Guest guest Posted July 7, 2008 Report Share Posted July 7, 2008 sal wrote: ....How did those feel after completing or not completing some of the huge sankalpas asked of us over the last several years? Does one internalize it as guilt, sorrow, failure? Or does one beam with pride over having accomplished something enormous? Either way, is this not a direct hit to our vanity? Are we somehow attached to the outsome? Again, I always ask, does Mother not love us all the same anyway?... Dear sal ~ you have posed some excellent, heartfelt responses to the question posed by Shree Maa, and I agree with you, that in some way, this is fodder for the Ego. Did I succeed? Did I fail? Did I keep up the group? Having come from a background religious experience of doom, gloom, sin and hellfire, I have always had to be very gentle with myself when approaching the group sankalpas. Most of the group who've been around for awhile, though I went AWOL for some time, know me. They know I am ill and that I've struggled with this in terms of sankalpas. At one point I even wrote to Swamiji and asked him if it was okay for me to chant the Chandi, reclining in my bed because I was too sick to sit at my altar for very long. It was a wonderful and pleasant surprise when he said, "yes," just simply like that. During one of the first group sankalpas I participated in, I became very discouraged when the numbers of times people were chanting were posted in the digest. Oh I am ever the turtle, lagging far behind. And my ego had to take a big step backwards. I wrote to one of the devotees at the Mandir about it, and I have never forgotten her very wise answer to "not be discouraged by comparing myself with others and be happy at their accomplishments." That was a big gulp, but after that I posted my numbers, even though they were always far behind. I am never able to complete chanting the Chandi in the amount of time for Navratri or for some other reason the group is chanting it. I had to let go and be okay with what I could do. I guess it's the old adage of only comparing yourself with yourself. And what is learned and experienced in doing the sankalpas, even if one is unable to keep up with most of the group, is more precious than gold. I hope this is helpful to your concern. Blessings ~ Linda Gas prices getting you down? Search AOL Autos for fuel-efficient used cars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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