some terrible fear of that time. whether theres something to genuinly fear or not is another question, alot of exhaustion comes from attempting to suppress memory etc. i feel there is alot of energy involved, alot of ungroundedness and i see pain as a helpful thing (normally), just the pain becomes so overwhelming (physically and emotionally) i only want to escape and find it deconstructive. in answer to one of the questions, yes i drank ayahuasca in south america, in peru in a ceremonial setting. i can see the benefits ayahausca could potentially have (why its called la medecina etc), however, it wasn't helpful in this situation. Kundaliniyoga , " lukehutton " <hutton.luke wrote: > > I'm not too sure what to say, or what could be said in responce, > > but it's been over 4 years now, from the age of 16 to almost 21 > that i havn't slept properly, havn't been able to cry, release any stress/emotion. > > have become more and more detatched and completelty worn out and exhausted, with intolerable headaches and struggeling. > > it makes me feel sick to see life slip by. unengaged. > > i've done everything i feel i can, tried every therapy, tried to get my life back on track. > > doctors have diagnosed it as psychosis but its a broad term. > > but i admit it started with psychedelic drug use, not much but a few times, (mainly one nasty trip). (aged 16) > > i know drug use has no place in yoga, and quickly realised yoga was what i was looking for in psychedelics anyway. > > and 2 years ago drinking ayahuasca, which furthered problems. > > > i'm only really writing this, as before i use to find yoga helpful, but today i attended a class and even though i found some mild benefits, i found myself more detatched than ever, and unable to connect with anything, rythem, breathing, sensations and no concentration. > > the best way i can compare it is the part of you thats wants to dance when you hear music, but not begin able to move with it, and it's moving further away. > > > i'm just worried im becoming completely swallowed by this, coming to a place i might never come back from. > > i havn't really said much about it for at least a year or two hoping it was just after affects of ayahuasca or that'd it'd heal itself in time. > > but constantly getting overwhlemed by frustration and anger. > > burning out and exhausted, not to mention a long list of syptoms from severe insomnia, acute distress, migraines and dissociation. > > i find the frustration mainly stems from lack of perspective, i'v never encountered a problem i've been completely disabled by capable of handeling or understanding what to do, it's really taking its toll on all areas of my life and my personality. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Sat Nam Luke, Some times I also need external support to get over a strong feeling that it would have been easier if I was in a different time and space. I found a few things to help me during these times: 1. Attend a Kundulini yoga class, or a series, at a local yoga school. 2. Go to church or intensely pray from my heart and ask for help. 3. Do the set presented by Gurmukh on her " Kundulini Yoga " DVD. This set is a very good heart opener. I also feel like the energy of the group and teacher in that DVD is strong enough to give me the support I usually receive from a live class (the CD can be found at www.yogatech.com or any Whole Foods store) 4. Attend Summer/Winter Solstice. Summer Solstice is very close (see www.3ho.org for details). There are about 2000 people meditating together, and many experienced teachers. The energy is great, and 3 days of white tantric in a row could help one work fast through many, many issues. May God's blessing always be with you. Prem Siri Kaur " lukehutton " <hutton.luke Sat, 06 Mar 2010 12:00:34 <Kundaliniyoga > Kundalini Yoga Re: Severe Problem Hi Thanks for all the responces, I'm not sure if i'm depressed or not, i've experienced severe depression and anxiety in the past and it's not the same, some aspects are simular in terms of the pains purpose, but this is before the dissociation set in, now it's more like i'm just not here. I havn't mentioned i did have a brief spell in a psychiatric ward, for only a few weeks 3 years ago, when i completely couldn't sleep, also a few bizarre experience during that time such as burning my wrist simply by looking at it (literal burn which left a small scar). i took olanzapine for 3 months and felt i never came back from it, it's hard to remember what really happened, and i feel its heavily linked to the sleeplessnes, invloving some terrible fear of that time. whether theres something to genuinly fear or not is another question, alot of exhaustion comes from attempting to suppress memory etc. i feel there is alot of energy involved, alot of ungroundedness and i see pain as a helpful thing (normally), just the pain becomes so overwhelming (physically and emotionally) i only want to escape and find it deconstructive. in answer to one of the questions, yes i drank ayahuasca in south america, in peru in a ceremonial setting. i can see the benefits ayahausca could potentially have (why its called la medecina etc), however, it wasn't helpful in this situation. Kundaliniyoga , " lukehutton " <hutton.luke wrote: > > I'm not too sure what to say, or what could be said in responce, > > but it's been over 4 years now, from the age of 16 to almost 21 > that i havn't slept properly, havn't been able to cry, release any stress/emotion. > > have become more and more detatched and completelty worn out and exhausted, with intolerable headaches and struggeling. > > it makes me feel sick to see life slip by. unengaged. > > i've done everything i feel i can, tried every therapy, tried to get my life back on track. > > doctors have diagnosed it as psychosis but its a broad term. > > but i admit it started with psychedelic drug use, not much but a few times, (mainly one nasty trip). (aged 16) > > i know drug use has no place in yoga, and quickly realised yoga was what i was looking for in psychedelics anyway. > > and 2 years ago drinking ayahuasca, which furthered problems. > > > i'm only really writing this, as before i use to find yoga helpful, but today i attended a class and even though i found some mild benefits, i found myself more detatched than ever, and unable to connect with anything, rythem, breathing, sensations and no concentration. > > the best way i can compare it is the part of you thats wants to dance when you hear music, but not begin able to move with it, and it's moving further away. > > > i'm just worried im becoming completely swallowed by this, coming to a place i might never come back from. > > i havn't really said much about it for at least a year or two hoping it was just after affects of ayahuasca or that'd it'd heal itself in time. > > but constantly getting overwhlemed by frustration and anger. > > burning out and exhausted, not to mention a long list of syptoms from severe insomnia, acute distress, migraines and dissociation. > > i find the frustration mainly stems from lack of perspective, i'v never encountered a problem i've been completely disabled by capable of handeling or understanding what to do, it's really taking its toll on all areas of my life and my personality. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 6, 2010 Report Share Posted March 6, 2010 Another great event is a White Tantra workshop -- really opens the heart and is a great " booster shot! " <http://www.beliefnet.com/media/spacer.gif> Life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be. - Grandma Moses _____ Kundaliniyoga [Kundaliniyoga ] On Behalf Of Antonia Tosa Saturday, March 06, 2010 9:54 AM Kundaliniyoga Re: Kundalini Yoga Re: Severe Problem Sat Nam Luke, Some times I also need external support to get over a strong feeling that it would have been easier if I was in a different time and space. I found a few things to help me during these times: 1. Attend a Kundulini yoga class, or a series, at a local yoga school. 2. Go to church or intensely pray from my heart and ask for help. 3. Do the set presented by Gurmukh on her " Kundulini Yoga " DVD. This set is a very good heart opener. I also feel like the energy of the group and teacher in that DVD is strong enough to give me the support I usually receive from a live class (the CD can be found at www.yogatech.com or any Whole Foods store) 4. Attend Summer/Winter Solstice. Summer Solstice is very close (see www.3ho.org for details). There are about 2000 people meditating together, and many experienced teachers. The energy is great, and 3 days of white tantric in a row could help one work fast through many, many issues. May God's blessing always be with you. Prem Siri Kaur " lukehutton (AT) ymail (DOT) <lukehutton%40ymail.com> com " <hutton.luke@ <hutton.luke%40gmail.com> gmail.com> Sat, 06 Mar 2010 12:00:34 <Kundaliniyoga@ <Kundaliniyoga%40> > Kundalini Yoga Re: Severe Problem Hi Thanks for all the responces, I'm not sure if i'm depressed or not, i've experienced severe depression and anxiety in the past and it's not the same, some aspects are simular in terms of the pains purpose, but this is before the dissociation set in, now it's more like i'm just not here. I havn't mentioned i did have a brief spell in a psychiatric ward, for only a few weeks 3 years ago, when i completely couldn't sleep, also a few bizarre experience during that time such as burning my wrist simply by looking at it (literal burn which left a small scar). i took olanzapine for 3 months and felt i never came back from it, it's hard to remember what really happened, and i feel its heavily linked to the sleeplessnes, invloving some terrible fear of that time. whether theres something to genuinly fear or not is another question, alot of exhaustion comes from attempting to suppress memory etc. i feel there is alot of energy involved, alot of ungroundedness and i see pain as a helpful thing (normally), just the pain becomes so overwhelming (physically and emotionally) i only want to escape and find it deconstructive. in answer to one of the questions, yes i drank ayahuasca in south america, in peru in a ceremonial setting. i can see the benefits ayahausca could potentially have (why its called la medecina etc), however, it wasn't helpful in this situation. Kundaliniyoga@ <Kundaliniyoga%40> , " lukehutton " <hutton.luke wrote: > > I'm not too sure what to say, or what could be said in responce, > > but it's been over 4 years now, from the age of 16 to almost 21 > that i havn't slept properly, havn't been able to cry, release any stress/emotion. > > have become more and more detatched and completelty worn out and exhausted, with intolerable headaches and struggeling. > > it makes me feel sick to see life slip by. unengaged. > > i've done everything i feel i can, tried every therapy, tried to get my life back on track. > > doctors have diagnosed it as psychosis but its a broad term. > > but i admit it started with psychedelic drug use, not much but a few times, (mainly one nasty trip). (aged 16) > > i know drug use has no place in yoga, and quickly realised yoga was what i was looking for in psychedelics anyway. > > and 2 years ago drinking ayahuasca, which furthered problems. > > > i'm only really writing this, as before i use to find yoga helpful, but today i attended a class and even though i found some mild benefits, i found myself more detatched than ever, and unable to connect with anything, rythem, breathing, sensations and no concentration. > > the best way i can compare it is the part of you thats wants to dance when you hear music, but not begin able to move with it, and it's moving further away. > > > i'm just worried im becoming completely swallowed by this, coming to a place i might never come back from. > > i havn't really said much about it for at least a year or two hoping it was just after affects of ayahuasca or that'd it'd heal itself in time. > > but constantly getting overwhlemed by frustration and anger. > > burning out and exhausted, not to mention a long list of syptoms from severe insomnia, acute distress, migraines and dissociation. > > i find the frustration mainly stems from lack of perspective, i'v never encountered a problem i've been completely disabled by capable of handeling or understanding what to do, it's really taking its toll on all areas of my life and my personality. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2010 Report Share Posted March 8, 2010 To Luke: Profound dissociation is definitely a symptom of depression, and psychosis can be as well. Don't let psychosis draw you in. According to Zen masters, that is the " monkey " mind playing tricks with you. It is true that meditation of any kind will help you, and remember, discipline is essential. But you also need a good psychologist or psychiatrist and possibly the right medication. Keep looking until you find these things. Remember however, the answer is inside of you, not outside of you. Also remember to " let go; let God. " Let your worries go out into the universe, where the divine process will help to take care of you. The answers will come to you some day, after you have been persistent, but in a relaxed and yielding way. On Sat, Mar 6, 2010 at 2:39 PM, pamela <pamela wrote: > > > Another great event is a White Tantra workshop -- really opens the heart > and > is a great " booster shot! " > > <http://www.beliefnet.com/media/spacer.gif> > Life is what we make it. Always has been, always will be. > > - Grandma Moses > > _____ > > Kundaliniyoga <Kundaliniyoga%40>[ > Kundaliniyoga <Kundaliniyoga%40>] > On Behalf Of Antonia Tosa > Saturday, March 06, 2010 9:54 AM > Kundaliniyoga <Kundaliniyoga%40> > Re: Kundalini Yoga Re: Severe Problem > > > Sat Nam Luke, > > Some times I also need external support to get over a strong feeling that > it > would have been easier if I was in a different time and space. > > I found a few things to help me during these times: > > 1. Attend a Kundulini yoga class, or a series, at a local yoga school. > > 2. Go to church or intensely pray from my heart and ask for help. > > 3. Do the set presented by Gurmukh on her " Kundulini Yoga " DVD. This set is > a very good heart opener. I also feel like the energy of the group and > teacher in that DVD is strong enough to give me the support I usually > receive from a live class (the CD can be found at www.yogatech.com or any > Whole Foods store) > > 4. Attend Summer/Winter Solstice. Summer Solstice is very close (see > www.3ho.org for details). There are about 2000 people meditating together, > and many experienced teachers. The energy is great, and 3 days of white > tantric in a row could help one work fast through many, many issues. > > May God's blessing always be with you. > Prem Siri Kaur > > " lukehutton (AT) ymail (DOT) <lukehutton%40ymail.com<lukehutton%2540ymail.com>> > com " <hutton.luke@ > <hutton.luke%40gmail.com <hutton.luke%2540gmail.com>> gmail.com> > Sat, 06 Mar 2010 12:00:34 > <Kundaliniyoga@ <Kundaliniyoga%40<Kundaliniyoga%2540> > > > > > Kundalini Yoga Re: Severe Problem > > Hi > Thanks for all the responces, > I'm not sure if i'm depressed or not, > > i've experienced severe depression and anxiety in the past and it's not the > same, some aspects are simular in terms of the pains purpose, but this is > before the dissociation set in, now it's more like i'm just not here. > > I havn't mentioned i did have a brief spell in a psychiatric ward, for only > a few weeks 3 years ago, when i completely couldn't sleep, also a few > bizarre experience during that time such as burning my wrist simply by > looking at it (literal burn which left a small scar). > > i took olanzapine for 3 months and felt i never came back from it, it's > hard > to remember what really happened, and i feel its heavily linked to the > sleeplessnes, invloving some terrible fear of that time. > > whether theres something to genuinly fear or not is another question, alot > of exhaustion comes from attempting to suppress memory etc. > > i feel there is alot of energy involved, alot of ungroundedness and i see > pain as a helpful thing (normally), just the pain becomes so overwhelming > (physically and emotionally) i only want to escape and find it > deconstructive. > > in answer to one of the questions, yes i drank ayahuasca in south america, > in peru in a ceremonial setting. > > i can see the benefits ayahausca could potentially have (why its called la > medecina etc), however, it wasn't helpful in this situation. > > Kundaliniyoga@ <Kundaliniyoga%40<Kundaliniyoga%2540>> > > > , " lukehutton " <hutton.luke wrote: > > > > I'm not too sure what to say, or what could be said in responce, > > > > but it's been over 4 years now, from the age of 16 to almost 21 > > that i havn't slept properly, havn't been able to cry, release any > stress/emotion. > > > > have become more and more detatched and completelty worn out and > exhausted, with intolerable headaches and struggeling. > > > > it makes me feel sick to see life slip by. unengaged. > > > > i've done everything i feel i can, tried every therapy, tried to get my > life back on track. > > > > doctors have diagnosed it as psychosis but its a broad term. > > > > but i admit it started with psychedelic drug use, not much but a few > times, (mainly one nasty trip). (aged 16) > > > > i know drug use has no place in yoga, and quickly realised yoga was what > i > was looking for in psychedelics anyway. > > > > and 2 years ago drinking ayahuasca, which furthered problems. > > > > > > i'm only really writing this, as before i use to find yoga helpful, but > today i attended a class and even though i found some mild benefits, i > found > myself more detatched than ever, and unable to connect with anything, > rythem, breathing, sensations and no concentration. > > > > the best way i can compare it is the part of you thats wants to dance > when > you hear music, but not begin able to move with it, and it's moving further > away. > > > > > > i'm just worried im becoming completely swallowed by this, coming to a > place i might never come back from. > > > > i havn't really said much about it for at least a year or two hoping it > was just after affects of ayahuasca or that'd it'd heal itself in time. > > > > but constantly getting overwhlemed by frustration and anger. > > > > burning out and exhausted, not to mention a long list of syptoms from > severe insomnia, acute distress, migraines and dissociation. > > > > i find the frustration mainly stems from lack of perspective, i'v never > encountered a problem i've been completely disabled by capable of handeling > or understanding what to do, it's really taking its toll on all areas of my > life and my personality. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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