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School Trains Women to be 'Homely' Wives

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Bhopal, June 11 (IANS) Unbelievable but true! A special school in

Madhya Pradesh actually trains women to become ideal, obedient and

submissive wives and daughters-in-law. Though it has many takers, it

has drawn the ire of social activists and women's organisations.

 

Founded in 1987, the Manju Sanskar Kendra in Bhopal teaches young

women the art of being good wives by serving their husbands and in-

laws, and thereby preventing splits in the family.

 

" The primary aim of the Kendra is to prevent Indian families from

breaking up under the pressures it faces nowadays, " says Bhau Ayaldas

Hemnani, the founder and director of the rather unique school.

 

It offers a three-month course that stresses on the importance

of " Indian culture " and the woman adjusting to her new family after

marriage. While students spend the first month learning Sikh and

Hindu scriptures, the second month has lessons in naturopathy and the

third is entirely dedicated to domestic life.

 

" We teach women how to serve their husbands and win laurels and how

to behave with in-laws. We also tell them to be tolerant while

adjusting to their new home, " Hemnani told IANS.

 

Women's rights activists and groups have termed the very idea of the

school " ridiculous " , anti-women and regressive. They have in fact

suggested that schools now be opened to train ideal husbands too.

 

" We don't have any objection if the centre starts teaching men to be

an ideal husband, father or son. It would be a step towards building

a balanced society. Why only train girls to be submissive? " asks

Sandhya Shelly, state president of the All India Democratic Women's

Association.

 

Chandna Arora of the All India Women's Council, says: " Thousands of

women are doused with kerosene and set on fire by their greedy

husbands and their families. Most of these dowry-related deaths are

passed off as kitchen accidents. How will they resist dowry or other

domestic abuse? "

 

Contrary to one's expectations, the centre is very popular with over

4,500 having graduated from it so far.

 

" My Bhabhi (sister-in-law) is considered an ideal daughter-in-law in

my family, and she motivated me to join the classes here, " says

Ragini, as student of the school who is to wed next month.

 

Says Sudha, another student: " The school not only teaches us to be

polite and obedient towards our in-laws and the husband but also

teaches us cooking, sewing and daily prayers without any fees.

 

" It tells us that these are the basic essentials an Indian girl must

learn before marriage, regardless of whether she is a working woman

or chooses to be a housewife. "

 

Hemnani believes the education imparted by his school will go a long

way in preserving the Indian joint family system - now being fast

replaced by nuclear families, especially in metros.

 

" The joint family will remain intact if you imbibe Indian 'sanskars'

(values) from our great religious books, " he stresses.

 

The students not only listen to lectures instilled with religious and

marital wisdom but are also taught devotional songs and practice

household chores.

 

Shelly, however, maintains that girls should instead be taught to

resist greed and violence on the part of in-laws. " Official figures

show that the number of women killed by their in-laws over dowry is

rising by the day, despite it being illegal, " she points out.

 

An ideal Indian wife, according to Hemani, should have four virtues -

obedience, a healthy lifestyle, be loved by her husband and attached

to the household.

 

" A new bride is generally expected to win the hearts of all by her

work and submission and we prepare her for that, " asserts the

director.

 

And it sure seems to have brainwashed many young minds. Said Bandana

Raizada: " I'm confident that after this course, I shall not commit

any mistake in my in-laws' house. "

 

Asha Mishra, another women's activist, feels that instilling

servility and submissiveness among women would not help in holding

the family together.

 

Though rights groups are of the view that it would only make women

more vulnerable to torture and abuse - both mental and physical -

Hemani believes otherwise.

 

" If I teach girls to be a good wife, it doesn't mean that I am

telling them to bear atrocities! " he remarked.

 

SOURCE: Andhra Cafe

URL: http://andhracafe.com/index.php?m=show & id=23949

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quote " If I teach girls to be a good wife, it doesn't mean that I am

telling them to bear atrocities! " he remarked. end quote

 

Yes, but you're not telling them not to, and you're not telling them

what to do when they are committed.

 

I agree, there should be training on both sides. The (heterosexual)

marriages that I have seen that have worked best have been blessed by

including men who were thoughtful and well balanced.

 

It does take a great deal of patience, thoughtfulness and good manners

to make a marriage work, but these must come from both sides.

 

Is there no example of that in the scriptures?

 

namaste,

 

pr

 

, " Devi Bhakta " <devi_bhakta

wrote:

>

> Bhopal, June 11 (IANS) Unbelievable but true! A special school in

> Madhya Pradesh actually trains women to become ideal, obedient and

> submissive wives and daughters-in-law. Though it has many takers, it

> has drawn the ire of social activists and women's organisations.

>

> Founded in 1987, the Manju Sanskar Kendra in Bhopal teaches young

> women the art of being good wives by serving their husbands and in-

> laws, and thereby preventing splits in the family.

>

> " The primary aim of the Kendra is to prevent Indian families from

> breaking up under the pressures it faces nowadays, " says Bhau Ayaldas

> Hemnani, the founder and director of the rather unique school.

>

> It offers a three-month course that stresses on the importance

> of " Indian culture " and the woman adjusting to her new family after

> marriage. While students spend the first month learning Sikh and

> Hindu scriptures, the second month has lessons in naturopathy and the

> third is entirely dedicated to domestic life.

>

> " We teach women how to serve their husbands and win laurels and how

> to behave with in-laws. We also tell them to be tolerant while

> adjusting to their new home, " Hemnani told IANS.

>

> Women's rights activists and groups have termed the very idea of the

> school " ridiculous " , anti-women and regressive. They have in fact

> suggested that schools now be opened to train ideal husbands too.

>

> " We don't have any objection if the centre starts teaching men to be

> an ideal husband, father or son. It would be a step towards building

> a balanced society. Why only train girls to be submissive? " asks

> Sandhya Shelly, state president of the All India Democratic Women's

> Association.

>

> Chandna Arora of the All India Women's Council, says: " Thousands of

> women are doused with kerosene and set on fire by their greedy

> husbands and their families. Most of these dowry-related deaths are

> passed off as kitchen accidents. How will they resist dowry or other

> domestic abuse? "

>

> Contrary to one's expectations, the centre is very popular with over

> 4,500 having graduated from it so far.

>

> " My Bhabhi (sister-in-law) is considered an ideal daughter-in-law in

> my family, and she motivated me to join the classes here, " says

> Ragini, as student of the school who is to wed next month.

>

> Says Sudha, another student: " The school not only teaches us to be

> polite and obedient towards our in-laws and the husband but also

> teaches us cooking, sewing and daily prayers without any fees.

>

> " It tells us that these are the basic essentials an Indian girl must

> learn before marriage, regardless of whether she is a working woman

> or chooses to be a housewife. "

>

> Hemnani believes the education imparted by his school will go a long

> way in preserving the Indian joint family system - now being fast

> replaced by nuclear families, especially in metros.

>

> " The joint family will remain intact if you imbibe Indian 'sanskars'

> (values) from our great religious books, " he stresses.

>

> The students not only listen to lectures instilled with religious and

> marital wisdom but are also taught devotional songs and practice

> household chores.

>

> Shelly, however, maintains that girls should instead be taught to

> resist greed and violence on the part of in-laws. " Official figures

> show that the number of women killed by their in-laws over dowry is

> rising by the day, despite it being illegal, " she points out.

>

> An ideal Indian wife, according to Hemani, should have four virtues -

> obedience, a healthy lifestyle, be loved by her husband and attached

> to the household.

>

> " A new bride is generally expected to win the hearts of all by her

> work and submission and we prepare her for that, " asserts the

> director.

>

> And it sure seems to have brainwashed many young minds. Said Bandana

> Raizada: " I'm confident that after this course, I shall not commit

> any mistake in my in-laws' house. "

>

> Asha Mishra, another women's activist, feels that instilling

> servility and submissiveness among women would not help in holding

> the family together.

>

> Though rights groups are of the view that it would only make women

> more vulnerable to torture and abuse - both mental and physical -

> Hemani believes otherwise.

>

> " If I teach girls to be a good wife, it doesn't mean that I am

> telling them to bear atrocities! " he remarked.

>

> SOURCE: Andhra Cafe

> URL: http://andhracafe.com/index.php?m=show & id=23949

>

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