Guest guest Posted January 14, 2009 Report Share Posted January 14, 2009 Namaste Kumari, Gandarva or Prajapat or any other form of marriage does not pertain to the ceremony of marriage, but rather to the motivation and contents of the relationship. Primarily there are six kinds of marriage: Asura - when the bride is stolen away by force. Pishach - when the bride is coerced by trickery or deceit. Gandarva - when the bride and groom decide on their partners themselves and fix the parameters of the relationship without consultation of others. Prajapat - when the marriage is fixed by the parents and the bride is given to the husband in a ceremony called kanya dhan. Divya - Divine Marriage is a partnership between Shiva and Shakti; both partners agree to be a constant reminder to each other, an inspiration of each others' divinity. The ceremony you propose is adequate if the motivation is clear and the goals of the relationship are clearly defined. Best of luck. Swamiji , " mjfisher2005 " <mjfisher2005 wrote: > > This question is about something close to my heart. What does > Swamiji think of a Gandharva marriage? I know to some people this is > a lower form of marriage, but I think that depends on the attitude of > the couple involved. > > In my case both I and my fiance's parents are no longer living, so > there is no father to give the bride away and no father and mother in > law to welcome me into the family. My fiance's brothers and wives > have accepted me gladly as a new member of his family and my family > has raised no objection. We are both independent and make our own > choices, for good or ill. > > My fiance is willing to go through a ceremony of comittment before > Deity, but I think that it would be too difficult to go through a > complicated wedding ritual. As it stands we would do a Ganesh puja, > exchange garlands, have him place the mangal sutra around my neck, > make the seven steps around the fire and then acknowledge each > other's divinity. Rings would be exchanged at a civil ceremony with > his other relatives in attendence (and mine if they want to make the > journey). > > I desire to have Shree Maa's and Swamji's blessing on this plan and > on our relationship. If he or Shree Maa has any suggestions I would > be open to their comments. I think this is supported in the > traditions and we would go out of our way to avoid the difficulties > of this arrangement, being responsible and comitted to each other. > > My respectful pranams to Shree Maa and Swamiji. > > Om Jai Kali Ma! Om Namah Shivaya! > Kumari > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2009 Report Share Posted January 15, 2009 Thank you Swamiji for responding positively to my question. It is a big step that I am taking, that we are taking. Especially since I have had relationships before. If I may respond as to what the goal of this relationship is: The goal is to take the romantic feelings for each other and transmute them into being able to see the Deity in each other. Beyond the romance, companionship and attraction to each other, I do not see that there can be any other purpose. Any purpose that is less than that is not good enough to keep two people together for a life time and not begin to tear each other apart. It is a big challenge and I know that I am very far from this goal. But, if I continue to remember who's child I am and I lay the rough spots and problems at Ma's feet, then we will make progress. And believe me, there will be rough spots and problems from the very beginning. I am thankful for them, because then I do not expect it to be any different later. It seems in my other relationships it was very easy to slide into it unconciously. This time I must work from the start. Pranams to you and to Shree Maa in gratitude, Om Jai Kali Ma! Om Namah Shivaya Kumari , " inspectionconnection108 " <inspectionconnection108 wrote: > > Namaste Kumari, > > Gandarva or Prajapat or any other form of marriage does not pertain to > the ceremony of marriage, but rather to the motivation and contents of > the relationship. > > Primarily there are six kinds of marriage: > Asura - when the bride is stolen away by force. > Pishach - when the bride is coerced by trickery or deceit. > Gandarva - when the bride and groom decide on their partners > themselves and fix the parameters of the relationship without > consultation of others. > Prajapat - when the marriage is fixed by the parents and the bride is > given to the husband in a ceremony called kanya dhan. > Divya - Divine Marriage is a partnership between Shiva and Shakti; > both partners agree to be a constant reminder to each other, an > inspiration of each others' divinity. > > The ceremony you propose is adequate if the motivation is clear and > the goals of the relationship are clearly defined. > > Best of luck. > > Swamiji > > > > > > , " mjfisher2005 " <mjfisher2005@> > wrote: > > > > This question is about something close to my heart. What does > > Swamiji think of a Gandharva marriage? I know to some people this is > > a lower form of marriage, but I think that depends on the attitude of > > the couple involved. > > > > In my case both I and my fiance's parents are no longer living, so > > there is no father to give the bride away and no father and mother in > > law to welcome me into the family. My fiance's brothers and wives > > have accepted me gladly as a new member of his family and my family > > has raised no objection. We are both independent and make our own > > choices, for good or ill. > > > > My fiance is willing to go through a ceremony of comittment before > > Deity, but I think that it would be too difficult to go through a > > complicated wedding ritual. As it stands we would do a Ganesh puja, > > exchange garlands, have him place the mangal sutra around my neck, > > make the seven steps around the fire and then acknowledge each > > other's divinity. Rings would be exchanged at a civil ceremony with > > his other relatives in attendence (and mine if they want to make the > > journey). > > > > I desire to have Shree Maa's and Swamji's blessing on this plan and > > on our relationship. If he or Shree Maa has any suggestions I would > > be open to their comments. I think this is supported in the > > traditions and we would go out of our way to avoid the difficulties > > of this arrangement, being responsible and comitted to each other. > > > > My respectful pranams to Shree Maa and Swamiji. > > > > Om Jai Kali Ma! Om Namah Shivaya! > > Kumari > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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