Forgiveness

[Guest guest]

Thanks to all for your input on forgiveness. Not sure why I

struggle with this one, but it's difficult for me. So much easier

to hold a grudge - lol. I practiced Dhyana's meditation given and

felt lighter afterwards. Some of the responses given here are just

delicious! :-)

 

Much Love,

 

Melissa

 

, Elektra Fire

<elektra.fire wrote:

>

> Forgiveness does not mean " I am a doormat " , standing

> up for yourself is also needed, forgiveness just means

> " I will harbour no bad feelings towards you or

> judgement on your actions " .

> Also, we all need to take responsibilty for our part

> in every scenario, each being a mirror into ourself.

> If the lesson we need to learn is self respect then we

> will keep repeating certain situations until we take

> care of ourself.

>

> So, love, forgive but be strong and respect yourself,

> set loving boundaries , self love has to come before

> you can love others I believe.

>

> Shaktipat can only do as much as you can give. Be

> strong and loving.

>

> Hope this helps a little,

> Elektra x x x

>

> --- Melissa <mm7810 wrote:

>

> > Dear Friends -

> >

> > How does one go about drawing the line between

> > forgiveness and setting

> > appropriate boundaries so not to be taken advantage

> > of?

>

>

> _________

> Answers - Got a question? Someone out there knows the

answer. Try it

> now.

> http://uk.answers./

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Melissa!

 

I suspect that most people have issues with forgiveness, especially

at first... It took me a while with a couple of people, but I

finally started to see myself as no angel in a couple of past

situations, and that that seemed to help in the process. There is

only one person that I'm having issues with now, and she seems to be

more of a " personal space infraction " issue as chrism called it.

It's somewhat of a complicated issue, but I guess I'll figure it out

in time. Regarding forgiveness though, I will say that I've done

much worse things to myself than anyone else has done. It's almost a

mantra, " I forgive myself for being " stu-pid " . :-) (You'd probably

have to be from the southern US to really say that properly, but it

works well with deep breathing exercises. :-)) Anyway, as others

have said, there is no hurry to the process, just do a little each

day... :-)

 

Blessings to you and the group...

 

Paul

 

> Thanks to all for your input on forgiveness. Not sure why I

> struggle with this one, but it's difficult for me.

[Guest guest]

Elektra, that was so nicely put... thank you! love & light ~Jen~

 

, Elektra Fire

<elektra.fire wrote:

>

> I can tell you what helped me learn to forgive, when I

> realised that we are all one, every single person is

> my brother and sister, their pain is my pain, their

> suffering is my suffering, when I forgive I help the

> whole of creation lift up and become closer to god, as

> I forgive so can I forgive myself and be forgiven.

>

> What is this world after all? Just a dream perhaps as

> Shakespeare put it, merely actors on a stage.

>

> Aren't we all just reflections of one another?

> Isn't everyone playing their role perfectly?

>

> Whats to forgive? Can we not just love, love the

> darkness, love the light, love the lessons, love the

> arrows, love the wounds, until there IS only love

> left.

>

> Love Elektra x x x

>

>

> _________

> Answers - Got a question? Someone out there knows the answer.

Try it

> now.

> http://uk.answers./

>

[Guest guest]

Nice going with your dying friend. Well done! Regarding your

childhood trauma has the person you were then forgiven this incident?

The twelve year old you may have fractured away in order to survive

the fear and danger that the situation presented. Perhaps you can go

within and see if she is ok. - Just a thought - blessings LauraJoyce

and what a gift of a phone call. - chrism

[Guest guest]

I would never even have thought of this and yes that is what it is. I

can feel it as I write to you. I don't often jounal but boy or boy I

think we hit gold on this one. I need to do something about this right

away as these feelings are very intense. I have done inner child work

but unknowingly left my poor little 12 year old alone. Probly wasn't

ready for that yet. I know I am now or it wouldn't have come up. Thank

you for helping me to see this. I will let you know how I am doing with

it all. For now I need to just be with it...LJ

 

 

 

, " chrism "

<> wrote:

>

> Nice going with your dying friend. Well done! Regarding your

> childhood trauma has the person you were then forgiven this incident?

> The twelve year old you may have fractured away in order to survive

> the fear and danger that the situation presented. Perhaps you can go

> within and see if she is ok. - Just a thought - blessings LauraJoyce

> and what a gift of a phone call. - chrism

>

[Guest guest]

I'm proud of you LauraJoyce and you should be very proud of

yourself! You have had SO many changes and so much growth since you

joined the group. You are really cooking! I'm sure that you will

also get past the issue from when you are 12. Perhaps there is

something that still needs to be done. Have you forgiven yourself

from back then?

 

Sarita

 

Kundalini-Awakening-Systems-

1 , " laurashomefires " <laurashomefires wrote:

>

> I have just spent the afternoon with a dying friend Tom who cannot

> talk because he is to sick. Tom is a very special person. I didn't

> realize how much he truly means to me until I was told he was dying

> and that I should come to the hospital quickly. While I was with

him

> I told him how much I appreciated something he had done for me

> several years earlier. I had been living with a man and found out

he

> cheated on me. Tom told me the truth when I asked him if it was

true.

> This was a hard decision for him as the guy I lived with was his

best

> friend at the time.

>

> Fooling around on me at that time in my life… I thought my heart

had

> split in two. I was devastated

>

> I was able to tell my friend today what a life changing experience

> that was for me and thank him for his honesty as some very positive

> growth came about because of this. As I was talking to Tom

something

> told me that he wanted this friend of his to know that he was dying

> even though he could not tell me himself because he can't talk. Now

I

> have not talked to his friend since I threw him out the house 11

> years ago. When I left the hospital I went to a meeting and the

whole

> time it was on my heart to get hold of his friend and tell him that

> Tom is leaving this world so he could say good buy.

>

> After the meeting I called 411 to get his friend's number and I

made

> the call to suggest that he go to the hospital as soon as he could.

I

> realized in that moment that this had come full circle and that I

> forgiven him. I also realized how much I have grown. I am happy I

> called him and glad that I was able to be of service to my dying

> friend. My girlfriend tonight told me that Tom had mentioned this

> past week he wanted to call this friend I phone. It was important

to

> him…

>

> This is the weird part though…

>

> Somehow something has triggered another incident. I covered up my

> hurts, pains and fears for years with drugs and alcohol. I had only

> been clean for a year when a particular incident came crashing in

> around me. One night my body shook uncontrollably and it's as if I

> went through a tunnel and there I was right back in that car again

> when I was 12 years old. I was held hostage in a man's car with 2

> other friends for 15 hours. The man ended up getting 9 years in

jail.

> I don't need to go into detail but I will say I think I have done a

> lot of work around this. But now tonight somehow and something has

re-

> triggered these emotions. I have been to counseling and done a lot

of

> work on it. I haven't thought about it for a very long time. I am

> positive I have forgiven the person but then why would it come up

> like this again. Could it be the 2 friends' in the car I need to do

> the work on. One has past on she OD and the other I went on to

marry.

> We are divorced but do not speak. I believe I have forgiven them

both

> though. Oh my goodness I am just not sure what it's about….

> Love and Light

> Laura Joyce

>

[Guest guest]

When it comes to forgiveness, if something comes up,

don't even question if you " Think " you have forgiven

them, the mind doesn't know the true depths of the

pains.

The best thing to do is whenever you think of

something, go through the whole process again, think

of everyone involved, every angle, a day will come

when it will not come up, only then have you truly let

it go, and by that time you'll be laughing over it, or

thanking it for happening and rejoicing in the lesson

of it all.

 

I thought I had forgiven my older brother and yet my

addictions lingered telling me otherwise. I also had

to forgive myself.

Thats a BIGGIE!

 

It is a life long process , but a most rewarding one.

 

You are doing extremely well LJ, I am really proud to

watch you steamroller thru all these issues with such

gusto.

You just go there girl, I'm in your corner

cheering!!!! Go Go Go!

 

Love ya

Elektra x x x

 

 

 

_________

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[Guest guest]

A feast for thought Jonathan,

Thank you for this enlightening post! - blessings -

chrism

 

, " jonrow_2914 "

<jrowland wrote:

The issue of forgiveness was raised earlier this month in the forum

> and chrism also raised it specifically in connection with the

safeties

> and our daily practice. Forgiving significant past wrongs suffered

is

> not easy and is most certainly not a `one-off' event.

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Jonathan. I appreaciate you sharing that...very helpful.

 

blessings,

Linda

 

, " jonrow_2914 "

<jrowland wrote:

>

> The issue of forgiveness was raised earlier this month in the forum

> and chrism also raised it specifically in connection with the

safeties

> and our daily practice. Forgiving significant past wrongs suffered

is

> not easy and is most certainly not a `one-off' event. In reading up

> on the psychology of forgiveness I found some excellent descriptions

> that may resonate with some of the group:

>

> Forgiveness … " is a decision to see beyond the limits of another's

> personality " … " is an attitude that implies that you are willing to

> accept responsibility for your perceptions, realizing that your

> perceptions are a choice and not an objective fact " … " is a process

> that requires shifting your perceptions again and again…is rarely a

> one-time event " … " is a way of life that gradually transforms us from

> being helpless victims of our circumstances to being powerful and

> loving co-creators of our reality " … " Forgiveness is not about what

we

> do, it is about the way we perceive people and circumstances "

>

> Genuine forgiveness demands every mental, moral and spiritual

resource

> you have. . . . Nobody forgives spontaneously; victims must make an

> effort to move beyond their inevitable shock, rage, grief and desire

> for revenge… Forgiveness is the accomplishment of mastery over a

> wound. It is the process though which an injured person first fights

> off, then embraces, then conquers a situation that has nearly

> destroyed him

>

> In Buddhism, forgiveness does not mean absolution, but an

opportunity

> for the inner transformation of both victim and perpetrator. The

> perpetrator of evil will suffer over many lifetimes to a degree

> determined by his actions, until he is ready for inner

transformation.

> For the victim, forgiveness is a way of transforming his own grief,

> resentment, or hatred into good. To grant forgiveness to someone who

> has truly changed is not a way of condoning or forgetting his or her

> past crimes, but of acknowledging whom he or she has become..

>

> Food for thought…

>

> Blessings-Jonathan

>

[Guest guest]

ok if i keep thinking about this i'm gonna post a lot of messages..

maybe this is just one part of forgiveness from what i said...because

if tommorow something happens and i feel anger and say to myself " ohh

it's ok i forgave him " but still! feel the anger then it's like

fooling myself.so that's why i said that i must practice the idea of

forgiveness after the statement. bye!

[Guest guest]

You are right. Forgiveness is something that should be done every

day. It is a process not an event. It cannot be done once and then

forgotten. It builds and becomes stronger within you as you repeat

it.

 

The part that I find particularly empowering and wonderful is that

after I forgive those who have harmed me and forgive myself for

those who I have harmed, I also send unconditional love to all of

them including myself. This is very powerful and also helps to

overcome any feelings of anger etc against those who may have harmed

me.

 

Neil

 

 

, " kalaslight "

<kalaslight wrote:

>

> Hello i was reading the posts about forgiveness and i thought to

> myself that i should make a statement to the universe,God

> whatever...that " now " i forgive everyone from the past the future

the

> now and everything...and i felt that if someone tomorrow does

> something bad to me i'm gonna feel good because i already forgave

him!

> But i don't think it's enough just say it i must keep the idea and

the

> feeling and program myself with that. what do you think?

>

[Guest guest]

Forgiveness is something you FEEL, not something you say.

 

Neil

 

 

, " kalaslight "

<kalaslight wrote:

>

> ok if i keep thinking about this i'm gonna post a lot of messages..

> maybe this is just one part of forgiveness from what i said...because

> if tommorow something happens and i feel anger and say to myself " ohh

> it's ok i forgave him " but still! feel the anger then it's like

> fooling myself.so that's why i said that i must practice the idea of

> forgiveness after the statement. bye!

>

[Guest guest]

Yes that's why somewhere in my first post i said: the idea and the

feeling. but you know words can't describe forgiveness,love etc.. it's

something beyond words we have to experience it.it's like saying tell

me the taste of a banana...you can't tell it you must it eat it and

feel it! (i read this somewhere it's not mine )

 

 

, " Neil Gilchrist "

<neil_gil wrote:

>

> Forgiveness is something you FEEL, not something you say.

>

> Neil

>

[Guest guest]

You've got the right idea Neil. It is very empowering and healing to forgive another. It usually does much more for us than it does for the person being forgiven. Good work!

Sarita

, "Neil Gilchrist" <neil_gil wrote:>> You are right. Forgiveness is something that should be done every > day. It is a process not an event. It cannot be done once and then > forgotten. It builds and becomes stronger within you as you repeat > it. > > The part that I find particularly empowering and wonderful is that > after I forgive those who have harmed me and forgive myself for > those who I have harmed, I also send unconditional love to all of > them including myself. This is very powerful and also helps to > overcome any feelings of anger etc against those who may have harmed > me.> > Neil> > > , "kalaslight" > kalaslight@ wrote:> >> > Hello i was reading the posts about forgiveness and i thought to> > myself that i should make a statement to the universe,God> > whatever...that "now" i forgive everyone from the past the future > the> > now and everything...and i felt that if someone tomorrow does> > something bad to me i'm gonna feel good because i already forgave > him! > > But i don't think it's enough just say it i must keep the idea and > the> > feeling and program myself with that. what do you think?> >>

[Guest guest]

At 09:57 PM 10/9/2008, you wrote:

Forgiveness is something you

FEEL, not something you say.

For me, forgiveness is something I DON'T feel. Forgiveness is letting go

of feelings and attachments.

Brandi

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam,

 

This may be a little vague, but I wanted to reach out to those who

might be able to share their or others experiences with forgiving

people, including yourself, in connection with grief and trauma, and

what meditations, kriyas, prayers, they had touched on during that

process or continue to pull from.

 

This revolves around situations where you or someone else may

have made the decision to be part of the lives of those persons who

may have been part of that initial pain or had inflicted the pain.

The

memory of the trauma still comes up and can still be very painful.

The

person may still be trying to forgive themselves for making the

decision to remain or return. The intention to stay was grounded on

survival.

 

Thank you in advance for those who can share their stories...

 

Blessings and Peace,

Meher Bani Kaur

[Guest guest]

Hi there! Interesting topic, but yes too vague as there's no

specification on the outcome of your data collecting. No doubt we

could all contribute easily to this thread, but why make oneself so

vulnerable when the reason(s) for the questions are unclear.

[Guest guest]

Sat Nam!

 

There is a tool you could use for lots of situations:

The Reverse Adi Shakti Kriya.

 

Basically, you bless yourself, your ancestors, and all

the people that will come after you.

 

I've done it for more than 90 days and -- among other

things like self-forgiveness -- I really see a change

in the way I perceive situations, and in things I don't

accept anymore or I choose to accept because I feel

stronger.

 

You will find it in the KRI DVDs called

" The Aquarian Teacher -- Authentic Relationships " .

 

Blessings,

 

Mohan Kaur

 

 

 

Découvrez les photos les plus intéressantes du jour.

http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/

[Guest guest]

I've been doing the safeties everyday and the forgiveness part. I'm aware of

the resistance I feel to forgiving myself, particularly after I let go of

anger/resentment & feel the deep hurt associated with situations with others.

I'm getting some painful truths about my way of dealing with hurts, the layers I

pile on. ....I'm continuing on with the practices.

blessings,

Jan

[Guest guest]

After carefully reviewing the safeties, I realized that I had already incorporated much of them into my daily routine. There are a few differences, but the theme outlined in the safeties is the tried and true formula for peaceful and meaningful change.

 

It occurred to me long ago to forgive the world, to surrender to everything in it. I do my best to open my mind up to what reality is offering and carefully way the outcome of my choices. Many times I feel that people who have no idea of kundalini do not understand my choices, so often they tell me, "why don't you just do something with your life". I do not fault my family and friends for being unable to fathom the worlds within that I experience. My imagination is prompted by the universe to create subtle stimuli, and my reactions to these internal events are choices that are as important to me as the decisions they make in their careers or what they choose to eat for supper. Success and failure have taken on a new meaning, I feel in my energy. It is easy in these cases to forgive the world, to not be offended or agitated when I'm made to feel that I don't match up or fall in line with the norm. I'm blessed beyond words.

 

During periods where I act to understand, without worry for being understood, I am taking a leap of faith. To act, with only the certain love of my self/the world, yields a mixture of results. The good or positive moves me closer to god, the negative is accepted and transmuted through outpouring love.

 

It was said previously that to speak of something diminishes its power, which I agree with, so I don't spend much time talking about these occurrences.. All I can do is convey to the world the deepest sense of love my being can offer at this point in my awakening. At this point in time, it is the only way I know how to process these experiences. A better understanding of how to do simple things like address an issue or communicate my feelings and fears is welcomed.

 

Blessings

KB

 

 

 

Jan <drjandean Sent: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 9:35:37 PM re: forgiveness

 

I've been doing the safeties everyday and the forgiveness part. I'm aware of the resistance I feel to forgiving myself, particularly after I let go of anger/resentment & feel the deep hurt associated with situations with others. I'm getting some painful truths about my way of dealing with hurts, the layers I pile on. ....I'm continuing on with the practices. blessings,Jan

[Guest guest]

I'm going to visit my family in Michigan next week. I almost cancelled after

having all this anger at alcoholism and then anger at my dad for drinking one

night. I wasn't talking to him, having this punishing anger thing going for

about a week but continued to do my forgiveness practice. then, I suddenly

realized that if he chose to drink or not drink, I could love him

unconditionally! And it was gone, my anger was gone. There is also a softening

in my heart towards myself as well about my own history of alcohol abuse. I

still have work to do around my sister but continue to do my practices. Love

and blessings to you all, Jan

[Guest guest]

Hi Jan,

From life experience I understand what this kind of anger feels like... it was

fear and intense mental suffering as a child because I was a very sensitive

child around my mother's crying and her defenseless persona. My father had a

problem with alcoholism he was an adoptive father to my bros and he became a

cruel step father. Later in my teens it was livid anger at bros' problems with

this and again my mother's defenseless pattern. For years as a grown up I had a

very hard heart felt more that I was helping my mother than she was ever able to

protect me or even imagine success for me. Maybe for yourself at times you may

have felt that you grew up on your own or in spite of it all - If not then I

don't want to assume. Wanted to thank you - When you describe the softening of

your heart I'm remembering my own heart and how I can slip into not feeling

anything by default. Even as a happy person I can detach too easily. I remember

it took some softening to experience forgiveness and self forgiveness and to

have love they can feel and you (universal) can feel. And for me it was finding

out that I was loved. That my family did love me.When I experienced homelessness

it was my brothers who helped me, using their sick days, vacation days and

taking many days off without pay risking their good relationships with their

bosses at work and paying for airfare to get me , without insulting me, without

a word of profanity toward me, no threatening, hitting or wanting to put me in a

homeless shelter. I learned from being in their homes some really neat things

about them. How as guys they bonded with each other over the years.. raunchy

humor that made me laugh... and to recognize my mom (deceased now) all over

again in my brother's way of walking, so many of his gestures and the way he

kept his home reminded me of my mom. Thank you for your blessings Jan. Thank

you.

Anna

 

drjandean

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 13:16:03 +0000

re: forgiveness

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm going to visit my family in Michigan next week. I almost

cancelled after having all this anger at alcoholism and then anger at my dad for

drinking one night. I wasn't talking to him, having this punishing anger thing

going for about a week but continued to do my forgiveness practice. then, I

suddenly realized that if he chose to drink or not drink, I could love him

unconditionally! And it was gone, my anger was gone. There is also a softening

in my heart towards myself as well about my own history of alcohol abuse. I

still have work to do around my sister but continue to do my practices. Love

and blessings to you all, Jan

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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