Guest guest Posted March 7, 2007 Report Share Posted March 7, 2007 Dearest Ruari, its hard. Losing a close friend is painful. Sometimes you just have to let them go when they can't walk with you. Its no ones fault, just part of the journey. I lost a close friend, too. There was nothing I could do...I just had to let her go her own way. I still love, she's just not able to receive. I don't see it as she hurt me, I see it as love allowing freedom. Letting go of attachment and loving purely whether its received or not...there is no pain in that. May you find the freedom of love. Always love, dhyana --- Ruari <spirit wrote: > Hi, > > Thanks to John for posting this. It has been really > good for me to > read. I have been having a major struggle with > forgiveness over the > past weeks. I haven't been present on this list > because I have felt > guilty and like I am not living up to the standards > I find here > because I seem not to be able to forgive the person > who hurt me. I > have not responded to other mails on the list > because I don't see that > at the moment I will have something helpful to > contribute. > > I wrote a while ago about a shaman friend of mine > who had told me she > could not accept who I now was, and this has been > very painful for me. > It has led to a total breakdown of our friendship, > we do not talk at > all anymore. All my initial attempts to try and make > bridges of > understanding just seemed to make things worse. So, > in the end, I > decided the only thing to do was to break off all > contact and wait > until she (if ever) decided to try again. > > Some weeks later I went to Germany and met with a > group of > international friends who unhesitatingly accepted me > with wide open > arms. Sure, they all asked me some searching > questions to see if I was > doing okay or in need of help but they seemed to > think I was doing > okay, and instead of condemning me they instead > gently teased me about > the kriyas whilst being completely unfazed by them. > I cannot begin to > express in words just how special and wonderful that > weekend was for > me. To be held and loved and accepted truly for who > I am was > indescribably beautiful and heart-filling for me. I > felt released from > my self-doubts and negative viewpoints. I relaxed > about myself and my > process for the first time in a very long time. > > All this is wonderful, but I still am confronted by > my feelings about > my shaman friend. We live in the same town and it > feels so awkward > that we do not talk. I have some days when I do not > think about it and > some days when it revolves endlessly round in my > mind. Sometimes i > want to just contact her and ask her to sit with me > and talk until we > can find a way to understand each other. And then I > remember talking > with her, and her not being able to meet my eye as > she felt so > uncomfortable around me. And I explain it all over > again in my head. I > try to tell myself that I must just accept this, let > go of it, stop > trying to reach out to something that is gone. And > then I think that > it is just my own ego and fear that keep me back > from trying again. > > I am finding impossible to really let go of this, > and therefore to > truly forgive her. > > I don't know how to move forward with this. Like I > said, I feel like I > should be able to let go of this and forgive with an > open heart but I > don't know how. > > I thought I was doing well with the K and the > process, but I now am > stuck in a mire of hurt and pain and broken trusts. > I have tried to > look from her point of view, and I have made some > progress in this but > not enough I think. > > In addition to this I have had nausea and > indigestion, sometimes to an > extreme level almost all the time since this > friendship breakdown > happened. The dr says it's a virus but I suspect it > is a physical > manifestation of what I am mentally and emotionally > experiencing. > > If anyone has any useful advice or suggestions, I > would be grateful to > hear them. I admit now that I am stuck, I am in a > place that I can't > see the way out of alone and I think I need some > help with this. > > In love and peace, > Ruari > > > > --- In > , " John > Rooke " > <...> wrote: > <snip> > Forgiving Others: Contemplating a vision > > of forgiving and forgetting? - never !!! No, no; > remember and > > remind.........Relive and reconstruct what I > SHOULD have said and done > > and remember always the aching, the agonising, the > throbbing, the > > tormented feelings of hurt and anger - yes, in my > hurt, are the feelings > > of humiliation, shame, let-down and crushed ego. > I attribute to you, > > arguments and power-plays that caused your > objectivity and cynicism to > > crush my naivety and optimism, your knowledge to > mock my inexperience, > > your power and independence (and perhaps your > gender) to exploit my > > vulnerability, your self-confidence to swamp my > time-and-place feelings > > of inadequacy. Ah.........the drama. As > time passes and > > memories fade, I've explored putting up a new sail > to investigate the > > inner frailty of the person who hurt me. Frailties > include obtuseness, > > tiredness or weakness, peer pressure, acting under > instruction and > > duress, insecurity and numerous other jigsaw > pieces. For me, closure > > WITHOUT receipt of an apology or explanation, > starts from that point of > > image reconjuring and takes me through the > following stages: - Yes > > I forgive you in a public sense, but I'm going to > track your life's > > events, vicariously waiting and hoping for you to > go amiss. - In my > > need to restore my self-esteem, I will position > you outside of myself to > > drain your potency but you STILL invade my > thoughts and dreams. - Now, > > with new inner wisdom, I've entered your being, > walked in your shoes, > > see myself as you see me and ah....... I fully > understand your > > processes, love you, and will be thrilled when > your self-perceived > > fulfilments occur......but physical contact will > remain awkward for some > > time yet. - Your image and all the emotive > things that I used to see > > have faded - there are no scars, no resonances. > Again I love you and > > wish you well. > > > ============================================================== > > > > > ______________________________\ ____ Finding fabulous fares is fun. Let FareChase search your favorite travel sites to find flight and hotel bargains. http://farechase./promo-generic-14795097 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2007 Report Share Posted March 8, 2007 Beautiful, dhyana. Love, Troy , novalees <Novalees wrote: > > Dearest Ruari, its hard. Losing a close friend is > painful. Sometimes you just have to let them go when > they can't walk with you. Its no ones fault, just part > of the journey. I lost a close friend, too. There was > nothing I could do...I just had to let her go her own > way. I still love, she's just not able to receive. I > don't see it as she hurt me, I see it as love allowing > freedom. Letting go of attachment and loving purely > whether its received or not...there is no pain in > that. May you find the freedom of love. Always love, > dhyana > --- Ruari <spirit wrote: > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 10, 2007 Report Share Posted March 10, 2007 Rauri, You know the saying " If you love something let it go. If it comes back it is yours. If it doesn't it was never meant to be. " Even though I know it is a hard thing to accept, a lot of times it is true, very true! Anyway, I hope things work out for you Rauri! We have all lost someone close as you have, and it is so hard, so hard! May you have many Blessings! Love, Katherine novalees <Novalees wrote: Dearest Ruari, its hard. Losing a close friend is painful. Sometimes you just have to let them go when they can't walk with you. Its no ones fault, just part of the journey. I lost a close friend, too. There was nothing I could do...I just had to let her go her own way. I still love, she's just not able to receive. I don't see it as she hurt me, I see it as love allowing freedom. Letting go of attachment and loving purely whether its received or not...there is no pain in that. May you find the freedom of love. Always love, dhyana --- Ruari <spirit wrote: > Hi, > > Thanks to John for posting this. It has been really > good for me to > read. I have been having a major struggle with > forgiveness over the > past weeks. I haven't been present on this list > because I have felt > guilty and like I am not living up to the standards > I find here > because I seem not to be able to forgive the person > who hurt me. I > have not responded to other mails on the list > because I don't see that > at the moment I will have something helpful to > contribute. > > I wrote a while ago about a shaman friend of mine > who had told me she > could not accept who I now was, and this has been > very painful for me. > It has led to a total breakdown of our friendship, > we do not talk at > all anymore. All my initial attempts to try and make > bridges of > understanding just seemed to make things worse. So, > in the end, I > decided the only thing to do was to break off all > contact and wait > until she (if ever) decided to try again. > > Some weeks later I went to Germany and met with a > group of > international friends who unhesitatingly accepted me > with wide open > arms. Sure, they all asked me some searching > questions to see if I was > doing okay or in need of help but they seemed to > think I was doing > okay, and instead of condemning me they instead > gently teased me about > the kriyas whilst being completely unfazed by them. > I cannot begin to > express in words just how special and wonderful that > weekend was for > me. To be held and loved and accepted truly for who > I am was > indescribably beautiful and heart-filling for me. I > felt released from > my self-doubts and negative viewpoints. I relaxed > about myself and my > process for the first time in a very long time. > > All this is wonderful, but I still am confronted by > my feelings about > my shaman friend. We live in the same town and it > feels so awkward > that we do not talk. I have some days when I do not > think about it and > some days when it revolves endlessly round in my > mind. Sometimes i > want to just contact her and ask her to sit with me > and talk until we > can find a way to understand each other. And then I > remember talking > with her, and her not being able to meet my eye as > she felt so > uncomfortable around me. And I explain it all over > again in my head. I > try to tell myself that I must just accept this, let > go of it, stop > trying to reach out to something that is gone. And > then I think that > it is just my own ego and fear that keep me back > from trying again. > > I am finding impossible to really let go of this, > and therefore to > truly forgive her. > > I don't know how to move forward with this. Like I > said, I feel like I > should be able to let go of this and forgive with an > open heart but I > don't know how. > > I thought I was doing well with the K and the > process, but I now am > stuck in a mire of hurt and pain and broken trusts. > I have tried to > look from her point of view, and I have made some > progress in this but > not enough I think. > > In addition to this I have had nausea and > indigestion, sometimes to an > extreme level almost all the time since this > friendship breakdown > happened. The dr says it's a virus but I suspect it > is a physical > manifestation of what I am mentally and emotionally > experiencing. > > If anyone has any useful advice or suggestions, I > would be grateful to > hear them. I admit now that I am stuck, I am in a > place that I can't > see the way out of alone and I think I need some > help with this. > > In love and peace, > Ruari > > > > --- In > , " John > Rooke " > <...> wrote: > <snip> > Forgiving Others: Contemplating a vision > > of forgiving and forgetting? - never !!! No, no; > remember and > > remind.........Relive and reconstruct what I > SHOULD have said and done > > and remember always the aching, the agonising, the > throbbing, the > > tormented feelings of hurt and anger - yes, in my > hurt, are the feelings > > of humiliation, shame, let-down and crushed ego. > I attribute to you, > > arguments and power-plays that caused your > objectivity and cynicism to > > crush my naivety and optimism, your knowledge to > mock my inexperience, > > your power and independence (and perhaps your > gender) to exploit my > > vulnerability, your self-confidence to swamp my > time-and-place feelings > > of inadequacy. Ah.........the drama. As > time passes and > > memories fade, I've explored putting up a new sail > to investigate the > > inner frailty of the person who hurt me. Frailties > include obtuseness, > > tiredness or weakness, peer pressure, acting under > instruction and > > duress, insecurity and numerous other jigsaw > pieces. For me, closure > > WITHOUT receipt of an apology or explanation, > starts from that point of > > image reconjuring and takes me through the > following stages: - Yes > > I forgive you in a public sense, but I'm going to > track your life's > > events, vicariously waiting and hoping for you to > go amiss. - In my > > need to restore my self-esteem, I will position > you outside of myself to > > drain your potency but you STILL invade my > thoughts and dreams. - Now, > > with new inner wisdom, I've entered your being, > walked in your shoes, > > see myself as you see me and ah....... I fully > understand your > > processes, love you, and will be thrilled when > your self-perceived > > fulfilments occur......but physical contact will > remain awkward for some > > time yet. - Your image and all the emotive > things that I used to see > > have faded - there are no scars, no resonances. > Again I love you and > > wish you well. > > > ============================================================== > > > > > ________ Finding fabulous fares is fun. Let FareChase search your favorite travel sites to find flight and hotel bargains. http://farechase./promo-generic-14795097 Now that's room service! Choose from over 150,000 hotels in 45,000 destinations on Travel to find your fit. Get your own web address. Have a HUGE year through Small Business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 11, 2007 Report Share Posted March 11, 2007 Hi Dhyana, Thank you, you inspire me with your example. Reading all of these messages here makes it easier for me to see how to love and let go of the pain, peace, Ruari xxx , novalees <Novalees wrote: > > Dearest Ruari, its hard. Losing a close friend is > painful. Sometimes you just have to let them go when > they can't walk with you. Its no ones fault, just part > of the journey. I lost a close friend, too. There was > nothing I could do...I just had to let her go her own > way. I still love, she's just not able to receive. I > don't see it as she hurt me, I see it as love allowing > freedom. Letting go of attachment and loving purely > whether its received or not...there is no pain in > that. May you find the freedom of love. Always love, > dhyana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2007 Report Share Posted March 24, 2007 Very nice Sarita - thanks. 'makes me reflect on some people in my life... Blessings.. Paul > " Sarita " <sarita1969 > > > Forgiveness >Sat, 24 Mar 2007 04:12:52 -0000 > >Since we are moving on to the Heart Chakra, I felt compelled to share >a personal story about forgiveness. > >My first husband was a miserable human being who took every >opportunity to put me down. He especially enjoyed making fun of my >spiritual pursuits. I became so miserable and despondent that at one >point my intuition disappeared altogether and I was flying blind. >This lasted for a few years. I am not sure how I survived because I >have always beenn a spiritual being who lives by intuition and >instinct far more than logic. All psychic abiliity disappeared and I >felt completely abandoned. > >When I finally extricated myself from this disaster of a marriage, I >had a LOT of anger and hatred towards my ex. He began a campaign of >harrassment that sent me into a tailspin and left me dreaming of ways >to get revenge. I was in a really bad place. > >My father is very religious and was teaching a Sunday school class >and invited me to go because he had a guest speaker. I went to >please my dad. The man who was there offered to pray with anyone who >needed it after his talk. We were milling about the room and he came >up to me and told me that I was holding unforgiveness in my heart. >He started plucking and pulling as if there was a string coming out >of my chest and telling me to let go of this burden. It was one of >the most intense experiences I have ever had! I don't know what >compelled him to come to me or how he knew what my problem was, but I >felt this release and I started bawling like a baby. The tears just >kept streaming as it all rushed out of me. All the anger, rage, >hatred. > >That is the day my spiritual life resumed, my intuition returned, I >started dreaming again. I learned a valuable lesson about >forgiveness. It is as much for us as for the person we forgive, if >not more. When we dwell on the negative we draw it into our lives. >When we forgive someone I believe it does two things. It releases us >but it also effects the other person's soul in some way, perhaps >planting the seeds to making them a better person. > >Sorry so long, just felt that I should share this. > >Sarita > _______________ It’s tax season, make sure to follow these few simple tips http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/Taxes/PreparationTips/PreparationTips.aspx?\ icid=HMMartagline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2007 Report Share Posted March 24, 2007 Hey Sarita, Well written, well lived, well learned. Please share more anytime, even if I pick up a smidgen of what you gained it's so worth it! Thanks, Bradly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2007 Report Share Posted March 24, 2007 Dear Sarita, What an incredibly appropriate and inspiring incident to share with us! Forgiveness is a most difficult task and you modeled so perfectly how the act of forgiving others frees the forgiver, as well. The more I hear from you, the more awed I am by you and the more blessed I feel to know you. I'll be thinking about this story for a long, long time... God bless you, Sarita, Claudia --- Sarita <sarita1969 wrote: > Since we are moving on to the Heart Chakra, I felt > compelled to share > a personal story about forgiveness. > > My first husband was a miserable human being who > took every > opportunity to put me down. He especially enjoyed > making fun of my > spiritual pursuits. I became so miserable and > despondent that at one > point my intuition disappeared altogether and I was > flying blind. > This lasted for a few years. I am not sure how I > survived because I > have always beenn a spiritual being who lives by > intuition and > instinct far more than logic. All psychic abiliity > disappeared and I > felt completely abandoned. > > When I finally extricated myself from this disaster > of a marriage, I > had a LOT of anger and hatred towards my ex. He > began a campaign of > harrassment that sent me into a tailspin and left me > dreaming of ways > to get revenge. I was in a really bad place. > > My father is very religious and was teaching a > Sunday school class > and invited me to go because he had a guest speaker. > I went to > please my dad. The man who was there offered to > pray with anyone who > needed it after his talk. We were milling about the > room and he came > up to me and told me that I was holding > unforgiveness in my heart. > He started plucking and pulling as if there was a > string coming out > of my chest and telling me to let go of this burden. > It was one of > the most intense experiences I have ever had! I > don't know what > compelled him to come to me or how he knew what my > problem was, but I > felt this release and I started bawling like a baby. > The tears just > kept streaming as it all rushed out of me. All the > anger, rage, > hatred. > > That is the day my spiritual life resumed, my > intuition returned, I > started dreaming again. I learned a valuable lesson > about > forgiveness. It is as much for us as for the person > we forgive, if > not more. When we dwell on the negative we draw it > into our lives. > When we forgive someone I believe it does two > things. It releases us > but it also effects the other person's soul in some > way, perhaps > planting the seeds to making them a better person. > > Sorry so long, just felt that I should share this. > > Sarita > > ______________________________\ ____ It's here! Your new message! Get new email alerts with the free Toolbar. http://tools.search./toolbar/features/mail/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2007 Report Share Posted March 24, 2007 Dear Sarita! You touched on many key points in the spiritual awakening process in a relatively short message! Forgiveness, letting go of anger (etc), deep spiritual people " passing the light to others " .... By exposing you to light, " the man at the church " helped you get back in touch with YOUR inner light which can shine on your 'ex' and help him! This is a wonderful example of spirituality in progress! Group members: don't ever hold back from your enlightening experiences, some times one sharing equals one awakening! Bless you all! :) Stephen C. > --- Sarita <sarita1969 wrote: > > > Since we are moving on to the Heart Chakra, I felt > > compelled to share > > a personal story about forgiveness. > > > > My first husband was a miserable human being who > > took every > > opportunity to put me down. He especially enjoyed > > making fun of my > > spiritual pursuits. I became so miserable and > > despondent that at one > > point my intuition disappeared altogether and I was > > flying blind. > > This lasted for a few years. I am not sure how I > > survived because I > > have always beenn a spiritual being who lives by > > intuition and > > instinct far more than logic. All psychic abiliity > > disappeared and I > > felt completely abandoned. > > > > When I finally extricated myself from this disaster > > of a marriage, I > > had a LOT of anger and hatred towards my ex. He > > began a campaign of > > harrassment that sent me into a tailspin and left me > > dreaming of ways > > to get revenge. I was in a really bad place. > > > > My father is very religious and was teaching a > > Sunday school class > > and invited me to go because he had a guest speaker. > > I went to > > please my dad. The man who was there offered to > > pray with anyone who > > needed it after his talk. We were milling about the > > room and he came > > up to me and told me that I was holding > > unforgiveness in my heart. > > He started plucking and pulling as if there was a > > string coming out > > of my chest and telling me to let go of this burden. > > It was one of > > the most intense experiences I have ever had! I > > don't know what > > compelled him to come to me or how he knew what my > > problem was, but I > > felt this release and I started bawling like a baby. > > The tears just > > kept streaming as it all rushed out of me. All the > > anger, rage, > > hatred. > > > > That is the day my spiritual life resumed, my > > intuition returned, I > > started dreaming again. I learned a valuable lesson > > about > > forgiveness. It is as much for us as for the person > > we forgive, if > > not more. When we dwell on the negative we draw it > > into our lives. > > When we forgive someone I believe it does two > > things. It releases us > > but it also effects the other person's soul in some > > way, perhaps > > planting the seeds to making them a better person. > > > > Sorry so long, just felt that I should share this. > > > > Sarita > > > > > > > > > ____________________ ______________ > It's here! Your new message! > Get new email alerts with the free Toolbar. > http://tools.search./toolbar/features/mail/ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2007 Report Share Posted March 24, 2007 Hey Bradly! Hope your journey is going well this week! Sarita , " curball2002 " <curball2002 wrote: > > Hey Sarita, > > Well written, well lived, well learned. Please share more anytime, even > if I pick up a smidgen of what you gained it's so worth it! > > Thanks, > > Bradly > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 24, 2007 Report Share Posted March 24, 2007 Thank you Claudia! (you are really good for my ego, lol) The way I look at it, if I can touch even one person with that story then I have done what I set out to do. Experience does nothing if not shared, imho. I feel that everything we go through in our lives is for a reason, nothing happens by " mistake " . Maybe my experience was so dramatic so that I could inspire someone else with it. Sarita , Claudia Lambright <newtfoodbowl wrote: > > Dear Sarita, > > What an incredibly appropriate and inspiring incident > to share with us! Forgiveness is a most difficult > task and you modeled so perfectly how the act of > forgiving others frees the forgiver, as well. The > more I hear from you, the more awed I am by you and > the more blessed I feel to know you. I'll be thinking > about this story for a long, long time... > > God bless you, Sarita, > Claudia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2007 Report Share Posted March 25, 2007 Hi Sarita, Thanks for posting this as I went through the same experiences in my marriage....including the harrasement and turning other people, friends and family against me. I also was left with such low self esteem, lack of self love and anger, hatred etc etc...to heal. My healing started with me being guided to do a candle lighting ritual which involved love, no regrets etc and to use a small piece of wool. I'm not trained in this type of ritual magick but I knew the guidence came from the highest levels because I was surrounded by white light and could see glitters of gold everywhere. My main reason for this post is that by using this piece of wool as a symbol of the situation, resulted in it slowley being unraveled as time went on..and still continues to unravel now nearly a year later - I beilive I'm in the final stages now. It wasn't instant as yours was I wish it was Sometimes healing occurs in diffrent ways for different reasons, it always individual. Usually smbolically I cut the ties, or strings etc....I've never 'unravelled' wool or string. I notice the similarities that your healer removed string as well. Interesting! Amaargi , " Sarita " <sarita1969 wrote: > > Since we are moving on to the Heart Chakra, I felt compelled to share > a personal story about forgiveness. > > My first husband was a miserable human being who took every > opportunity to put me down. He especially enjoyed making fun of my > spiritual pursuits. I became so miserable and despondent that at one > point my intuition disappeared altogether and I was flying blind. > This lasted for a few years. I am not sure how I survived because I > have always beenn a spiritual being who lives by intuition and > instinct far more than logic. All psychic abiliity disappeared and I > felt completely abandoned. > > When I finally extricated myself from this disaster of a marriage, I > had a LOT of anger and hatred towards my ex. He began a campaign of > harrassment that sent me into a tailspin and left me dreaming of ways > to get revenge. I was in a really bad place. > > My father is very religious and was teaching a Sunday school class > and invited me to go because he had a guest speaker. I went to > please my dad. The man who was there offered to pray with anyone who > needed it after his talk. We were milling about the room and he came > up to me and told me that I was holding unforgiveness in my heart. > He started plucking and pulling as if there was a string coming out > of my chest and telling me to let go of this burden. It was one of > the most intense experiences I have ever had! I don't know what > compelled him to come to me or how he knew what my problem was, but I > felt this release and I started bawling like a baby. The tears just > kept streaming as it all rushed out of me. All the anger, rage, > hatred. > > That is the day my spiritual life resumed, my intuition returned, I > started dreaming again. I learned a valuable lesson about > forgiveness. It is as much for us as for the person we forgive, if > not more. When we dwell on the negative we draw it into our lives. > When we forgive someone I believe it does two things. It releases us > but it also effects the other person's soul in some way, perhaps > planting the seeds to making them a better person. > > Sorry so long, just felt that I should share this. > > Sarita > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2007 Report Share Posted March 25, 2007 Yes, all of our experiences are different. My hurts went on for years and much of them were due to my own weaknesses. I have never had an experience of instantaneous forgiveness like that one with others before or since. Only this year did I forgive my father for abandoning me as a child and then allowing his new wife to be abusive to me. That one took oh, 20 something years! I am happy for you that you are healing. Sometimes slow healing is the best kind. I'll keep you in my thoughts. Sarita , " ama_ar_gi " <ama_ar_gi wrote: > > Hi Sarita, > > Thanks for posting this as I went through the same experiences in my > marriage....including the harrasement and turning other people, > friends and family against me. I also was left with such low self > esteem, lack of self love and anger, hatred etc etc...to heal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 28, 2007 Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 Wow, that's a toughie. But the good thing is that your wife is still with you. Maybe you could focus on that instead. Think of all the people out there that were not so lucky as you were. I was hit by a truck that blew through a red light a little over a year ago. The driver is trying to blame me for it. I at first was outraged and I had a really hard time forgiving this thoughtless individual that either wasn't paying any attention or was talking on a cell phone, whatever. I realized that my anger towards him was just hurting me. I feel sorry for him now. Think of the bad karma he has created for himself! Also, he has to live with the fact that he seriously injured a young mother and ripped her out of the arms of a 14 month old for 6 weeks. I would not want to be in his position. Forgiveness is not an easy thing. Just this year, I forgave everyone that I needed to and the anger did not come back. If the anger comes back, I don't believe that the forgiveness was completely successful. I wish you luck with this. It is a very difficult path to walk, but a very rewarding one. Sarita Kundalini-Awakening-Systems- 1 , " rodneyderbyshire " <rodneyderbyshire wrote: > > Hi group > I am struggling with forgiving,I have gone back through my life > and forgiven everything that needs forgiving. > My problem is that I can forgive now this minute and really mean > it.Tomorrow I will think of one particular incident, and I will get > angry and want revenge or justice.Briefly,my wife was run down by two > car thieves as they were getting away.These things happen aqnd I can > forgive them.What I struggle with is, the owner of the car was on his > car phone when they dragged him out,and his boss taped their > conversation as they drove away.The thief who was driving laughingly > admitted to his partner that he ran her down on purpose.This is > difficult to forgive.I ask myself what will my reactions be if I EVER > FIND OUT WHO THEY ARE.I would like to think that I would tell them > that we forgive them,genuinly. > When I see her limping,I think bad thoughts. > > Love > Rod > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 28, 2007 Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 Reposting this for all who may find it useful. I find that when it's hard to forgive and let go I need to understand the lesson. Once I understand, then it is easier to let go and move on. Love, dhyana >I found this exercise to be a beautiful way to go >through the healing and felt led to pass it on. I >really found it helpful because it gives me a chance >to speak to the one who comes before me. Hope someone >finds it useful. Love, dhyana >Sit in a quiet, comfortable place. Close your eyes and >imagine that there is a circle of light around you. >Ask yourself, " Who have I not forgiven? " Wait for >someone's face to appear in your mind's eye. It may be >a parent's face, a sibling's, a friend's, a >co-worker's, a stranger's, or it may even be your own. >Invite this person into your circle of light. >Visualize looking into his or her eyes and complete >one or both of the following sentences: >What I learned from you is... >You taught me... >When you're finished, thank that person. Then say: >I forgive you. >I release you. ..Go in peace. >Say goodbye. And with love, watch him or her leave >your circle and disappear. ______________________________\ ____Choose the right car based on your needs. Check out Autos new Car Finder tool. http://autos./carfinder/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 28, 2007 Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 As I had nor have any anger towards the drunk driver that had his license suspended who hit my son last year and caused his broken ankle I think you did not forgave this person who ran down your wife.It's called detachment and it happens naturally but I agree that it will seem very strange to you and some people. love,Nicole , " Sarita " <sarita1969 wrote: > > Wow, that's a toughie. But the good thing is that your wife is still > with you. Maybe you could focus on that instead. Think of all the > people out there that were not so lucky as you were. > > I was hit by a truck that blew through a red light a little over a > year ago. The driver is trying to blame me for it. I at first was > outraged and I had a really hard time forgiving this thoughtless > individual that either wasn't paying any attention or was talking on > a cell phone, whatever. I realized that my anger towards him was > just hurting me. I feel sorry for him now. Think of the bad karma > he has created for himself! Also, he has to live with the fact that > he seriously injured a young mother and ripped her out of the arms of > a 14 month old for 6 weeks. I would not want to be in his position. > > Forgiveness is not an easy thing. Just this year, I forgave everyone > that I needed to and the anger did not come back. If the anger comes > back, I don't believe that the forgiveness was completely successful. > > I wish you luck with this. It is a very difficult path to walk, but > a very rewarding one. > > Sarita > > Kundalini-Awakening-Systems- > 1 , " rodneyderbyshire " <rodneyderbyshire@> wrote: > > > > Hi group > > I am struggling with forgiving,I have gone back through my life > > and forgiven everything that needs forgiving. > > My problem is that I can forgive now this minute and really > mean > > it.Tomorrow I will think of one particular incident, and I will get > > angry and want revenge or justice.Briefly,my wife was run down by > two > > car thieves as they were getting away.These things happen aqnd I > can > > forgive them.What I struggle with is, the owner of the car was on > his > > car phone when they dragged him out,and his boss taped their > > conversation as they drove away.The thief who was driving > laughingly > > admitted to his partner that he ran her down on purpose.This is > > difficult to forgive.I ask myself what will my reactions be if I > EVER > > FIND OUT WHO THEY ARE.I would like to think that I would tell them > > that we forgive them,genuinly. > > When I see her limping,I think bad thoughts. > > > > Love > > Rod > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 28, 2007 Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 Thank you Dhyana for sharing that with us. I must have missed it the last time you posted it, so thanks! Love, katherine novalees <Novalees Monday, May 28, 2007 8:15:14 PM Re: Forgiveness Reposting this for all who may find it useful. I find that when it's hard to forgive and let go I need to understand the lesson. Once I understand, then it is easier to let go and move on. Love, dhyana >I found this exercise to be a beautiful way to go >through the healing and felt led to pass it on. I >really found it helpful because it gives me a chance >to speak to the one who comes before me. Hope someone >finds it useful. Love, dhyana >Sit in a quiet, comfortable place. Close your eyes and >imagine that there is a circle of light around you. >Ask yourself, " Who have I not forgiven? " Wait for >someone's face to appear in your mind's eye. It may be >a parent's face, a sibling's, a friend's, a >co-worker's, a stranger's, or it may even be your own. >Invite this person into your circle of light. >Visualize looking into his or her eyes and complete >one or both of the following sentences: >What I learned from you is... >You taught me... >When you're finished, thank that person. Then say: >I forgive you. >I release you. ..Go in peace. >Say goodbye. And with love, watch him or her leave >your circle and disappear. ____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _Choose the right car based on your needs. Check out Autos new Car Finder tool. http://autos. / carfinder/ ______________________________\ ____ Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story. Play Sims Stories at Games. http://sims./ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 28, 2007 Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 Rod, I know where you are coming from. My son was hit when he was 4 years old and although it was not intentional, what upset me the most is that the guy used his past position as a police officer to excuse his driving. He was going 45 in a 15 mph speed zone. After hitting my child he stopped the vehicle and go out screaming, I wasn't speeding I am an ex-police officer and I wouldn't speed over and over again. He was more concerned with letting people know that rather than worrying about my 4 year old laying in the road. Then a couple of weeks later I was out in the yard and I saw this same guy speeding down the road once again, clearly not going the speed limit. Anyway, it is hard to forgive and especially if you know that person did something on purpose to hurt someone you love, but you are strong and better than that person. Look deep within you and allow yourself to let it go so that you can forgive him. May peace be with you and your wife! Love, Katherine rodneyderbyshire <rodneyderbyshire Monday, May 28, 2007 7:37:17 PM forgiveness Hi group I am struggling with forgiving,I have gone back through my life and forgiven everything that needs forgiving. My problem is that I can forgive now this minute and really mean it.Tomorrow I will think of one particular incident, and I will get angry and want revenge or justice.Briefly, my wife was run down by two car thieves as they were getting away.These things happen aqnd I can forgive them.What I struggle with is, the owner of the car was on his car phone when they dragged him out,and his boss taped their conversation as they drove away.The thief who was driving laughingly admitted to his partner that he ran her down on purpose.This is difficult to forgive.I ask myself what will my reactions be if I EVER FIND OUT WHO THEY ARE.I would like to think that I would tell them that we forgive them,genuinly. When I see her limping,I think bad thoughts. Love Rod ______________________________\ ____Building a website is a piece of cake. Small Business gives you all the tools to get online. http://smallbusiness./webhosting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 28, 2007 Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 Rod, your situation brings to mind the Omish who lost their children in that schoolhouse that day! They immediately were able to forgive an act that was purposely planned and executed. They had strength and I know you do as well! My heart goes out to you! Love, Katherine Sarita <sarita1969 Monday, May 28, 2007 7:50:25 PM Re: forgiveness Wow, that's a toughie. But the good thing is that your wife is still with you. Maybe you could focus on that instead. Think of all the people out there that were not so lucky as you were. I was hit by a truck that blew through a red light a little over a year ago. The driver is trying to blame me for it. I at first was outraged and I had a really hard time forgiving this thoughtless individual that either wasn't paying any attention or was talking on a cell phone, whatever. I realized that my anger towards him was just hurting me. I feel sorry for him now. Think of the bad karma he has created for himself! Also, he has to live with the fact that he seriously injured a young mother and ripped her out of the arms of a 14 month old for 6 weeks. I would not want to be in his position. Forgiveness is not an easy thing. Just this year, I forgave everyone that I needed to and the anger did not come back. If the anger comes back, I don't believe that the forgiveness was completely successful. I wish you luck with this. It is a very difficult path to walk, but a very rewarding one. Sarita Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 , " rodneyderbyshire " <rodneyderbyshire@ ...> wrote: > > Hi group > I am struggling with forgiving,I have gone back through my life > and forgiven everything that needs forgiving. > My problem is that I can forgive now this minute and really mean > it.Tomorrow I will think of one particular incident, and I will get > angry and want revenge or justice.Briefly, my wife was run down by two > car thieves as they were getting away.These things happen aqnd I can > forgive them.What I struggle with is, the owner of the car was on his > car phone when they dragged him out,and his boss taped their > conversation as they drove away.The thief who was driving laughingly > admitted to his partner that he ran her down on purpose.This is > difficult to forgive.I ask myself what will my reactions be if I EVER > FIND OUT WHO THEY ARE.I would like to think that I would tell them > that we forgive them,genuinly. > When I see her limping,I think bad thoughts. > > Love > Rod > ______________________________\ ____Get the free toolbar and rest assured with the added security of spyware protection. http://new.toolbar./toolbar/features/norton/index.php Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2007 Report Share Posted May 29, 2007 Dear Rodney, Do not be too hard on your self, you are only human after all forgiveness is an ongoing process and the bigger the thing to forgive the longer it takes I think. you just have to keep chipping away at it. Do it for yourself. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you think " hey, what you did was great " , it just means " I refuse to carry around with me the memory of the pain from this event " and that you can fill yourself with love again for the oneness of all things. For everyone is a part of everyone else. Life is just a movie after all, and we all play our roles, nothing is by chance, all events are generated by all involved. When you are robbed or injured you bring that into your own realm of existance to learn and grow, however difficult that may be to accept. Lots of love Elektra x x x --- rodneyderbyshire <rodneyderbyshire wrote: > Hi group > I am struggling with forgiving,I have gone back > through my life > and forgiven everything that needs forgiving. > My problem is that I can forgive now this minute > and really mean > it.Tomorrow I will think of one particular incident, > and I will get > angry and want revenge or justice.Briefly,my wife > was run down by two > car thieves as they were getting away.These things > happen aqnd I can > forgive them.What I struggle with is, the owner of > the car was on his > car phone when they dragged him out,and his boss > taped their > conversation as they drove away.The thief who was > driving laughingly > admitted to his partner that he ran her down on > purpose.This is > difficult to forgive.I ask myself what will my > reactions be if I EVER > FIND OUT WHO THEY ARE.I would like to think that I > would tell them > that we forgive them,genuinly. > When I see her limping,I think bad > thoughts. > > Love > Rod > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 29, 2007 Report Share Posted May 29, 2007 Wow...this is really deep. My apologies for intruding. I just had to comment on how much I am loving this whole 'series' on forgiveness. Especially since I've been learning 'hands-on' about forgiveness for some time now. I see an aspect of myself which needs to be tweaked a bit, and I make plans and get down to business. Usually, it has to do with letting go. I can forgive, but I can't forget easily at all. I always seem to find myself back at square one, feeling that same hurt which I felt in the beginning, and shutting that person out all over again, even though I'd forgiven them. One day I decided that the only thing I hadn't tried, in my attempt to help myself become a more enlightened 'me' and to rise above what confines me at present- I decided to try a new approach. My new approach was imagining the person as a perfect and sweet individual. Imagining all their areas of weakness surpassed. Then treating that person as though she was exactly that way. In one situation, I tried that method, and then suddenly, I began to see subtle changes in her behavior. She began to be more thoughtful, and more friendly. She began to be sweeter and surprisingly merciful. I would act loving and caring toward all who were around me, evidently, so that she could see. When she saw that I was not afraid, and that no one turned me away or looked at me like I was weird, she tried. I watched as she began little by little to show some first steps of true loving and caring without fear. Once she felt that she was accepted as such, she kept on going. Everyone began to love her more and more, and she ran with it. I truly love this individual. I'm thankful to be part of her life, she is wonderful. After that seemed to work out well, I began trying it out on a co-worker of mine who always has a bitchy attitude toward anyone and everyone whom she works with. She began to be a little nicer, and started cracking cute jokes. I love to experiment. I love to help others to become the best they can be, but I never ever would allow them to know that it was my plan all along. I let them feel like they did it by themselves, and I never make it known what I was doing (for their good, and mine). Love, Tara , " Deb " <Deb111222 wrote: > > Hey Elektra - I started to get back to you a couple of times on > this, but realized that when thinking of this (holding the perfect > image of someone) vs. (they have their own lessons or purpose) was too > perplexing for me to come up with an intelligent answer. Actually, > this is a question that I have been pondering for a very, very long > time! I had trouble figuring out what I believed about it, much less > how to put that in words. > > Still don't have it figured out! I do agree that holding the > perfect image of someone changes our perception of them and often > changes our experience of them. At the same time - it seems like this > is not always the case. That sometimes we get blind-sided by > someone's negative behavior that we had no idea was coming. > > Personally, I think of us all as co-creators, rather than sole > creaters because, well honestly, it is the only concept that my little > human mind can grasp. Or put it this way, I have not had a good > success rate at changing someone's behavior to my liking by imagining > that it be so. It could be that I'm just really lousy at it. > > But I still keep going back to that belief that we are co- > creators, and that many of our creations we chose before we came to > Earth for the purpose of experiencing and learning. Like it is a > grand scheme of some sort. But as I said before, I think of this > grand scheme as a " video game " we are born with or the " hand we were > dealt, " and this ability to consciously choose or manipulate what > happens as " the way we play the game. " > > So, I think that holding someone in a higher image or forgiving > someone is probably the best way to play the game and get the best > results. Yet, I still think there are underlying reasons for the > characters, challenges and obstacles that come our way. > > Somehow I think it is a paradox - that we are all correct. > > Deb > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 30, 2007 Report Share Posted May 30, 2007 Thank you, Tara & Deb! Sounds like a variation on the Laws of Attraction: when you visualize that someone is a dear and loving person, you treat them as if they are and they become what you have visualized. Inspiring use of energy! Love, Claudia --- Tara <tjmassage7777 wrote: > > Wow...this is really deep. > My apologies for intruding. I just had to comment on > how much I > am loving this whole 'series' on forgiveness. > Especially since I've been learning 'hands-on' about > forgiveness for > some time now. I see an aspect of myself which needs > to be tweaked a > bit, and I make plans and get down to business. > Usually, it has to do > with letting go. I can forgive, but I can't forget > easily at all. I > always seem to find myself back at square one, > feeling that same hurt > which I felt in the beginning, and shutting that > person out all over > again, even though I'd forgiven them. > One day I decided that the only thing I hadn't > tried, in my attempt to > help myself become a more enlightened 'me' and to > rise above what > confines me at present- I decided to try a new > approach. > My new approach was imagining the person as a > perfect and sweet > individual. Imagining all their areas of weakness > surpassed. > Then treating that person as though she was exactly > that way. > > In one situation, I tried that method, and then > suddenly, I > began to see subtle changes in her behavior. She > began to be more > thoughtful, and more friendly. She began to be > sweeter and > surprisingly merciful. I would act loving and caring > toward all who > were around me, evidently, so that she could see. > When she saw that I > was not afraid, and that no one turned me away or > looked at me like I > was weird, she tried. I watched as she began little > by little to show > some first steps of true loving and caring without > fear. Once she felt > that she was accepted as such, she kept on going. > Everyone began to > love her more and more, and she ran with it. I truly > love this > individual. I'm thankful to be part of her life, she > is wonderful. > > After that seemed to work out well, I began trying > it out > on a co-worker of mine who always has a bitchy > attitude toward anyone > and everyone whom she works with. She began to be a > little nicer, and > started cracking cute jokes. I love to experiment. I > love to help > others to become the best they can be, but I never > ever would allow > them to know that it was my plan all along. I let > them feel like they > did it by themselves, and I never make it known what > I was doing (for > their good, and mine). > Love, > Tara > --- In > , " Deb " > <Deb111222 wrote: > > > > Hey Elektra - I started to get back to you a > couple of times on > > this, but realized that when thinking of this > (holding the perfect > > image of someone) vs. (they have their own lessons > or purpose) was too > > perplexing for me to come up with an intelligent > answer. Actually, > > this is a question that I have been pondering for > a very, very long > > time! I had trouble figuring out what I believed > about it, much less > > how to put that in words. > > > > Still don't have it figured out! I do agree > that holding the > > perfect image of someone changes our perception of > them and often > > changes our experience of them. At the same time > - it seems like this > > is not always the case. That sometimes we get > blind-sided by > > someone's negative behavior that we had no idea > was coming. > > > > Personally, I think of us all as co-creators, > rather than sole > > creaters because, well honestly, it is the only > concept that my little > > human mind can grasp. Or put it this way, I have > not had a good > > success rate at changing someone's behavior to my > liking by imagining > > that it be so. It could be that I'm just really > lousy at it. > > > > But I still keep going back to that belief > that we are co- > > creators, and that many of our creations we chose > before we came to > > Earth for the purpose of experiencing and > learning. Like it is a > > grand scheme of some sort. But as I said before, > I think of this > > grand scheme as a " video game " we are born with or > the " hand we were > > dealt, " and this ability to consciously choose or > manipulate what > > happens as " the way we play the game. " > > > > So, I think that holding someone in a higher > image or forgiving > > someone is probably the best way to play the game > and get the best > > results. Yet, I still think there are underlying > reasons for the > > characters, challenges and obstacles that come our > way. > > > > Somehow I think it is a paradox - that we are > all correct. > > > > Deb > > > > > ______________________________\ ____You snooze, you lose. Get messages ASAP with AutoCheck in the all-new Mail Beta. http://advision.webevents./mailbeta/newmail_html.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2007 Report Share Posted June 19, 2007 That same Monster we see in another is also inside each of us. We have all done the bad things. It is a matter of understanding that we all have walked in the shoes of those we have issue with and we may once again. Life is easy when there are no difficult choices to be made. Let the veneer of society peel back just a bit and we may once again see those options as viable. Or not. Depends on how far we have come and what our levels of fear are at the time. I am only saying it is a conscious control at first but after a time a second nature quality will come with the training of our inner self in the actions of forgiveness. As you experience the qualities of Divine love via the Kundalini as opposed to romantic or motherly or fatherly, familial, or friendship based love platforms one can begin to adopt that Divine platform into their life. It isn't an overnight success and it may take some testing. Meaning that occurrences or events may become available for you to be tested with to source the depth of your practice. Bringing the rubber to the road, the bullet to the bone, the pedal to the metal (trying to be clear here lol), from the conceptual to the physical. So to say. - Just my take on it - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2007 Report Share Posted September 13, 2007 Hi, Melissa. I've been meaning to send out warm greetings to you, as well as all the other newbies who have joined recently. The day just flies by, as do my good intentions...LOL. What an excellent question! I've had this turning over in my mind as well lately. I think Kundalini will lead you in some of this. But how to know when you are not setting healthy boundaries in your eagerness to forgive and go by the axiom " live and let live " . I know that Kundalini would not want or let harm come to this physical body but to what degree she steps in or lets you know, I can't tell you the answer---because I don't know. I'd be as interested as Melissa in knowing what your opinions/knowledge on this are. A very good question! Love to you, Melissa, as well as to all, Valarie , " Melissa " <mm7810 wrote: > > Dear Friends - > > How does one go about drawing the line between forgiveness and setting > appropriate boundaries so not to be taken advantage of? Does > shaktipat help in this regard? > > Much Love, > > Melissa > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2007 Report Share Posted September 13, 2007 Forgiveness is an act of love. It is an opening towards an understanding that we are all able to make a mistake, or many mistakes, singularly and in groups, and with that understanding and love, the mistake is released as a learning experience for all concerned. The mistake is released with love as one would forgive an innocent child who has made a mistake. Keep in mind that there is much more going on in and around a person. Many different influences and distractions and tests can brutalize the best intentions and amplify the worst. So mistakes can be common. Forgiveness of them is less so but opens the way towards a non repetition of experience with the same mistake. You are free to move forward. Personal space infractions can be solved with communication and the willingness to be firm and yet understanding. It is a communication issue more than a forgiveness issue. If the action isn't stopped and insult continues despite the communication then yes forgiveness is the best course of action in conjunction with other communications that can help to resolve the problem. Being a forgiving person doesn't mean being a door mat. It means that you are able to act from a place of love continuously as the problem is solved with out experiencing rancor as the issue slowly resolves itself. And as you do so the experience of a grudge or further anxiety about the issue becomes far more distant. It takes consistent practice yet is very effective. - , " Melissa " <mm7810 wrote: > > Dear Friends - > > How does one go about drawing the line between forgiveness and setting > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 13, 2007 Report Share Posted September 13, 2007 Forgiveness does not mean " I am a doormat " , standing up for yourself is also needed, forgiveness just means " I will harbour no bad feelings towards you or judgement on your actions " . Also, we all need to take responsibilty for our part in every scenario, each being a mirror into ourself. If the lesson we need to learn is self respect then we will keep repeating certain situations until we take care of ourself. So, love, forgive but be strong and respect yourself, set loving boundaries , self love has to come before you can love others I believe. Shaktipat can only do as much as you can give. Be strong and loving. Hope this helps a little, Elektra x x x --- Melissa <mm7810 wrote: > Dear Friends - > > How does one go about drawing the line between > forgiveness and setting > appropriate boundaries so not to be taken advantage > of? _________ Answers - Got a question? Someone out there knows the answer. Try it now. http://uk.answers./ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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