Guest guest Posted October 8, 2009 Report Share Posted October 8, 2009 The male Perspective We always hear “the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered 1 ON PURPOSE! 1.Learn to work the toilet seat. You are a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1.Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1.Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1.Crying is blackmail. 1.Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1.Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1.Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1.A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1.Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1.If you won't dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1.If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1.If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials. 1.Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1.ALL men see in only six colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1.If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1.If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing, we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1.If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1.When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1.Don't ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1.You have enough clothes. 1.You have too many shoes. 1.I am in shape. Round is a shape. 1.Thank you for reading this; yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping. _________________ Light travels faster than sound. That's why so many people appear bright until you hear them speak. Alf found on another forum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2009 Report Share Posted October 8, 2009 Fun!!! Yogi Bhajan definitely used lots of humor and not all of it politically correct. He might even have used the " ones " below Sat Ganesha Singh " participate, share, contribute " Kundalini-Yoga , " MyraL " <myralorey wrote: > > The male Perspective > > We always hear “the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered 1 ON PURPOSE! > > 1.Learn to work the toilet seat. You are a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. > > 1.Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. > > 1.Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. > > 1.Crying is blackmail. > > 1.Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! > > 1.Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. > > 1.Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. > > 1.A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. > > 1.Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. > > 1.If you won't dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. > > 1.If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. > > 1.If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. > > 1.You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. > > 1.Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the commercials. > > 1.Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. > > 1.ALL men see in only six colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. > > 1.If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. > > 1.If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing, we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. > > 1.If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. > > 1.When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. > > 1.Don't ask us what were thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. > > 1.You have enough clothes. > > 1.You have too many shoes. > > 1.I am in shape. Round is a shape. > > 1.Thank you for reading this; yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping. > _________________ > Light travels faster than sound. That's why so many people appear bright until you hear them speak. > Alf > > found on another forum > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2009 Report Share Posted October 10, 2009 I am female, and appreciate your sense of humor and feedback. That's what as couple we should do, just laugh at each other ... even though sometimes we really want to kill each other ... a little sense of humor makes everything better. Life is good, but when we are in love is just great! I admitt that I do a lot of those things that were in your list, but I learn so much about life, love, patience, commitment etc... by keeping my relationship. Just wanna to thank you for bring some funny and real advices. Thank you! Guru Kirtan Kaur Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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