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Dear brian ~ While not being an alcoholic myself, in my early 20's I realized that my abusive father was an alcoholic. We didn't seem him drink so we didn't make the association of his abusive behavior and the alcohoI. After making the connection, it all seemed so clear. At that time, I began to go to both AA and Al Anon meetings. My sister also was/is an alcoholic, so sometimes when she would come to town, I would literally speed to get to an Al Anon meeting very fast.

 

One of the things I learned "in these rooms" was that you don't have to be an alcoholic to have the illness. When you grow up in an alcoholic family, everyone in that situation has some of the behavior of the alcoholic. This was a hard learning for me because it forced me to identify and deal with some things I had done, not meaning to, but done, nevertheless. I feel that going to AA and Al Anon literally saved my life.

 

Here is my humble offering. Go to the program, get a sponsor, follow the recommended path, and while you're doing that begin working with the tools that Maa and Swamiji have and are lovingly providing. They have given so much to us to work with ~ the annual sankalpa mantra, puja books, biography books, classes on the website, etc.). There is also a lot of information from Digest members on the group Digest Page. (Can someone please give the link for this; I seem to have lost mine. Following is the link for for the Devi Mandir

website: http://www.shreemaa.org/drupal/

 

You mention Shiva and Durga as your Ishta Devatas (the ones you most identify with and hold close to your heart. Let them be your "higher power." No one in the groups have to know because anonominity is valued as a basic principle. Swamiji has given us both the full Shiva Puja and Durga Puja (Chandi Path) and in his grace and love, he has also given these for beginners (like me) also, so there is a Shiva Puja Beginner and a Durga Puja Beginner. You could get one of these and begin to practice puja, or even just recite the verses. You might even want to make a small altar where you could put pictures of Shiva and Durga and other things like candles.

 

I understand your path is a hard one and am very glad you have found the Shree Maa digest. When I feel I am faltering, I literally visualize myself grabbing on to the hem of Maa's beautiful yellow sari. She is always there if I reach out. Jai Maa Jai Swamiji

~ Linda

 

brian wrote:

 

i have struggled for years with alcohol and drug addiction i am a devotee of shiva and durga..i am starting a 12 step program and i am interested in any help and /or experience from others in this area..i want to be free from this so i can be at peace and stop hating everyone and everything..my life is a mess...thank u A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy steps!