to vish about burden

[Guest guest]

Dear vish ~ I agree with all you so eloquently write here, but I must tell you that, in some cases, what is right or true for most people is not right or true for others. My journey into these illnesses has, as my symptoms grow ever worse, made me more and more dependent on others.

 

First I was dependent on people to help clean my house. That may not seem like much, but for one who enjoyed cleaning and the feeling of renewal that activity brought, it was a blow. Then I became somewhat dependent on people to cook or prepare meals for me. I do that myself now, but my diet is extremely restricted because I don't have the energy for cooking and preparing food. My diet is cheese, yoghurt, fresh fruit, and muffins, every day. So in that way I have taken that burden off of my husband.

 

But now I am not able to drive. Will I ever drive again? I don't know. It depends on what is wrong with me; the doctors are still trying to figure it out. I am dependent on David to walk my dog, another "chore" I loved. David doesn't like to do it, but he knows I can't, and so he does. I live in fear over what ability I may lose next. My balance is really off; I stumble; I am clumsy; I fall; I drop things. Each of these is a reminder of the loss of abilities that I used to take for granted, and the loss has been so gradual, spread over several decades, that I really didn't "see" it coming.

 

I pray to Maa to help me bear my illnesses without rancor, fear or resentment; to give me the courage to be strong and to accept what I bear with grace and graciousness. I throw myself at the Mother, in anger like a child with a temper tantrum, then I grab onto her skirts and plead with her to help me be more accepting. So, I agree the ideal is to not be a burden on anyone, yet I am acutely aware every day, of just how much of a burden I have become. For some reason this is my karma and my dharma, and I work to learn whatever lessons are here for me.

 

I am sorry I reacted so strongly to what you wrote; I am now one of a group of millions, people who live at the good will of others; people whose "disability" may be invisible, but is just as limiting, just as frightening ... and like many, I work every day to rise above this. I guess this topic has been very much on my mind these last few weeks. ~ Linda

 

 

vish wrote:

Namaste all: Kumari captured the essence of Maa's teachings as Irelate to them. All of us face these issues every day and we can allrelate to your dilimma Ruchi.The key princilples here are: faith, trust, and surrender to DivineWill while acting in accord with the highest principles we are capableof at any moment.We have a body, we have responsibilities, we have physical andmaterial needs and we cannot be a burden on anyone. So we performsadhana to increase our capacity: our capacity to surrender, to havemore faith, to have greater devotion, to be more conscious while weact; and then we move into the world to perform our karma to fulfillour dharma. A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy steps!

[Guest guest]

Dear Linda,

 

thank you for helping me realize something important, please allow me

to share it with you. My mother, who suffered from Alzheimer's, lived

in a nursing home for many years, until she left the body two years

ago. Having always been a woman who felt it difficult to ask for any

thing, in the earlier stages of her illness, she often used to say

that she was sorry to be such a burden, to me and to everybody else.

And, to be honest, even though I loved my mum and always told her she

was no trouble at all, in many ways the situation felt like a burden

many times.

Yet looking back, I can see I was given so many great gifts: I

learned to become more open, more appreciative, more patient, learned

to laugh more and love more, and many times my mother and her friends

in the home taught me how to look at things in new ways and the

importance of the most simple gestures of kindness. If I could speak

to my mother now, I would tell her that I was happy to carry some of

the burden because what may have felt like a bag of heavy stones

sometimes actually was a bag full of treasure.

Dear Linda, what I am trying to say is this, and I hope I am sying it

right, is that allowing others to help you and care for you may be

the greatest gift you can give them,

 

with love,

Henny

 

 

 

oups.com, nierika wrote:

>

> Dear vish ~ I agree with all you so eloquently write here, but I

must tell

> you that, in some cases, what is right or true for most people is

not right or

> true for others. My journey into these illnesses has, as my

symptoms grow

> ever worse, made me more and more dependent on others.

>

> First I was dependent on people to help clean my house. That may

not seem

> like much, but for one who enjoyed cleaning and the feeling of

renewal that

> activity brought, it was a blow. Then I became somewhat dependent

on people to

> cook or prepare meals for me. I do that myself now, but my diet is

extremely

> restricted because I don't have the energy for cooking and

preparing food. My

> diet is cheese, yoghurt, fresh fruit, and muffins, every day. So in

that way I

> have taken that burden off of my husband.

>

> But now I am not able to drive. Will I ever drive again? I don't

know. It

> depends on what is wrong with me; the doctors are still trying to

figure it out.

> I am dependent on David to walk my dog, another " chore " I loved.

David

> doesn't like to do it, but he knows I can't, and so he does. I

live in fear over

> what ability I may lose next. My balance is really off; I stumble;

I am

> clumsy; I fall; I drop things. Each of these is a reminder of the

loss of abilities

> that I used to take for granted, and the loss has been so gradual,

spread

> over several decades, that I really didn't " see " it coming.

>

> I pray to Maa to help me bear my illnesses without rancor, fear or

> resentment; to give me the courage to be strong and to accept what

I bear with grace

> and graciousness. I throw myself at the Mother, in anger like a

child with a

> temper tantrum, then I grab onto her skirts and plead with her to

help me be

> more accepting. So, I agree the ideal is to not be a burden on

anyone, yet I am

> acutely aware every day, of just how much of a burden I have

become. For

> some reason this is my karma and my dharma, and I work to learn

whatever lessons

> are here for me.

>

> I am sorry I reacted so strongly to what you wrote; I am now one of

a group

> of millions, people who live at the good will of others; people

whose

> " disability " may be invisible, but is just as limiting, just as

frightening ... and

> like many, I work every day to rise above this. I guess this topic

has been

> very much on my mind these last few weeks. ~ Linda

>

>

> vish wrote:

>

> Namaste all: Kumari captured the essence of Maa's teachings as I

> relate to them. All of us face these issues every day and we can

all

> relate to your dilimma Ruchi.

> The key princilples here are: faith, trust, and surrender to

Divine

> Will while acting in accord with the highest principles we are

capable

> of at any moment.

> We have a body, we have responsibilities, we have physical and

> material needs and we cannot be a burden on anyone. So we perform

> sadhana to increase our capacity: our capacity to surrender, to

have

> more faith, to have greater devotion, to be more conscious while we

> act; and then we move into the world to perform our karma to

fulfill

> our dharma.

>

>

> **************A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in

just 2 easy

> steps!

> (http://pr.atwola.com/promoclk/100000075x1215855013x1201028747/aol?

redir=http://www.freecreditreport.com/pm/default.aspx?

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