Guest guest Posted March 18, 2007 Report Share Posted March 18, 2007 Sadhu Maa wrote: As one moves through life, from the passions and idealism of youththrough the trials and losses of adulthood, from rajas to tamassometimes passing and certainly holding onto the ideal ofsattva....how to know the difference between the dispassion of sattva,not experiencing attraction or adversion, and old fashiondisillusionment of adulthood? How to kindle faith and hope after yearsof loss and fruitless searching. How to still care when you have seenthe distructive patterns continuing, when like a finger put in andpulled out of water, one sees the world and the duality continue nomatter what is done. Does any of it really change, get better?I think this is an important discussion for many. To understandpersonally and in order to support others in these times. Dear Sadhu Maa ~ if I had read this before writing a response to vishweshwar, I could have just pasted in what you wrote because it seems to define in a very concrete and real way, much of what I've been going through. I have always believed it gets better ... my life, my work ... was always devoted to this belief. And then I got sick, and sicker, and lost my job, lost everything, but for my the collection of things I've accumulated. When they were in storage for four years, they all took on immense importance. Now that I've unpacked some of them, I find they don't hold the same meaning to me ... although I do have to say, I do love my beanie baby collection (wild animals and horses). I think for me, if I can't find a way to give of myself, getting or having becomes somewhat meaningless. And the loss of my voice was the very last straw. Oh, I have been like a child having a good long temper tantrum. I finally went to an ear, nose and throat doctor, and it was pretty much as I had guessed, but at the same time, no one told me this could happen. Because of the Fibromyalgia, I have neuromusculor degeneration in my vocal chords. Although, recently I heard on tv, a young country singer who had whooping cough as a child, and it had ruined his voice. He sounded pretty good to me. So then, in the midst of despair, there was hope. I guess this is part of duality. I'm still determined to make my two cds, with Divine Mother's blessing, it it be Her will ... and your statement about how to kindle faith and hope after after years of loss and fruitless searching ... I think is a good topic for discussion. I would be very interested to know how others feel/think about this matter. Through my whole life, my music was my faith and hope, my connection to the Divine within/without ... and when I felt that it, too, had been taken from me ... well, I've been in the pits. Yet, I go downtown and smile at a friend, or maybe we chat, and that has meaning. I am taking a drawing class (refresher), and that has meaning ... being focused on realistic drawing ... it is turning my attention once again to the incredible symmetry, beauty, harmony, and even chaos in the world around me. Now I can look at the ground again and find a simple dried, flattened leaf to be the epitome of beauty. Not quite out of my pit, though, which is why my sister's prodding and encouragement got me to take out the folder with the mantra we are doing and begin again. Now I am only happy to be part of something bigger than myself; if I do less or the same or more, it doesn't matter. Jai Maa , Jai Swamiji ~ Linda AOL now offers free email to everyone. Find out more about what's free from AOL at AOL.com. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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