Forgiveness

[Guest guest]

Emotional blockages are a main cause of pain

and instability within the Kundalini awakening process. Issues of grief, guilt,

loss, abandonment and fear can and do manifest within the context of the

Kundalini as pain. It is also an attachment for energies that feed off of these

conditions.

 

Resolving these difficulties after many years or a lifetime of experience is

often difficult and seemingly impossible. First you need to develop the intent

and then to follow that intention with action. However many years and, in many

cases, lifetimes that a person has been wracked with pain and anguish there is

and has been a way towards resolution. Its called forgiveness.

 

Not always towards a perceived assailant or of another person but also for

ones own self. Forgiveness is a divine aspect of love.

 

Realizing that we are all here on this physical plane to learn and to come

into direct contact with others who have qualities different from our own,

forgiveness gives us a platform for tolerance, another divine aspect of love. In

the context of the Kundalyn energies, this is a tantamount practice that

must be done daily and with the most sincere and heartfelt

expression. It lays the foundation for most if not all of the

special powers and skills that come with an awakening.

 

 

Recapitulate all peoples who have done harm to

you and all people whom you have harmed. Think back upon your life experiences

and for the moment pick out the highlights of hurts that have been inflicted

upon you and by you. Now consciously forgive them and you.

 

There may still be karmic repercussions but this will

go a long way towards ameliorating them so practice this daily and new

remembrances will come to mind getting in line for the forgiveness. This

requires an honest acknowledgment of activity from both the receiving and of the

inflicting aspects of our experiences with others. Honesty towards ones self is

another ingredient that must be attained in order for this to work.

 

Regardless of where the blame is, forgiveness must be reached for and given. Not

a small task to be sure but an essential one. As the forgiveness encounters the

heavy vibrational construct of the emotional blockage Divine love is seeped into

the matrix causing, in many instances an emotional outburst of relief and

release of burden. The blockage is relieved and the Kundalini continues its

invigoration throughout the body.

 

For optimal results this must be done daily and constantly throughout your

conscious periods. For example, someone cuts you off on the freeway forgive them

as quickly as you condemn them. Do this immediately and it will begin to smooth

your condemnations to the point where you will be happy to let them in and wish

them well upon their way. Take this in stages and don't force too much upon

yourself all at once but keep the intent strong and healthy in your heart and

mind. This will have an almost immediate effect in your life passage as well as

being an energetic snowplow for the Kundalini. As in most things practice makes

it become second nature, so practice. This concept applies to all of

your human interactions.

 

Love and forgiveness are the rule.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I'm really happy at the moment, forgiveness is such a

powerful thing,

the more I forgive the lighter and more ecstatic I

feel.

It makes me want to cry out of happiness.

I've been having some miraculous experiences.

 

Not only in my meditation world is the forgiveness

occuring but in real time also.

People I never thought could be brought back into my

life as friends or loved ones have been brought

back.... It gets better and better.

I'm over the moon.

 

A girl I knew years ago, about 10 years ago, started

to appear in my dreams, she " wronged " me in her plight

to be a more famous dj then myself, competing with me,

and then she got a bad back just as her fame was

beginning and spent years flat on her back unable to

walk.

I heard about this recently and found her on

myspace.com (a website for artists in music).

I felt that we had a karmic link and that her back was

linked to our relationship in some way and so i wrote

to her and offered healing.

 

She wrote me back and apologised for the way she had

treated me all those years ago, and said she had

changed alot and that she'd love some healing vibes.

And thanked me very much.

I nearly cried when I read her letter.

 

Miracles do happen We had been enemies now we are

friends 10 years later.

Thank you forgiveness

I'm soooo happy.

love Elektra x x x

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/12/2006 6:30:10 AM GMT Standard Time,

elektra.fire writes:

 

She wrote me back and apologised for the way she had

treated me all those years ago, and said she had

changed alot and that she'd love some healing vibes.

 

 

 

<<<<<

 

 

Thanks for the wonderful story, Elektra! One thing that has amazed me

is how we all change/evolve as we move through this life. Sometimes it can

be painful, but enlightening, this " switching of roles. " Or that is what I

call it. I have noticed it to be a common theme in this world.

 

Deb

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Deb,

I think it's so important to try and take people how

they are now and not always judge on past experiences,

we can hold people in a lower vibration by relating

our beliefs about them on past events.

If we do this we don't allow people the space to

change and grow.

I remember how annoying it was for me when my Dad

would bring up things from my past childhood activites

and use them against me in the present moment, as if I

was the same at 20 as I was when I was 14.

Family members are particularly good at doing this to

one another.

Let the vibrations be free........

love to you Debs, Elektra x x x

 

 

--- Deb111222 wrote:

 

>

> In a message dated 8/12/2006 6:30:10 AM GMT Standard

> Time,

> elektra.fire writes:

>

> She wrote me back and apologised for the way she

> had

> treated me all those years ago, and said she had

> changed alot and that she'd love some healing

> vibes.

>

>

>

> <<<<<

>

>

> Thanks for the wonderful story, Elektra! One

> thing that has amazed me

> is how we all change/evolve as we move through this

> life. Sometimes it can

> be painful, but enlightening, this " switching of

> roles. " Or that is what I

> call it. I have noticed it to be a common theme in

> this world.

>

> Deb

>

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/13/2006 3:47:55 PM GMT Standard Time,

elektra.fire writes:

 

I think it's so important to try and take people how

they are now and not always judge on past experiences,

we can hold people in a lower vibration by relating

our beliefs about them on past events.

If we do this we don't allow people the space to

change and grow.

 

 

 

<<<<<<<<

 

 

Hey Elektra - I guess in some situations when we have been burned in

the past by certain people, exercising caution may not be such a bad idea.

Kind of like, " Don't touch that hot stove again. " But it is also possible that

we misunderstood or that this person really has changed deep down inside. I

think that it is safe to say that most people learn from their mistakes,

mature and really do change. But some people take longer than others and some

people have more severe lessons than others.

 

So, I guess what I am trying to say is that a lot of it depends on how

much time has gone by and what has occurred. And it is always good to give

someone the benefit of the doubt and a second chance. But at the same time,

looking out for your own best interest is okay, too. Or so it seems to me

tonight! Some other night, I might have a more enlightened answer! Tonight, I

feel less enlightened and more " blank! " No particular reason. Just getting

tired, I guess.

 

Deb

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

You are right Debs,

But, we can still hold a perfect image of people in

our hearts and minds even if their actions don't match

up in the present moment

It's like some of my family are bitchy (to say the

least) and for years I didn't speak to them.

I have started to see them again, they haven't changed

but the way I perceive them has and so my theory is

eventually as I hold this higher image of them, they

will lighten up.

But as you say, some people take a while.

Patience is a virtue, but even if someone didn't

change in the past doesn't mean they can never change.

 

Much love Debs, Elektra x x x

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Sometimes they shouldnt change. They are learning, hard lessons to be sure but

lessons none the less important. Elektra, holding thier image in a light of love

is good. But try not to force a change in them through expectation. Just allow

them to be as they are and if they feel your attentions they can choose to

change - if its the right thing for them. - just my take on it. - chrism

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I would never dream of trying to force change on

people, in my mind everyone is perfect the way they

are, but at the same time I'm aware of the fact that

when I see people as perfect they seem to alter

behaviour and become more inline with their divine

self.

And when I speak of patience, I just speak of being

patient when people act a certain way , that may try

to hurt, don't take it personally.

Just see it as a reflection in an endless mirror and

enjoy the ripples.

I think you may have misunderstood my point.

As I have no desire to change anyone, ever, at all,

period.

Only myself

love Elektra x x x

 

 

--- chrism <> wrote:

 

> Sometimes they shouldnt change. They are learning,

> hard lessons to be sure but lessons none the less

> important. Elektra, holding thier image in a light

> of love is good. But try not to force a change in

> them through expectation. Just allow them to be as

> they are and if they feel your attentions they can

> choose to change - if its the right thing for them.

> - just my take on it. - chrism

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

No Elektra I know this about you. It is just something to consider thats all, as

much for others as for yourself. No worries -

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Thanks Chrism, I thought you knew me better then that

Perhaps I didn't make myself clear enough when I wrote

and you were filling in the blanks right...

You are right of course.

love Elektra x x x

 

 

 

> No Elektra I know this about you. It is just

> something to consider thats all, as much for others

> as for yourself. No worries -

>

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

It is that " Choice " is so very important and yes I am aware you know this. It is

good to keep this in the forefront of our intentions when working with others.

Your words allow me to address for " all " sometimes so please know that I am not

only responding to you. Have you tried Tsampa yet? - blessings Elektra - chrism

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

What is Tsampa?

 

And I'm still working on the ego, so , yes, I think

you are adressing ME!!!

Sorry about that, I'm still disolving the " me " .

hee hee hee.

Still just a big ego in a little body....

love Elektra x x x

 

 

--- chrism <> wrote:

 

> It is that " Choice " is so very important and yes I

> am aware you know this. It is good to keep this in

> the forefront of our intentions when working with

> others. Your words allow me to address for " all "

> sometimes so please know that I am not only

> responding to you. Have you tried Tsampa yet? -

> blessings Elektra - chrism

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hello Elektra,

Tibetan monk food. - c

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

>>>> Elektra:

But, we can still hold a perfect image of people in

our hearts and minds even if their actions don't match

up in the present moment

It's like some of my family are bitchy (to say the

least) and for years I didn't speak to them.

I have started to see them again, they haven't changed

but the way I perceive them has and so my theory is

eventually as I hold this higher image of them, they

will lighten up.

But as you say, some people take a while.

Patience is a virtue, but even if someone didn't

change in the past doesn't mean they can never change. <<<<

 

 

Hey Elektra - I started to get back to you a couple of times on

this, but realized that when thinking of this (holding the perfect

image of someone) vs. (they have their own lessons or purpose) was too

perplexing for me to come up with an intelligent answer. Actually,

this is a question that I have been pondering for a very, very long

time! I had trouble figuring out what I believed about it, much less

how to put that in words.

 

Still don't have it figured out! I do agree that holding the

perfect image of someone changes our perception of them and often

changes our experience of them. At the same time - it seems like this

is not always the case. That sometimes we get blind-sided by

someone's negative behavior that we had no idea was coming.

 

Personally, I think of us all as co-creators, rather than sole

creaters because, well honestly, it is the only concept that my little

human mind can grasp. Or put it this way, I have not had a good

success rate at changing someone's behavior to my liking by imagining

that it be so. It could be that I'm just really lousy at it.

 

But I still keep going back to that belief that we are co-

creators, and that many of our creations we chose before we came to

Earth for the purpose of experiencing and learning. Like it is a

grand scheme of some sort. But as I said before, I think of this

grand scheme as a " video game " we are born with or the " hand we were

dealt, " and this ability to consciously choose or manipulate what

happens as " the way we play the game. "

 

So, I think that holding someone in a higher image or forgiving

someone is probably the best way to play the game and get the best

results. Yet, I still think there are underlying reasons for the

characters, challenges and obstacles that come our way.

 

Somehow I think it is a paradox - that we are all correct.

 

Deb

[Guest guest]

Forgiveness isn't about the other person. It is something you do for yourself

because you don't want to carry around any more pain than you have to. When

someone has harmed you that is bad enough, but carrying it around is also

painful and a cause of harm. You don't have to forget what happened and you

don't have to let the person do it again. This isn't about letting the person

get away with anything.

 

Tom

 

 

Deb111222

 

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 11:07 PM

Re: forgiveness

 

 

 

>>>> Elektra:

But, we can still hold a perfect image of people in

our hearts and minds even if their actions don't match

up in the present moment

It's like some of my family are bitchy (to say the

least) and for years I didn't speak to them.

I have started to see them again, they haven't changed

but the way I perceive them has and so my theory is

eventually as I hold this higher image of them, they

will lighten up.

But as you say, some people take a while.

Patience is a virtue, but even if someone didn't

change in the past doesn't mean they can never change. <<<<

 

Hey Elektra - I started to get back to you a couple of times on

this, but realized that when thinking of this (holding the perfect

image of someone) vs. (they have their own lessons or purpose) was too

perplexing for me to come up with an intelligent answer. Actually,

this is a question that I have been pondering for a very, very long

time! I had trouble figuring out what I believed about it, much less

how to put that in words.

 

Still don't have it figured out! I do agree that holding the

perfect image of someone changes our perception of them and often

changes our experience of them. At the same time - it seems like this

is not always the case. That sometimes we get blind-sided by

someone's negative behavior that we had no idea was coming.

 

Personally, I think of us all as co-creators, rather than sole

creaters because, well honestly, it is the only concept that my little

human mind can grasp. Or put it this way, I have not had a good

success rate at changing someone's behavior to my liking by imagining

that it be so. It could be that I'm just really lousy at it.

 

But I still keep going back to that belief that we are co-

creators, and that many of our creations we chose before we came to

Earth for the purpose of experiencing and learning. Like it is a

grand scheme of some sort. But as I said before, I think of this

grand scheme as a " video game " we are born with or the " hand we were

dealt, " and this ability to consciously choose or manipulate what

happens as " the way we play the game. "

 

So, I think that holding someone in a higher image or forgiving

someone is probably the best way to play the game and get the best

results. Yet, I still think there are underlying reasons for the

characters, challenges and obstacles that come our way.

 

Somehow I think it is a paradox - that we are all correct.

 

Deb

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Hi Debs,

 

Thanks for taking the time to express your thoughts

with me

 

And as you say, we are meant to experience all kinds

of things in our video game of life.

And to hold a vision of someone is not to change them,

it merely changes the way you are affected by the

goings on day to day.

It is never my intent to change but just to support.

To observe from a place of non judgement and non

emotional reaction. (not that I've mastered this

either).

And just see everything as God interacting with God

expressing itself endlessly in many facets. Each one

dazzling in its beauty.

Then when my landlady comes over to put the rent up or

kick me out, I can say " thankyou God " , thankyou for

this " blesson " , and genuinely feel happy.

 

Much love to you Debs,

 

Elektra x x x

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

But why not forgive the other person toooooo then you are truly free,its just a

little bit more work,and it free's you too.

Then we can all smile,and feel free.

R..................................

-

TomSKinney

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 10:41 PM

Re: Re: forgiveness

 

 

Forgiveness isn't about the other person. It is something you do for yourself

because you don't want to carry around any more pain than you have to. When

someone has harmed you that is bad enough, but carrying it around is also

painful and a cause of harm. You don't have to forget what happened and you

don't have to let the person do it again. This isn't about letting the person

get away with anything.

 

Tom

 

Deb111222

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 11:07 PM

Re: forgiveness

 

>>>> Elektra:

But, we can still hold a perfect image of people in

our hearts and minds even if their actions don't match

up in the present moment

It's like some of my family are bitchy (to say the

least) and for years I didn't speak to them.

I have started to see them again, they haven't changed

but the way I perceive them has and so my theory is

eventually as I hold this higher image of them, they

will lighten up.

But as you say, some people take a while.

Patience is a virtue, but even if someone didn't

change in the past doesn't mean they can never change. <<<<

 

Hey Elektra - I started to get back to you a couple of times on

this, but realized that when thinking of this (holding the perfect

image of someone) vs. (they have their own lessons or purpose) was too

perplexing for me to come up with an intelligent answer. Actually,

this is a question that I have been pondering for a very, very long

time! I had trouble figuring out what I believed about it, much less

how to put that in words.

 

Still don't have it figured out! I do agree that holding the

perfect image of someone changes our perception of them and often

changes our experience of them. At the same time - it seems like this

is not always the case. That sometimes we get blind-sided by

someone's negative behavior that we had no idea was coming.

 

Personally, I think of us all as co-creators, rather than sole

creaters because, well honestly, it is the only concept that my little

human mind can grasp. Or put it this way, I have not had a good

success rate at changing someone's behavior to my liking by imagining

that it be so. It could be that I'm just really lousy at it.

 

But I still keep going back to that belief that we are co-

creators, and that many of our creations we chose before we came to

Earth for the purpose of experiencing and learning. Like it is a

grand scheme of some sort. But as I said before, I think of this

grand scheme as a " video game " we are born with or the " hand we were

dealt, " and this ability to consciously choose or manipulate what

happens as " the way we play the game. "

 

So, I think that holding someone in a higher image or forgiving

someone is probably the best way to play the game and get the best

results. Yet, I still think there are underlying reasons for the

characters, challenges and obstacles that come our way.

 

Somehow I think it is a paradox - that we are all correct.

 

Deb

 

________

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All on demand. Always Free.

 

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/17/2006 4:56:43 AM GMT Standard Time,

elektra.fire writes:

 

And as you say, we are meant to experience all kinds

of things in our video game of life.

And to hold a vision of someone is not to change them,

it merely changes the way you are affected by the

goings on day to day.

It is never my intent to change but just to support.

 

 

 

<<<<<<<<

 

 

Hey Elektra and Tom - after living with some very difficult people in

the past (but thankfully, not anymore) - this influences where I am coming

from. I find that it is easy to forgive someone who is no longer causing harm.

It is the " day-in-and-day-out " people whose behavior seems to contain a

" pattern " of back-and-forth of " I'm sorry, I'll never do it again " to " I swear,

I

really mean it this time, " etc., etc. that I am talking about. (Who are

usually the same people who are big believers in " This is private and personal

and you are not to discuss it with anyone " or " This is normal - everybody

fights. " ) Not so much as changing them, because they usually have another,

wonderful side that is very much loved, but more as eliminating the hurtful

behavior. Making it stop. That is what I meant by attempting to " change " them

through visualization.

 

Although, as most of us know, life does not appear to be that " simple. "

In such a case, the only solution seems to be removing one's self from the

situation, as painful as it may be because this also means removing one's

self from other aspects of the relationship that may be quite rewarding, and

putting one's self through some difficult (if not seemingly impossible)

adjustments. So, yes, forgiveness is something that you do for yourself. But

first,

you have to make the decision to stop being the " puppy who keeps licking the

foot that kicks it. " First, you have to have the strength (and it does take

tremendous strength) to love (and remove) yourself. Then, forgiveness is a

" piece of cake. "

 

(Much love to you, too, Elektra!)

 

Deb

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

>>>> Deb:

So, yes, forgiveness is something that you do for yourself. But

first, you have to make the decision to stop being the " puppy who

keeps licking the foot that kicks it. " First, you have to have the

strength (and it does take tremendous strength) to love (and remove)

yourself. Then, forgiveness is a " piece of cake. " <<<<<

 

 

Elektra - I just wanted to say that this was not directed

towards you or anyone in particular. It was meant to be a general

statement based on my own experiences of what I had to do before real

forgiveness seemed possible. I had to get myself out of some

chronic " forgiveness " cycles that kept repeating themselves because

there was frequently something new to forgive on a repeated basis. I

had to " get out " before I could forgive once and for all. I had to

remove myself from situations that made " the need to forgive " a

chronic theme. And move into an environment where that type of

behavior (that needed forgiveness) was no longer directed at me.

 

I hope this makes sense. I was just pondering what I had

learned from it, and how much better my life is because of making

these difficult, but necessary changes. Just do not want to be

misunderstood.

 

Deb

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/19/2006 11:24:42 AM GMT Standard Time, elektra.fire writes:

You have to take care of yourself always and make sureyou have enough inner energy to feel like forgiving,right.

 

<<<<<<<

 

 

Right! (big smile)

 

Deb

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Deb,

 

no misunderstanding occured you little lovely )

 

I completely understand what you are saying and agree

that forgiveness does not mean being someones doormat,

or puppy!!!

 

You have to take care of yourself always and make sure

you have enough inner energy to feel like forgiving,

right.

 

love and light Elektra x x x

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Thanks alot for that meditation, I really like it,

simple but affective.

x x x Elektra

 

 

--- novalees <Novalees wrote:

 

> I found this exercise to be a beautiful way to go

> through the healing

> and felt led to pass it on. I really found it

> helpful because it gives

> me a chance to speak to the one who comes before me.

> Hope someone finds

> it useful. Love, dhyana

>

> Sit in a quiet, comfortable place. Close your eyes

> and imagine that

> there is a circle of light around you. Ask yourself,

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

A simple but powerful meditation...thanks. Reminds me of Ho'oponopono.

 

:)Troy

 

 

 

> Invite this person into your circle of light. Visualize looking into

> his or her eyes and complete one or both of the following sentences:

>

> What I learned from you is...

> You taught me...

>

> When you're finished, thank that person. Then say:

>

> I forgive you.

> I release you.

> Go in peace.

>

> Say goodbye. And with love, watch him or her leave your circle and

> disappear.

>

[Guest guest]

John,

 

This is so beautiful and well-stated! It makes a lot of since! I certainly

appreciate you taking the time to write this. Thanks for sharing with us your

thoughts on self-forgiveness and the forgiveness of others.

 

Love,

Katherine

 

<...> wrote:

refers many times to 'safeties', one of which is to get the

emotional neutrality and maturity that can only be gained by forgiving others

and ourselves for mistakes made.

 

SELF-FORGIVENESS

 

I've often asked myself, when is self-forgiveness finished? How many re-runs

must there be of one's life's personal blunders before closure?

 

Are our mistakes best forgiven and corrected through dreams, self-talk,

gleaning wisdom from others, praying, blank meditation, screaming, crying,

laughing, dancing, creating, grounding, alternative healing?

 

Many members in this Group have talked wisely and on the back of first-hand

experience about these therapies. Not so much has been said about self-talk.

Counsellors call it cognitive therapy which is said by Wikipedia to be:

" gaining insight into our unconscious emotions and drives to identify and change

" distorted " or " unrealistic " ways of thinking, and therefore to influence future

emotion and behaviour " .

 

First, my own experience is that guilt comes in quite a few different types of

self-accusation, each needing its own healing approach. Applying a few bandaids

and dropping the worry into subconscious invisibility gets most of us through.

In some self-accusations shown below, I've guessed at what those bandaids are

and then I've looked deeper to try and take myself into real self-forgiveness.

Here are the scenarios:

 

" I'm blaming myself because I just stood there and did nothing !! "

 

Examples - I didn't rescue/didn't fight/didn't talk/didn't give - when I was

called........

 

Bandaids: I won't run that risk again, wasn't trained, wasn't my place to

interfere, couldn't afford to do it - reason(s) enough for me to move on with

my life......

 

Repeated instances of this haunts and destroys long-term. Any small start in

SKILLING-UP has started my forgiveness process.

 

 

 

" I had to fall into line to keep up appearances "

 

Example - I agreed with all the gossip, could have bitten my tongue

afterwards, but I needed to feel on the moral high ground.

 

Bandaid: I'm just acting out a role - thank God my family knows me better.

 

In my case, self-forgiveness of this gutless compliance comes from resolving

NEXT TIME to jump ship, lose popularity and if necessary agree to disagree.

 

 

 

" REALLY I did my best in good faith, but I took the wrong options ...... "

 

Our chief politician is coping with this now. A few years ago here in Canberra

Australia, we had a bush fire that burnt down a few hundred homes and killed

about 10 people. Our man was grilled by numerous legal commissions " You knew the

fires were coming why didn't you warn everyone ? " . Reply: " I didn't want to

panic the City when I thought our fire-fighters could cope !! " Then there was

the local Dad who bought his lovely 17 yo daughter a new car for her birthday.

She killed herself in it the next night while speeding. Then you can get into

the emotional minefield where you implicate yourself as the doomsday factor in a

chain of events that leads to tragedy. It happened to me last week....I went to

an elderly gent to take him for coffee - scheduled outing. As I let myself in, I

heard him tell his daughter he couldn't see her that day as I was on his

doorstep, so he said he'd see her soon. 2 days later he's at her house - a door

falls on him. He died. Was I to blame?

if there were no me, then there would be no death !! My grandmother blamed

herself for her son's death in a Japanese POW camp , because if she hadn't asked

him to repeat his final school year, he would have been in a different theatre

of war or none at all. And so the list goes on.....

 

Bandaid - If only I had hindsight - but I don't, nor does anyone else -

c'ést la vie. I'm a fatalist, it would have happened anyway. My involvement was

purely coincidental. .

 

Self-forgiveness (?) - my guess would be if the guilt lay SQUARELY on my

shoulders, I would become an activist to warn others. But otherwise I think the

bandaids make a lot of sense - I try to be gentle with myself, exactly as I

would, if needsbe, to soothe someone else caught up in this guilt trap.

 

 

" On the swings and roundabouts of fairness, I was entitled to .. because

he/she did......but maybe I should have turned the other cheek? "

 

Examples: She cheated on me. I'm cheating on her. The boss pays

peanuts - I'm ENTITLED to sickies.

 

Bandaids: Morality is always relative - the inequality in the world today has

got nothing to do with any law of natural justice. Everyone's doing it !!

 

Self-forgiveness - I've learnt to quit situations where get-squares are

tempting or are the done thing. Then I only need to forgive myself for being a

poverty-stricken loser!

 

 

 

" I made lots of mistakes, hurt people and betrayed peoples' trust when I was

young and silly......and I can't replay these events. "

 

Examples: Too numerous to mention !!!

 

 

Bandaids: I was so young and naive, the school curriculum was out-of-touch

with my needs, why wasn't I WARNED about new life stages such as rent-sharing,

neighbour tiffs, car smashes, credit card crashes? My parents were too

self-preoccupied to warn me, I had to battle - my peer group had it easy, my

hormones were running my life, I was swept away by rebelliousness, I was a slow

learner. Basically I was just a very DIFFERENT person then. I shouldn't be

nailed to my past.

 

Self-forgiveness - Hey not all those things happened to me but they were

pretty commonplace for teenagers and twenty-somethings of my time. And yes IMHO

there are and always will be 2 types of people in this world - those who are on

a continuous learning curve and those who were born mature and steady, who

learnt very early from others' mistakes rather than their own. For the excesses

of our youthful years, it would be lovely to track down every person on our

damage flight path and say I'm SO sorry, handshake/hug. My own version of

reconciliation with my own past is to see that younger person... simply as an

earnest, idealistic mistake-prone beginner, who I now fully forgive. Karma may

have a differing verdict !!

 

 

" Why aren't/wasn't I a real somebody, an amazing achiever, a creative genius,

a leader. ALTERNATIVELY, why aren't/wasn't I a better team player ??? "

 

Bandaid: Most people are ordinary. Why should I be a celebrity? //////

If I don't get on with other people, it's because I'm an individual, not a robot

or sweated labour !!

 

Here I think self-forgiveness lies in newly sitting back, exploring talents,

slowly seeing where they lead and ignoring that greener grass. If money,

notoriety follow (neither has in my case), then sobeit. Kundalini people seem

to thrive on creativity for its own sake and are amongst the happiest, I've had

the pleasure to know. As to not having been a team player, perhaps

self-forgiveness sets in when it is finally recognised that frictions arise when

we can't conceptualise virtue in well performed, mediocre/trivial tasks. Also,

in seeing that the " I did it my way " approach is capable of bringing down entire

organisations. Very ego-dissolving or enhancing prospects !!

 

My last 3 years spent part-time as a reviled junk mail courier, have taught me

all about humility and I recommend anything similar as a self-forgiveness

pathway.

 

 

Things said, emails sent in haste and anger:

 

Examples: Flame wars, trigger-happy car horn use, frustrated messages left on

phones, stress-driven insults behind closed doors, drama queen body language in

queues.

 

Bandaids: Had an off-day - out-of-character for me; about time I stood up to

be counted; I had every right to blow up when I got such rotten service.

 

Self-forgiveness: maybe none necessary, but the up-tightness I get in my

forehead when I rebuke, always reminds me there must have been a '' better

way''. Yes, so self-forgiveness goes onto my agenda. Apology when cooler head is

prevailing, resolving to be stoical and letting future tensions pass over my

head, like rolling under a wave.

 

 

FINALLY:

 

We're not as " good " as the best thing we've done BUT NOR will we EVER be as

" bad " as our WORST mistake. Humans are far too complex to weigh character on a

set of value scales. Your life's value isn't gauged by arithmetic. It's not a

self-assessed balance of good and evil. Instead, each wise act of your maturing

self, starts a new day and changes you and the world forever - IRREVERSIBLY.

 

 

Forgiving Others:

 

Contemplating a vision of forgiving and forgetting? - never !!! No, no;

remember and remind.........Relive and reconstruct what I SHOULD have said and

done and remember always the aching, the agonising, the throbbing, the tormented

feelings of hurt and anger - yes, in my hurt, are the feelings of humiliation,

shame, let-down and crushed ego. I attribute to you, arguments and power-plays

that caused your objectivity and cynicism to crush my naivety and optimism, your

knowledge to mock my inexperience, your power and independence (and perhaps your

gender) to exploit my vulnerability, your self-confidence to swamp my

time-and-place feelings of inadequacy. Ah.........the drama.

 

As time passes and memories fade, I've explored putting up a new sail to

investigate the inner frailty of the person who hurt me. Frailties include

obtuseness, tiredness or weakness, peer pressure, acting under instruction and

duress, insecurity and numerous other jigsaw pieces. For me, closure WITHOUT

receipt of an apology or explanation, starts from that point of image

reconjuring and takes me through the following stages:

 

 

 

- Yes I forgive you in a public sense, but I'm going to track your life's

events, vicariously waiting and hoping for you to go amiss.

 

- In my need to restore my self-esteem, I will position you outside of myself

to drain your potency but you STILL invade my thoughts and dreams.

 

- Now, with new inner wisdom, I've entered your being, walked in your shoes,

see myself as you see me and ah....... I fully understand your processes, love

you, and will be thrilled when your self-perceived fulfilments occur......but

physical contact will remain awkward for some time yet.

 

- Your image and all the emotive things that I used to see have faded - there

are no scars, no resonances. Again I love you and wish you well.

 

==============================================================

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Hi,

 

Thanks to John for posting this. It has been really good for me to

read. I have been having a major struggle with forgiveness over the

past weeks. I haven't been present on this list because I have felt

guilty and like I am not living up to the standards I find here

because I seem not to be able to forgive the person who hurt me. I

have not responded to other mails on the list because I don't see that

at the moment I will have something helpful to contribute.

 

I wrote a while ago about a shaman friend of mine who had told me she

could not accept who I now was, and this has been very painful for me.

It has led to a total breakdown of our friendship, we do not talk at

all anymore. All my initial attempts to try and make bridges of

understanding just seemed to make things worse. So, in the end, I

decided the only thing to do was to break off all contact and wait

until she (if ever) decided to try again.

 

Some weeks later I went to Germany and met with a group of

international friends who unhesitatingly accepted me with wide open

arms. Sure, they all asked me some searching questions to see if I was

doing okay or in need of help but they seemed to think I was doing

okay, and instead of condemning me they instead gently teased me about

the kriyas whilst being completely unfazed by them. I cannot begin to

express in words just how special and wonderful that weekend was for

me. To be held and loved and accepted truly for who I am was

indescribably beautiful and heart-filling for me. I felt released from

my self-doubts and negative viewpoints. I relaxed about myself and my

process for the first time in a very long time.

 

All this is wonderful, but I still am confronted by my feelings about

my shaman friend. We live in the same town and it feels so awkward

that we do not talk. I have some days when I do not think about it and

some days when it revolves endlessly round in my mind. Sometimes i

want to just contact her and ask her to sit with me and talk until we

can find a way to understand each other. And then I remember talking

with her, and her not being able to meet my eye as she felt so

uncomfortable around me. And I explain it all over again in my head. I

try to tell myself that I must just accept this, let go of it, stop

trying to reach out to something that is gone. And then I think that

it is just my own ego and fear that keep me back from trying again.

 

I am finding impossible to really let go of this, and therefore to

truly forgive her.

 

I don't know how to move forward with this. Like I said, I feel like I

should be able to let go of this and forgive with an open heart but I

don't know how.

 

I thought I was doing well with the K and the process, but I now am

stuck in a mire of hurt and pain and broken trusts. I have tried to

look from her point of view, and I have made some progress in this but

not enough I think.

 

In addition to this I have had nausea and indigestion, sometimes to an

extreme level almost all the time since this friendship breakdown

happened. The dr says it's a virus but I suspect it is a physical

manifestation of what I am mentally and emotionally experiencing.

 

If anyone has any useful advice or suggestions, I would be grateful to

hear them. I admit now that I am stuck, I am in a place that I can't

see the way out of alone and I think I need some help with this.

 

In love and peace,

Ruari

 

 

 

, " "

<...> wrote:

<snip>

Forgiving Others: Contemplating a vision

> of forgiving and forgetting? - never !!! No, no; remember and

> remind.........Relive and reconstruct what I SHOULD have said and done

> and remember always the aching, the agonising, the throbbing, the

> tormented feelings of hurt and anger - yes, in my hurt, are the feelings

> of humiliation, shame, let-down and crushed ego. I attribute to you,

> arguments and power-plays that caused your objectivity and cynicism to

> crush my naivety and optimism, your knowledge to mock my inexperience,

> your power and independence (and perhaps your gender) to exploit my

> vulnerability, your self-confidence to swamp my time-and-place feelings

> of inadequacy. Ah.........the drama. As time passes and

> memories fade, I've explored putting up a new sail to investigate the

> inner frailty of the person who hurt me. Frailties include obtuseness,

> tiredness or weakness, peer pressure, acting under instruction and

> duress, insecurity and numerous other jigsaw pieces. For me, closure

> WITHOUT receipt of an apology or explanation, starts from that point of

> image reconjuring and takes me through the following stages: - Yes

> I forgive you in a public sense, but I'm going to track your life's

> events, vicariously waiting and hoping for you to go amiss. - In my

> need to restore my self-esteem, I will position you outside of myself to

> drain your potency but you STILL invade my thoughts and dreams. - Now,

> with new inner wisdom, I've entered your being, walked in your shoes,

> see myself as you see me and ah....... I fully understand your

> processes, love you, and will be thrilled when your self-perceived

> fulfilments occur......but physical contact will remain awkward for some

> time yet. - Your image and all the emotive things that I used to see

> have faded - there are no scars, no resonances. Again I love you and

> wish you well.

> ==============================================================

>