1) morning questions on the moutain

[Guest guest]

hi everybody

i am a solitary practiser

i live in a little house with no telephone, no television, on the top of a

mountain

i sometimes watch emails by a friend in the city

i drink yogi tea in the morning, watching the rising sun

 

i have some questions

 

i am not interested in answers theorical

in the style " yogi has said this or that or in this book is writen that... "

i am only interested in concret answers on the style " i feel this when i do

this "

 

i want to understand some points

not everything is always clear on the way and i want to climb the light

as says the proverb japanise " when you are on the top top of moutain, go on

still

climbing "

that is my maxim

 

now i start with my questions

 

where is the source of motivation

when you practise a posture, the time is 5 minutes, and you have done 3 minutes

and it is

very hard

and you start thinking

and you thing " o my god why do i must hold the posture "

and you think " o my god i could stop there "

you know, when you are alone, nobody is looking at you nor encouraging you

you think " o 3 minutes that is already good "

or you think " 1 minute more and i die "

my question is where the motivation comes from

my question is

- comes the motivation from your head - you think for example " it is good to

take the

discipline and i must suffer if i want success and i must do it "

- comes th emotivation from stomach, " hara " , that is to say you feel the force

in you, you

feel right and strong and you hold the posture

Is motivation an idea, or a force

look now

i had a friend who had the faith

he was christian since the age of 14

i found he had a lot of light in his eyes

he was, according to one of his 5 brothers, an " energy in home "

he was working very hard in the mathematics school, but always happy and smiling

he has become a great success in his studies, always smiling

i want to say this:

an idea can give force

or maybe the word " idea " is not the good one

his " Jésus " was not an idea for him, but a reality

that is the mistery of faith

so when i am in my posture i could find something like the faith

i can believe in the stars, in the energy of morning, in the words of yogi

bhajan..

i can believe something, feel good with kundalini yoga

and find strongness there

and find force to keep the posture

 

so i summarize:

 

- comes the motivation from my head, my thoughts, my morale, my want of being a

right

and strong man and my will of having success in yoga, yellow chakra and sky blue

one

- comes the motivation from something more " bakthi " , the faith, the good-feeling

of

orange chakra

 

my question is: what do you feel

one can always answer that the " motivation " comes from all the chakras but i

want to

know what you feel

 

now there can be an other source of motivation

i practise alone but some of you practise in groups

when you are 10 or 20 or 100 to execute the same kriya, the same dynamic posture

in

rythm, what do you feel

does the group give you a supplementary force

the history has proved that collective dynamycs give sometimes force, sometimes

also the

belief that you are right and that what you are doing is right and the feeling

of being

invincible

all depends on what you do with the collective dynamics, it can be " god " or

" bad " ; but the

fact is that it gives you force

 

how to call this force ?

the force of the group

 

now there is 3 possibilities for the source of motivation

- mind

- bhakti

- group

 

what do you feel; where do you find the force ? please answer concretly

 

now there is also an other possibility

 

if you sing a mantra, if you cling a tibetan bowl, if you play a neutral-chorded

guitar, so

the mind becomes like water, no more structure, just a flow, and you can find an

other

dimension of you. that would like to say, meditation would have a sens for you.

Have you

ever felt a moment of suspension, where space and time diesapper, have you ever

feeled

that or have you just imagined that you were feeling it ?

i am just asking questions, i discover theses things on my moutain you know

 

living alone is not easy if you do not have no wife, no god, no friend to

prepare tea for

you.

 

finding motivation is not easy all the time

 

if you mind is cool, without being like a samourai's one

if you do not really have a faith

if you do not have a group

where do you find the motivation to practise and be regular and hold all the

postures ?

 

now look at this:

do you have ever felt a difference between practising in the morning and

practising in the

evening

i mean, if you make a collective sadhana one day

and if you practise alone hte next day in afternoon

sure, you feel a difference

in the morning you where with the others sadhanics

in the afternoon you were alone

i mean, let's imagine one day you practise alone in the morning, like me swimmig

in the

orange sun

and the other day you practise alone also at five o'clock in the afternoon

do you feel a difference, in your body, concretely, do you feel a difference in

the

" motivation "

please do not answer theorically, saying, the door with cosmos is more opened in

the

morning

i live in the mountain, i have one goat i do not know what the door with cosmos

is

do you feel you hold easilyer the postures in morning ? in afternoon ? in

evening ?

now let's forget the other aspects of your life

in afternoon after work you are tired

in morning you did not sleep well

in evening baby is criying on the other floor

just imagine you are alone in the nature

let's just try to remember or to experience a simple practising in nature, in

morning, in

evening, in beginning of afternoon, in night before sleeping, in night after

sleeping

so what do you feel

 

other question

do you feel or have ever feeled a difference between practising in the city, in

a room, or

outside on the top of the moutain or near a river or by a sunny weather or with

the rain in

a sad monday

 

i feel a difference, in the morning i feel it is more fresh, i hold more easely

because my

mind is lighter

in the evening i feel it is more solemn, i feel the postures are more difficult,

more

suffering, but also more power to hold them

that is difficult to explain

i feel more more more easy to practise alone on the moutain with the sun, than

practising

in a little room with the electircal light

i wonder why

i would like to say there is something like " energy "

energy of the air, of nature, of the sky, of the landscape

energy of the mind looking at the beautiful world

or energy of the heart looking at the beautiful wolrd

or energy of the blood feeling the beautiful wolrd

so, energy of the beautiful world

 

so there can be several forces that help you holding the posture:

- energy of hara

- energy of bakti

- energy of group

- energy of nature

 

do you often experience theses several differeent sources ?

which one do you prefer ?

i find very important to answer to these questions

i find very important to answer according to what you feel

 

no there are some sects in the wolrd they sometimes appear in the talevision

you know, people dressed with white like us, but, believing there are in the

thuth

that they feel the cosmos

i think " cosmos " expresses a relality but difficult to perceive

i think sometimes the mind is like the white line that a plane draws in the blue

sky

you know, just pure mouvement

i think in this situation something like " cosmos " can be perceived

i think also that lots of people are believing they are perceiving the cosmos

in thies sects in particular

because they want to believe in something, and to imagine that they feel,

perceive,

something, that the other people do not perceive

i think we, i, are sometimes like that that is human

thats why i find very important to find answers very concret, to observe what we

feel and

to share it and that is why i need writing you this email from the internet

connexion of my

friend in the city near the moutain

 

now listen

have you always practised in white dressed ?

have you always practised with everybody in the group holding something red on

the

white dresses ?

wht did you then feel ?

do you feel a supplementary strongness with the color ?

or with marine blue lights in the room ?

can we feel something with the colors ?

imagine, a guy who would always dress himself in white, juste for the form. He

wouldnt

be like us he would jut search a disciplin without having lived enough before

he would never go to the cinema, never eat meat, thought he would always want to

he would try to cancel any emotion

imagine

such men exist

i know it

do you think this man would find more motivation, more light in his eyes, more

force, if

he had more emotion in his life ?

so bring emotion more force for kundalini yoga ?

what do the color do

if plus the white dress you have also a color on you, is it really an obstacle

for better

practise, or is it really a force for better practise ?

i do not suggest any answer, it can not be so easy

but i would like to know, if you have already experienced this, what did you

feel ?

 

so the possible sources of motivation:

- faith - bakti (is there a difference or not)

- stronght of mind, spirit of discipline

- energy of nature, of the moment, of the light, of concrete things

- group

- emotions (but maybe it is also a embarrassment what can you say according to

your

experience ?)-

 

is the disciplin of the group also a problem ?

i mean can the group be an entrave ot your accomplishment ?

you know, sometimes the group gives you energy

some times also the group is a facility; it can be easy to born again into a

predefinite

form, and to sacrify your creativity - that leads you to the unknown wave of

your destiny -

to a group préformed creativity - that leads you to something also unknown but

in the

sphere of the group

 

so not only emotion can be a problem, but also group

 

you know friends have given me a book with kriyas and i experience them

sometimes i feel something in the vertebral column, that makes 'hop'

you know, did you already hear a flamenco concert, and some one saying " ole "

if yes then you can understand what i feel

what is it

 

in aikido we made a lot of exercices moving, dancing.. why always sitting in

yoga ?

 

in aikido i remenber the teacher was saying " some languages are perfect, they

vibrte like

the sense they mean " ; he was saying " japanese is so, aikido and kototama are a

linig

perfection " : did you in kundalini yoga ever have the idea or the sensation that

you have

found something perfect ? is it a source of motiavation ?

 

an other source of motivation:

imagine i want to change my life, i have found kundalini yoga

i destroy what i have lived before

that happens sometimes

enthousiasm

being a new man

is " rajas " alors a possible source of motivation ?

yes we can think so

what do you feel ?

but if yes, then " tamas " also can be a source of motivation

you know, feeling good with the friends that practise with you

chanting with them in the morning

drinking yogi tea toghetehr..

 

the question can be now:

does the result of you disciplin depends on where you find the source of

motivation ?

 

lots of questions..

[Guest guest]

Dear One...your email post to the Kundalini Yoga email list was one of

the most beautiful, insightful emails I've read for a very long time.

Within your questions lie powerful, powerful questions for all of us

to be asking. So, I say thank you for your post and thank you for

asking such fabulous questions. I pray you receive helpful replies.

 

I am new to the KY path, but have been aligned to practice in the

forest for many years. I can tell you from my experience in nature,

that the energy of the forest is profound. I " woke up " to the power

inherent in the " forest people " ...the souls of the trees, plants,

animals with one experience I can tell you about...I can tell you what

I felt out there.

 

Years ago, I was apprenticing with a Celtic shaman, who sent me to the

woods with an assignment to meet a nature spirit, ask it it's name,

and have a dialogue if I could. I was very skeptical, not having ever

done anything like that before...but I went anyway.

 

I spent hours sitting, meditating, waiting to be approached by

something...some " nature spirit " ...but nothing happened. As I walked

back toward home, I stopped at my favorite cedar tree...the largest in

my forest...and just looked up at her...it was misty outside and I

noticed how she just stood there day after day with her " arms " wide

open to Infinity and to everything that came day after day...wind,

snow, rain, sleet...difficult times and warm sunny times. I noted that

this is what I too must learn to do...keep my arms and my heart and

mind open to every experience I face day after day, just like the

cedar tree...all of life...sunny and wintry alike.

 

So I stood there and opened my arms wide to the sky...and I chanted

over and over again, " Bring it on, bring it on, bring it on... " asking

for the fire of transformation so that I might become a worthy servant

of Love to humanity and our planet.

 

After what must have been five minutes of chanting, I felt a surge of

electricity run through my spine from feet to head and back down

again, and along with it, the urge to move toward the tree. I walked

to her slowly and embraced her and just stood there with my arms

wrapped around her. A part of me felt silly...but I did it

anyway...following the " urge. " I started to giggle and asked in jest

out loud, " Are you my nature spirit? "

 

From deep within the earth, an energy flowed up and through my body,

into hers, and back through me again...it was a flowing electrical

feeling...the color light blue...flowing round and round, back and

forth, like a dance. Then, I " heard " communication from my beloved

tree...an acknowledgment of sorts. Nervously I asked the tree if it

had a name (my assignment from the shaman).

 

I " heard " the laughter of a thousand voices, and then again felt that

energy flowing through me and with it came the same thousand voices

all saying a different name all at the same time, with the

laughter...beautiful, melodious, loving laughter...like a mother would

laugh at a child's innocence. It was the most beautiful, blissful

moment I've had, next to the experience of childbirth.

 

I was supposed to ask how to contact my " nature spirit " in the future,

so I did and felt silly with that question. She " said " to me... " you

must go back...and teach them...give them the gift of time...our

time...no time. " I did not understand the message then, but I think I

am beginning to now. " Them " is humanity...the gift of " our time " is

the gift I am learning through my sadhana practice.

 

Then it felt as though she turned me around so my back was to her,

pressed up against her strength and bark. She " showed me " myself...on

the trail walking past her...hurriedly going to my assignment...lost

in thought...lost in time...lost in my busy mind. I could see how busy

my mind was as I walked by her. She reminded me to slow down...slow

way down...stop and say hello to her on my way by.

 

She showed me her friend...her long time friend...another cedar who

had stood by her for many, many years...witnessing the logging that

had happened on our mountain...and before that...standing over the

indigenous peoples who lived and fished here. She showed me how, years

ago, her friend gave up his " tree " existence to lay down in front of

her and become fertilizer for her roots, nursing her children (seeds)

to life. I sobbed. Then, she told me it was time go.

 

Reluctantly, I broke away from her and turned to walk home...tears

streaming down my cheeks at the incredible, unexpected experience I

had just had. I felt as though something had opened for me...a gift of

understanding...of the energies in nature...the gifts we are given,

unknown to us...while we sit with the tree people, the plant people,

the forest people, etc...an energetic, spiritual, medicinal gift...a

silent gift, flowing into and through us. I felt like I had been

blind, and all of a sudden, was sighted.

 

When I reached home, I turned slowly to bid farewell to the forest for

that day...very reluctant to go into the house. I just stood there,

and from nowhere came this sound...I'll never forget it...this

rhythmic, syncopated percussive sound...a thousand tiny hands

clapping...a thousand fairy drums beating all at different times...I'd

never heard anything like that before. I shuffled my feet to check my

sanity...to hear something else to see if I was just making up that

other sound. But no...it was still there...going on and on. I did not

know what it was. And then...the voices were there again...the voices

of the trees...and they laughed and laughed and told me this was a

standing ovation...for me...for showing up for my lesson that day in

the woods!

 

Again, tears just streamed down my face as I stood there in total and

utter disbelief. My body was overwhelmed with warmth flowing through

it...pure Love. The bliss of that experience lasted for many hours,

and the memory, and my connection to my beloved cedar tree is just as

vivid today as if it happened this morning.

 

This is my motivation when there is still 3 or 11 minutes left in my

kriya and my thoughts get loud: that there is more going on than I

understand right now...that there are energies and gifts and

" spirits/angels " helping me, assisting me in ways I cannot fathom at

this time...so I just keep going, knowing those invisible forces are

there working with me. It is bigger than me...I must keep going for

reasons beyond my comfort...somehow, I really do effect the world.

 

I believe I was given a real gift of grace that day...a tiny peek into

the realm of the unknown for me...so that I might hold that memory

like a candle in the darkness of my own ignorance and

non-understanding...in moments when it would appear easier to just

give up...to not get up. I remember in tough moments that this isn't

all about me...my practice is much bigger than me...life isn't about

me at all...it's about what I bring to the whole...the whole planet of

family that I am a part of...the whole of the universe...the Whole

that is Infinity.

 

This is what keeps me going...by my small contribution...by those last

3 minutes of practice when I want to quit...somehow, by not giving up

at those difficult times...by pushing through that...I am acting on

that power of grace and silently, invisibly affecting all my brothers

and sisters on this planet....just like my friends the trees do with

me, when I walk busily through the forest.

 

Sat Nam,

Laurie in Seattle