to vish about spiritual practice with spouses, and lightbulbs

[Guest guest]

Dear vish ~ it makes me sad to say it, but this would absolutely not work with my husband; in fact, it would most likely backfire. He would be angry and he would then withdraw. Yesterday, he got mad and then withdrew for the rest of the day, after I attempted to state a desire for more mutual active listening.

 

If I am devoted to him, then I have to accept this. He has said he is an agnostic, and nothing I say or do changes his mind. If I worship him as Shree Maa suggested to my sister, it would be worshiping him, accepting him, as he is without trying to change him. I have learned the very hard way that to change a lightbulb, the lightbulb must want to change (sorry, just a small amount of humor to the situation). He might eventually come to know and, perhaps, even ask about what I am doing, because his picture on my altar might interest him. Most likely he would just not show interest. I could leave him again, but I'm not sure that would be what Maa and Swamiji would want or advise. If I did, then I would wear a placard around my neck that would say: wanted ~ a partner who is interested in spiritual development. Maybe I'd have better luck then.

 

This is not to say, however, that your suggestions would not work for Kumari, though I agree with you that her hesitation seems to suggest some lack of mutual knowledge or perhaps even being hesitant because she may know, like I know, how he would be likely to react. You are very fortunate vish, to be in a relationship where you were both able to want and to have the advice of Maa and Swamiji. It says to me that your wife was already very interested in spirituality, perhaps already pursuing a path...

Anyway, you know, the lightbulb... Jai Maa , Jai Swamiji

~ Linda

 

vish wrote:

 

....There is much to talk about with your beloved before you discussperforming puja to him. Consider giving him a copy of BEFORE BECOMINGTHIS, and then begin discussing it with him, one chapter at a time. If he is comfortable with those ideas, introduce him to the Mandir website, and show him a video of Maa singing, and Swami teaching a classon Shiva puja. Be gentle and kind, and give him every chance toquestion and understand these ideas and concepts which mean so much toyou. Do not rush him. Allow him the space to integrate these ideasinto his world view, and constantly tell him you love him as he is,not how you wish him to be.See Shiva in him now, as he is. And love him and support him, andnuture him as Mother Divine supports Shiva. That will be your puja. Puja is a way of life, not just sitting anddoing mantras in front of an image of Shiva, or a lingum, on an altar.Puja is a focused act, with the intention of becoming closer andcloser to the object of attention. You wish to become one with yourbeloved, then, you must learn all about him, his likes and dislikes,and his goals and aspirations, then, work to help him manifest them. That is your puja, that is the puja of a devoted wife for her husband. If you share the same goals and aspirations, then he will want toreturn the loving energy you show him. He will want to make youhappy, and satisfy your needs and desires. He will want to performpuja to you in the same manner which you do to him. And, maybe one day, you will both perform puja to each other's feet.Get the Moviefone Toolbar. Showtimes, theaters, movie news more!