maintaining one's equilibrium when confronted by disagreeable people

[Guest guest]

Find one thing, that is all you need to start with, one thing to like

about that disagreeable/unliked person.

 

If you can make a list of things you like all the better.

 

When confronted with that which you do not like, think the thought of

what you do like. If another speaks to you negatively of this

person, again think the thought of what you do like about the person.

 

As you think of what you do like and dismiss that which you do not,

in time, that person will either show you more of what you do like,

or you may find people who spoke of them no longer speak of them, or

you may find that disagreeable person entering into your life less

and less. They may even leave it totally. Or, you may even see a

difference in how that person interacts with you.

 

All it takes, ALL IT TAKES, is to, when experiencing that feeling in

your gut, you know the one I mean, tune in to the thought, the

thought of that which you like.

 

One person I met, I liked the fact she experimented with her hair.

That was the one thought. One person, I liked that she dressed

herself up with necklaces. Another I liked that she volunteered her

time to make a difference in the world.(This was a woman I formally

had a screaming match with in a public restaurant, one year later, we

sat at the same table at a tea and actually interacted socially and I

enjoyed her company, as she showed to me a different side of

herself!!!!)

 

Find a thought, just one thought to start with, use it like you might

a mantra.

 

Someone starts to talk to you " Did you hear what so and so did? bla

bla bla bla bla. . . " Your thought: " I like the colour of so and

so's eyes "

 

You transform your life not with the thought, but how you use that

thought.

 

I would also suggest you try this on people you do like. My husband

said after 16 years of being a couple, 'I feel closer to you than I

ever have'. The only thing that changed, the only thing that

changed, was when I had a thought of that which I did not like about

what he thought or something he did (like leaving whisker clipping

all over the bathroom sink), I replaced it with a thought about what

I did like about him.

 

The change will not happen overnight. But it will happen, and you

will be going 'wow' just as I still do.

 

WOW.

 

(Oh by the way, be careful, when you start to think about what you do

like about someone, they may just end up becoming your 'friend'!!-the

lady with the necklaces, although we have different opinions, we no

longer argue heatedly, we simply seem to accept each other as we

are! I still get that feeling in the pit of my stomach when I hear

her name, but it is slowly becoming quieter and quieter, and one day,

I suspect, that unpleasant feeling I get at the sound of her name,

will simply be gone)

 

 

 

 

 

Kundalini-Yoga , " ramneetkaurflorida "

<nrross wrote:

>

> Yes, YB said something like, " Remember the other person is you " , but

> does anyone have a practical suggestion for dealing with someone

with

> an extraordinarily negative attitude, projections, and delusions?

You

> can't choose your relatives- is there a protective mantra that

anyone

> in the group has had success with?

>

[Guest guest]

You haven't said or if you have, I didn't read it in your message-

But, is this person living with you?

I just think life is way too short to have to find a way to get along

with a person who is at conflict with you.

 

I mean if it is your child or spouse or live-in parent then perhaps

you can work something out.

Yes, people do say that what we dislike in another is merely a mirror

of ourselves....But, sometimes that is plain garbage- I worked in

special services and had to come into contact with a woman who stood

by and 'allowed' her husband to abuse physically, their adopted

child. The child died. I just had to be removed from the case- I

hated HER more on sight than the husband and she got off because of

the Stockholm Syndrome defense. I just couldn't stand it to see her

and read the case notes and not want to clatter her- I became violent

in my feelings around her.

I don't think I am a child abuser/killer nor would I stand by and

watch it happen-I hope... even if I were abused by my darling

husband. And the grandmother who had witnessed the child being abused

actually blamed us- blamed social services for not picking up on the

abuse- " Where were we? " She asked.

 

 

So sometimes there is evil and people whom, no matter how much good

you project about yourself or towards them they will absorb your

light...sorry I don't mean to get too new agey or psycho babblish but

you know what I mean....I hope.

 

I would not waste any time about them. If they come in a front door

go out the back door- get them out of your life....Now.

Don't waste your good energy thinking up ways to meet them halfway.

You are obviously a good and kind person. These peope may not even

have a concept of what you are like and not interested.

 

Get rid of them out of your life......why should you be using mantras

and god knows what sending good energy to them - don't allow this to

be YOUR problem for a second longer. Drop it......

I wish you well and I wish them gone from your life....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kundalini-Yoga , " bctoadlover "

<bctoadlover wrote:

>

> Find one thing, that is all you need to start with, one thing to

like

> about that disagreeable/unliked person.

>

> If you can make a list of things you like all the better.

>

> When confronted with that which you do not like, think the thought

of

> what you do like. If another speaks to you negatively of this

> person, again think the thought of what you do like about the

person.

>

> As you think of what you do like and dismiss that which you do not,

> in time, that person will either show you more of what you do like,

> or you may find people who spoke of them no longer speak of them,

or

> you may find that disagreeable person entering into your life less

> and less. They may even leave it totally. Or, you may even see a

> difference in how that person interacts with you.

>

> All it takes, ALL IT TAKES, is to, when experiencing that feeling

in

> your gut, you know the one I mean, tune in to the thought, the

> thought of that which you like.

>

> One person I met, I liked the fact she experimented with her hair.

> That was the one thought. One person, I liked that she dressed

> herself up with necklaces. Another I liked that she volunteered

her

> time to make a difference in the world.(This was a woman I formally

> had a screaming match with in a public restaurant, one year later,

we

> sat at the same table at a tea and actually interacted socially and

I

> enjoyed her company, as she showed to me a different side of

> herself!!!!)

>

> Find a thought, just one thought to start with, use it like you

might

> a mantra.

>

> Someone starts to talk to you " Did you hear what so and so did? bla

> bla bla bla bla. . . " Your thought: " I like the colour of so and

> so's eyes "

>

> You transform your life not with the thought, but how you use that

> thought.

>

> I would also suggest you try this on people you do like. My

husband

> said after 16 years of being a couple, 'I feel closer to you than I

> ever have'. The only thing that changed, the only thing that

> changed, was when I had a thought of that which I did not like

about

> what he thought or something he did (like leaving whisker clipping

> all over the bathroom sink), I replaced it with a thought about

what

> I did like about him.

>

> The change will not happen overnight. But it will happen, and you

> will be going 'wow' just as I still do.

>

> WOW.

>

> (Oh by the way, be careful, when you start to think about what you

do

> like about someone, they may just end up becoming your 'friend'!!-

the

> lady with the necklaces, although we have different opinions, we no

> longer argue heatedly, we simply seem to accept each other as we

> are! I still get that feeling in the pit of my stomach when I hear

> her name, but it is slowly becoming quieter and quieter, and one

day,

> I suspect, that unpleasant feeling I get at the sound of her name,

> will simply be gone)

>

>

>

>

>

> Kundalini-Yoga , " ramneetkaurflorida "

> <nrross@> wrote:

> >

> > Yes, YB said something like, " Remember the other person is you " ,

but

> > does anyone have a practical suggestion for dealing with someone

> with

> > an extraordinarily negative attitude, projections, and delusions?

> You

> > can't choose your relatives- is there a protective mantra that

> anyone

> > in the group has had success with?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam,

 

Your question of " maintaining one's equilibrium when confronted by

disagreeable people " is very good since you are not trying to 'change

them'.

 

I have had a similar situation for over 20 years. The methods of

Kundalini Yoga have improved my state of mind and ability to handle

such people whether they are family, friends, co-workers or strangers,

it is how we deal with ourselves that is important.

 

What I would suggest is to go to 3ho and do your

Tantric Numerology: http://www.3ho.org/numerology.html

 

The mantra I got from doing this has led to an inner core of spiritual

strength that nothing can penetrate. I have also been doing other

mantras that have also worked and add to this core strength.

 

I suggest that you get the book: " The Mind, Its Projections and

Multiple Facets by Yogi Bhajan " which has a lot of mantras. In the

meantime, you could go to this site, and look through all the mantras

that are listed and pick those that you feel would help you the most:

 

http://kynotes.wetpaint.com/page/Kundalini+Yoga+Mantras

 

You could also take a look at the following mantras and see if one or

more of them appeal to you to do.

 

Kirtan Kriya-

Whatever you need at the moment, it will readjust and align you to

bring balance into your mind and thus your life. (I have been doing

this one before I go to sleep and the entire day balances out and I

get the best sleep. I also used this one 3 times in one day (11 min

each) when something VERY upsetting 'fell on me' and it balanced it

all out and I was able to let go of it)

 

Making the Impossible Possible

SA RE SA SA (ANTAR NAAD MANTRA)

SODARSHAN CHAKRA KRIYA (SO DARSHAN)

TRIPLE MANTRA

WAHE GURU - LONG (GURU MANTRA)

 

Blessings and Light to you,

 

Sat Avtar Kaur